THE 

WITCHES  OF  NEW  YORK. 


THE 


WITCHES  OF  NEW  YORK, 


AS    ENCOUNTERED    BY 


Q.  K.  PHILANDER  DOESTICKS,  P.  B. 


NEW  YORK  : 

RUDD    &   CARLETON,   310  BROADWAY. 
M  D  C  C  C  L  I  X  . 

K 


OF 


L 


TT 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1858,  by 

RUDD    &    CAELETOX, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States  for  the  Southern 
District  of  New  York. 


E.   CRAlGHEAfc, 

liter,  Stereotyper,  and  Electrotype^ 

Carton  JJmRimg, 

81,  S3,  and  83  Centre  Street* 


PREFACE. 


WHAT  the  Witches  of  New  York  City  personally  told  me, 
Doesticks,  you  will  find  written  in  this  volume,  without  the 
slightest  exaggeration  or  perversion.  I  set  out  now  with  no 
intention  of  misrepresenting  anything  that  came  under  my 
observation  in  collecting  the  material  for  this  book,  but  with 
an  honest  desire  to  tell  the  simple  truth  about  the  people  I 
encountered,  and  the  prophecies  I  paid  for. 

So  far  from  desiring  to  do  any  injustice  to  the  Fortune  Tel- 
lers of  the  Metropolis,  I  sincerely  hope  that  my  labors  may 
avail  something  towards  making  their  true  deservings  more 
widely  appreciated,  and  their  fitting  reward  more  full  and 
speedy.  I  am  satisfied  that  so  soon  as  their  character  is  better 
understood,  and  certain  peculiar  features  of  their  business 
more  thoroughly  comprehended  by  the  public,  they  will  meet 
with  more  attention  from  the  dignitaries  of  the  land  than  has 
ever  before  been  vouchsafed  them. 

I  thank  the  public  for  the  flattering  consideration  paid  to 
what  I  have  heretofore  written,  and  respectfully  submit  that 
if  they  would  increase  the  obligation,  perhaps  the  readiest  way 
is  to  buy  and  read  the  present  volume. 

THE  AUTHOR. 

Sept.  20&,  1858. 


17 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I.  ia  simply  Explanatory  so  far  as  regards  the 
book,  but  in  it  the  author  takes  occasion  to  pay  himself 
several  merited  compliments  on  the  score  of  honesty,  ability, 
&c.,  &c.,  &c 15 

CHAPTER  II.  is  devoted  to  the  glorification  of  Madame  Prew- 
ster,  of  No.  373  Bowery,  the  Pioneer  Witch  of  New  York. 
The  "Individual"  also  herein  bears  his  testimony  that  she 
is  oily  and  water-proof. 27 

CHAPTER  III.  wherein  are  related  divers  strange  things  of 
Madame  Bruce,  the  "  Mysterious  Veiled  Lady,"  o^No.  513 
Broome  Street 61 

CHAPTER  IV.  Relates  the  marvellous  performances  of  Madame 
Widger,  of  No.  3  First  Avenue,  and  how  she  looks  into  the 
future  through  a  paving  stone 73 

CHAPTER  Y.  Discourses  of  Mrs.  Pugh,  of  No.  102  South  First 
Street,  Williamsburgh,  and  tells  what  that  Nursing  Sorceress 
communicated  to  the  Cash  Customer..  .  99 


xii  Contents. 

CHAPTER  VI.  in  which  are  narrated  the  wonderful  workings 
of  Madame  Morrow,  the  "  Astonisher,"  of  No.  76  Broome 
Street,  and  how  by  a  Crinolinic  Stratagem  the  "  Individual" 
got  a  sight  of  his  "  Future  Husband." 123 

CHAPTER  VII.  contains  a  full  account  of  the  interview  of  the 
Cash  Customer  with  Doctor  Wilson,  the  Astrologer,  of  No. 
172  Delancey  Street.  The  Fates  decree  that  he  shall 
"  pizon  his  first  wife."  HOORAY  ! 147 

CHAPTER  VIII.  gives  a  history  of  how  Mrs  Hayes,  the  Clair- 
voyant, of  No.  176  Grand  Street,  does  the  Conjuring  Trick.  169 

CHAPTER  IX.  tells  all  about  Mrs.  Seymour,  the  Clairvoyant, 

of  No.  110  Spring  Street,  and  what  she  had  to  say 195 

CHAPTER  X.  describes  Madame  Carzo,  the  li  Brazilian  A stro- 
logist,"  and  gives  all  the  romantic  adventures  of  the  "Indi- 
vidual" with  the  gay  South  American  Maid 215 

CHAPTER  XL  In  which  is  set  down  the  prophecy  of  Madame 
Leander  Lent,  of  No.  163  Mulberry  Street;  and  how  she 
promised  her  customer  numerous  wives  and  children 239 

CHAPTER  XII.  Wherein  are  described  all  the  particulars  of  a 
visit  to  the  "  Gipsey  Girl,"  of  No.  207  Third  Avenue ;  with 
an  allusion  to  Gin,  and  other  luxuries  dear  to  the  heart  of 
that  beautiful  Rover 261 

CHAPTER  XIII.  contains  a  true  account  of  the  Magic  Esta- 
blishment of  Mrs.  Fleury,  of  No.  263  Broome  Street ;  and 
also  shows  the  exact  amount  of  Witchcraft  that  snuffy 
parsonage  can  afford  for  one  dollar 281 


Contents.  xiii 

CHAPTER  XIY.  describes  an  interview  with  the  4i  Cullud" 
Seer  Mr.  Grommer,  of  No.  34  North  Second  Street,  Williams- 
burgh,  and  what  that  respectable  Whitewasher  and  Prophet 
told  his  visitor. 305 

CHAPTER  XV.  How  the  Individual  called  on  Madame  Clifton 
of  No.  185  Orchard  Street,  and  how  that  amiable  and  gifted 
"Seventh  daughter  of  a  Seventh  daughter,"  prophesied  his 
speedy  death  and  destruction — together  with  all  about  the 
"  Chinese  Ruling  Planet  Charm." 327 

CHAPTER  XVI.  details  the  particulars  of  a  morning  call  on 
Madame  Harris,  and  how  she  covered  up  her  beautiful  head 
in  a  black  bag 353 

CHAPTER  XVII.  Treats  of  the  peculiarities  of  Several  Witches 

in  a  single  batch 371 

CHA  PTER  XVIII.  Conclusion 395 

\ 


CHAPTER    I. 


Which  is  simply  explanatory,  so  far  as  regards  the  book,  but 
in  which  the   author    takes   occasion    to    pay    him- 
self several  merited  compliments,  on  the 
score  of  honesty,  ability,    etc. 


CHAPTER  I. 

WHICH   IS   MERELY   EXPLANATORY. 

THE  first  undertaking  of  the  author  of  these  pages 
will  be  to  convince  his  readers  that  he  has  not  set 
about  making  a  merely  funny  book,  and  that  the 
subject  of  which  he  writes  is  one  that  challenges 
their  serious  and  earnest  attention.  Whatever  of 
humorous  description  may  be  found  in  the  succeeding 
chapters,  is  that  which  grows  legitimately  out  of 
certain  features  of  the  theme ;  for  there  has  been  no 
overstrained  effort  to  make  fun  where  none  naturally 
existed. 

The  Witches  of  New  York  exert  an  influence  too 
powerful  and  too  wide-spread  to  be  treated  with  such 
light  regard  as  has  been  too  long  manifested  by  the 
community  they  have  swindled  for  so  many  years ; 


18  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

and  it  is  to  be  desired  that  the  day  may  come  when 
they  will  be  no  longer  classed  with  harmless  mounte- 
banks, but  with  dangerous  criminals. 

People,  curious  in  advertisements,  have  often  read 
the  "Astrological"  announcements  of  the  news- 
papers, and  have  turned  up  their  critical  noses  at  the 
ungrammatical  style  thereof,  and  indulged  the  while 
in  a  sort  of  innocent  wonder  as  to  whether  these 
transparent  nets  ever  catch  any  gulls.  These  matter- 
of-fact  individuals  have  no  doubt  often  queried  in  a 
vague,  purposeless  way,  if  there  really  can  be  in 
enlightened  New  York  any  considerable  number  of 
persons  who  have  faith  in  charms  and  love-powders, 
and  who  put  their  trust  in  the  prophetic  infallibility 
.of  a  pack  of  greasy  playing-cards.  It  may  open  the 
eyes  of  these  innocent  querists  to  the  popularity  of 
modern  witchcraft  to  learn  that  the  nineteen  she-pro- 
phets who  advertise  in  the  daily  journals  of  this  city  are 
visited  every  week  by  an  average  of  sixteen  hundred 
people,  or  at  the  rate  of  more  than  a  dozen  customers 
a  day  for  each  one ;  and  of  this  immense  number 


Explanatory  Chapter.  19 

probably  two-thirds  place  implicit  confidence  in  the 
miserable  stuff  they  hear  and  pay  for. 

It  is  also  true  that  although  a  part  of  these  visitors 
are  ignorant  servants,  unfortunate  girls  of  the  town, 
or  uneducated  overgrown  boys,  still  there  are  among 
them  not  a  few  men  engaged  in  respectable  and 
influential  professions,  and  many  merchants  of  good 
credit  and  repute,  who  periodically  consult  these 
women,  and  are  actually  governed  by  their  advice  in 
business  affairs  of  great  moment. 

Carriages,  attended  by  liveried  servants,  not  unfre- 
quently  stop  at  the  nearest  respectable  corner  adjoin- 
ing the  abode  of  a  notorious  Fortune-Teller,  while 
some  richly-dressed  but  closely-veiled  woman  stealth- 
ily glides  into  the  habitation  of  the  "Witch.  Many 
ladies  of  wealth  and  social  position,  led  by  curiosity, 
or  other  motives,  enter  these  places  for  the  purpose 
of  hearing  their  "fortunes  told."  When  these  ladies 
are  informed  of  the  true  character  of  the  houses  they 
have  thus  entered,  and  the  real  business  of  many  of 
these  women  whose  fortune-telling  is  but  a  screen  to 


OF  THE 


UNIVERSITY 


20  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

intercept  the  public  gaze  from  it,  it  is  not  likely  that 
any  one  of  them  will  ever  compromise  her  reputation 
by  another  visit. 

People  who  do  not  know  anything  about  the  sub- 
ject will  perhaps  be  surprised  to  hear  that  most  of 
these  humbug  sorceresses  are  now,  or  have  been  in 
more  youthful  and  attractive  days,  women  of  the 
town,  and  that  several  of  their  present  dens  are  vile 
assignation  houses ;  and  that  a  number  of  them  are 
professed  abortionists,  who  do  as  much  perhaps  in 
the  way  of  child-murder  as  others  whose  names  have 
been  more  prominently  before  the  world ;  and  they 
will  be  astonished  to  learn  that  these  chaste  sibyls 
have  an  understood  partnership  with  the  keepers  of 
houses  of  prostitution,  and  that  the  opportunities  for 
a  lucrative  playing  into  each  other's  hands  are  con- 
stantly occurring. 

The  most  terrible  truth  connected  with  this  whole 
subject  is  the  fact  that  the  greater  number  of  these 
female  fortune-tellers  are  but  doing  their  allotted  part 
in  a  scheme  by  which,  in  this  city,  the  wholesale 


Explanatory  Chapter.  21 

seduction  of  ignorant,  simple-hearted  girls,  in  the 
lower  walks  of  life,  has  been  thoroughly  systematized. 
The  fortune-teller  is  the  only  one  of  the  organization 
whose  operations  may  be  known  to  the  public ;  the 
other  workers — the  masculine  go-betweens  who  lead 
the  victims  over  the  space  intervening  between  her 
house  and  those  of  deeper  shame — are  kept  out  of 
sight  and  are  unheard  of.  There  is  a  straight  path 
between  these  two  points  which  is  travelled  every 
year  by  hundreds  of  betrayed  young  girls,  who,  but 
for  the  superstitious  snares  of  the  one,  would  never 
know  the  horrible  realities  of  the  other.  The  exact 
mode  of  proceeding  adopted  by  these  conspirators 
against  virtue,  the  details  of  their  plans,  the  various 
stratagems  by  which  their  victims  are  snared  and  led 
on  to  certain  ruin,  are  not  fit  subjects  for  the  present 
chapter ;  but  any  individual  who  is  disposed  to  pro- 
secute the  inquiry  for  himself  will  find  in  the  various 
police  records  much  matter  for  his  serious  cogitation, 
and  may  there  discover  the  exact  direction  in  which 
to  continue  his  investigations  with  the  certainty  of 


22  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

demonstrating  these  facts  to  his  perfect  satisfac- 
tion. 

A  few  months  ago,  at  the  suggestion  of  the  editor 
of  one  of  the  leading  daily  newspapers  of  America, 
a  series  of  articles  was  written  about  the  fortune- 
tellers of  New  York  city,  and  these  articles  were  in  due 
time  published  in  that  journal,  and  attracted  no  little 
attention  from  its  readers.  These  chapters,  with  such 
alterations  as  were  requisite,  and  with  many  addi- 
tions, form  the  bulk  of  this  present  volume. 

The  work  has  been  conscientiously  done.  Every 
one  of  the  fortune-tellers  described  herein  was  per- 
sonally visited  by  the  "  Individual,"  and  the  predic- 
tions were  carefully  noted  down  at  the  time,  word  for 
word ;  the  descriptions  of  the  necromantic  ladies  and 
their  surroundings  are  accurate,  and  can  be  corrobo- 
rated by  the  hundreds  who  have  gone  over  the  same 
ground  before  and  since.  They  were  treated  in  the 
most  fair  and  frank  manner ;  the  same  data  as  to  time 
and  date  of  birth,  age,  nationality,  etc.,  were  given  in 
all  cases,  and  the  same  questions  were  put  to  all,  so 


Explanatory  Chapter.  23 

that  the  absurd  differences  in  their  statements  and  pre- 
dictions result  from  the  unmitigated  humbug  of  their 
pretended  art,  and  from  no  misinformation  or  mis- 
representation on  the  part  of  the  seeker  after  mystic 
knowledge. 

This  latter  person  was  perfectly  unknown  to  the 
worthy  ladies  of  the  black  art  profession ;  he  was  to 
them  simply  an  individual,  one  of  the  many-headed 
public,  a  cash  customer,  who  paid  liberally  for  all  he 
required,  and  who,  by  reason  of  the  dollars  he  dis- 
bursed, was  entitled  to  the  very  best  witchcraft  in  the 
market. 

And  he  got  it. 

He  undertook  a  few  short  journeys  in  search  of  the 
marvellous ;  he  went  on  a  couple  of  dozen  voyages 
of  discovery  without  going  out  of  sight  of  home ;  he 
penetrated  to  the  out-of-the-way  regions,  where  the 
two-and-sixpenny  witches  of  our  own  time  grow.  He 
got  his  fill  of  the  cheap  prophecy  of  the  day,  and  pro- 
cured of  the  oracles  in  person  their  oracularest  say- 
ings, at  the  very  highest  market  price.  For  the  busi- 


24  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

ness-like  seers  of  this  age  are  easily  moved  to  prophesy 
by  the  sight  of  current  moneys  of  the  land,  no  matter 
who  presents  the  same ;  whereas  the  oracles  of  the 
olden  time  dealt  only  with  kings  and  princes,  and 
nothing  less  than  the  affairs  of  an  entire  nation,  or  a 
whole  territory,  served  to  get  their  slow  prophetic 
apparatus  into  working  trim.  To  the  necromancers 
of  early  days  the  anxieties  of  private  individuals  were 
as  naught,  and  from  the  shekels  of  humble  life  they 
turned  them  contemptuously  away. 

It  is  probably  a  thorough  conviction  of  the  neces- 
sity of  eating  and  drinking,  and  a  constant  contem- 
plation from  a  Penitentiary  point  of  view  of  the  con- 
sequences of  so  doing  without  paying  therefor,  that 
induces  our  modern  witches  to  charge  a  specific  sum 
for  the  exercise  of  their  art,  and  to  demand  the 
inevitable  dollar  in  advance. 

Whatever  there  is  of  Sorcery,  Astrology,  Necro- 
mancy, Prophecy,  Fortune-telling,  and  the  Black  Art 
generally,  practised  at  this  time  by  the  professional 
Witches  of  New  York,  is  here  honestly  set  down. 


Explanatory  Chapter.  25 

Should  any  other  individual  become  particularly 
interested  in  the  subject,  and  desire  to  go  back  of  the 
present  record  and  make  his  exploration  personally 
among  the  Fortune-tellers,  he  will  find  their  present 
addresses  in  the  newspapers  of  the  day,  and  can  easily 
verify  what  is  herein  written. 

With  these  remarks  as  to  the  intention  of  this  book, 
the  reader  is  referred  by  the  Cash  Customer  to  the 
succeeding  chapters  for  further  information.  And  the 
public  will  find  in  the  advertisements,  appended  to  the 
name  and  number  of  each  mysteriously  gifted  lady,  the 
pleasing  assurance  that  she  will  be  happy  to  see,  not 
only  the  Cash  Customer  of  the  present  writing,  but 
also  any  and  all  other  customers,  equally  cash,  who 
are  willing  to  pay  the  customary  cash  tribute. 


CHAPTER  II. 


Is  devoted  to  the  glorification  of  Madame  Prewster  of  No. 

373  Bowery,  the  Pioneer  Witch  of  New  York. 

The  "  Individual"  also  herein  bears  his 

testimony  that  she  is  oily  and 

waterproof. 


CHAPTER  II. 

MADAME  PREWSTER,  No.  373  BOWERY. 

THIS  woman  is  one  of  the  most  dangerous  of  all 
those  in  the  city  who  are  engaged  in  the  swindling 
trade  of  Fortune  Telling,  and  has  been  professionally 
known  to  the  police  and  the  public  of  New  York  for 
about  fourteen  years.  The  amount  of  evil  she  has 
accomplished  in  that  time  is  incalculable,  for  she  has 
been  by  no  means  idle,  nor  has  she  confined  her  atten- 
tion even  to  what  mischief  she  could  work  by  the 
exercise  of  her  pretended  magic,  but  if  the  authenticity 
of  the  records  may  be  relied  on,  she  has  borne  a 
principal  part  in  other  illicit  transactions  of  a  much 
more  criminal  nature.  She  has  been  engaged  in  the 
"  Witch"  business  in  this  city  for  more  years  than 
has  any  other  one  whose  name  is  now  advertised 
to  the  public. 


30  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

If  the  history  of  her  past  life  could  be  published, 
it  would  astound  even  this  community,  which  is  not 
wont  to  be  startled  out  of  its  propriety  by  criminal 
development,  for  if  justice  were  done,  Madame  Prew- 
ster  would  be  at  this  time  serving  the  State  in  the 
Penitentiary  for  her  past  misdoings ;  but,  in  some  of 
these  affairs  of  hers,  men  of  so  much  respectability 
and  political  influence  have  been  implicated,  that, 
having  sure  reliance  on  their  counsel  and  assistance, 
the  Madame  may  be  regarded  as  secure  from  punish- 
ment, even  should  any  of  her  many  victims  choose 
to  bring  her  into  court. 

The  quality  of  her  Witchcraft,  by  which  she  osten- 
sibly lives,  and  the  amount  of  faith  to  be  reposed 
in  her  mystic  predictions,  may  be  seen  from  the 
history  of  a  visit  to  her  domicile,  which  is  hereunto 
appended  in  the  very  words  of  the  "Individual"  who 
made  it. 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     31 

The  "  Cash  Customer"  makes  his  first  Voyage  in  a  Shower, 
but  encounters  an  Oily  and  Waterproof  Witch  at  the 
end  of  his  Journey. 

It  rained,  and  it  meant  to  rain,  and  it  set  about  it 
with  a  will. 

It  was  as  if  some  "Union  Thunderstorm  Com- 
pany" was  just  then  paying  its  consolidated  atten- 
tion to  the  city  and  county  of  New  York;  or, 
as  if  some  enterprising  Yankee  of  hydraulic  tenden- 
cies, had  contracted  for  a  second  deluge  and  was 
hurrying  up  the  job  to  get  his  money ;  or,  as  if  the 
clouds  were  working  by  the  job ;  or,  as  if  the  earth 
was  receiving  its  rations  of  rain  for  the  year  in  a 
solid  lump ;  or,  as  if  the  world  had  made  a  half-turn, 
leaving  in  the  clouds  the  ocean  and  rivers,  and 
those  auxiliaries  to  navigation  were  scampering  back 
1  to  their  beds  as  fast  as  possible ;  or,  as  if  there  had 
been  a  scrub-race  to  the  earth  between  a  score  or 
more  full-grown  rain  storms,  and  they  were  all  com- 
ing in  together,  neck-and-neck,  at  full  speed. 


32  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

Despite  the  juiciness  of  these  opening  sentences, 
the  "Individual"  does  not  propose  to  accompany 
the  account  of  his  heroical  setting-forth  on  his  first 
witch-journey  with  any  inventory  of  natural  scenery 
and  phenomena,  or  with  any  interesting  remarks  on 
the  wind  and  weather.  Those  who  have  a  taste  for 
that  sort  of  thing  will  find  in  a  modern  circulating 
library,  elaborate  accounts  of  enough  "  dew-spangled 
grass"  to  make  hay  for  an  army  of  Nebuchadnezzars 
and  a  hundred  troops  of  horse-^-of  "bright-eyed 
daisies "  and  "  modest  violets,"  enough  to  fence  all 
creation  with  a  parti-colored  hedge — of  "  early  larks  " 
and  "sweet-singing  nightingales,"  enough  to  make 
musical  pot-pies  and  harmonious  stews  for  twenty 
generations  of  Heliogabaluses  ;  to  say  nothing  of  the 
amount  of  twaddle  we  find  in  American  sensation 
books  about  "hawthorn  hedges"  and  "  heather  bells," 
and  similar  transatlantic  luxuries  that  don't  grow  in 
America,  and  never  did. 

And  then  the  sunrises  we're  treated  to,  and  the 
sunsets  we're  crammed  with,  and  the  "  golden  clouds," 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     33 

the  "grand  old  woods,"  the  "distant  dim  blue  moun- 
tains," the  "crystal  lakes,"  the  "limpid  purling 
brooks,"  the  "green-carpeted  meadows,"  and  the 
whole  similar  lot  of  affected  bosh,  is  enough  to  shake 
the  faith  of  a  practical  man  in  nature  as  a  natural 
institution,  and  to  make  him  vote  her  an  artificial 
humbug. 

So  the  voyager  in  pursuit  of  the  marvellous, 
declines  to  state  how  high  the  thermometer  rose  or 
fell  in  the  sun  or  in  the  shade,  or  whether  the  wind 
was  east-by-north,  or  sou'-sou'-west  by  a  little  sou'. 

The  "  dew  on  the  grass  "  was  not  shining,  for  there 
was  in  his  vicinity  no  dew  and  no  grass,  nor  anything 
resembling  those  rural  luxuries.  Nor  was  it  by  any 
means  at  "  early  dawn ;"  on  the  contrary,  if  there  be 
such  a  commodity  in  a  city  as  "dawn,"  either  early 
or  late,  that  article  had  been  all  disposed  of  several 
"  hours  in  advance  of  the  period  at  which  this  chapter 
begins. 

But  at  midday  he  set  forth  alone  to  visit  that  pro- 
phetess of  renown,  Madame  Prewster.  He  was  fully 

2* 


34  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

prepared  to  encounter  whatever  of  the  diabolical 
machinery  of  the  black  art  might  be  put  in  operation 
to  appal  his  unaccustomed  soul. 

But  as  he  set  forth  from  the  respectable  domicile 
where  he  takes  his  nightly  roost,  it  rained,  as  afore- 
mentioned. The  driving  drops  had  nearly  drowned 
the  sunshine,  and  through  the  sickly  light  that  still 
survived,  everything  looked  dim  and  spectral.  Un- 
earthly cars,  drawn  by  ghostly  horses,  glided  swiftly 
through  the  mist,  the  intangible  apparitions  which 
occupied  the  drivers'  usual  stands  hailing  passengers 
with  hollow  voices,  and  proffering,  with  impish  finger 
and  goblin  wink,  silent  invitations  to  ride.  Fantastic 
dogs  sneaked  out  of  sight  round  distant  corners,  or 
skulked  miserably  under  phantom  carts  for  an  imagi- 
nary shelter.  The  rain  enveloped  everything  with  a 
grey  veil,  making  all  look  unsubstantial  and  unreal ; 
the  human  unfortunates  who  were  out  in  the  storm 
appeared  cloudy  and  unsolid,  as  if  each  man  had  sent 
his  shadow  out  to  do  his  work  and  kept  his  substance 
safe  at  home. 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     35 

The  "Individual"  travelled  on  foot,  disdaining 
the  miserable  compromise  of  an  hour's  stew  in  a  steam- 
ing car,  or  a  prolonged  shower-bath  in  a  leaky  omni- 
bus. Being  of  burly  figure  and  determined  spirit,  he 
walked,  knowing  that  his  "too-solid  flesh"  would 
not  be  likely  "to  melt,  thaw,  and  resolve  itself  into 
a  dew,"  and  firmly  believing  that  he  was  not  born  to 
be  drowned. 

He  carried  no  umbrella,  preferring  to  stand  up  and 
fight  it  out  with  the  storm  face  to  face,  and  because  he 
detested  a  contemptible  sneaking  subterfuge  of  an 
umbrella,  pretending  to  keep  him  dry,  and  all  the 
time  surreptitiously  leaking  small  streams  down  the 
back  of  his  neck,  and  filling  his  pockets  with  indigo 
colored  puddles;  and  because,  also,  an  umbrella 
would  no  more  have  protected  a  man  against  that 
storm,  than  a  gun-cotton  overcoat  would  have  availed 
against  the  storm  of  fire  that  scorched  old  Sodom. 

He  placed  his  trust  in  a  huge  pair  of  water-proof 
boots,  and  a  felt  hat  that  shed  water  like  a  duck.  He 
thrust  his  arms  up  to  his  elbows  into  the  capacious 


36  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

pockets  of  his  coat,  drew  his  head  down  into  the 
turned-up  collar  of  that  said  garment,  like  a  boy- 
bothered  mud-turtle,  and  marched  on. 

"With  bowed  head,  set  teeth,  and  sturdy  step,  the 
cash  customer  tramped  along,  astonishing  the  few 
pedestrians  in  the  street  by  the  energy  and  emphasis 
of  his  remarks  in  cases  of  collision,  and  attracting 
people  to  the  windows  to  look  at  him  as  he  splashed 
his  way  up  the  street.  He  minded  them  no  more  than 
he  did  the  gentleman  in  the  moon,  but  drove  forward 
at  his  best  speed,  now  breaking  his  shins  over  a  dry- 
goods  box,  then  knocking  his  head  against  a  lamp- 
post ;  now  getting  a  great  punch  in  the  stomach  from 
an  unexpected  umbrella,  then  involuntarily  gauging 
the  depth  of  some  unseen  puddle,  and  then  getting 
out  of  soundings  altogether  in  a  muddy  inland  sea ; 
now  swept  almost  off  his  feet  by  a  sudden  torrent  of 
sufficient  power  to  run  a  saw-mill,  and  only  recover- 
ing himself  to  find  that  he  was  wrecked  on  the  curb- 
stone of  some  side  street  that  he  didn't  want  to  go  to. 
At  length,  after  a  host  of  mishaps,  including  some 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     37 

interesting  but  unpleasant  submarine  explorations  in 
an  unusually  large  mud-hole  into  which  he  fell  full- 
length,  he  arrived,  soaked  and  savage,  at  the  house  of 
Madame  Prewster. 

This  elderly  and  interesting  lady  has  long  been  an 
oily  pilgrim  in  this  vale  of  tears.  The  oldest  inha- 
bitant cannot  remember  the  exact  period  when  this 
truly  great  prophetess  became  a  fixture  in  Gotham, 
and  began  to  earn  her  bread  and  butter  by  fortune- 
telling  and  kindred  occupations.  Her  unctuous  coun- 
tenance and  pinguid  form  are  known  to  hundreds  on 
whose  visiting  lists  her  name  does  not  conspicuously 
appear,  and  to  whom,  in  the  way  of  business,  she  has 
made  revelations  which  would  astonish  the  unsuspect- 
ing and  unbelieving  world.  She  is  neither  exclusive 
nor  select  in  her  visitors.  Whoever  is  willing  to  pay 
the  price,  in  good  money — a  point  on  which  her  regu- 
lations are  stringent — may  have  the  benefit  of  her 
skill,  as  may  be  seen  by  her  advertisement : 

<;  CARD. — Madame  PREWSTER  returns  thanks  to  her  friends  and 


38  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

patrons,  and  begs  to  say  that,  after  the  thousands,  both  in  this 
city  and  Philadelphia,  who  have  consulted  her  with  entire  satis- 
faction, she  feels  confident  that  in  the  questions  of  astrology, 
love,  and  law  matters,  and  books  or  oracles,  as  relied  on  con- 
stantly by  Napoleon,  she  has  no  equal.  She  will  tell  the  name 
of  the  future  husband,  and  also  the  name  of  her  visitors.  No. 
373  Bowery,  between  Fourth  and  Fifth  streets." 

The  undaunted  seeker  after  mystic  lore  rang  a  peal 
on  the  astonished  door-bell  that  created  an  instanta- 
neous confusion  of  the  startled  inmates.  There  was  a 
good  deal  of  hustling  about,  and  running  hither,  thi- 
ther, and  to  the  other  place,  before  any  one  appeared ; 
meantime,  the  dainty  fingers  of  the  damp  customer 
performed  other  little  solos  on  the  daubed  and  sticky 
bell-pull, — and  he  also  amused  himself  with  inspection 
of,  and  comments  on,  the  German-silver  plate  on  the 
narrow  panel,  which  bore  the  name  of  the  illustrious 
female  who  occupied  these  domains. 

At  last  the  door  was  opened  by  a  greasy  girl, 
and  the  visitor  was  admitted  to  the  hall,  where  he 
stood  for  a  minute,  like  a  fresh- water  merman,  "all 
dripping  from  the  recent  flood." 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     39 

The  juvenile  female  who  had  admitted  him  thus 
far,  evidently  took  him  for  a  disreputable  charac- 
ter, and  stood  prepared  to  prevent  depredations. 
She  planted  herself  firmly  before  him  in  the  narrow 
hall  in  an  attitude  of  self-defence,  and  squaring  off 
scientifically,  demanded  his  business.  Astrology  was 
mentioned,  whereupon  the  threatening  fists  were  low- 
ered, the  saucy  under-jaw  was  retracted,  and  the 
general  air  of  pugnacity  was  subdued  into  a  very 
suspicious  demeanor,  as  if  she  thought  he  hadn't  any 
money,  and  wanted  to  storm  the  castle  under  false 
pretences.  She  informed  him  that  before  matters 
went  any  further,  he  must  buy  tickets,  which  she 
was  prepared  to  furnish,  on  receipt  of  a  dollar  and  a 
half;  he  paid  the  money,  which  transaction  seemed 
to  raise  him  in  her  estimation  to  the  level  of  a  man 
who  might  safely  be  trusted  where  there  was  nothing 
he  could  steal.  One  fist  she  still  kept  loaded,  ready 
to  instantly  repel  any  attack  which  might  be  sud- 
denly made  by  her  designing  enemy,  the  other  hand 
cautiously  departed  petticoatward,  and  after  groping 


4O  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

• 

about  some  time  in  a  concealed  pocket,  produced 
from  the  mysterious  depth  a  card,  too  dirty  for 
description,  on  which  these  words  were  dimly 
visible : 


-S         MADAME  PREWSTER 
<o 

411  GRAND  STREET. 


The  belligerent  girl  then  led  the  way  through  a 
narrow  hall,  up  two  flights  of  stairs  into  a  cold  room, 
where  she  desired  her  visitor  to  be  seated.  She  then 
carefully  locked  one  or  two  doors  leading  into  adjoin- 
ing rooms,  put  the  keys  in  her  pocket,  and  departed. 
Before  her  exit  she  made  a  sly  demonstration  with 
her  fists  and  feet,  as  if  she  was  disposed  to  break 
the  truce,  commence  hostilities,  and  punch  his  unpro- 
tected head,  without  regard  to  the  laws  of  honorable 
warfare.  She  departed,  however,  at  last,  without  vio- 
lence, though  the  voyager  could  hear  her  pause  on 
each  landing,  probably  debating  whether  it  wasn't 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     41 

best  after  all  to  go  back  and  thrash  him  before  the 
opportunity  was  lost  for  ever. 

This  grand  reception-room  was  an  apartment  about 
six  feet  by  eight;  it  was  uncarpeted,  and  was  lux- 
uriously furnished  with  six  wooden  chairs,  one  stove, 
with  no  spark  of  fire,  one  feeble  table,  one  spittoon, 
and  two  coal-scuttles. 

The  view  from  the  window  was  picturesque  to 
a  degree,  being  made  up  of  cats,  clothes-lines,  chim- 
neys, and  crockery,  and  occasionally,  when  the  storm 
lifted,  a  low  roof  near  by  suggested  stables.  The 
odor  which  filled  the  air  had  at  least  the  merit  of 
being  powerful,  and  those  to  whose  noses  it  was 
grateful,  could  not  complain  that  they  did  not  get 
enough  of  it.  Description  must  necessarily  fall  far 
short  of  the  reality,  but  if  the  reader  will  endeavor  to 
imagine  a  couple  of  oil-mills,  a  Peck-slip  ferry-boat,  a 
soap-and-candle  manufactory,  and  three  or  four  bone- 
boiling  establishments  being  simmered  together  over 
a  slow  fire  in  his  immediate  vicinity,  he  may  possibly 
arrive  at  a  faint  and  distant  notion  of  the  greasy  fra- 


42  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

grance  in  which  the  ahode  of  Madame  Prewster  is 
immersed. 

For  an  hour  and  a  half  by  the  watch  of  the  Cash 
Customer  (which  being  a  cheap  article,  and  being  alike 
insensible  to  the  voice  of  reason  and  the  persuasions 
of  the  watchmaker,  would  take  its  own  time  to  do  its 
work,  and  the  long  hands  of  which  generally  suc- 
ceeded in  getting  once  round  the  dial  in  about  eighty 
minutes)  was  .this  too  damp  individual  incarcerated 
in  the  room  by  the  order  of  the  implacable  Madame 
Prewster. 

He  would  long  before  the  end  of  that  time  have 
forfeited  his  dollar  and  a  half  and  beaten  an  inglorious 
retreat,  but  that  he  feared  an  ambuscade  and  a 
pitching-into  at  the  fair  hands  of  the  warlike  servant. 

Finally,  this  last-named  individual  came  to  the 
rescue,  and  conducted  him  by  a  circuitous  route,  and 
with  half-suppressed  demonstrations  of  animosity,  to 
the  basement.  This  room  was  evidently  the  kitchen, 
and  was  fitted  up  with  the  customary  iron  and 
brazen  apparatus. 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     43 

A  feeble  child,  just  old  enough  to  run  alone,  had 
constructed  a  child's  paradise  in  the  lee  of  the  cook- 
ing-stove, and  was  seated  on  a  dinner-pot,  with  one 
foot  in  a  saucepan;  it  had  been  playing  on  the 
wash-boiler  like  a  drum,  but  was  now  engaged  in 
decorating  some  loaves  of  unbaked  bread  with  bits 
of  charcoal  and  splinters  from  the  broom. 

The  fighting  servant  retreated  to  the  far  end  of  the 
apartment,  where  she  began  to  wash  dishes  with  vin- 
dictive earnestness,  stopping  at  short  intervals  to  wave 
her  dishcloth  savagely  as  a  challenge  to  instant  single 
combat.  There  was  nothing  visible  that  savored  of 
astrology  or  magic,  unless  some  tin  candlesticks  with 
battered  rims  could  be  cabalistically  construed. 

Madame  Prewster,  the  renowned,  sat  majestically 
in  a  Windsor  rocking-chair,  extra  size,  with  a  large 
pillow  comfortably  tucked  in  behind  her  illustrious 
and  rheumatic  back.  Her  prophetic  feet  rested  on  a 
wooden  stool;  her  oracular  neck  was  bound  with  a 
bright-colored  shawl;  her  necromantic  locomotive 
apparatus  was  incased  in  a  great  number  of  predic- 


44  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

tive  petticoats,  and  her  whole  aspect  was  portentous. 
She  is  a  woman-  who  may  be  of  any  age  from  45  to 
120,  for  her  face  is  so  oily  that  wrinkles  won't  stay 
in  it ;  they  slip  out  and  leave  no  trace.  She  is  an 
unctuous  woman,  with  plenty  of  material  in  her — 
enough,  in  fact,  for  two  or  three.  She  is  adipose 
to  a  degree  that  makes  her  circumference  problema- 
tical, and  her  weight  a  mere  matter  of  conjecture. 
Moreover,  one  instantly  feels  that  she  is  thoroughly 
water-proof,  and  is  certain  that  if  she  could  be 
induced  to  shed  tears,  she  would  weep  lard  oil. 

Grim,  grizzled,  and  stony-eyed,  is  this  juicy  old 
Sibyl ;  and  she  glared  fearfully  on  the  hero  with  her 
fishy  optics,  until  he  wished  he  hadn't  done  anything. 

She  was  evidently  just  out  of  bed,  although  it  was 
long  past  noon,  and  when  she  yawned,  which  she  did 
seven  times  a  minute  on  a  low  average,  the  effect  was 
gloomy  and  cavernous,  and  the  timid  delegate  in 
search  of  the  mysterious  trembled  in  his  boots. 

At  last,  he  with  uncovered  head  and  timid 
demeanor  presented  his  card  entitling  him  to  twelve 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     45 

shillings'  worth  of  witchcraft,  and  made  an  humble 
request  to  have  it  honored.  He  had  previously, 
while  pretending  to  warm  himself  at  the  stove,  been 
occupied  in  making  horrible  grimaces  at  the  baby, 
and  then  sketching  it  in  his  hat  as  it  disfigured  its 
own  face  by  frantic  screams;  and  he  also  took  a 
quiet  revenge  on  the  pugnacious  servant  by  making 
a  picture  of  her  in  a  fighting  attitude,  with  one  eye 
bunged  and  her  jaw  knocked  round  to  her  left  ear. 

When  the  ponderous  Witch  had  got  all  ready  for 
business,  and  had  taken  a  very  long  greasy  stare  at 
her  customer,  as  if  she  was  making  up  her  mind 
what  sort  of  a  customer  on  the  whole  he  might  be, 
she  determined  to  begin  her  mighty  magic.  So  she 
took  up  the  cards,  which  were  almost  as  greasy  as 
she  herself,  and  prepared  for  business,  previously 
giving  one  most  tremendous  yawn,  which  opened 
her  sacred  jaws  so  wide  that  only  a  very  narrow 
isthmus  of  hair  behind  her  ears  connected  the  top 
of  her  respected  head  with  the  back  of  her  venerated 
neck. 


46  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

She  then  presented  the  cards  for  her  customer  to 
cut,  and  when  he  had  accomplished  that  feat,  which 
he  did  in  some  perturbation,  she  ran  them  carelessly 
over  between  her  fingers,  and  began  to  speak  very 
slowly,  and  without  much  thought  of  what  she  was 
about,  as  if  it  was  a  lesson  she  had  learned  by  heart. 

Each  word  slipped  smoothly  out  from  her  fat  lips 
as  if  it  had  been  anointed  with  some  patent  lubrica- 
tor, and  her  speech  was  as  follows : — 

"You  have  seen  much  trouble,  some  of  it  in  busi- 
ness, and  some  of  it  in  love,  but  there  are  brighter 
days  in  store  for  you  before  long — you  face  up  a  let- 
ter— you  face  up  love — you  face  up  marriage — you 
face  up  a  light-haired  woman,  with  dark  eyes,  you 
think  a  great  deal  of  her,  and  she  thinks  a  great  deal 
of  you ;  but  then  she  faces  up  a  dark  complexioned 
man,  which  is  bad  for  you — you  must  take  care  and 
look  out  for  him,  for  he  is  trying  to  injure  you — she 
likes  you  the  best,  but  you  must  look  out  for  the 
man — you  face  up  better  luck  in  business,  you  face  a 
change  in  your  business,  but  be  careful,  or  it  will  not 


I    UNIV 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     47 

bring  you  much  money — you  do  not  face  up  a  great 
deal  of  money." 

(Here  followed  a  huge  yawn  which  again  nearly 
left  the  top  of  her  head  an  island.)     Then  she  re 
sumed,  "  If  you  will  tell  me  the  number  of  letters  in 
the  lady's  name,  I  will  tell  you  what  her  name  is." 

This  demand  was  unexpected,  but  her  cool  and 
collected  customer  replied  at  random,  "  Four."  The 
she-Falstaff  then  referred  to  a  book  wherein  was 
written  a  long  list  of  names,  of  varying  lengths  from 
one  syllable  to  six,  and  selecting  the  names  with  four 
letters,  began  to  ask. 

"Is  it  Emma?"  "No."  "Anna?"  "No."  "Ella?" 
"No?"  "Jane?"  "No."  "Etta?"  "No."  "Lucy?" 
"No."  "Cora?"  "No."  At  last,  finding  that  she 
would  run  through  all  the  four-letter  names  in  the 
language,  and  that  he  must  eventually  say  some- 
thing, he  agreed  to  let  his  "true  love's"  name  be 
Mary.  Then  she  continued  her  remarks :  "  You  face 
up  Mary,  you  love  Mary ;  Mary  is  a  good  girl.  You 
will  marry  Mary  at  last ;  but  Mary  is  not  now  here 


48  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

—Mary  is  far  away ;  but  do  not  fear,  for  you  shall 
have  Mary." 

Then  she  proposed  to  tell  the  name  of  our  reporter 
in  the  same  mysterious  manner,  and  on  being  told 
that  it  contains  eight  letters,  the  first  of  which  is  "M," 
she  turned  to  her  register  and  again  began  to  read. 
It  so  happens  that  the  proper  names  answering  to  the 
description  are  very  few,  and  the  right  one  did  not 
happen  to  be  on  her  list;  so  in  a  short  time  the 
greasy  prophetess  became  confused,  and  slipped  off 
the  track  entirely,  and  after  asking  about  two  hun- 
dred names  of  various  dimensions,  from  Mark  to 
Melchisedek,  she  gave  it  up  in  despair  and  glared 
on  her  twelve-shilling  patron  as  if  she  thought  he  was 
trifling  with  her,  and  she  would  like  to  eat  him  up 
alive  for  his  presumption. 

Then  she  suddenly  changed  her  mode  of  operation 
and  made  the  fearful  remark :  "  ISTow  you  may  wish 
three  wishes,  and  I  will  tell  whether  you  will  get 
them  or  not." 

She  then  laid  out  the  cards  into  three  piles,  and 


Madame  Prewster,  No.  373  Bowery.     49 

her  visitor  stated  his  wishes  aloud,  and  received  the 
gratifying  information  in  three  instalments,  that  he 
would  live  to  be  rich,  to  marry  the  light-haired 
maiden,  and  to  effectually  smash  the  dark-complex- 
ioned man. 

Then  she  said :  "  You  may  now  wish  one  wish  in 
secret,  and  I  will  tell  you  whether  you  will  get  it." 
Our  avaricious  hero  instantly  wished  for  an  enor- 
mous amount  of  ready  money,  which  she  kindly 
promised,  but  which  he  has  not  yet  seen  the  color  of. 

He  asked  about  his  prospective  wives  and  children, 
with  unsatisfactory  results.  One  wife  and  four  chil- 
dren was,  she  said,  the  outside  limit.  At  this  juncture 
she  began  to  wriggle  uneasily  in  her  chair,  and  her 
considerate  patron  respected  her  "rheumatics"  and 
took  his  leave.  This  conference,  although  the  re- 
sults may  be  read  by  a  glib-tongued  person  in  five 
minutes,  occupied  more  than  three-quarters  of  an 
hour — Madame  Prewster's  diction  being  slow  and 
ponderous  in  proportion  to  her  size. 

He  now  prepared  to  depart,  and  with  a  parting 


50  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

contortion  of  his  countenance,  of  terrible  malignity, 
at  the  unfortunate  baby,  which  caused  that  weird  brat 
to  fling  itself  flat  on  its  back  and  scream  in  agony  of 
fear,  he  informed  the  Madame  with  mock  deference 
that  he  would  not  wait  any  longer.  He  was  then 
attended  to  the  door  by  the  bellicose  maiden,  who 
seemed  to  have  fathomed  his  deep  dealings  with  the 
infuriate  infant,  and  to  be  desirous  of  giving  him 
bloody  battle  in  the  hall,  but  as  he  had  remarked  that 
she  had  a  rolling-pin  hidden  under  her  apron,  and 
as  he  was  somewhat  awed  by  the  sanguinary  look  of 
her  dish-cloth,  he  choked  down  his  blood-thirstiness 
and  ingloriously  retreated. 


CHAPTER    III. 


Wherein  are  related  divers  strange  things  of  Madame  Bruce, 

the   "  Mysterious  Veiled  Lady,"  of  No. 

513   Broome  Street. 


CHAPTER    III. 

MADAME  BRUCE,   "THE  MYSTERIOUS   VEILED 
LADY,"    NO.    513    BROOME  STREET. 

THE  woman  who  assumes  the  title  of  "  The  Myste- 
rious Yelled  Lady,"  is  much  younger  in  the  Black 
Art  trade  than  Madame  Prewster,  and  has  only  been 
publicly  known  as  a  "Fortune-Teller"  for  about  six 
years.  The  mysterious  veil  is  assumed  partly  for  the 
very  mystery's  sake,  and  partly  to  hide  a  countenance 
which  some  of  her  visitors  might  desire  to  identify  on 
after  occasions.  She  confines  herself  more  exclusively 
to  telling  fortunes  than  do  many  of  the  others,  and 
has  never  yet  made  her  appearance  in  a  Police  Court 
to  answer  to  an  accusation  of  a  grave  crime.  She 
has  many  customers,  and  might  have  a  respectable 
account  at  the  bank  if  she  were  disposed  to  commit 


54  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

her  moneys  to  the  care  of  those  careful  institu- 
tions. 

It  may  be  mentioned  here,  however,  as  a  curious 
fact,  that  although  all  the  "  witches  "  profess  to  be  able 
to  "tell  lucky  numbers,"  and  will  at  any  time  give  a 
paying  customer  the  exact  figures  which  they  are  wil- 
ling to  prophesy  will  draw  the  capital  prize  in  any 
given  lottery,  their  skill  invariably  fails  them  when 
they  undertake  to  do  anything  in  the  wheel-of-for- 
tune  way  on  their  own  individual  behalf.  No  one  of 
the  professional  fortune-tellers  was  ever  known  to 
draw  a  rich  prize  in  a  lottery,  or  to  make  a  particu- 
larly lucky  "  hit "  on  a  policy  number,  notwithstand- 
ing the  fact  that  most  of  them  make  large  investments 
in  those  uncertain  financial  speculations.  Madame 
Bruce  is  no  exception  to  this  general  rule,  and  the 
propinquity  of  the  "  lottery  agency  "  and  the  "  policy- 
shop,"  just  round  the  corner,  must  be  accepted  in 
explanation  of  the  fact  that  this  gifted  lady  has  no 
balance  in  her  favor  at  the  banker's. 

The  quality  of  her  magic  and  other  interesting  facts 


Madame  Bruce.  55 

about  her  are  best  set  forth  in  the  words  of  the 
anxious  seeker  after  hidden  lore,  who  paid  her  a  visit 
one  pleasant  afternoon  in  August. 

The  "  Individual"  visits  Madame  Bruce  and  has  a  Confer- 
ence with  that  Mysterious  Veiled  Personage. 

A  man  of  strong  nerves  can  recover  from  the 
effects  of  a  professional  interview  with  the  ponderous 
Prewster  in  about  a  week ;  delicately  organized  per- 
sons, particularly  susceptible  to  supernatural  influ- 
ences, might  be  so  overpowered  by  the  manifestations 
oT  her  cabalistic  lore  as  to  affect  their  appetites  for  a 
whole  lunar  month,  and  have  bad  dreams  till  the 
moon  changed ;  but  the  daring  traveller  of  this  vera- 
cious history  was  convalescent  in  ten  days.  It  is  true, 
that,  even  after  that  time,  he,  in  his  dreams,  would 
imagine  himself  engaged  in  protracted  single  combats 
with  the  heroine  of  the  rolling-pin,  and  once  or  twice 
awoke  in  an  agony  of  fear,  under  the  impression  that  he 
had  been  worsted  in  the  fight,  and  that  the  conquering 
fair  one  was  about  to  cook  him  in  a  steamer,  or  stew 


56  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

him  into  charity  soup,  and  season  him  strong  with  red 
pepper ;  or  broil  him  on  a  gridiron  and  serve  him  up 
on  toast  to  Madame  Prewster,  like  a  huge  woodcock. 
In  one  gastronomic  nightmare  of  a  dream  he  even 
fancied  that  the  triumphant  maiden  had  tied  him,  hand 
and  foot,  with  links  of  sausages,  then  tapped  his  head 
with  an  auger,  screwed  a  brass  faucet  into  his  help- 
less skull,  and  was  preparing  to  draw  off  his  brains  in 
small  quantities  to  suit  cannibalic  retail  customers. 

But  he  eventually  recovered  his  equanimity,  his 
nocturnal  visions  of  the  warlike  servant  became  less 
terrible,  and  he  gradually  ceased  to  think  of  her,  ex- 
cept with  a  dim  sort  of  half-way  remembrance,  as  of 
some  fearful  danger,  from  which  many  years  before 
he  had  been  miraculously  preserved. 

"When  he  had  reached  this  state  of  mind,  he  was 
ready  to  proceed  with  his  inquiries  into  the  mysteries 
of  the  cheap  and  nasty  necromancy  of  the  day,  and 
to  encounter  the  rest  of  the  fifty-cent  Sj^bils  with  an 
unperturbed  spirit.  Accordingly,  he  girded  up  his 
loins,  and  prepared  the  necessary  amount  of  one  dol- 


Madame  Bruce.  57 

lar  bills ;  for,  with  a  most  politic  and  necessary  care- 
fulness, he  always  made  his  own  change. 

[Note  of  caution  to  the  future  observer  of  these 
Modern  Witches:  Never  let  one  of  them  "break"  a 
large  bank-bill  for  you,  and  give  you  small  notes  in 
exchange,  lest  the  small  bills  be  much  more  badly 
broken  than  the  large  one.  Not  that  the  witches' 
money,  like  the  fairies'  gold,  will  be  likely  to  turn 
into  chips  and  pebbles  in  your  pocket,  but  all  these 
fortune-tellers  are  expert  passers  of  counterfeit  and 
broken  bank-notes  and  bogus  coin ;  and  they  never 
lose  an  opportunity  thus  to  victimize  a  customer.] 

Fortified  with  dinner,  dessert,  and  cigars,  the  cash 
customer  departed  on  his  voyage  of  discovery  in 
search  of  "  MADAME  BRUCE,  THE  MYSTERIOUS  VEILED 
LADY,"  who  carries  on  all  the  business  she  can  get  by 
the  subjoined  advertisement : 

"  ASTONISHING  TO  ALL. — Madame  BRUCE,  the  Mysterious  Yelled 
Lady,  can  be  consulted  on  all  events  of  life,  at  No.  513  Broome 
st.,  one  door  from  Thompson.  She  is  a  second-sight  seer,  and 
was  born  with  a  natural  gift." 


58  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

The  "  Individual,"  modestly  speaking  of  himself  in 
the  third  person,  admits  that,  being  then  a  single  man 
of  some  respectability,  he  was  at  that  very  period 
looking  out  for  a  profitable  partner  of  his  bosom,  sor- 
rows, joys,  and  expenses.  He  naturally  preferred  one 
who  could  do  something  towards  taking  a  share  of  the 
expensive  responsibility  of  a  family  off  his  hands, 
and  was  not  disposed  to  object  to  one  who  was  even 
afflicted  with  money ; — next  to  that  woman,  whom  he 
had  not  yet  discovered,  a  lady  with  a  "  natural  gift " 
for  money-making  was  evidently  the  most  eligible  of 
matrimonial  speculations.  Whether  he  really  cher- 
ished an  humble  hope  that  the  veil  of  Madame  Bruce 
might  be  of  semi-transparent  stuff,  and  that  she  might 
discover  and  be  smitten  by  his  manly.charms,  and  ask 
his  hand  in  marriage,  and  eventually  bear  him  away, 
a  blushing  husband,  to  the  altar,  or  whatever  might  be 
hastily  substituted  for  that  connubial  convenience, 
will  never  be  officially  known  to  the  world.  Certain 
it  is  that  he  expected  great  results  of  some  sort  to 
eventuate  from  his  visit  to  this  obnubilated  prophetess, 


Madame  Bruce.  59 

and  that  he  paid  extraordinary  attention  to  the  deco- 
ration of  the  external  homo,  and  to  the  administration 
of  encouraging  stimuli  to  the  inner  individual,  proba- 
bly with  a  view  to  submerge,  for  the  time,  his  charac- 
teristic bashfulness,  before  he  set  out  to  visit  the  fair 
inscrutable  of  Broome-street. 

The  nature  of  his  secret  cogitations,  as  he  walked 
along,  was  somewhat  as  follows,  though  he  himself 
has  never  before  revealed  the  same  to  mortal  man. 

He  was  of  course  uncertain  as  to  her  personal 
attractiveness  ;  owing  to  that  mysterious  veil  there 
was  a  doubt  as  to  her  surpassing  beauty.  At  any 
rate  he  did  not  regret  the  time  spent  on  his  toilet. 

Madame  Bruce  might  be  a  lady  of  the  most  trans- 
cendent loveliness,  or  she  might  possess  a  coun- 
tenance after  the  style  of  Mokanna,  the  Yeiled  Pro- 
phet ;  in  either  case,  a  clean  shirt  collar  and  a  little 
extra  polish  on  the  boots  would  be  a  touching  tribute 
of  respect  He  thought  over  the  stories  of  the  Ori- 
ental ladies,  so  charmingly  and  complexly  described 
in  the  "  Arabian  Nights'  Entertainments,"  and  in 


60  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

some  strange  way  he  connected  Madame  Bruce  with 
Eastern  associations ;  he  remembered  that  in  Asiatic 
countries  the  arts  of  enchantment  are  the  staple  of 
fashionable  female  education  ;  that  the  women  imbibe 
the  elements  of  magic  from  their  wet  nurses,  and  that 
their  power  of  charming  is  gradually  and  surely  de- 
veloped by  years  and  competent  instructors,  until 
they  are  able  to  go  forth  into  the  world,  and  raise  the 
devil  on  their  own  hook. 

In  this  case  the  veil  was  of  the  East,  Eastern ;  and 
what  was  more  probable  than  that  the  "  Mysterious 
Yeiled  Lady"  was  that  fascinating  Oriental  young 
woman  whose  attainments  in  magic  made  her  the  dire 
terror  of  her  enemies,  most  of  whom  she  changed  into 
pigs,  and  oxen,  and  monkeys,  and  other  useful  domes- 
tic animals ;  who  had  transformed  her  unruly  grand- 
father into  a  cat  of  the  species  called  Tom ;  had  meta- 
morphosed her  vicious  aunt  into  a  screech-owl,  and 
had  turned  an  ungentlemanly  second-cousin  into  a 
one-eyed  donkey. 

What  a  treasure,  thought  the  "  Individual,"  would 


Madame  Bruce-  61 

such  an  accomplished  wife  be  in  republican  America, 
— how  exceedingly  useful  in  the  case  of  her  hus- 
band's rivals  for  Custom-house  honors,  and  how  in- 
valuable when  creditors  become  clamorous.  "What  a 
perfect  treasure  would  a  wife  be  who  could  turn  a 
clamorous  butcher  into  spring  lamb,  and  his  brown 
apron  and  leather  breeches  into  the  indispensable  peas 
and  mint-sauce  to  eat  him  with  ;  who  could  make  the 
rascally  baker  instantly  become  a  green  parrot  with 
only  power  to  say,  "  Pretty  Polly  wants  a  cracker  ;" 
who  could  transform  the  dunning  tailor  into  a  greater 
goose  than  any  in  his  own  shop ;  who  could  go  to 
Stewart's,  buy  a  couple  of  thousands  of  dollars'  worth 
of  goods,  and  then  turn  the  clerks  into  cockroaches, 
and  scrunch  them  with  her  little  gaiter  if  they  inter- 
fered with  her  walking  off  with  the  plunder ;  or  who, 
in  the  event  of  a  scarcity  of  money,  could  invite  a 
select  party  of  fifty  or  sixty  friends  to  a  nice  little 
dinner,  and  then  change  the  whole  lot  into  lions, 
tigers,  giraffes,  elephants,  and  ostriches,  and  sell  the 
entire  batch  to  Yan  Amburgh  &  Co.  at  a  high  pre- 


62  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

mium,  as  a  freshly  imported  menagerie,  all  very  fat 
and  valuable. 

Then  he  came  down  from  this  rather  elevated  flight 
of  fancy,  and  filled  away  on  another  tack.  Before  he 
reached  the  house  he  had  fully  made  up  his  mind 
that  Madame  Bruce,  the  Mysterious  Veiled  Lady, 
must  be  a  stray  Oriental  Princess  in  reduced  circum- 
stances, cruelly  thrust  from  the  paternal  mansion  by 
the  infuriated  proprietor,  her  father,  and  compelled  to 
seek  her  fortune  in  a  strange  land.  He  had  never 
seen  a  princess,  and  he  resolved  to  treat  this  one  with 
all  respect  and  loyal  veneration ;  to  do  this,  if  possi- 
ble, without  compromising  his  conscience  as  a  repub- 
lican and  a  voter  in  the  tenth  ward, — but  to  do  it  at 
all  hazards. 

The  immense  fortune  which  would  undoubtedly  be 
hers  in  the  event  of  the  relenting  of  her  brutal  though 
opulent  father,  suggested  the  feasibility  of  a  future 
elopement,  and  a  legal  marriage,  according  to  the 
forms  of  any  country  that  she  preferred — he  couldn't 
bethink  him  of  a  Persian  justice  of  the  peace,  but  he 


Madame  Bruce.  63 

did  not  despair  of  being  able  to  manage  it  to  her 
entire  and  perfect  satisfaction. 

Her  undoubted  great  misfortunes  had  touched  his 
tender  heart.  He  would  see  this  suffering  Princess — 
he  would  tender  his  sympathy  and  offer  his  hand  and 
the  fortune  he  hoped  she  would  be  able  to  make  for 
him.  If  this  was  haughtily  declined  there  would 
still  remain  the  poor  privilege  of  buying  a  dose  of 
magic,  paying  the  price  in  current  money,  and  letting 
her  make  her  own  change. 

Having  matured  this  disinterested  resolve,  he  pro- 
ceeded calmly  on  his  journey,  wondering  as  he  walked 
along,  whether,  in  the  event  of  a  gracious  reception 
by  his  Princess,  it  would  be  more  courtly  and  correct 
to  kneel  on  both  knees,  or  to  make  an  Oriental  cushion 
of  his  overcoat  and  sit  down  cross-legged  on  the  floor. 

This  knotty  point  was  not  settled  to  his  entire 
satisfaction  when  he  reached  that  lovely  portion  of 
fairy-land  near  the  angle  of  Broome  and  Thompson 
streets.  The  Princess  had  taken  up  her  temporary 
residence  in  the  tenant-house  No.  513  Broome, 


64  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

which  elegant  mansion  affords  a  refuge  to  about 
seventeen  other  families,  mostly  Hibernian,  without 
very  high  pretensions  to  aristocracy. 

His  ring  at  the  door  of  the  noble  mansion  was 
answered  by  a  grizzly  woman  speaking  French  very 
badly  broken,  in  fact  irreparably  fractured.  This 
grizzly  Gaul  let  him  into  the  house,  heard  his  request 
to  see  Madame  Bruce,  and  then  she  called  to  a  shock- 
headed  boy  who  was  looking  over  the  bannisters,  to 
come  and  take  the  visitor  in  charge. 

Two  minutes'  observation  convinced  the  distin- 
guished caller  that  the  servants  of  the  Princess  were 
not  particular  in  the  matter  of  dirt. 

The  walls  were  stained,  discolored,  and  bedaubed, 
and  the  floor  had  a  sufficient  thickness  of  soil  for  a 
vegetable  garden ;  at  one  end  of  the  hall,  indeed,  an 
Irish  woman  was  on  her  knees,  making  experimental 
excavations,  possibly  with  a  view  to  planting  early 
lettuce  and  peppergrass. 

A  glance  at  the  shock-headed  boy  showed  a 
peculiarity  in  his  visual  organs;  his  eyes,  which 


Madame  Bruce.  65 

were  black  naturally,  had  evidently  suffered  in  some 
kind  of  a  fisticuff  demonstration,  and  one  of  them 
still  showed  the  marks ;  it  was  twice  black,  naturally 
and  artificially ;  it  had  a  dual  nigritude,  and  might, 
perhaps,  be  called  a  double-barrelled  black  eye.  This 
pleasant  young  man  conducted  his  visitor  to  the  top 
of  the  first  flight  of  stairs,  where  he  said,  "  Please 
stop  here  a  minute,"  and  disappeared  into  the  Prin- 
cess's room,  leaving  her  devoted  slave  alone  in  the 
hall  with  two  aged  wash-tubs  and  a  battered  broom. 
There  ensued  an  immediate  flurry  in  the  rooms  of 
the  Princess,  and  the  customer  thought  of  the  forty 
black  slaves,  with  jars  of  jewels  on  their  heads,  who, 
in  Oriental  countries,  are  in  the  habit  of  receiving 
princesses'  visitors  with  all  the  honors.  He  hardly 
thought  to  see  the  forty  black  slaves,  with  the  jars  of 
gems,  but  rather  expected  the  shock-headed  youth 
to  presently  reappear,  with  a  mug  of  rubies,  or  a 
kettle  of  sapphires  and  emeralds,  and  invite  him  in 
courtly  language  to  help  himself  to  a  few — or,  that 
that  active  young  man  would  presently  come  out  with 


66  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

an  amethyst  snuff-box  full  of  diamond-dust  and  ask 
him  to  take  a  pinch,  and  then  present  him  with  that 
expensive  article  as  a  slight  token  of  respect  from 
the  Princess. 

"  Not  so,  not  so,  my  child." 

The  great  shuffling  and  pitching  about  of  things 
continued,  as  if  the  furniture  had  been  indulging  in  an 
extemporaneous  jig,  and  couldn't  stop  on  so  short  a 
notice,  or  else  objected  to  any  interruption  of  the 
festivities. 

Finally  the  rattling  of  chairs  and  tables  subsided 
into  a  calm,  and  the  boy  reappeared.  He  came,  how- 
ever, without  the  tea-kettle  full  of  valuables,  and 
minus  even  the  snuff-box ;  he  merely  remarked,  with 
an  insinuating  wink  of  the  lightest-colored  eye, 
"  Please  to  walk  this  way." 

It  did  please  his  auditor  to  walk  in  the  designated 
direction,  and  he  entered  the  room,  when  the  eye 
spoke  again  to  a  very  low  accompaniment  of  the 
voice,  as  if  he  was  afraid  he  might  damage  that  organ 
by  playing  on  it  too  loudly. 


Madame  Bruce.  67 

The  anxious  visitor  looked  for  the  Princess,  but 
not  seeing  her,  or  the  slaves  with  the  pots  of  jewels,  - 
and  observing,  also,  that  the  chairs  were  not  too  luxu- 
riously gorgeous  for  people  to  sit  on,  he  sat  down. 

A  single  glance  convinced  him  that  the  Princess 
could  have  had  no  opportunity  to  carry  off  her  jewels 
from  her  eastern  home,  or  that  she  must  have  spent 
the  proceeds  before  she  furnished  her  present  domi- 
cile. An  iron  bedstead,  a  small  cooking-stove,  four 
chairs,  and  a  table,  on  which  the  breakfast  crockery 
stood  unwashed,  was  the  amount  of  the  furniture.  A 
dirty  slatternly  young  woman  of  about  twenty-three 
years,  with  filthy  hands  and  uncombed  hair,  and  whose 
clothes  looked  as  if  they  had  been  tossed  on  with  a 
pitchfork,  seated  herself  in  one  of  the  chairs  and  com- 
menced conversation — not  in  Persian.  It  was  one 
o'clock,  P.M.,  but  she  attempted  an  apology  for  the 
unmade  bed,  the  unswept  room,  the  unwashed  break- 
fast dishes,  and  the  untidy  appearance  of  everything. 
Before  she  had  concluded  her  fruitless  explanation, 
the  boy  with  the  variegated  eye  suddenly  came  from 


68  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

a  closet  which  the  customer  had  not  noticed  and  was 
•unprepared  for,  and  said,  in  winning  tones,  "  Please 
to  walk  in  this  room,"  which  was  done,  with  some 
fear  and  no  little  trembling,  whereupon  the  optical 
youth  incontinently  vanished. 

At  last,  then,  the  imaginative  visitor  stood  in  the 
presence  of  royalty,  and  beheld  the  wronged  Princess 
of  his  heart.  He  was  about  to  drop  on  his  bended 
knees  to  pay  his  premeditated  homage,  but  a  hurried 
glance  at  the  floor  showed  that  such  a  course  of  pro- 
ceeding would  result  in  the  ineffaceable  soiling  of  his 
best  pantaloons ;  so  he  stood  sturdily  erect. 

Before  he  suffered  his  eyes  to  rest  upon  the  peerless 
beauty  who,  he  was  convinced,  stood  before  him,  he 
took  a  survey  of  the  regal  apartment. 

An  unpainted  pine  table  stood  in  the  corner,  a  gau- 
dily colored  shade  was  at  the  window,  and  an  iron 
single  bedstead  upon  which  the  clothes  had  been  has- 
tily "  spread  up,"  and  two  chairs,  on  one  of  which  sat 
the  enchantress,  completed  the  list. 

The  Princess  was  attired  in  deep  black,  and  a  thick 


Madame  Bruce.  69 

black  veil,  reaching  from  lier  head  to  her  waist,  en- 
ijrely  concealed  her  features  from  the  beholders  who 
still  devoutly  believed  in  her  royal  birth  and  cruel 
misfortunes — nor  was  this  belief  dissipated  until  she 
spoke;  but  when  she  called  "Pete"  to  the  double- 
barrelled  youth  with  the  eye,  and  gave  him  a  "  blow- 
ing up"  in  the  most  emphatic  kind  of  English  for  not 
bringing  her  pocket-handkerchief,  then  the  beautiful 
Princess  of  his  imagination  vanished  into  the  thin- 
nest kind  of  air,  and  there  remained  only  the  unro- 
mantic  reality  of  a  very  vulgar  woman,  in  a  very  dirty 
dress,  and  who  had  a  very  bad  cold  in  her  head. 
There  was  still  a  hope  that  she  might  be  pretty,  and 
her  would-be  admirer  fervently  trusted  that  she  might 
be  compelled  to  lift  her  veil  to  blow  her  nose,  but  she 
didn't  do  it.  Then  he  offered  her  his  hand,  not  in 
marriage,  but  for  her  to  read  his  fortune  in,  and  stood, 
no  longer  trembling  with  expectation,  but  with  stony 
indifference,  for  as  he  approached  her,  a  strong  odor 
of  an  onion-laden  breath  from  beneath  the  veil,  gave 
the  death-blow  to  the  fair  creature  of  his  imagination, 


70  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

and  convinced  him  that  he  had  got  the  wrong  — 
Princess  by  the  fist.     She  looked  at  him  closely  for  a 
couple  of  minutes,  and  then  spoke  these  words — the 
peculiar  pronunciation  being  probably  induced  by  the 
cold  in  her  head. 

"  You  are  a  badd  who  has  saw  a  great  beddy  chad- 
ges  add  it  seebs  here  as  if  you  was  goidg  to  be  bore 
settled  in  the  future — it  seebs  here  like  as  if  you  had 
sobetibes  in  your  life  beed  very  buch  cast  dowd,  but 
it  seebs  here  like  as  if  you  had  always  got  up  agaid. — 
It  seebs  here  like  as  if  you  had  saw  id  your  past  life 
sobe  lady  what  you  liked  very  buch  add  had*  beed 
disappointed — it  seebs  here  like  as  if  there  was  two 
barriages  for  you,  wud  id  a  very  short  tibe — wud  lady 
seebs  here  to  stadd  very  dear  to  you,  add  you  two  bay 
be  barried  or  you  bay  dot — if  you  are  dot  already 
barried  you  will  be  very  sood — it  seebs  here  as  if  you 
woulddt  have  a  very  large  fabily — five  childred  will 
be  all  that  you  will  have — you  will  have  a  good  deal 
of  buddy  (money)  id  your  life — sobe  of  your  relatives 
what  you  dever  have  saw  will  sood  die  add  leave  you 


Madame  Bruce.  71 

sobe  property — but  you  will  dot  be  expectidg  it  add 
ituseebs  here  as  if  you  would  have  trouble  id  getting 
it,  for  there  will  sobe  wud  else  try  to  get  it  away  frob 
you — it  seebs  as  if  the  lady  you  will  barry  will  dot  be 
too  dark  cobplexiod,  dor  yet  too  light — dot  too  tall, 
dor  yet  very  short,  dot  too  large,  dor  too  thid — she 
thidks  a  great  deal  of  you,  bore  thad  you  do  of  her, — • 
you  have  already  saw  her  id  the  course  of  your  life, 
and  she  loves  you  very  buch.  There  are  people  about 
you  id  your  busidess  who  are  dot  so  buch  your  friends 
as  they  preted  to  be — you  are  goidg  to  bake  sub 
chadge*  id  your  busidess,  it  will  be  a  good  thidg  for 
you  add  will  cub  out  buch  better  thad  you  expect." 

Here  she  stopped  and  intimated  that  she  would  an- 
swer any  questions  that  her  customer  desired  to  ask, 
and  in  reply  to  his  interrogatories  the  following  im- 
portant information  was  elicited : 

"  You  will  be  lodg  lived,  add  you  will  have  two 
wives,  add  will  live  beddy  years  with  your  first  wife." 

The  "  Individual"  proclaimed  himself  satisfied,  and 
paid  his  money,  whereupon  Madame  Bruce  instantly 


72  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

jelled  "Pete,"  when  the  Eye-Boy  reappeared  to  show 
the  door,  and  the  Cash  Customer  departed,  leaving  the 
Mysterious  Veiled  Lady  shivering  on  her  stool,  and 
exceedingly  desirous  of  an  opportunity  to  use  her 
pocket-handkerchief. 

And  this  is  all  there  was  of  the  Persian  Princess. 
As  the  seeker  after  wisdom  went  away  he  made  one 
single  audible  remark  by  way  of  consoling  himself  for 
his  crushed  hopes  and  blighted  anonymous  love.  It 
was  to  this  effect.  "  I  believe  she  squints,  and  I  know 
she's  got  bad  teeth." 


CHAPTER    IV. 


Relates    the    marvellous    performances   of"  Madame   Widger, 

of  No.   3,   First    Avenue,    and    how   she    looks 

into  the  future  through  a  Paving-Stone. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

MADAME  WIDGER,  No.  3  FIRST  AVENUE. 

MADAME  WIDGER  came  from  Albany  to  this  city 
about  four  years  ago,  and  at  once  set  up  as  an  "As- 
trologer." She  has  been  a  " witch"  for  a  great  many 
years,  and  has,  directly  and  indirectly,  done  about  as 
much  mischief  as  it  is  possible  for  one  person  to  accom- 
plish in  the  same  length  of  time.  She  was  a  woman 
of  great  repute  in  and  about  Albany,  as  a  fortune- 
teller, and  was  supposed  to  be  conversant  with  prac- 
tices more  criminal.  She  at  last  became  so  well 
known  as  a  bad  woman,  that  she  found  it  advisable  to 
leave  Albany,  after  she  had  settled  certain  law-suits  in 
which  she  had  become  entangled. 

Among  other  speculations  of  hers,  in  that  place, 
she  once  sued  the  city  to  recover  indemnifying  mo- 


76  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

neys  for  certain  imaginary  damages,  alleged  to  have 
been  done  to  her  property  by  the  unbidden  entrance 
of  the  river  into  her  private  apartments,  during  one 
of  the  periodical  inundations  with  which  Albany  is 
favored.  By  the  shrewd  management  of  certain  of 
her  lawyer  friends  with  whom  she  had  business  deal- 
ings, she  at  last  got  a  judgment  against  the  city,  but, 
owing  to  some  other  awkward  law  complications,  it 
became  expedient  to  change  her  place  of  residence 
before  she  had  collected  her  money,  and  the  amount 
remains  unpaid  to  this  day. 

She  then  came  to  this  city,  and  set  up  in  the  Sorce- 
ress way,  and,  by  dint  of  advertising,  she  soon  got  a 
good  many  customers.  She  now  has  as  much  to  do 
as  she  can  easily  manage  to  get  along  with,  is  making 
a  good  deal  of  money  by  "Astrology,"  and  by  other 
more  unscrupulous  means ;  and  she  is  probably  worth 
some  considerable  property.  She  is  a  bold,  brazen, 
ignorant,  unscrupulous,  dangerous  woman.  She  has 
some  peculiar  ways  of  her  own  in  telling  the  fortunes 
of  her  visitors,  and  is  the  only  person  in  the  city  who 


Madame  Widger.  77 

professes  to  read  the  future  through  a  magic  stone,  or 
"second-sight  pebble."  Her  manner  of  using  this 
wonderful  geological  specimen  is  fully  described  here- 
after. 

The  "Individual"  Visits  a  Grim  Witch,  who  reads  his  Future 
through  a  Moderate-Sized  Paving  Stone. 

Disappointed  in  his  fond  hope  of  discovering,  in  the 
person  of  Madame  Bruce,  an  eligible  partner,  who 
should  bridal  him  and  lead  him  coyly  to  the  altar, 
that  bourne  from  which  no  bachelor  returns,  the  Cash 
Customer  was  for  many  days  downcast  in  his  demeanor 
and  neglectful  of  his  person.  When  he  eventually 
recovered  from  his  strong  attack  of  Madame  Bruce, 
he  was  not  by  any  means  cured  of  his  romantic 
desire  to  procure  a  witch  wife.  He  had  carefully 
figured  up  the  conveniences  of  such  an  article,  and 
the  sum  total  was  an  irresistible  argument. 

If  he  could  win  a  witch  of  the  right  sort,  perhaps 
she  could  teach  him  the  secret  of  the  Philosopher's 
Stone,  and  the  Elixir  of  Life,  and  show  him  the 


78  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

locality  of  the  Fountain  of  Youth,  so  that  he  could 
take  the  wrinkles  out  of  himself  and  his  friends,  at 
the  cost  of  only  a  short  journey,  by  railroad.  A  bar- 
rel or  so  of  that  wonderful  water,  peddled  out  by  the 
bottle,  would  meet  a  readier  sale  and  pay  a  larger 
profit  than  any  Paphian  Lotion  that  was  ever  adver- 
tised on  the  rocks  of  Jersey.  All  this,  to  say  nothing 
of  a  family  of  young  wizards  and  sorcerers,  who  could, 
by  virtue  of  the  maternal  magic,  swallow  swords  from 
the  day  of  their  birth,  do  mighty  feats  of  legerdemain, 
such  as  cutting  off  the  heads  of  innumerable  pigs  and 
chickens,  and  producing  the  decapitated  animals  alive 
again  from  the  coat-tails  of  the  bystanders,  to  the 
astonishment  of  the  crowd  and  the  great  emolument 
of  their  proud  dad.  Even  if  these  profitable  babies 
should  not  be  natural  necromancers,  with  the  power 
of  second  sight,  and  any  quantity  of  "  natural  gifts," 
they  must  surely  be  spirit-rappers  of  the  most  lucra- 
tive "sphere,"  capable  of  organizing  " circles,"  and 
instructing  "mediums,"  and  otherwise  bringing  into 
the  family  fund  large  piles  of  that  circulating  me- 


Madame  Widger.  79 

dium  so  much  to  be  desired.  Or,  even  failing  this 
popular  gift,  they  must  all  be  born  with  some  strong 
instincts  of  money-making  vagabondism.  If  the  girls 
failed  in  fortune-telling  they  would  certainly  have  a 
genius  for  the  tight-rope,  or  a  decided  talent  for  the 
female  circus  and  negro-minstrel  business;  and  the 
boys  would  be  brought  into  the  world  with  the  power 
of  throwing  a  miraculous  number  of  consecutive  flip- 
flaps — of  putting  cocked  hats  on  their  juvenile  heads 
while  turning  somersets  over  long  rows  of  Arab 
steeds  of  the  desert — of  poising  their  infant  bodies  on 
pyramids  of  bottles,  and  drinking  glasses  of  molasses 
and  water,  under  the  contemptible  subterfuge  of  wine, 
to  the  health  of  the  terror-stricken  beholders — or  of 
climbing  to  the  tops  of  very  tall  poles  without  soiling 
their  spangled  dresses,  and  there  displaying  their 
anatomy  for  the  admiration  of  the  gazing  multitude, 
in  divers  attitudes,  for  the  most  part  extraordinarily 
wrong  side  up  with  very  particular  care — or,  at  least, 
they  would  be  born  with  the  astounding  gift  of  tying 
their  young  legs  in  double  bow-knots  across  the  backs 


8o  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

of  their  adolescent  necks,  and  while  in  that  graceful 
position  kissing  their  little  fingers  to  the  bewildered 
audience. 

Under  the  constant  influence  of  such  comfortable 
and  ennobling  thoughts,  it  is  not  in  the  elastic  nature 
of  the  human  mind  to  remain  long  dejected.  In  the 
contemplation  of  the  future  glories  of  his  might-be 
wife  and  possible  family,  the  "Individual"  recovered 
somewhat  of  his  former  gaiety.  Remembering  that 
"Care  killed  a  cat,"  he  resolved  that  he  would  not  be 
chronicled  as  a  second  victim,  so  he  kicked  Care  out 
of  doors,  so  to  speak,  and  warned  Despair  and  Dis- 
couragement off  the  premises. 

He  attired  him  in  his  best,  and  appeared  once 
more  before  the  world  in  the  joyful  garb  of  a  man 
with  Hope  in  his  heart  and  money  in  his  pantaloons. 
In  fact,  so  radiant  did  he  appear,  that  he  might  have 
been  set  down  for  a  person  who  had  just  had  a  new 
main  of  joy  laid  on  in  his  heart,  and  had  turned  the 
cocks  of  all  the  pipes,  and  let  on  the  full  head  just 
to  see  how  the  new  apparatus  worked.  Or,  as  if 


Madame  Widger.  81 

he'd  been  in  a  shower-bath  of  good-nature,  and 
come  out  dripping. 

He  also  took  kindly  to  that  innocuous  beverage, 
lager  bier,  which  was  a  good  sign  in  itself,  inas- 
much as  he  had,  for  a  few  days,  been  drinking  as 
many  varieties  of  strong  drinks,  as  if  he'd  been 
brought  up  on  Professor  Anderson's  Inexhaustible 
Bottle,  and  had  never  overcome  the  influences  of  his 
infant  education. 

Seeking  out  a  friend  to  whom  he  confided  his 
hopes  of  a  lucrative  wife  and  a  profitable  progeny, 
the  Cash  Customer  suggested  that  they  proceed  im- 
mediately in  search  of  the  fair  enchantress  who  was 
to  be  his  comfort  and  consolation,  for  the  rest  of  his 
respectable  life. 

Being  somewhat  disgusted  with  the  result  of  his 
visit  to  the  witch  with  the  romantic  designation  of 
the  "  Mysterious  Veiled  Lady,"  he  had  determined 
to  seek  out  one  on  this  occasion  with  the  most  com- 
mon-place and  e very-day  cognomen,  in  the  whole 

list.     There  being  a  Madame  Widger  in  that  delight- 

4* 


82  The  Witches,  of  New  York. 

ful  catalogue,  of  course  Widger  was  the  one  selected. 
It  is  true,  she  sometimes  advertised  herself  as  the 
"Mysterious  Spanish  Lady,"  but  in  the  judgment  of 
the  Individual,  the  Widger  was  too  much  for  the 
Spanish  and  the  mystery. 

So  Madame  "Widger  was  resolved  on.  Her  mo- 
dest advertisement  is  given,  that  the  impartial  reader 
may  be  brought  to  acknowledge  that  the  induce- 
ments to  wed  the  Widger  were  not  of  the  common 
order. 

"MADAME  WIDGER,  the  Natural-Gifted  Astrologist,  Second- 
Sight  Seer  and  Doctress,  tells  past,  present,  and  future  events ; 
love,  courtship,  marriage,  absent  friends,  sickness;  prescribes 
medicines  for  all  diseases,  property  lost  or  stolen,  at  No.  3  First- 
av.,  near  Houston-st" 

The  slight  lack  of  perspicuity  in  this  announce- 
ment seems  to  be  a  mysterious  peculiarity,  common 
to  all  the  Fortune  Tellers,  as  if  they  were  all  imbued 
with  the  same  commendable  contempt  for  all  the 
rules  of  English  grammar. 


Madame  Widger.  83 

The  voyager  being  attired  in  a  captivating  costume, 
and  being  also  provided  with  pencils  and  paper  to 
make  a  life-sketch,  with  a  view  to  an  expansive  portrait 
of  his  enslaver,  whose  beauty  was  with  him  a  foregone 
conclusion,  set  out  with  his  faithful  friend  for  the  de- 
lightful locality  mentioned  in  the  advertisement,  where 
the  charming  Circe,  Widger,  held  her  magic  court. 

He  was  not  aware,  at  that  time,  that  his  intended 
bride  was  not  a-  blushing  blooming  maiden,  but  an 
ancient  dame,  whose  very  wrinkles  date  back  into 
the  eighteenth  century.  But  of  that  hereafter. 

Tic  was  determined  to  have  her  tell  his  "love, 
courtship,  or  marriage,  absent  friends,  or  sickness," 
and  to  insist  that  she  should  "prescribe  medicines 
for  property  lost  or  stolen,"  according  to  the  exact 
wording  of  the  advertisement. 

The  doughty  "Individual"  trembled  somewhat, 
with  an  undefined  sensation  of  awe,  as  though  some 
fearful  ordeal  was  before  him — to  use  his  own  elegant 
and  forcible  language,  he  felt  as  though  he  was  going 
to  encounter  an  earthquake  with  volcano  trimmings. 


84  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

"  It  is  the  fluttering  of  new-born  love  in  your  manly 
bosom,"  remarked  his  companion. 

"  Well,"  was  the  reply,  "  if  a  baby  love  kicks  so 
very  like  a  horse  of  vicious  propensities,  a  full-grown 
Cupid  would  be  so  unmanageable  as  to  defy  the  very 
Karey  and  all  his  works." 

Without  any  noteworthy  adventure  they  kept  on 
their  way  to  the  First  Avenue,  and  in  due  time  stood, 
awe-struck,  before  the  mansion  of  the  enchantress. 

After  the  first  impression  had  worn  off,  the  scene 
was  somewhat  stripped  of  its  mysteriousness,  and 
assumed  an  aspect  commonplace,  not  to  say  seedy. 
As  soon  as  the  sense  of  bewilderment  with  which  they 
at  first  gazed  upon  the  domicile  of  the  mysterious 
damsel  so  favored  of  the  fates,  had  passed  away,  they 
found  themselves  in  a  condition  to  make  the  obser- 
vations of  the  place  and  its  surroundings  that  are 
detailed  below. 

The  house,  a  three-story  brick,  seemed  to  have  that 
architectural  disease  which  is  a  perpetual  epidemic 
among  the  tenant-houses  of  the  city,  and  which  makes 


Madame  Widger.  85 

them  look  as  if  they  had  all  been  dipped  in  a  strong 
solution  of  something  that  had  taken  the  skin  off. 
The  paint  was  blistered  and  peeling  off  in  flakes  ;  the 
blinds  were  hanging  cornerwise  by  solitary  hinges ;  the 
shingles  were  starting  from  their  places  with  a  strange 
air  of  disquietude,  as  if  some  mighty  hand  had  stroked 
them  the  wrong  way ;  the  door-steps  were  shaky  and 
crazy  in  the  knees ;  the  door  itself  had  a  curious  air 
of  debility  and  emaciation,  and  the  bell-knob  was  too 
weak  to  return  to  its  place  after  it  had  feebly  done  its 
brazen  duty.  There  was  no  door-plate,  but  on  a  bat- 
tered tin  sign  was  blazoned,  in  fat  letters,  the  mystic 
word  "  Widger."  The  Cash  Customer  rang  the  bell, 
not  once  merely,  or  twice,  but  continuously,  in  pur- 
suance of  a  dogma  which  he  laid  down  as  follows : 

"  It  is  a  mistake  to  ever  stop  ringing  till  somebody 
comes.  The  feebler  you  ring,  the  more  the  servants 
think  you're  a  dun,  and  therefore  the  more  they  don't 
come  to  let  you  in — but  if  you  keep  it  up  regularly 
they'll  think  you're  a  rich  relation  and  will  rush  to  the 


rescue." 


86  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

So  lie  kept  on,  and  the  voice  of  the  bell  sharply 
clattered  through  the  dismal  old  house,  making  as 
much  noise  as  if  it  suddenly  wakened  a  thousand 
echoes  that  had  been  locked  up  there  for  many  years 
without  the  power  to  speak  till  now.  If  a  timid  ring 
denotes  a  dun,  and  a  boisterous  one  a  rich  relation, 
then  must  the  inhabitants  of  that  cleanly  suburb  have 
been  convinced  that  the  present  performer  on  the  bell 
not  only  had  no  claims  as  a  creditor  on  the  people  of 
the  house,  but  was  a  rich  California  uncle,  come  to  give 
each  adult  member  of  that  happy  family  a  gold  mine 
or  so,  and  to  distribute  a  cart-load  of  diamonds  among 
the  children. 

The  door  at  last  was  opened  by  an  uncertain  old 
man  with  very  weak  eyes,  who  appeared  to  have,  in 
a  milder  form,  the  same  malady  which  afflicted  the 
house ;  perhaps  he  was  a  twin,  and  suffered  from  bro- 
therly sympathy — at  any  rate  the  dilapidating  disease 
had  touched  him  sorely ;  its  ravages  were  particularly 
noticeable,  in  the  toes  of  his  boots  and  the  elbows  of 
his  coat.  Violent  remedies  had  evidently  been  ap- 


Madame  Widger.  87 

plied  in  the  latter  case,  but  the  patches  were  of  differ- 
ent colors,  and  suggestive  of  the  rag-bag;  the  boots 
were  past  hope  of  convalescence ;  his  shirt-collar  was 
sunk  under  a  greasy  billow  of  a  neckcloth,  and  only 
one  slender  string  was  visible  to  show  where  it  had 
gone  down ;  the  nether  garment  was  a  ragged  wreck, 
that  set  a  hundred  tattered  sails  to  every  breeze,  but 
was  anchored  fast  at  the  shoulder  with  a  single  dis- 
reputable suspender. 

Guided  by  this  equivocal  individual  the  two  visitors 
entered  a  small  shabbily  furnished  room,  and  be- 
stowed themselves  in  a  couple  of  treacherous  chairs, 
in  pursuance  of  an  imbecile  invitation  from  the  bat- 
tered old  gentleman. 

The  anticipations  of  the  enthusiastic  lover  again 
began  to  fall,  and  in  five  minutes  his  heart,  which  so 
lately  was  "burning  with  high  hope,"  was  so  cold  as 
to  be  uncomfortable. 

On  a  seven-by-nine  cooking-stove,  which  three  pints 
of  coal  would  have  driven  blazing  crazy,  stood  a 
diminutive  iron  kettle,  in  which  something  was  noisily 


88  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

stewing;  the  something  may  have  been  a  decoction 
of  magic  herbs,  or  it  may  have  been  Madame 
Widger's  dinner.  A  tumble-down  trunk  in  a  corner 
of  the  room  did  precarious  duty  for  a  chair ;  a  faded 
carpet  hid  the  floor ;  a  cheap  rocking-chair  in  the  act 
of  moulting  its  upholstery  spread  its  luxurious  arms 
invitingly  near  the  dim  window;  and  a  table,  on 
which  a  pack  of  German  playing  cards  was  coyly  half 
concealed  by  a  newspaper,  a  coal-hod,  and  a  poker, 
completed  the  necessary  furnishing  of  the  apartment. 

The  ornaments  are  soon  inventoried ;  a  certificate 
of  membership  of  the  New  York  State  Agricultural 
Society,  given  at  Albany  to  Mr.  M.  Gr.  Bivins,  hung 
in  a  cheap  frame  over  the  table.  The  other  decora- 
tions were  a  few  prints  of  high-colored  saints,  an 
engraving  of  a  purple  Virgin  Mary  with  a  pea-green 
child,  and  a  picture  of  a  blue  Joseph  being  sold  by 
yellow  brethren  to  a  crowd  of  scarlet  merchants  who 
were  paying  for  him  with  money  that  looked  like 
peppermint  lozenges. 

Madame  Widger,  the  "  Mysterious  Spanish  Lady," 


Madame  Widger.  89 

was  not  at  first  visible  to  the  naked  eye,  but  a  loud, 
shrill,  vicious  voice,  which  made  itself  heard  through 
the  partition  dividing  the  reception-room  from  some 
apartment  as  yet  unexplored  by  them,  directed  the 
attention  of  her  visitors  to  her  exact  locality. 

She  was  "engaged"  with  another  gentleman,  said 
the  knight  of  the  ragged  inexpressibles. 

Had  not  what  he  had  already  seen  of  the  mansion 
decidedly  cooled  the  passion  of  the  love-lorn  cus- 
tomer, this  intelligence  would  have  been  likely  to 
rouse  his  ire  against  the  interloping  swain,  and  make 
him  pant  for  vengeance  and  fistic  damages  to  the 
other  party ;  but  in  his  present  confused  state  of  mind 
he  received  this  blow  with  philosophic  indifference. 

The  old  man  subsided  into  a  chair,  and  in  a  weak 
sort  of  way  began  to  talk,  evidently  with  some  insane 
idea  of  pleasingly  filling  up  the  time  until  the  pro- 
phetess should  be  disengaged.  His  conversation 
seemed  to  run  to  disasters,  with  a  particular  partiality 
to  shipwrecks.  He  accordingly  detailed,  with  won- 
derful exactness,  the  perils  encountered  by  a  certain 


90  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

canal-boat  of  his,  "  loaded  principally  with  butter  and 
cheese,'7  during  a  dangerous  voyage  from  Albany  to 
New  York,  and  which  was  finally  brought  safely  to 
a  secure  harbor  by  the  power  of  the  Widger,  which 
circumstance  had  made  him  her  slave  for  life. 

The  shrill  voice  then  ceased,  and  the  person  to 
whom  it  had  been  addressed  came  forth.  The  lime 
on  his  blue  jean  garments,  and  the  cloudy  appearance 
of  his  boots,  declared  him  to  be  something  in  the 
mason  line.  He  deported  himself  with  becoming 
reverence,  and  departed  in  apparent  awe.  He  did  not 
look  like  a  dangerous  rival,  and  he  was  not  mo- 
lested. 

A  discreditable  and  disordered  head  now  thrust 
itself  out  of  the  mysterious  closet,  opened  its  mouth, 
and  the  vicious  voice  said :  "I  will  see  you  now,  sir." 
The  sighing  swain,  with  a  fluttering  heart  and 
unsteady  steps,  summoned  his  courage  and  entered 
the  place,  to  him  as  mysterious  as  was  Bluebeard's 
golden-keyed  closet  to  his  ninth  wife.  The  first 
glance  at  Madame  Widger  at  once  scattered  again  all 


Madame  Widger.  gi 

liis  dreams  of  love  and  of  happiness  with  that  potent 
and  fearful  female. 

He  encountered  a  cadaverous  bony -looking  woman, 
very  tall,  very  old,  though  with  hair  still  black  ;  with 
grey  eyes,  and  false  gleaming  teeth.  She  was  attired 
in  calico;  quality,  ten  cents  a  yard;  appearance, 
dirty.  Hardly  was  the  door  closed,  when  the  vicious 
voice  spitefully  remarked,  "Sit  down,  sir;"  and  a 
skinny  finger  pointed  to  a  cane-bottomed  chair. 
While  seating  himself  and  taking  off  his  gloves,  he 
took  an  observation. 

The  apartment  was  not  large ;  in  an  unfurnished 
state,  a  moderately -hooped  belle  might  have  stood  in 
it  without  serious  damage  to  her  outskirts,  but  there 
would  be  little  extra  room  for  any  enterprising 
adventurer  to  circumnavigate  her.  In  one  corner 
was  a  small  pine  light-stand,  on  which  was  a  sceptical 
looking  Bible,  with  a  very  black  brass  key  tied  in  it ; 
a  volume  of  Cowper  bound  in  full  calf;  a  little  lamp 
with  a  single  lighted  wick,  and  a  pile  of  the  Madame's 
business  handbills. 


92  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

She  at  once  showed  her  experience  of  human  nature 
and  her  distrust  of  her  present  visitor  by  her  practical 
and  matter-of-fact  conduct. 

She  sat  uncomfortably  down  on  the  very  edge  of 
an  angular  chair,  folded  her  hands,  shut  herself  half 
up  like  a  jack-knife,  and  the  vicious  voice  mentioned 
this  fearful  fact :  "  My  terms  are  a  dollar  for  gentle- 
men;" and  the  grey  eyes  stonily  stared  until  the 
dollar  aforesaid  was  produced. 

The  voice  then  prepared  for  business  by  sun- 
dry "Ahems!"  and  when  fairly  in  working  order 
it  proceeded:  "Give  me  your  hand — your  left 
hand." 

The  Widger  took  the  extended  palm  in  her  shri- 
velled fingers  andmade  four  rapid  dabs  in  the  middle  of 
it  with  the  forefinger  of  her  other  hand,  as  if  she  were 
scornfully  pointing  out  defects  in  its  workmanship ; 
then  she  opened  the  drawer  of  the  little  stand  with  a 
spiteful  jerk,  and  withdrew  thence  something  which 
she  put  to  her  sinister  optic,  and  began  rapidly  screw- 
ing it  round  v/ith  both  hands,  as  if  she  had  got  water 


Madame  Widger.  93 

on  the  brain  and  was  trying  to  tap  herself  in 
the  eye. 

Then  the  vicious  voice  began,  in  a  loud  mechanical 
manner,  to  speak  with  the  greatest  volubility,  running 
the  sentences  together,  and  not  thinking  of  a  comma 
or  a  period  till  her  breath  was  exhausted,  in  a  man- 
ner that  would  have  fairly  distanced  Susan  Nipper 
herself,  even  if  that  rapid  young  lady  had  twenty 
seconds  the  start. 

"  I  see  by  looking  in  this  stone  that  you  was  born 
under  two  planets  one  is  the  planet  Mars  you  will  die 
under  the  planet  Jupiter  but  it  won't  be  this  year  or 
next  you  have  seen  a  great  deal  of  trouble  and  misfor- 
tune in  your  past  life  but  better  days  are  surely  in  store 
for  you  you  have  passed  through  many  things  which 
if  written  in  a  book  would  make  a  most  interesting 
volume  I  see  by  looking  more  closely  in  the  stone  that 
you  are  about  to  receive  two  letters  one  a  business 
letter  the  other  a  let — " 

Here  her  breath  failed,  and  as  soon  as  it  came  back 
the  voice  continued — 


94  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

"  ter  from  a  friend  it  is  written  very  closely  and 
is  crossed  I  see  by  looking  more  closely  in  the  stone 
that  one  of  the  letters  will  contain  news  which  will 
distress  you  exceedingly  for  a  little  while  but  you 
need  not  be  troubled  for  it  will  all  be  for  your  good 
you  are  soon  to  have  an  interview  with  a  man  of 
light  hair  and  blue  eyes  who  will  profess  great 
interest  in  you  but  he  will  get  the  advantage  of  you 
if  he  can  you  must  beware  of  him  I  see  by  kok'ng 
more  closely  in  the  stone  that  you  will  live  to  be 
68  years  old  but  you  will  die  before  you  are  70." 
Here  was  another  station  where  the  locomotive  voice 
stopped  to  take  in  air,  and  then  instantly  dashed 
ahead  at  a  greater  speed  than  ever.  "I  see  by 
looking  more  closely  in  the  stone  that  good  luck 
will  befall  you  a  near  friend  will  die  and  leave  you 
a  fortune  I  see  by  looking  more  closely  in  the 
stone  that  this  will  happen  to  you  when  you  are 
between  32  and  34  years  old  that  is  all  I  see  in  this 
stone." 

Another    grab    brought   from    the    little   drawer 


Madame  Widger.  95 

another  pebble,  which  the  Madame  placed  at  her 
eye,  the  boring  operation  was  recommenced,  and 
the  vicious  voice  once  more  got  up  steam. 

"  I  see  by  looking  closely  in  this  stone  that  you  will 
have  two  wives  one  will  be  blue-eyed  and  the  other 
will  be  black-eyed  with  the  first  one  you  will  not  live 
long  but  with  the  last  one  you  will  be  happy  many 
years  I  see  by  looking  more  closely  in  the  stone  that 
you  will  have  six  children  which  will  be  very  com- 
fortable the  lady  who  is  to  be  your  first  wife  is  at 
this  moment  thinking  of  you  I  see  by  looking  more 
closely  in  the  stone  that  a  man  with  light  hair  and 
blue  eyes  is  trying  to  get  her  away  from  you  but  she 
scorns  him  and  turns  away  I  see  by  looking  more 
closely  in  the  stone  that  she  has  a  strong  feeling  for 
you  you  need  not  fear  the  man  with  light  hair  and 
blue  eyes  for  you  will  get  her  you  and  you  only  will 
possess  her  heart  I  see  by  looking  more  closely  in  the 
stone  that  she  is  good  gentle  kind  loving  affectionate 
true-hearted  and  pleasant 

(The  vicious  voice  resented  each  one  of  these  good- 


96  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

natured  adjectives,  as  if  it  had  been  a  gross  personal 
insult  to  the  Widger,  and  spit  them  spitefully  at  her 
trembling  customer,  as  if  they  tasted  badly  in  her 
mouth.) 

"  and  will  make  you  a  good  wife ;  you  will  be  rich 
and  happy  you  will  be  successful  in  business  you 
will  be  hereafter  always  lucky  you  will  be  distin- 
guished you  will  be  eminent  you  will  be  good  you 
will  be  respected  you  will  be  beloved  honored  che- 
rished and  will  reach  a  good  old  age  I  see  by  looking 
in  this  stone — that  is  all  I  see  by  looking  in  this 
stone." 

Here  she  ceased,  and  choking  down  her  indig- 
nation, which  had  risen  to  a  fearful  pitch  dur- 
ing the  complimentary  peroration,  she  said,  taking 
up  the  equivocal  Bible  with  the  key  tied  in  it, 
"Take  hold  of  the  key  with  your  finger,  I  will 
give  you  one  wish,  if  the  book  turns  round  you 
will  have  your  wish."  The  guest  took  the  key  in 
the  required  manner,  and  the  "Widger  closed  her  eyes 
and  muttered  something  which  may  have  been  either 


Madame  Widger.  97 

a  prayer  or  a  recipe  for  pickling  red  cabbage,  for  lie 
was  unable  to  satisfy  himself  with  any  degree  of 
certainty  what  it  was;  at  the  appointed  time  the 
book  turned  and  the  wish  was  therefore  graciously 
granted. 

Her  hearer  smiled  his  grimmest  smile,  and  ventured 
to  inquire  if  his  unknown  rival  was  making  any  pro- 
gress in  securing  the  affections  of  the  lady  in  dispute, 
and  received  the  satisfying  answer,  "She  scorns  him 
and  turns  away."  Reassured  by  this,  the  susceptible 
individual  mentally  and  fiercely  defied  the  blue-eyed 
intruder  to  do  his  worst,  and  with  a  reverential  obei- 
sance left  the  presence.  As  he  departed,  the  skinny 
hand  presented  him  with  a  handbill,  but  the  vicious 
voice  was  silent. 

Carefully  conning  the  handbill  as  they  slowly 
departed  from  the  august  realm  of  the  Madame,  the 
seekers  of  magic  for  the  lowest  cash  price  read  the 
following  particulars : 

"  Madame  Widger  was  born  with  this  wonderful  gift  of 
revealing  the  destinies  of  man,  and  she  has  revealed  mysteries 


98  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

that  no  mortal  knew.  She  states  that  she  advertises  nothing 
but  what  she  can  do  with  entire  satisfaction  to  all  who  wish  to 
consult  her. 

"  Also,  she  will  scan  aright, 
Dreams  and  visions  of  the  night." 

The  tender  inquirer  went  away  in  a  desponding 
mood.  The  Widger  was  out  of  the  question  as  a 
bride,  "for  she  was  old  enough,"  he  said,  "to  have 
been  grandmother  to  his  father's  uncle." 


CHAPTER    V. 


Discourses  of  Mrs.  Pugh,  of  No.   102   South   First   Street, 

Williamsburgh,  and  tells  all  that  Nursing  Sorceress 

communicated  to  her  Cash  Customer. 


CHAPTER   V. 

MRS.  PUGH,  No.    102   SOUTH  FIRST  STREET, 
WILLIAMSBURGH. 

IT  is  travelling  a  little  away  from  home  to  go  to 
Williamsburgh  in  search  of  a  witch,  but  there  are 
some  peculiar  circumstances  about  the  present  case, 
that  give  it  more  than  common  interest.  Mrs.  Pugh 
is  not  an  advertising  sorceress,  but  practises  all  her 
magic  slily,  and  generally  under  a  promise  of  se- 
cresy,  which  is  exacted  lest  the  fame  of  her  fortune- 
telling  should  come  to  the  ears  of  certain  respectable 
families,  who  employ  her  as  a  nurse.  She  is  much 
resorted  to  by  a  number  of  young  persons  of  both 
sexes,  and  has  considerable  notoriety  among  the  low 
and  ignorant  classes  as  a  practiser  of  the  black  art. 
She  is  by  no  means  the  only  "nurse"  who  is  given 


1 02          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

to  this  reprehensible  practice,  hut  very  many  of  the 
old  women  who  officiate  as  professional  nurses  are 
proficients  in  telling  fortunes  with  cards,  and  with 
the  Bible  and  key,  and  are  always  glad  of  an  oppor- 
tunity to  exhibit  their  pretended  skill.  Being  at 
times  received  into  families  where  there  are  daugh- 
ters, not  grown  up,  they  become  most  dangerous 
persons  if  they  are  encouraged  or  permitted  to 
thus  practise  on  the  credulity  of  these  young 
girls. 

The  mere  encouragement  of  hurtful  superstitious 
notions  is  a  great  ill  in  itself,  but  is  by  no  means  the 
extent  of  the  evil  done  by  some  of  these  persons. 
They  not  unfrequently  take  an  active  part  in  bringing 
about  meetings  between  unsuspecting  girls  and  evil- 
disposed  men,  thus  paving  the  way  to  the  wretched- 
ness and  ruin  of  the  former.  More  than  one  instance 
is  known,  where  the  going  astray  of  a  loved  daugh- 
ter can  be  traced  directly  to  the  mischievous  teach- 
ings of  a  fortune -telling  nurse. 

These  are  the  reasons  that  give  the  case  of  Mrs. 


Mrs.  Pugh.  103 

Pugh  an  importance  greater  than  attaches  to  many 
others. 

It  is  right  that  people  should  know  that  a  certain 
degree  of  circumspection  ought  to  be  used,  with 
regard  to  moral  character,  as  well  as  other  quali- 
fications, in  the  selection  of  a  nurse,  lest  a  person 
be  employed  who  will  work  irreparable  mischief 
among  the  younger  members  of  the  family. 

The  Individual  calls  on  a  Nursing  Sorceress. 

Who  shall  say  that  broom-stick  locomotion  is  a 
lost  art,  and  that  steam  has  superseded  magic  in  the 
matter  of  travelling?  Because  no  one  of  us  has  ever 
encountered  a  witch  on  her  basswood  steed,  shall  we 
presume  to  assert  that  witches  no  longer  bestride  bass- 
wood  steeds  and  make  their  nocturnal  excursions  to 
blasted  heaths,  there  to  meet  the  devil  in  the  social 
midnight  orgie,  and  kick  up  their  withered  heels  in 
the  gay  diabolical  dance  with  other  ancient  females 
of  like  kidney  with  themselves  ?  Because  no  one  of 
us  has  ever  beheld  with  his  own  personal  optics,  an 


104          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

old  woman  change  herself  into  a  black  cat,  shall  we 
therefore  assert  that  the  ancient  dames  of  our  own 
day  are  unable  to  accomplish  that  feline  transforma- 
tion? "Not  by  no  manner  of  means  whatsomdever," 
as  Mr.  Weller  would  remark. 

Let  us  not  then  be  found  without  charity  for  the 
peculiar  and  persistent  faith  of  the  hero  of  this  book, 
who,  though  thrice  bitterly  disappointed  in  his  matri- 
monial speculations  among  the  witches,  still  clung 
to  the  fond  belief  that  a  bride  with  supernatural 
powers  of  doing  things  would  be  a  splendid  specula- 
tion, and  that  such  a  spouse  could  be  found  if  he,  her 
ardent  lover,  did  not  give  up  the  chase  too  soon. 
Spite  of  his  disappointment  with  Madame  Bruce,  and 
his  crushing  discomfiture  with  Madame  Widger, 
Hope  still  sprang  eternal  in  the  "Individual's" 
breast,  and  he  felt,  like  the  immortal  Mr.  Brown 
of  classic  verse,  that  it  would  "  never  do  to  give  it 
up  so." 

He  had  something  of  a  natural  turn  for  mechanics, 
and  having  been  of  late  engaged  in  some  entertaining 


Mrs.  Pugh.  105 

speculations  on  steam  engines,  he  came  not  unnatu- 
rally to  think  of  the  wonderful  advantage  the  magi- 
cally-endowed people  of  old  had  over  the  present  age 
in  the  matter  of  locomotion.  He  thought  of  that 
wonderful  carpet  on  which  a  jolly  little  party  had  but 
to  seat  themselves  and  wish  to  be  transported  to  any 
far-off  spot,  and  presto!  change!  there  they  were 
instanter.  No  collisions  to  be  feared;  no  running 
off  the  track  at  a  speed  of  ever-so-many  unaccounta- 
ble miles  an  hour;  no  cast-iron-voiced  conductor  at 
short  intervals  demanding  tickets;  no  old  women 
with  sour  babies;  no  obtrusive  boys  with  double- 
priced  books  and  magazines;  no  other  boys  with 
peanuts,  apples,  and  pop-corn ;  nothing,  in  fact,  save 
one's  own  social  circle  but  a  civil  genie,  not  of  Irish 
extraction,  to  fly  alongside  to  mix  the  juleps  and 
carry  the  morning  paper. 

It  was  very  natural  to  consider  whether  there 
wasn't  a  yard  or  two  left  somewhere  of  that  valuable 
carpet,  and  to  regret  that  on  the  whole  probably  the 

original  owners  had  occasion  to  use  the  entire  piece. 

5* 


io6          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

Then  the  thought  was  very  naturally  suggested  of 
the  marvellous  wooden  horse  with  the  pegs  in  his 
neck,  who  soared  with  his  riders  a  great  deal  higher 
than  does  Mr.  Wise  in  his  clumsy  balloon,  and 
always  came  down  a  great  deal  easier  than  ever 
Mr.  Wise  did  yet.  Of  course  the  Cash  Customer  was 
from  the  start  perfectly  convinced  that  that  breed  of 
horses  is  long  since  extinct,  so  long  ago  that  no 
record  of  them  is  now  to  be  found  in  either  the 
" American  Kacing  Calendar,"  or  the  "English  Stud 
Book." 

Then  very  naturally  came  thoughts  of  the  broom- 
stick changes  of  the  more  modern  witches.  Perhaps, 
he  thought,  these  are  the  colts  of  the  wooden  horse, 
degenerate,  it  is  true,  and  lacking  in  the  grace  and 
symmetry  of  their  extraordinary  sire,  but  still  per- 
haps not  inferior  in  speed  or  in  safety  of  carriage. 

The  thought  was  a  brilliant  one,  and  it  was  really 
worth  while  to  inquire  into  the  matter  and  pursue 
this  phantom  steed  until  he  was  fairly  hunted  down 
and  bridled  ready  for  use. 


Mrs.  Pugh.  107 

It  needed  no  long  cogitation  or  extended  argument 
to  convince  Johannes,  the  "Individual,"  the  Cash 
Customer,  of  the  immense  practical  value  of  such  a 
steed,  to  say  nothing  of  his  costing  nothing  to  keep, 
and  of  its  therefore  being  utterly  impossible  for  him 
to  aeat  his  own  head  off,"  and  of  his  never  growing 
old,  and  of  his  never  having  any  of  the  multitudinous 
diseases  that  afflict  ordinary  horses  without  any  inter- 
mixture of  magic  blood,  and  therefore  of  it  being  out 
of  the  question  for  anybody  to  cheat  his  owner  in  a 
horse-trade. 

Why,  only  think  of  his  value  for  livery  purposes 
in  case  his  happy  proprietor  was  disposed  to  let 
other  folks  use  him  for  a  proper  compensation.  He 
could  of  course  be  trained  to  carry  double,  and  no 
doubt  Mr.  Rarey,  or  some  other  person  potent  in 
horse  education,  could  easily  break  him  to  go  in 
harness. 

It  wasn't  likely,  Johannes  cogitated,  that  the 
judges  would  allow  him  to  enter  his  ligneous  racer 
at  the  Fashion  Course,  so  that  he'd  not  get  a  chance 


io8          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

to  win  any  money  from  Lancet  and  Flora  Temple, 
still  there  was  a  hope,  even  on  that  point. 

So,  in  search  of  the  witch  wife,  whose  dower 
should  be  the  broomstick  horse,  that  should  set  the 
fond  couple  up  in  business,  started  the  sanguine 
lover. 

Having  had  some  experience  of  New  York  for- 
tune-tellers and  others  in  the  magic  line,  and  not 
thinking  they  were  of  the  sort  likely  to  have  so 
great  a  treasure,  he  started  for  the  suburbs,  and 
crossed  the  ferry  to  Williamsburgh,  in  order  to  pay  a 
visit  of  inquiry,  and  if  possible  to  take  the  initiatory 
step  in  courting  Mrs.  Pugh,  of  No.  102  South  First 
Street,  in  that  city. 

He  designed,  of  course,  to  buy  a  "fortune"  at  a 
liberal  price,  for  the  purpose  of  setting  the  lady  in 
good-humor  as  a  necessary  preliminary  step.  He 
really  had  hopes  that  she  would  prove  to  be  of  a 
slightly  different  style  from  some  of  the  New  York 
fortune-tellers,  who  seem  to  have  mistaken  their 
profession  and  to  be  hardly  up  to  reading  the  stars 


Mrs.  Pugh.  109 

with  success,  although  they  might  be  fully  equal  to 
all  the  financial  exigencies  of  an  apple  and  peanut 
stand,  or  might  win  an  honorable  distinction  crying 
"radishes  and  lettuce"  in  the  early  morning  hours; 
or  upon  trial,  might,  perhaps,  evince  a  decided  genius 
for  the  rag-picking  business,  or  preside  over  the  for- 
tunes of  a  soap-fat  cart  with  distinguished  ability. 

Threading  the  winding  ways  of  Williamsburgh  is 
by  no  means  an  easy  task  for  one  unaccustomed,  and 
it  was  only  by  incessantly  stopping  the  passers-by  and 
making  the  most  minute  inquiries  that  this  lady  was 
ever  achieved  at  all. 

This  constant  questioning  of  the  public  revealed, 
however,  the  fact  that  Mrs.  Pugh  does  not  by  any 
means  depend  upon  her  fortune-telling  for  her  bread- 
and-butter;  she  is  a  nurse,  as  many  a  Williamsburgh 
baby  could  testify  if  it  could  command  its  emotions 
long  enough  to  speak/'  What  will  be  the  influence 
of  her  supernaturalism  and  witchcraft  upon  the  chil- 
dren intrusted  to  her  fostering  care — whether  they 
will  in  after  life  prove  to  be  devils,  demi-gods,  heroes, 


1 1  o          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

or  mere  ordinary  "humans,"  time  alone  can  show. 
This  illustrious  lady  does  not  advertise  in  the  news- 
papers ;  in  fact,  her  fortune-telling  is  done  on  the  sly, 
as  if  she  were  yet  an  apprentice,  and  a  little  ashamed 
of  her  bungling  jobs,  for  which,  by  the  way,  she  only 
charges  half  price.  She  is  in  a  very  undecided  state, 
and  evidently  undetermined  whether  her  proper 
vocation  is  tending  babies  or  revealing  the  decrees 
of  the  fates  at  twenty-five  cents  a  head,  and  when 
her  visitors  made  their  appearance  she  was  puzzled  to 
know  whether  their  business  was  baby  or  black  art. 

Her  exertions  in  either  profession  have  not  as  yet 
gained  her  a  very  large  fortune,  judging  from  the 
surroundings  of  her  eligible  residence. 

The  domicile  of  this  chrysalis  enchantress  is  a  low 
frame  house  of  two  stories,  standing  back  from  the 
street,  directly  in  the  rear  of  another  row  of  more 
pretentious  mansions,  as  if  it  had  been  sent  into  the 
back  yard  in  disgrace  and  never  permitted  to  show 
itself  in  good  society  again.  It  seems  conscious  of 
its  humiliation,  and  wears  an  air  of  architectural 


Mrs.  Pugh.  1 1 1 

dejection  that  is  quite  touching.  A  troop  of  dirty- 
faced  children  was  in  the  yard,  and  in  the  corner 
was  a  pile  of  other  household  incumbrances,  consist- 
ing principally  of  mops  and  washtubs. 

Johannes  critically  examined  this  interesting  col- 
lection, but  the  wished-for  broomstick  was  not  there. 
A  modest  rap  brought  to  the  door  a  large  ill-favored 
man  with  a  red  nose  and  a  ponderous  pair  of  boots, 
whose  speciality  seemed  to  be  drinking  whatever 
spirituous  liquors  were  consumed  about  the  esta- 
blishment. 

Having  passed  this  shirt-sleeved  sentinel  without 
damage,  though  not  without  fear,  the  Cash  Customer 
sat  down  to  take  an  observation. 

The  wooden  courser  was  not  to  be  seen  at  first 
glance.  The  room  was  a  small  irregularly -shaped 
one,  with  an  intrusive  chimney  jutting  out  into  the 
floor  from  one  side,  as  if  it  were  a  sturdy  brick-and- 
mortar  poor  relation  of  the  premises  come  a  visiting 
and  not  to  be  got  rid  of  at  any  price.  A  small  cook- 
ing stove  was  in  the  fireplace,  with  an  attendant  on 


1 1 2  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

either  side  in  the  shape  of  a  battered  coal-scuttle,  and 
a  small  saucepan  full  of  charcoal ;  the  floor  was  co- 
vered with  a  dirty  rag  carpet  that  had  long  since  out- 
lived its  beauty  and  its  usefulness,  and  was  now  in 
the  last  extremity  of  a  tattered  old  age ;  half-a-dozen 
chairs  of  different  patterns,  all  much  shattered  in 
health  and  enfeebled  by  long  years  of  labor,  and  a 
decrepit  lounge  in  the  last  stages  of  a  decline,  were 
the  seats  reserved  for  visitors ;  the  other  furniture  of 
the  room  was  an  antique  chest  of  drawers  of  a  most 
curious  and  complicated  pattern — it  seemed  as  if  the 
mechanic  had  been  uncertain  whether  he  was  to  con- 
struct a  bureau  or  a  cow-shed,  and  had  accordingly 
satisfied  his  conscience  by  making  half-a-dozen 
drawers  and  building  a  sloping  roof  over  them ;  the 
joints  were  warped  apart,  and  through  the  chinks 
could  be  seen  fragments  of  clean  shirt,  and  ends  of 
lace,  and  bits  of  flannel,  suggesting  babies.  At  a 
wink  from  the  female,  the  male  with  the  ponderous 
boots  retired  from  the  presence. 

Mrs.  Pugh  is  a  woman  of  medium  height  and  size, 


Mrs.  Pugh.  113 

with  a  clear  grey  eye,  and  light  hair,  and  wearing 
that  sycophantic  smile  peculiar  to  people  who  have 
much  to  do  with  ugly  babies  whose  beauty  must  be 
constantly  praised  to  the  doting  parents.  She  was 
attired  in  a  neat  calico  dress,  constructed  for  family 
use,  and  for  the  particular  accommodation  of  the 
younger  members  of  the  household. 

Johannes,  who  had  been  taking  a  sly  look,  had 
made  up  his  mind  that  she  would  not  be  quite  so 
objectionable  for  a  wife  as  he  had  feared,  and  he  had 
fully  resolved  to  woo  and  wed  her  off-hand,  provided 
she  had  the  broomstick  of  his  hopes. 

So,  by  way  of  a  beginning,  he  announced  that  he 
would  like  her  to  exercise  her  magic  powers  in  his 
behalf. 

Mrs.  Pugh  had  evidently  previously  regarded  him 
as  an  enthusiastic  young  father  with  a  pair  of  trouble- 
some twins,  who  had  come  to  seek  her  ministrations, 
and  she  undoubtedly  had  high  wages,  innumerable 
presents,  and  exorbitant  perquisites  in  her  mind's  eye 
at  that  instant. 


114          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

"When,  however,  she  learned  that  her  visitor  merely 
wished  to  know  what  the  fates  had  resolved  to  do 
about  his  particular  case,  she  was  slightly  disappointed, 
for  the  babies  are  more  profitable  than  the  planets. 
However,  she  soon  reconciled  herself  to  her  fate,  and 
produced  from  some  cranny  immediately  under  the 
eaves  of  the  cow-shed  bureau,  a  pack  of  cards 
wrapped  up  in  an  old  newspaper.  She  then  carefully 
locked  the  door  to  keep  out  the  children,  and  drew 
down  the  curtains  lest  their  inquiring  minds  should 
lead  them  to  observe  her  mysterious  operations 
through  the  window.  Then  taking  the  wonder-work- 
ing pieces  of  pasteboard  in  her  hands,  and  seating 
herself  opposite  her  visitor,  she  announced  her 
gracious  will,  thus :  "  You  shall  have  six  wishes." 

Then,  without  asking  him  what  he  wished  for,  or 
whether  he  wished  for  anything,  she  shuffled  the 
cards  a  few  seconds,  and  read  off  their  mysterious 
significance  as  follows,  her  curious  and  anxious  cus- 
tomer looking  furtively  around,  meanwhile,  to  spy 
out  the  hiding-place  of  the  wooden  courser: 


Mrs.  Pugh.  115 

"  'Pears  to  me  you  will  have  good  luck  in  futur, 
though  it  seems  to  me  that  you  have  had  a  great  deal 
of  bad  luck  and  misfortune  in  your  life ;  but  you  will 
certainly  do  better  in  your  futur  days  than  you  have 
done  yet  in  your  life,  at  least,  so  it  seems  to  me. 
Tears  to  me  your  good  luck  will  commence  right 
away,  pretty  soon,  immediate,  in  a  very  few  days ; 
you  will  have  some  great  good  luck  befal  you  within 
a  9.  I  designate  time  by  days,  and  weeks,  and  months, 
and  sometimes  years,  so  this  good  luck  of  which  I 
told  you,  you  will  certainly  have  within  9  days,  or 
9  weeks,  or  9  months,  or  possibly  9  years — 9  days  I 
think ;  yes,  I  am  sure ;  within  9  days,  at  least  so  it 
'pears  to  me.  You  are  going  to  make  a  change  in 
your  business,  so  it  seems  to  me — you  are  going  to 
leave  your  present  business,  and  make  a  change ; 
you  will  make  this  change  within  a  7,  which  may  be 
7  days  or  weeks ;  weeks  I  think,  yes  certainly  within 
7  weeks,  at  least  so  it  'pears  to  me — this  change  in 
your  business  which  will  take  place  in  7  days,  or 
weeks,  I  think,  yes  weeks  I'm  sure,  will  be  a  change 


116          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

for  the  better,  and  you  will  profit  by  it  much,  at  least 
so  it  seems  to  me — and  it  will  come  to  pass  within  a 
7 ;  as  I  said  before,  within  a  7,  months  or  days  it  may 
be,  but  weeks  I  think;  yes,  now  I  look  again,  within 
a  7,  weeks  I'm  certain,  at  least,  so  it  'pears  to  me— 
you  will  receive  a  letter  within  a  3  ;  years,  perhaps, 
months,  it  may  be,  but  still  it  looks  like  days ;  yes, 
days  I'm  sure,  days  it  must  be ;  within  a  3,  and  days 
they  are ;  you  will  receive  a  letter  within  3  days,  I'm 
positively  sure,  or  so  it  'pears  to  me.  You  have 
friends  across  water,  from  whom  you  will  hear 
speedily  and  soon,  within  a  5,  which  may  be  months, 
although  I  think  not,  for  it  looks  like  years ;  did  I 
say  years  ?  no,  days ;  yes,  days  it  is  again ;  within  a 
5,  and  days  they  are ;  this  letter  you  will  have  within 
5  days;  it  will  contain  excellent  news,  which  will 
please  you  much ;  money,  the  news  will  be,  and  you 
will  get  the  letter  within  a  5,  which  may  be  months 
or  years,  but  days  it  looks  like,  and  first-rate  news  it 
is,  of  money ;  I  am  positively  certain  that  it  is  within 
a  5,  at  least  it  seems  so  to  me.  You  face  up  good 


Mrs.  Pugh.  117 

luck  and  prosperity,  and  you  will  be  very  rich  before 
you  die,  though  I  do  not  see  how  you  are  to  get  your 
money,  whether  by  business  or  legacy ;  but  you  will 
be  very  rich,  or  so  it  seems  to  me.  You  will  receive 
some  money  within  a  4 ;  it  will  be  in  three  parcels, 
and  there  will  be  considerable  of  it.  You  will  get 
it  in  three  parcels  within  a  4,  not  hours,  nor  years, 
nor  yet  months,  but  weeks ;  money  in  three  parcels 
within  a  4,  and  weeks  they  are,  I'm  certain.  The 
money  will  be  in  three  parcels — three  parcels;  in 
three  parcels  you  will  get  money  within  a  4,  which, 
now  I  look  again,  it  may  be  years,  but  still  I  think 
not.  No,  it  is  weeks;  I'm  certain,  at  least,  so  it 
'pears  to  me.  There  is  a  lady  that  has  a  good  heart 
for  you.  She  is  a  light-complexioned  lady,  with 
black  eyes ;  she  has  a  good  heart  for  you,  and  I  do 
not  see  any  trouble  between  you,  which  means  that 
there  is  no  opposition  to  your  match,  and  that  you 
will  certainly  marry  her  within  a  2,  at  least  so  it 
'pears  to  me.  Within  a  2  you  will  marry  this  light- 
complexioned  lady,  within  a  2,  which  is  not  hours, 


ii8  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

nor  yet  days,  I  think  it  is  months.  I'll  look  again ; 
no,  it  is  not  months,  but  years ;  within  a  2  and  years 
they  are,  yes,  2  years ;  before  a  2,  and  years  they  are, 
this  lady  will  be  your  wife — at  least,  so  it  seems  to 
me.  'Pears  to  me  you  will  get  money  with  her,  I  do 
not  know  how  much,  bat  you  will  certainly  get 
money  in  three  parcels,  as  I  once  remarked  before, 
within  a  4,  which  I'm  sure  is  weeks.  You  will  be 
married  twice ;  once  within  a  2,  once  again  within  a 
5  or  7  after  your  first  wife  dies.  I  think  it  is  a  5, 
though  it  may  be  a  7;  and  months  it  looks  like, 
though  it  may  be  weeks  or  days.  You  will  live  with 
your  first  wife  a  10 ;  days  it  can't  be,  though  it  looks 
like  days — a  10,  you'll  live  with  her  a  10,  can  it  be 
hours,  no,  years  it  is,  it  must  be,  because  you  will 
have  five  children  by  your  first  wife,  which  makes 
it  years — 10  years  it  is,  I  know,  at  least  so  it  'pears 
to  me.  You  will  have  five  children  by  your  first 
wife,  but  you  will  not  raise  them  all.  All  will  die 
but  two,  and  then  your  wife  will  die  within  a  1, 
which  is  a  month,  or  so  it  seems  to  me." 


Mrs.  Pugh.  119 

The  inquirer  was  charmed  with  the  lively  prospect 
of  so  many  funerals,  and  mentally  resolved  to  buy 
a  couple  of  acres  in  Greenwood  for  the  accommoda- 
tion of  his  future  family.  His  meditations  were 
interrupted  by  the  lady,  who  thus  continued: 

4 'You  will  marry  a  second  wife,  but  you  will 
have  trouble  about  her;  there  is  a  dark-complex- 
ioned man  who  interferes,  and  who  will  trouble  you 
for  an  8,  which  may  be  years,  although  I  think  not, 
nor  hours,  nor  days,  but  months;  I'm  sure  it  is — 
yes,  the  dark-complexioned  man  will  trouble  you 
for  an  8,  which  I  am  sure  is  months,  yes,  months 
it  is,  an  8  I  say,  and  months  they  are,  I  am  certain, 
at  least  so  it  'pears  to  me.  By  your  second  wife 
you  will  have  three  children,  who  will  all  live — I 
see  a  funeral  here  within  a  6 ;  it  does  not  look  like 
a  friend  or  a  relative,  but  it  is  some  acquaintance, 
or  the  friend  of  some  acquaintance,  or  the  acquaint- 
ance of  some  friend — the  funeral  is  within  a  6,  but 
it  does  not  come  very  near  to  you — you  will  go  to 
a  wedding  within  a  3,  and  you  will  receive  a  present 


1 2o          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

of  a  ring  within  a  2,  which  may  be  days — you  will 
after  this  be  very  prosperous  and  happy,  you  will 
be  very  long-lived — you  will  get  a  letter  and  a 
present  from  the  light-complexioned  lady  within  a 
9,  which,  as  I  said  before,  it  may  be  hours,  which 
I  think  it  is,  though  weeks  it  may  be,  or  months, 
or  even  years;  though  certainly  within  a  9,  which, 
now  I  look  again,  is  days,  yes,  I  am  sure,  certain, 
within  a  9,  a  letter  and  a  present  from  the  light- 
complexioned  lady,  a  9  it  is  and  days,  within  a  9, 
and  days  they  are,  at  least,  so  it  'pears  to  me." 

Here  ended  the  communication,  and,  on  inquiring 
the  price,  Johannes  was  astonished  to  learn  that  he 
had  received  but  twenty-five  cents'  worth.  Eegret- 
ting  that  he  had  not  invested  a  dollar  in  a  com- 
modity so  "cheap  and  very  filling  at  the  price" 
for  future  consumption,  he  departed,  first  taking  a 
long  lingering  look  to  find,  if  possible,  the  lurking- 
place  of  the  magic  broomstick  charger.  He  didn't 
see  it,  and  gave  it  up,  and  came  away  declaring 
that  such  a  woman  was  not  qualified  to  take  the 


Mrs.  Pugh.  121 

social  position  his  wife  must  assume.  He  did  not, 
however,  wish  to  discourage  her;  he  thought  that 
the  water-melon  trade  might  be  comprehended  by  a 
lady  of  her  abilities,  or  that  she  could  perhaps  tho- 
roughly master  the  pop-corn  and  molasses  candy 
business,  and  make  it  lucrative. 

6 


CHAPTER    VI. 


In  which  are  narrated  the  Wonderful  Workings  of  Madame 

Morrow,    the    "  Astonisher,"  of  No.  76.  Broome 

Street;  and  how,  by  a  Crinolinic  Stratagem, 

the  "Individual"  got  a  Sight  of 

his  "Future  Husband." 


CHAPTER  VI. 

MADAME   MORROW,    THE  ASTONISHER,  No.  76 
BROOME   STREET. 

MADAME  MORROW  is  the  only  one  of  the  fortune- 
telling  fraternity  in  New  York  who  refuses  to 
dispense  her  astrological  favors'  to  both  sexes.  She 
positively  declines  receiving  any  visits  from  "gen- 
tlemen," and  confines  her  business  attention  exclu- 
sively to  "ladies,"  of  whom  many  are  her  regular 
customers.  One  reason  for  this  course  of  conduct 
is,  that  she  imagines  her  own  sex  to  be  the  more 
credulous,  and  more  readily  disposed  to  put  faith 
in  her  claims  to  supernatural  knowledge,  and  she 
naturally  prefers  to  deal  with  believers  rather  than 
with  sceptics.  Her  "  lady "  customers  are  more 
tractable  and  easily  managed  than  men,  and  are  not 


1 26  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

so  apt  to  ask  puzzling  and  impertinent  questions; 
and  as  the  Madame  can  manage  more  of  them  in 
a  day,  of  course  the  pecuniary  return  is  larger  than 
if  she  exercised  her  art  in  behalf  of  curious  mas- 
culinity as  well. 

Of  her  history  before  she  engaged  in  her  present 
business,  not  much  is  known  to  those  who  have 
met  her  only  of  late  years,  for  with  regard  to  her 
early  life  she  chooses  to  exercise  a  politic  reticence. 
The  whole  "  style "  of  the  woman,  however,  her 
dress,  manner,  and  conversation,  are  strong  indica- 
tions that  her  younger  and  more  attractive  days 
were  not  passed  in  a  nunnery,  but  more  probably 
in  establishments  where  "Free  Love"  is  more  than 
a  theory.  The  character  of  the  greater  part  of  her 
"  lady "  visitors  is  of  a  grade  that  goes  to  corrobo- 
rate this  supposition,  and  leads  to  the  belief  that 
among  women  of  doubtful  virtue  "old  acquaintance" 
is  not  easily  "  forgot."  By  far  the  greater  number  of 
Madame  Morrow's  customers  are  girls  of  the  town, 
and  women  of  even  more  disreputable  character. 


Madame  Morrow.  127 

The  fact  that  a  visit  to  this  renowned  sorceress 
must  be  paid  in  a  feminine  disguise,  made  the 
attempt  to  secure  an  interview  of  more  than  ordinary 
interest.  How  this  difficulty  was  mastered,  and  how 
an  entrance  was  finally  effected  into  the  citadel 
from  which  all  mankind  is  rigorously  excluded,  is 
best  told  in  the  words  of  the  "Individual"  who 
accomplished  that  curious  feat. 

How   the  Cash   Customer  visited  the   "Astonisher" — How 
he  was  Astonished — and  How  he  saw  his  Future  Husband. 

The  Cash  Customer  in  pursuit  of  a  wife  had  been 
rebuffed,  but  was  not  disheartened.  He  had,  so  to 
speak,  fought  a  number  of  very  severe  hymeneal 
rounds  and  got  the  worst  of  them  all ;  but  he  had 
taken  his  punishment  like  a  man,  and  had  still 
wind  and  pluck  to  come  up  bravely  to  the  matri- 
monial scratch  when  "time"  was  called,  and  as 
yet  showed  no  signs  of  giving  in.  His  backers,  if 
he'd  had  any,  would  have  still  been  tolerably  sure 


128  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

of  their  money,  and  not  painfully  anxious  to  hedge. 
The  bets  would  have  been  about  even  that  he'd 
win  the  fight  yet,  and  come  out  of  the  battle  a 
triumphant  husband,  instead  of  being  knocked  out 
of  the  field  a  disconsolate  and  discomfited  bachelor. 
But,  although  his  ardor  had  not  cooled,  and 
though  his  strength  and  determination  still  held 
out,  he  had  grown  slightly  cautious,  and  had  con- 
ceived a  plan  for  going  like  a  spy  into  the  camp 
of  the  enemy,  and  there  thoroughly  reconnoitring 
the  positions  that  he  had  to  storm,  and  at  the  same 
time  making  himself  master  of  the  wiles  and  strata- 
gems that  were  the  peculiar  weapons  of  the  female 
foe,  and  so  learn  some  infallible  way  to  capture  a 
first-quality  wife.  At  any  rate,  he  would  give 
himself  the  benefit  of  the  doubt  and  make  the 
experiment.  He  would  a-wooing  go,  not  apparelled 
in  conquering  broadcloth,  in  subjugating  marseilles, 
or  overpowering  doeskin,  but  carrying  the  unaccus- 
tomed, but  not  less  potent  weapons  of  laces,  moire- 
antique,  crinoline,  and  gaiters. 


Madame  Morrow.  129 

In  fact,  there  was  also  a  stern  necessity  in  the  case, 
for  the  lady  on  whom  he  had  now  set  his  young 
affections  was  particular  as  to  her  customers,  and  did 
not  admit  the  shirt-collar  gender  to  the  honor  of 
her  confidence. 

But  was  this  to  stop  him?  If  the  lady  shut  out 
the  whole  masculine  world  from  the  inevitable 
fascinations  of  her  superabundant  charms,  was  it 
not  for  sweet  charity's  sake,  that  a  whole  community 
might  not  go  into  ecstatic  frenzies  over  her  peerless 
beauty,  and  all  men,  being  stricken  in  love  of  the 
same  woman,  go  to  cutting  each  other's  throats 
with  bowie-knives  and  other  modern  improvements  I 

It  was  easy  to  see  that  Madame  Morrow  did  not 
want  to  become  another  Helen,  to  be  abducted  to 
some  modern  Troy,  and  have  a  ten  years'  row,  and 
any  quantity  of  habeas  corpuses,  and  innumerable 
contempts  of  interminable  courts,  after  the  modern 
fashion  of  conducting  a  strife  about  a  runaway 
maiden. 

Such  a  considerate  beauty,  veiling  her  undoubted 
6* 


130          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

fascinations  from  the  rude  gaze  of  man,  from  purely 
prudential  reasons,  must  be  a  prize  of  rare  value, 
and  well  worth  the  winning. 

Her  qualifications  in  magic,  too,  seemed  to  be  of 
the  very  first  order,  to  judge  from  her  notification  to 
the  wonder-seeking  world. 

"ASTONISHING  TO  ALL. — Madame  MORROW  claims  to  be  the 
most  wonderful  astrologist  in  the  world,  or  that  has  ever  been 
known,  as  I  am  the  seventh  daughter  of  the  seventh  daughter, 
who  was  also  a  great  astrologist  I  have  a  natural  gift  to 
tell  past,  present,  and  future  events  of  life.  I  have  astonished 
thousands  during  my  travels  in  Europe.  I  will  tell  how  many 
times  you  are  to  be  married,  how,  soon,  and  will  show  you 
the  likeness  of  your  future  husband,  and  will  cause  you  to 
be  speedily  married,  and  you  will  enjoy  the  greatest  happiness 
of  matrimonial  bliss  and  good  luck  through  your  whole  life.  I 
will  also  show  the  likeness  of  absent  friends  and  relations,  and  I 
will  tell  so  true  all  the  concerns  of  life  that  you  cannot  help 
being  astonished.  No  charge,  if  not  satisfied.  Gentlemen  not 
admitted.  No.  76  Broome  street,  near  Columbia." 

There  was  but  one  thing  in  this  that  troubled  the 


Madame  Morrow.  131 

"  Individual "  with  any  particularly  sharp  pangs.  He 
intended  to  marry  the  Astonisher,  but  he  was  a 
little  bothered  what  to  do  with  the  seven  daughters, 
for  of  course  the  Madame  would  not  fail  to  follow 
the  excellent  example  of  her  revered  mother,  and 
would  never  stop  short  of  the  mystic  number. 

He  finally  concluded  that  all  his  duties  as  a  father 
would  be  faithfully  performed  if  he  taught  them  to 
read,  write,  and  play  on  the  piano,  and  then  gave 
them  each  a  sewing-machine  to  begin  the  world  with. 
He  did  think  of  bringing  them  up  for  the  ballet,  but 
their  success  in  that  profession  being  somewhat  de- 
pendent''on  the  size  and  symmetry  of  their  dancing 
implements,  he  felt  it  would  be  improper  to  positively 
determine  on  that  line  of  business  before  he  had  been 
favored  with  a  sight  of  the  young  ladies.  Eeserving, 
therefore,  his  decision  on  this  knotty  point  until  time 
should  further  develop  the  subject,  he  prepared  for 
the  unsexing  which  was  indicated  as  an  inevitable 
preliminary  to  a  visit  to  Madame  Morrow,  by  the 
sentence  "  Grentlemen  not  admitted." 


132          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

He  proposed  to  get  himself  up  in  a  way  that  would 
slightly  astonish  the  Madame  herself,  although  she 
had  faithfully  promised  in  her  advertisement  to  asto- 
nish him.  He  would  have  been  willing  to  wager  a 
small  sum  that  with  all  her  witchcraft  she  would  be 
unable  to  keep  that  promise,  for  in  the  regular  course 
of  his  business,  he  had  become  so  accustomed  to  mar- 
vels, wonders,  and  miracles,  that  the  upheaval  of  a 
volcano  in  the  Park  wouldn't  discompose  him  unless 
it  singed  his  whiskers.  He  had  a  strong  desire,  how- 
ever, to  realize  the  old  sensation  of  astonishment,  and 
he  was  of  the  opinion  that  the  "  likeness  of  his  future 
husband "  would  accomplish  that  feat  if  anything 
could. 

Heroic  was  Johannes,  and  withal  ingenious,  and 
this  then  was  his  wonderful  plan. 

He  would  visit  this  Madame  Morrow,  not  by  proxy, 
but  in  his  own  proper  person ;  if  not  as  a  man,  then 
as  a  woman;  yes,  he  would  petticoat  himself  up  to  the 
required  dimensions,  if  it  took  a  week  to  tie  on  the 
machinery.  Off  with  the  pantaloons;  on  with  the 


Madame  Morrow.  133 

skirts ;  down  with  the  broadcloth ;  hurrah  for  the  cotton 
and  hej  for  victory,  and  a  look  at  his  future  husband. 

To  an  inventor  of  theatrical  costumes  hied  he 
with  this  fell  design  in  his  heart. 

The  requisite  paraphernalia  were  bargained  for  and 
sent  home  to  the  ambitious  voyager,  who,  at  the  sight 
thereof,  was  "astonished"  in  advance,  and  stricken 
aghast  by  the  complicated  mysteries  of  laces,  ribbons, 
strings,  bones,  buttons,  pins,  capes,  collars,  and  other 
inexplicable  articles  that  met  his  gaze. 

The  question  instantly  occurred,  "Could  he  get 
into  these  things  ?" 

Not  a  bit  of  it ;  he  would  sooner  undertake  to  re- 
port in  short-hand  the  speech  of  a  thunder-cloud, 
and  with  much  better  prospects  of  success.  He  felt 
his  own  insignificance,  and  as  he  looked  out  at  the 
window,  he  regarded  a  passing  female  with  awe.  He 
felt  that  he  was  fast  becoming  imbecile,  not  to  say 
idiotic,  when  he  bethought  him  of  his  friends.  Two 
discreet  married  men,  who  knew  the  ropes,  were 
called  to  the  rescue,  and  began  the  work ;  they  piled 


134         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

on  layer  after  layer  of  the  material,  and  in  the  course 
of  four  or  five  hours  had  built  him  into  a  pyramid 
of  the  proper  size,  when  they  gave  him  their  solemn 
assurance  that  he  was  "  all  right."  He  has  since  dis- 
covered that  they  had  tied  his  under-sleeves  round  his 
ankles,  and  that  the  things  he  wore  on  his  arms  must 
have  belonged  somewhere  else.  There  was  trouble 
about  the  hair,  and  it  required  the  combined  ingenu- 
ity and  wisdom  of  the  masculine  trio  to  keep  the 
bonnet  on,  and  this  difficulty  was  only  overcome  at 
last  by  tying  strings  from  the  inside  of  the  crown  of 
that  invention  to  the  ears  of  the  sufferer. 

Then,  and  not  till  then,  had  anybody  thought 
of  the  whiskers.  They  must  be  sacrificed;  and 
though  the  miserable  victim  to  his  own  ambition 
consented  to  the  disfigurement,  how  was  it  to  be 
accomplished?  The  luckless  Johannes  could  no 
more  sit  down  in  a  barber's  chair  than  the  City 
Hall  could  get  into  an  omnibus.  At  last  he  knelt 
down,  which  was  the  nearest  approach  he  could 
make  to  a  sitting  position,  and  Jenkins,  mounted  on 


Madame  Morrow.  135 

the  bed,  shaved  him  as  well  as  he  could  at  arm's 
length. 

When  the  operation  was  concluded,  his  head 
looked  as  if  it  had  been  parboiled  and  the  skin 
taken  off.  He  didn't  dare  to  curse  Jenkins  for 
his  clumsiness,  knowing  that  if  he  relieved  his  mind 
in  that  desirable  manner,  Jenkins  would  refuse  to 
help  him  undress  when  he  wanted  to  get  out  of  the 
innumerable  manacles  that  now  confined  every  joint. 
He  was  as  helpless  as  a  turtle  that  the  unkind  hand 
of  ruthless  man  has  rolled  over  on  his  back. 

However,  the  disguise  was  complete ;  he  looked  in 
the  glass  and  thought  he  was  his  own  landlady ;  his 
best  friends  wouldn't  have  known  him,  and  the 
teller  of  the  bank  would  have  pronounced  him  a 
forgery  and  refused  to  certify  him;  he  felt  like  a 
full-rigged  clipper  ship,  and  got  under  sail  as  soon 
as  possible  and  bore  down  upon  Madame  Morrow's 
residence.  He  nearly  capsized  as  he  stepped  into 
the  street,  but  he  righted  after  a  heavy  lurch  to  the 
north-east,  and  kept  his  course  without  further  serious 


136         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

disaster.  He  made  a  speedy  run  to  Broome  street, 
the  voyage  being  accomplished  in  less  than  the 
expected  time,  although  a  heavy  sea,  in  the  shape 
of  a  boy  with  a  wheelbarrow,  struck  him  amidships, 
on  the  corner  of  Sheriff  street,  doing  some  damage 
to  his  lower  works  and  carrying  away  a  yard  or 
so  of  lace  from  his  main  skirt.  He  finally  came 
up  to  the  house  in  splendid  style,  and  cast  anchor 
on  the  opposite  sidewalk  to  take  an  observation. 

The  anchorage  was  good,  and  he  rode  securely  for 
a  short  time  until  he  could  repair  damages,  he  having 
carried  away  some  of  his  upper  rigging;  in  other 
words,  he  had  caught  his  veil  on  a  meat-hook  and  had 
been  unable  to  rescue  it.  He  rigged  a  sort  of  jury- 
veil  with  the  end  of  his  shawl,  so  that  he  could  hide 
his  blushing  countenance  in  case  of  too  close  scrutiny. 

Madame  Morrow  lives,  as  he  now  discovered,  in  a 
low,  three-story  brick  house,  which  cannot  be  called 
dirty,  simply  because  that  mild  word  expresses  an 
approximation  towards  cleanliness  which  no  house  in 
this  locality  has  known  for  years.  City  readers  can 


Madame  Morrow.  137 

get  an  idea  of  its  condition  by  understanding  that  it 
is  in  the  worst  part  of  "  The  Hook ;"  to  readers  in 
the  country,  who  have  luckily  never  seen  anything 
filthier  than  a  barn  yard,  no  information  can  be 
given  which  would  meet  the  case.  Sunshine  is  the 
only  protection  for  a  well-dressed  man  against  the 
population  of  this  part  of  the  town.  In  the  twilight 
or  darkness  he  would  be  robbed,  if  not  garroted  and 
murdered.  The  boldest  and  most  desperate  burglars, 
and  others  of  that  stamp,  have  their  homes  about 
here — fathers  who  teach  their  children  the  thief's 
profession,  and  mothers  who  carry  pickpockets  at  the  • 

breast.      In  the  midst  of  this   nest  of   crime  the 

— — ~ 

fortune-teller  has  her  home,  and  here  she  thrives. 

The  daring  man,  protected  by  his  false  colors, 
there  being  no  officious  authority  in  that  neighbor- 
hood to  exercise  the  right  of  search,  came  alongside 
the  house  and  prepared,  metaphorically,  to  board; 
that  is,  he  rang  the  bell. 

He  was  admitted  by  an  Irish  girl,  whose  in- 
crusted  face  showed  that  the  same  deposit  of  dirt 


138         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

had  probably  held  possession  undisturbed  for  weeks. 
They  had  just  entered  the  hall  door  when  two 
small  children,  who  were  contending  for  their 
vested  rights  with  a  big  yellow  dog  that  had 
interfered  with  their  dinner,  commenced  an  un- 
earthly squalling,  which,  for  the  instant,  made  the 
millinery  delegate  fairly  believe  that  Tophet  was 
out  for  noon.  The  Hibernian  maiden,  with  great 
presence  of  mind,  immediately  attempted  to  quiet 
the  storm  by  administering  to  each  inverted  brat 
a  sound  correction,  in  the  manner  usually  adopted 
by  mothers. 

Particulars  are  omitted. 

Then  she  resumed  her  attentions  to  the  stranger, 
and  convoyed  him  into  port  in  the  parlor.  Securely 
harbored  in  this  safe  retreat,  Johannes  took  another 
observation. 

The  room  was  small,  and  what  few  things  were 
in  it  looked  shabby  and  dirty  of  course.  The  prin- 
cipal article  of  furniture  was  a  huge  basketful  of 
soiled  linen,  which  had  probably  been  "taken  in" 


Madame  Morrow.  139 

to  wash,  and  from  a  respectable  family,  for  every 
single  article  looked  ashamed  to  be  caught  in  such 
company,  and  tried  to  burrow  down  out  of  sight. 
Disconsolate  shirts  elbowed  humiliated  socks,  which 
in  turn  kicked  against  mortified  flannels,  or  hid 
themselves  beneath  disconcerted  sheets;  abashed 
shirt-collars  and  humbled  dickies  tried  to  shrink  out 
of  sight  in  very  shame  beneath  a  dishonored  table- 
cloth, the  wine-stains  on  which  showed  it  to  belong  in 
better  society.  A  dejected  and  cast-down  woman 
was  assorting  the  despairing  contents  of  the  basket 
with  a  look  of  desolation. 

The  girl,  who  had  disappeared,  now  returned,  and 
with  an  air  of  mystery  slipped  into  the  hand  of  her 
visitor  a  red  card,  on  which  was  inscribed : 


No  Person  allowed  to  remain  in  the  Establish- 
ment without  a  ticket.  Please  present  this  on 
entering  Madame  Morrow's  room.  Fee  in  full,  $1. 


For  an  hour  and  a  half  after  the  receipt  of  this 


140          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

card  and  the  payment  of  $1  therefor,  did  Johannes 
quietly  wait  in  the  room  with  the  big  basket,  being 
entertained  meanwhile  by  the  two  women  who  con- 
versed with  each  other  upon  the  relative  merits  of 
engines  No.  18  and  27,  and  with  a  long  discussion  as 
to  the  comparative  personal  beauty  of  "Tom"  and 
"Dick,"  who,  it  seemed,  belonged  respectively  to 
those  two  mechanical  constituents  of  our  Fire  Depart- 
ment. 

At  the  end  of  that  time  the  Irish  girl,  who  had 
succeeded  in  establishing  "Dick's"  claim  to  her 
satisfaction,  arose  and  invited  the  stranger  to  the 
room  of  Madame  Morrow. 

He  passed  up  a  narrow  flight  of  stairs,  the  condi- 
tion of  which,  as  to  dirt,  was  concealed  by  no  friendly 
carpet ;  then  he  sailed  into  a  front  parlor  which  was 
furnished  elegantly,  and  perhaps  gorgeously,  with 
carpets,  mirrors,  sofas,  and  all  the  usual  requirements 
of  a  lady's  apartment. 

Madame  herself  appeared  at  the  door.  She  is  a 
tall,  sallow-looking  woman,  with  a  complexion  the 


Madame  Morrow.  141 

color  of  old  parchment :  with  light  brown  eyes  and 
light  hair ;  being  attired  in  a  handsome  delaine  dress 
of  half-mourning,  and  decorated  with  a  costly  cameo 
pin  and  ear-drops,  she  looked  not  unlike  a  servant 
out  for  a  holiday,  making  a  sensation  in  her  mistress's 
finery. 

She  led  her  lovely  visitor  into  a  little  closet-like 
room,  in  which  were  a  bureau,  two  chairs,  a  table, 
and  a  small  stand,  covered  with  a  number  of  her 
business  hand-bills  and  a  pack  of  cards.  She  asked 
first :  "  What  month  was  you  born  ?"  On  receiving 
the  answer,  the  Astonisher  took  a  book  from  the 
bureau  and  read  as  follows:  "A  person  born  in 
this  month  is  of  an  amiable  and  frank  disposition, 
benevolent,  and  an  amiable  and  desirable  partner  in 
the  marriage  relation.  Your  lucky  days  are  Tues- 
days and  Thursdays,  on  which  days  you  may  enter 
on  any  undertaking,  or  attempt  any  enterprise  with 
a  good  prospect  of  success."  Then  she  took  up  the 
cards  again,  and  after  the  usual  shuffling  and  cutting, 
the  Astonisher  fired  away  as  follows. 


142          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

"  You  face  luck,  you  face  prosperity,  you  face  true 
love  and  disinterested  affection,  you  face  a  speedy  mar- 
riage, you  face  a  letter  which  will  come  in  three  days 
and  will  contain  pleasant  news — you  face  a  ring,  you 
face  a  present  of  jewelry  done  up  in  a  small  package ; 
the  latter  will  come  within  two  hours,  two  days,  two 
weeks,  or  two  months — you  face  an  agreeable  sur- 
prise, you  face  the  death  of  a  friend,  you  face  the 
seven  of  clubs  which  is  the  luckiest  card  in  the  pack 
• — you  face  two  gentlemen  with  a  view  to  matrimony, 
one  of  whom  has  brown  hair  and  brown  eyes,  and 
the  other  has  lighter  hair  and  blue  eyes — they  are 
both  thinking  of  you  at  the  present  time,  but  the 
nearest  one  you  face  is  the  one  with  light  eyes — your 
marriage  runs  within  six  or  nine  months." 

There  was  very  much  more  to  the  same  effect,  but  as 
Johannes  was  pining  all  this  time  for  a  look  at  his 
future  husband,  he  did  not  pay  the  strictest  attention 
to  it.  Finally,  when  she  had  finished  talking,  she 
said,  "Step  this  way  and  see  your  future  hus- 
band." 


Madame  Morrow.  143 

This  was  the  eventful  moment. 

The  disguised  one  went  to  the  table  and  there  beheld 
a  pine  box,  about  the  size  of  an  ordinary  candle-box, 
though  shallower;  it  was  unpainted,  and  decidedly 
unornamental  as  an  article  of  furniture.  In  one  end 
of  it  was  an  aperture  about  the  size  of  the  eye-hole  of 
a  telescope ;  this  was  carefully  covered  with  a  small 
black  curtain.  This  mystic  contrivance  was  placed 
upon  a  table  so  low  that  the  husband-seeker  was 
compelled  to  go  on  his  knees  to  get  his  eye  down 
low  enough  to  see  through.  He  accomplished  this 
feat  without  grumbling,  although  his  knees  were 
scarified  by  the  whalebones  which  surrounded  him. 
The  Astonisher  then  drew  aside  the  little  curtain 
with  a  grand  flourish,  and  her  customer  beheld  an 
indistinct  figure  of  a  bloated  face  with  a  mustache, 
with  black  eyes  and  black  hair ;  it  was  a  hang-dog, 
thief-like  face,  and  one  that  he  would  not  have  passed 
in  the  street  without  involuntarily  putting  his  hands 
on  his  pockets  to  assure  himself  that  all  was  right. 


144         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

But  lie  felt  tha^  lie  had  no  hope  of  a  future  husband 
if  he  did  not  accept  this  one,  and  he  made  up  his 
mind  to  be  reconciled  to  the  match. 

This  contrivance  for  showing  the  "future  hus- 
band "  is  sometimes  called  the  Magic  Mirror,  and  may 
be  procured  at  any  optician's  for  a  dollar  and  a 
quarter.  The  "future  husband"  may  of  course  be 
varied  to  suit  circumstances,  by  merely  shifting  the 
pictures  at  one  end  of  the  instrument ;  or  a  horse  or  a 
dog  might  be  substituted  with  equal  propriety  and 
probability. 

Disappointed,  and  sick  at  heart  and  stomach,  the 
Cash  Customer  bore  away  for  home,  and  accomplished 
the  return  voyage  without  disaster.  He  didn't  so 
much  mind  the  unexpected  difference  in  the  personal 
attractions  of  Madame  Morrow  from  what  he  had 
hoped,  for  he  had  been  rather  accustomed  to  disap- 
pointments of  that  sort  of  late,  but  he  couldn't  see 
that  his  admission  to  the  camp  of  the  enemy  had 
enabled  him  to  spy  out  anything  of  particular  advan- 


Madame  Morrow.  145 

tage  to  him  in  future  operations.  So  he  cogitated 
and  mournfully  whistled  slow  tunes,  as  he  cut 
himself  out  of  his  unaccustomed  harness  by  the  help 

of  a  pen-knife  with  a  file-blade. 

7 


CHAPTER    VII. 


Contains    a    full    account    of    the    interview    of    the    Cash 

Customer  with  Doctor  Wilson,  the  Astrologer,  of 

No.    172  Delancey   Street.       The  Fates 

decree  that  he  shall  "  pizon  his 

first  Wife."     HOORAY!! 


CHAPTER  VII. 

DR.   WILSON,   No.  172   DELANCEY   STREET. 

THIS  ignorant,  half-imbecile  old  man  is  the  only 
wizard  in  New  York  whose  fame  has  become  public. 
There  are  several  other  men  who  sometimes,  as  a 
matter  of  favor  to  a  curious  friend,  exercise  their 
astrological  skill,  but  they  do  not  profess  witchcraft 
as  a  means  of  living;  they  do  not  advertise  their 
gifts,  but  only  dabble  in  necromancy  in  an  amateur 
way,  more  as  a  means  of  amusement  than  for  any 
other  purpose.  On  the  other  hand  Dr.  Wilson  freely 
uses  the  newspapers  to  announce  to  the  public  his 
star-reading  ability,  and  his  willingness,  for  a  con- 
sideration, to  tell  all  events,  past  and  future,  of  a 
paying  customer's  life.  He  professes  to  do  all  his 
fortune-telling  in  a  "strictly  scientific"  manner,  and 


150          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

it  is  but  justice  to  him  to  say,  that  he  alone,  of  all  the 
witches  of  New  York,  drew  a  horoscope,  consulted 
books  of  magic,  made  intricate  mathematical  calcula- 
tions, and  made  a  show  of  being  scientific.  In  his 
case  only  was  any  attempt  made  to  convince  the 
seeker  after  hidden  wisdom,  that  modern  fortune- 
telling  is  aught  else  than  very  lame  and  shabby  guess- 
work. The  old  Doctor  has  by  no  means  so  many 
customers  as  many  of  his  female  rivals;  he  is  old 
and  unprepossessing — were  he  young  and  handsome 
the  case  might  be  otherwise. 

He  has  been  a  pretended  "  botanic  physician,"  or 
what  country  people  term  a  "root  doctor;"  but 
failing  to  earn  a  living  by  the  practice  of  medicine, 
he  took  up  "Demonology  and  Witchcraft"  to  aid 
him  to  eke  out  a  scanty  subsistence.  He  does  but 
little  in  either  branch  of  his  business,  the  pub- 
lic appearing  to  have  slight  faith  in  his  ability 
either  to  cure  their  maladies  or  foretell  their 
future. 

The  character  of  his  surroundings  is  noted  in  the 


Dr.  Wilson.  151 

following  description,  and  his  oracular  communica- 
tion is  given,  word  for  word. 

An    Hour    with   a   Wizard. — The   Cash    Customer    is    to 
"  Pizon  "  his  First  Wife,  and  then  get  Another.     Hooray  ! 

"  I  am  like  a  vagabond  pig  with  no  family  ties,  who 
has  no  lady  pig  to  welcome  him  home  o'nights,  and 
with  no  tender  sucklings  to  call  him  *  papa,'  in  that 
prattling  porcine  language  that  must  fall  so  sweetly 
on  the  ears  of  all  parents  of  innocent  porklings. 
Like  Othello,  I  have  no  wife,  and  really  I  can  see 
little  hope  in  the  future." 

Thus  moralized  the  "Individual;"  the  morning 
after  his  experiment  with  the  women's  gear,  and  his 
failure  to  learn,  at  a  single  lesson,  the  whole  art  of 
catching  a  wife.  Then  he  bethought  him  that  per- 
haps the  art  could  not  be  learned  without  a  master ; 
and  then  came  the  other  thought  that  no  one  could 
tell  so  well  how  to  win  a  witch- wife  as  one  who  had 
himself  been  successful  in  that  risky  experiment. 

To  find  a  man  with  a  fortune-telling  wife  is  no 


152          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

easy  matter,  for  most  of  the  marriages  contracted  by 
these  ladies  are  by  no  means  of  a  permanent 
character,  and  the  male  parties  to  the  temporary 
partnerships  are  always  kept  in  the  background. 
But  if  he  could  discover  up  a  wizard,  a  masculine 
master  of  the  Black  Art,  there  were  strong  proba- 
bilities that  such  an  individual  could  put  him  in  the 
way  of  winning  a  miracle-working  spouse,  at  the 
very  least  possible  trouble  and  expense.  He  would 
seek  that  man  as  a  preliminary  to  winning  that 
woman.  The  daily  newspapers  showed  him  that  in 
the  person  of  a  learned  doctor,  surnamed  Wilson, 
he  would  probably  find  the  man  he  wanted.  He 
searched  out  that  wonderful  man,  and  the  result?. 
of  his  visit  are  given  in  this  identical  chapter. 

Old  dreamy  Sol  Gills,  of  coffee-colored  memory, 
has  been  admiringly  recommended  to  the  good 
opinion  of  the  world  by  his  friend,  Capt.  Ed'ard 
Cuttle,  mariner  of  England,  as  a  man  "chock  full 
of  science."  From  the  same  eminent  authority  we 
also  learn  that  Jack  Bunsby  was  an  individual  of 


Dr.  Wilson.  153 

learning  so  vast,  and  experience  so  varied  and  com- 
prehensive, that  he  never  opened  his  oracular  mouth 
but  out  fell  "  solid  chunks  of  wisdom."  That  the 
person  now  dwells  in  our  city  who  combines  the 
scientific  attainments  of  Gills  with  the  intuitive 
wisdom  of  Bunsby,  we  have  the  solemn  word  of 
Johannes.  The  science  is  a  trifle  more  dreamy  and 
misty  even  than  of  old,  and  the  wisdom  is  solider 
and  chunkier,  but  both  are  as  undeniable,  as  con- 
vincing, as  "  stunning,"  as  in  the  best  days  of  the 
Little  Wooden  Midshipman.  The  fortunate  possessor 
of  this  inestimable  wealth  of  knowledge  secludes 
himself  from  the  curious  public  in  the  basement  of 
the  house  No.  172  Delancey  street,  like  an  under- 
ground hermit.  However,  this  unselfish  and  gene- 
rous sage,  not  wishing  to  hide  entirely  the  light  of 
his  great  learning  from  a  benighted  world,  kindly 
condescends,  in  the  advertisement  herewith  given, 
to  retail  his  wisdom  to  anxious  inquirers  at  a  dollar 
a  chunk: 

"ASTROLOGY. — Dr.  Wilson,  172   Delancey  street,  gives   the 


154         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

most  scientific  and  reliable  information  to  be  found  on  all 
concerns  of  life,  past,  present,  and  future.  Terms — ladies,  50 
cents;  gentlemen,  $1.  Birth  required." 

The  last  sentence  is  slightly  obscure,  and  it  was 
not  quite  clear  to  Johannes  that  he  would  not  have 
to  be  "  born  again "  on  the  premises.  But  at  all 
events  there  was  something  refreshing  in  the  novelty 
of  consulting  a  "  learned  pundit "  in  pantaloons,  after 
all  the  tough  conjurers  of  the  other  sex  that  he  had 
undergone  of  late. 

So  he  repaired  to  Delancey  street  in  a  joyous 
mood,  nothing  daunted  by  the  requirements  of  the 
advertisement. 

Delancey  street  is  not  Paradise,  quite  the  contrary. 
In  fact  it  may  be  set  down  as  unsavory,  not  to  say 
dirty  in  the  extreme.  The  man  that  can  walk 
through  the  east  end  of  this  delicious  thoroughfare 
without  a  constant  sensation  of  sea-sickness,  has  a 
stomach  that  would  be  true  to  him  in  a  dissecting- 
room.  The  individual  that  can  explore  with  his 
unwilling  boots  its  slimy  depths  without  a  feeling  of 


Dr.  Wilson.  155 

the  most  intense  disgust  for  everything  in  the  city 
and  of  the  city,  ought  to  live  in  Delancey  street  and 
buy  his  provisions  at  the  corner  grocery.  He  never 
ought  to  see  the  country,  or  even  to  smell  the  breath 
of  a  country  cow.  He  should  be  exiled  to  the  city ; 
be  banished  to  perpetual  bricks  and  mortar ;  be  con- 
demned to  a  never-ending  series  of  omnibus  rides, 
and  to  innumerable  varieties  of  short  change. 

The  delegate  picked  his  way  gingerly  enough, 
thinking  all  the  while  that  if  Leander  had  been  com- 
pelled to  wade  through  Delancey  street,  instead  of 
taking  a  clean  swim  across  the  sea,  Hero  might  have 
died  a  respectable  old  maid  for  all  Leander.  And 
yet  Johannes  says  he  doesn't  believe  that  History 
will  give  him  any  credit  for  his  valorous  navigation 
of  the  said  street. 

He  at  last  reached  the  designated  spot,  sound  as  to 
body,  though  wofully  soiled  as  to  garments,  and 
approached  the  semi-subterranean  abode  of  the  great 
prophet,  and  immediately  after  his  modest  rap  at  the 
basement  door,  was  met  by  the  venerable  sage  in 


156         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

person.     He  walked  in,  and  then  proceeded  to  take 
an    observation    of  the   cabalistic   instruments    and 
mysterious  surroundings  of  the  great  philosopher. 
The  room  was  a  small,  low  apartment,  about  ten 

«x 

feet  by  twelve,  the  floor  uncarpeted  and  uneven ;  the 
walls  were  damp,  and  the  whole  place  was  like  a 
vault.  The  furniture  was  very  scanty,  and  all  had 
an  unwholesome  moisture  about  it,  and  a  curious 
odor,  as  if  it  gathered  unhealthy  dews  by  being  kept 
underground.  Three  feeble  chairs  were  all  the  seats, 
and  a  table  which  leaned  against  the  wall  was  too  ill 
and  rickety  to  do  its  intended  duty;  many  of  the 
books  which  had  once  probably  covered  it,  were  now 
thrown  in  a  promiscuous  heap  on  the  floor,  where 
they  slowly  mildewed  and  gave  out  a  graveyard  smell. 
A  miniature  stove  in  the  middle  of  the  room,  sweated 
and  sweltered,  and  in  its  struggles  to  warm  the 
unhealthy  atmosphere  had  succeeded  in  suffusing 
itself  with  a  clammy  perspiration ;  it  was  in  the  last 
stages  of  debility;  old  age  and  abuse  had  used  it 
sadly,  and  it  now  stood  helplessly  upon  its  crippled 


Dr.  Wilson.  157 

legs,  and  supported  its  nerveless  elbow  upon  a  sturdy 
whitewash  brush.  There  were  a  few  symptoms  of 
medical  pretensions  in  the  shape  of  some  vials,  and 
bottles  of  drugs,  and  colored  liquids  on  the  mantel- 
piece ;  a  great  attempt  at  a  display  of  scientific  appa- 
ratus began  and  ended  with  an  insulating  stool,  and 
an  old-fashioned  "  cylinder  and  cushion "  electrical 
machine;  a  number  of  highly -colored  prints  of 
animals  pasted  on  the  wall,  having  evidently  been 
scissored  from  the  show-bill  of  a  menagerie,  had  a 
look  towards  natural  history,  and  a  jar  or  two  of 
acids  suggested  chemical  researches.  The  books 
that  still  remained  on  the  enervated  table  were  an 
odd  volume  of  Braithwaite's  Retrospect,  a  treatise 
on  Human  Physiology,  and  another  on  Materia 
Medica;  a  number  of  bound  volumes  of  Zadkiel's 
Astronomical  Ephemeris,  Raphael's  Prophetic  Alma- 
nac, Raphael's  Prophetic  Messenger,  and  a  file  of 
Robert  White's  Celestial  Atlas,  running  back  to 
1808. 
The  appearance  of  the  venerable  sage  of  Delancey 


158         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

street  was  not  so  imposing  as  to  strike  a  stranger 
with  awe — quite  the  contrary.  He  partook  of  the 
character  of  the  room,  and  was  a  fitting  occupant  of 
such  a  place ;  he  seemed  some  kind  of  unwholesome 
vegetable  that  had  found  that  noisome  atmosphere 
congenial,  and  had  sprung  indigenously  from  the 
slimy  soil.  One  looked  instinctively  at  his  feet  to  see 
what  kind  of  roots  he  had,  and  then  glanced  back  at 
his  head  as  if  it  were  a  huge  bud,  and  about  to  blos- 
som into  some  unhealthy  flower.  The  traces  of  its 
earthy  origin  were  plainly  visible  about  this  mouldy 
old  plant ;  quantities  of  the  rank  soil  still  adhered  to 
the  face,  filled  up  the  wrinkles  of  the  cheeks,  found 
ample  lodging  in  the  ears  and  on  the  neck,  and 
crowding  under  the  horny  and  distorted  nails,  made 
them  still  more  ugly  ;  and  streaks  and  ridges  of  dirt 
clung  to  every  portion  of  the  garments,  which 
answered  to  the  bark  or  rind  of  this  perspiring  herb. 
To  drop  this  botanic  figure  of  speech,  Dr.  Wilson 
is  a  man  of  about  fifty-eight  years  of  age,  rather  stout 
and  thick-set,  with  grey  eyes,  and  hair  which  was 


Dr.  Wilson.  159 

once  brown,  but  is  now  grey,  and  with  thin  brown 
whiskers ;  the  top  of  his  head  is  nearly  bald,  except 
a  few  thin,  furzy,  short  hairs,  which  made  his  skull 
look  as  if  it  had  been  kept  in  that  damp  room  until 
mould  had  gathered  on  it.  He  was  in  his  shirt  sleeves, 
and  was  attired,  for  the  most  part,  in  a  pair  of  sheep's 
grey  pantaloons,  which  were  made  to  cover  that  frac- 
tion of  his  body  between  his  ankles  and  his  armpits ; 
the  little  patch  of  shirt  that  was  visible  above  the 
waistband  of  that  garment,  was  streaked  with  irregu- 
lar lines  of  dirty  black,  as  if  it  had  gone  into  half 
mourning  for  the  scarcity  of  water. 

The  man  of  science  made  a  musty  remark  or  two 
about  the  weather  and  the  walking,  and  then,  after 
carefully  seating  himself  at  the  decrepit  table,  he 
said :  "I  suppose  your  business  is  of  a  fortun'-tellin7 

natur ;  if  so,  my  terms  is  one  dollar."     The  affirma- 

• 
tive  answer  to  the  question  and  the  payment  of  the 

dollar  put  new  energy  into  the  mouldy  old  man,  and 
he  prepared  to  astonish  the  beholder. 

He   demanded  the  age   of  his  visitor,    and  then 


160         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

desired  to  be  informed  of  the  date  of  his  birth,  with 
particular  reference  to  the  exact  time  of  day  • 
Johannes  drummed  up  his  youthful  recollections  of 
that  interesting  event,  and  gave  the  day,  the  hour, 
and  the  minute,  with  his  accustomed  accuracy.  The 
sage  made  an  exact  minute  of  these  wet-nurse  items 
on  a  cheap  slate  with  a  stub  of  a  pencil ;  then  taking 
another  cheap  slate,  he  proceeded  to  draw  a  horoscope 
thereon,  pausing  a  little  over  the  signs  of  the  zodiac, 
as  if  he  was  a  little  out  in  his  astronomy,  and  wasn't 
exactly  certain  whether  there  should  be  twelve  or 
twenty.  He  settled  this  little  matter  by  filling  one 
half  the  slate  as  full  as  it  would  hold,  and  then  car- 
rying some  to  the  other  side,  so  as  to  have  a  few  on 
hand  in  case  of  any  emergency. 

When  the  figure  was  drawn,  and  all  the  mysterious 
signs  completed,  the  shirt-sleeve  prophet  became 
absorbed  in  an  intricate  calculation  of  such  mysteri- 
ous import  that  all  his  customer's  mathematical 
proficiency  was  unable  to  make  out  what  it  was  all 
about.  First  he  set  down  a  long  row  of  figures, 


Dr.  Wilson.  161 

which  he  added  together  with  much  difficulty,  and 
then  seemed  to  instantly  conceive  the  most  unrelent- 
ing hostility  to  the  sum  total.  The  mathematical 
tortures  to  which  he  put  that  unhappy  amount ;  the 
arithmetical  abuse  which  he  heaped  upon  it,  and 
the  algebraic  contumely  with  which  he  overwhelmed 
it,  almost  defy  description.  He  first  belabored 
it  with  the  four  simple  rules ;  he  stretched  it 
with  Addition ;  he  cut  it  in  two  with  Subtrac- 
tion; he  made  it  top-heavy  with  Multiplication, 
and  tore  it  to  pieces  with  Division — then  he  ex- 
tracted its  square  root;  then  extracted  the  cube 
root  of  that,  which  left  nothing  of  the  unfortunate 
sum  total  but  a  small  fraction,  which  he  then  divided 
by  abj  and  made  "  equal  to  "  an  infinitesimal  part  of 
some  unknown  x.  Having  thus  wreaked  his  ven- 
geance on  the  unhappy  number,  he  laid  away  the 
surviving  fraction  in  a  cold  corner  of  the  slate,  where 
he  left  it,  first,  however,  giving  a  parting  token  of 
his  bitter  malignity  by  writing  the  minus  sign  before 
it,  which  made  it  perpetually %  worse  than  nothing, 


1&2         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

and  reduced  it  to  a  state  of  irredeemable  algebraic 
bankruptcy.  This  praiseworthy  object  being  finally 
achieved,  he  proceeded  to  translate  into  intelligible 
English  the  result  of  his  calculations,  which  he 
announced  in  the  terms  following : 

"  The  testimonial  is  not  the  most  sanguine.  If  the 
tune  of  birth  is  given  correct  there  is  reason  to 
apprehend  that  something  of  an  affective  nature 
occurred  at  about  eight  years  and  ten  months — at 
16x10  I  think  I  may  say,  if  the  time  of  birth  is 
given  correct,  there  is  from  the  figures  reason  to 
expect  that  there  is  a  probability  of  a  similar  sitiwa- 
tion  of  events.  At  24  there  was  a  favorable  sitiwa- 
tion  of  events,  if  there  was  not  somebody  or  somethin' 
afflictive  on  the  contrary,  the  which  I  am  disposed 
to  think  might  be  possible.  At  25,  if  the  time  of 
birth  is  given  correct,  there  is  reason  to  expect  great 
likelihoods  of  some  success  in  life  ;  I  may,  it  is  true, 
be  mistaken  in  my  calculations,  but  as  the  significa- 
tors  are  angular,  I  think  there  is  indications  that  such 
will  be  the  sitiwatioii  of  events.  At  30,  if  the  time 


Dr.  Wilson.  *  163 

of  birth,  is  given  correct,  I  think  you  are  an  individ- 
dyal  as  may  look  for  some  species  of  misfortin — 
there  will  be  some  rather  singular  circumstances 
occur,  which  might  denote  loss  of  friends,  or  the 
fallin7  to  you  of  a  fortin,  or  great  travellin'  by  water 
or  land,  or  losin'  money  at  cards,  or  breakin'  your 
leg,  or  makin7  a  great  discovery,  or  inventin'  some- 
thin7,  or  gettin'  put  into  prison  on  suspicion  of 
sorcery  and  witchcraft.  You  will  see  that  there  are 
indications  to  denote  that  you  will  certainly  be 
accused  of  sorcery  and  witchcraft  by  some  individ- 
dyals  who  are  not  your  friends — the  indications 
denote  great  likelihoods  that  this  will  make  you 
uneasy  in  your  mind,  but  I  think  there  is  nothin7 
of  a  very  serious  natur7  to  be  feared  at  that  time  of 
life,  if  the  time  of  birth  is  given  correct.  When  any 
misfortin7  is  comin7  upon  you  there  is  no  doubt 
(though 'I  am  not  goin7  to  state  positively  that  such 
will  be  the  case,  still  there  is  strong  likelihoods  that 
the  indications  give  such  a  probability)  that  it  will 
give  you  warnin7  of  its  approach.  At  36,  if  the  time 


164         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

of  birth  is  given  correct,  there  is  indications  of  a 
likelihood  that  you  will  fall  upon  some  other  misfor- 
tin' ;  I  am  not  prepared  to  state  positively  that  such 
will  be  the  case,  but  I  think  you  will  have  a  mis- 
fortin7,  though  I  don't  think  it  would  be  of  a  very 
afflictive  natur7.  There  is  at  that  time  a  circumstance 
of  an  unfriendly  natur7,  though  it  may  not  happen 
to  yourself;  it  might  denote  that  your  brother  will 
get  sick.  There  is  another  evil  condition  about  this 
time  which  I  will  examine  still  furder.  I  see  that 
there  is  indications  of  a  likelihood  that  there  is  a 
probability  of  your  having  somethin7  amiss  by  a 
partner,  if  somethin7  of  a  favorable  natur7  does 
not  interpose,  which  is  not  unlikely,  though  I  may 
be  mistaken  and  will  not  say  positively.  You  will 
be  lucky,  however,  after  that,  and  many  of  your  evils 
will  gradually  begin  to  recline,  as  it  were.  There  is 
reason  to  believe  that  the  significators  denote  that  in 
the  course  of  your  futur7  life  you  will  sometimes  be 
thrown  in  with  men  who  you  will  think  is  your 
friends,  but  who  will  prove  to  be  your  enemy.  This 


Dr.  Wilson.  165 

I  will  not  say  positively,  for  I  may  be  mistaken, 
which  I  think  I  am  not,  but  if  the  time  of  birth  is 
correct,  you  are  an  individdyal  as  gives  likelihoods 
that  such  might  be  the  case." 

For  more  than  an  hour  had  the  Inquirer  been 
edified  and  instructed  by  these  "  solid  chunks  of 
wisdom,"  which,  it  will  be  remembered,  were  not 
delivered  off-hand,  but  were  carefully  ciphered  out 
by  elaborate  calculations  on  the  slate  aforesaid. 
Lucid  and  elegant  as  was  the  language,  and  inte- 
resting as  was  the  matter  of  these  oracular  communi- 
cations, he  felt  it  to  be  his  duty  to  interrupt  them 
for  a  time  and  change  the  subject  to  a  theme  in 
which  he  felt  a  nearer  interest ;  accordingly  he  asked 
the  musty  Seer  about  his  prospects  of  future  wedded 
bliss.  This  was  a  subject  of  so  great  importance 
that  all  the  other  calculations  had  to  be  erased  from 
the  slate — this  little  operation  was  accomplished  in 
the  manner  of  the  schoolboys  who  haint  got  any 
sponge,  and  the  dirty  hand  plied  briskly  for  a  minute 
between  the  juicy  mouth  and  the  dingy  slate,  and 


166         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

became  a  shade  grimier  by  this  cleanly  process. 
Then  a  new  horoscope  was  drawn  with  more  signs  of 
the  zodiac  than  ever,  and  in  due  time  the  result  was 
thus  announced: 

"I  shall  now  endeavor  to  give  you  a  description 
of  the  sort  of  person  you  might  be  most  likeliest  to 
marry.  There  is  indications  that  your  wife  might  be 
respectable.  The  significators  do  not  denote  that 
there  is  a  likelihood  that  you  might  marry  a  very 
old  woman.  She  would  be  as  likely  to  have  fair  hair 
and  blue  eyes  as  anything  else;  nor  would  she  be 
likely  to  be  very  much  too  tall,  and  I  don't  imagine 
you  are  an  individdyal  that  might  be  likely  to  marry 
a  woman  who  was  very  short.  She  may  not  be  very 
old,  but  I  do  not  think  that  the  indications  point  her 
out  as  being  likely  to  be  a  child ;  in  fact,  I  think  it 
possible  that  she  may  be  of  the  ordinary  age,  though 
I  do  not  wish  to  be  understood  as  being  positive  on 
all  these  points,  for  I  may  be  mistaken,  though  I 
think  you  will  find  that  there  is  a  likelihood  that 
these  things  may  be  so.  You  will  be  married  twice, 


Dr.   Wilson.  167 

and  I  think  you  are  an  individdyal  that  would  be 
likely  to  have  children — six  children  I  think  there  is 
indications  that  you  may  be  likely  to  have.  The 
significators  point  out  one  very  evil  condition,  and  I 
think  I  may  say  that  I'm  quite  sure.  I'm  positive 
that  you  will  separate  from  your  first  wife.  No,  I 
will  not  say  that  yours  is  a  quarrelsome  natur',  but 
the  significators  look  bad.  Things  is  worse,  in  fact, 
than  I  told  you  of,  and  now  I  look  again  and  am 
sure  you  are  prepared,  I  will  say  that  there  cannot 
be  a  doubt  that  you  will  pizon  your  first  wife.  It  can- 
not be  any  other  way ;  there  is  no  mistake ;  it  is  so  ; 
it  must  be  true;  the  fact  is  this,  and  thus  I  tell  you, 
you  ivill  pizon  your  first  wife.  And,  my  young  friend, 
I  will  advise  you,  in  case  your  married  futur'  is 
unhappy,  and  you  do  find  it  necessary  to  give  pizon 
to  your  consort,  do  not  tell  anybody  of  your  inten- 
tions ;  do  not  let  it  be  known ;  and  you  must  do  it  in 

v 
such  a  way  as  not  to  be  suspected,  or  people  will 

think  hard  of  you,  and  there  may  be  trouble." 

This  was  a  touch  of  wisdom  for  which  Johannes 


168         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

was  not  prepared ;  so  lie  snatched  his  hat  and  hastily 
left  the  sepulchral  premises,  conscious  of  his  inability 
to  receive  another  such  a  " chunk"  without  being 
completely  floored. 

He  now  expresses  the  opinion  that  Dr.  Wilson 
wanted  to  get  the  job  of  "  pizoning  "  that  first  wife, 
and  that  he  would  have  done  it  with  pleasure  at  less 
than  the  market  price. 


CHAPTER    VIII. 


Gives  a  history   of  how  Mrs.  Hayes,    the    Clairvoyant,  of 
No.    176  Grand  Street,  does  the  Conjuring  Trick. 

8 


Or  TKE 

NIVERSJTY 

Of 
fF 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

MRS.  HAYES,  A  CLAIRVOYANT,  No.  176  GRAND 
STREET. 

THERE  are  a  dozen  or  more  of  these  "Clairvoyants" 
in  the  city  who  profess  to  cure  diseases,  and  to  work 
other  wonders  by  the  aid  of  their  so-called  wonderful 
power.  As  their  mode  of  proceeding  is  very  much 
the  same  in  all  cases,  a  description  of  one  or  two  will 
give  an  idea  of  the  whole.  Their  principal  business 
is  to  prescribe  for  bodily  ills,  and  did  they  confine 
themselves  to  this  alone,  they  would  not  be  legitimate 
subjects  of  mention  in  this  book.  But  in  addition  to 
their  medical  practice  they  also  tell  about  "absent 
friends;"  tell  whether  projected  business  undertakings 
will  fall  out  well  or  ill;  whether  contemplated  mar- 
riages will  be  prosperous  or  otherwise :  whether  a 


172         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

person  will  be  "lucky"  in  life,  whether  his  children 
will  be  happy,  and,  in  short,  they  do  pretty  much  the 
regular  fortune-telling  routine,  whenever  the  questions 
of  the  customer  lead  that  way. 

The  theory  as  given  by  them,  of  a  Clairvoyant 
diagnosis  of  a  malady,  is  this :  that  the  Clairvoyant, 
when  thrown  by  mesmeric  influence  into  the  "  trance" 
state,  is  enabled  to  see  into  Hie  body  of  tfie  patient  and 
discern  what  organs,  if  any,  are  deranged,  and  in  what 
manner ;  or  to  ascertain  precisely  the  nature  of  the 
morbific  condition  of  the  body,  and  having  thus 
discovered  what  part  of  the  vital  mechanism  is  out  of 
order,  they  are  able,  they  argue,  to  prescribe  the  best 
means  for  restoring  the  apparatus  to  a  normal  state. 

There  are  many  thousands  of  persons  who  believe 
this  stuff,  and  endanger  their  lives  and  health  by 
trusting  to  these  empirics.  Several  of  the  most  popular 
of  them  have  as  many  patients  as  they  can  attend  to, 
and  are  rapidly  amassing  fortunes.  Most  of  them  have 
a  superficial  knowledge  of  Medicine,  and  are  thus 
enabled  to  do,  with  a  certain  amount  of  impunity, 


Mrs.  Hayes.  173 

many  dark  deeds.  It  is  reported  of  more  than  one  of 
these  women  that  she  has  done  as  many  deeds  of  child- 
murder  as  did  even  the  notorious  Madame  Restell. 

In  this  regard,  they  are  among  the  most  dangerous 
and  criminal  of  all  the  Witches. 

The  "  Individual "  visited  Mrs.  Hayes,  who  is  one 
of  the  most  ignorant  of  the  whole  lot,  and  Mrs.  Sey- 
mour, who  is  one  of  the  most  intelligent  of  all.  He 
sets  down  the  particulars  of  his  visit  to  the  former,  in 
the  words  following : 

How  the  "Individual"  sees  a  Clairvoyant — How  he  pays  a 
Dollar,  and  what  he  gets  for  his  money. 

"Not  all  the  sorcery  of  all  the  sorcerers ;  not  all  the 
necromancy  of  all  the  necromancers ;  not  all  the  con- 
jurations of  all  masculine  conjurers ;  not  all  the  magic 
of  all  male  magicians ;  not  all  the  charming  of  all  the 
charmers,  charm  they  never  so  wisely,  could  have 
induced  Johannes  to  ever  more  place  the  slightest  trust 
in  a  wizard,  or  repose  in  any  wonderworker  of  the 
bearded  sex  the  merest  trifle  of  faith,  even  the  most 


174         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

infinitesimal  trituration  of  the  homoeopathicest  grain. 
The  single  dose  he  had  received  from  the  renowned 
Doctor  Wilson  was  quite  enough,  and  had  satisfied  all 
his  longings  for  wisdom  of  that  sort. 

Besides,  his  coming  events  cast  such  peculiar  and 
very  unpleasant  shadows  before,  that  he  preferred  to 
keep  out  of  the  grim  presence  of  such  shady  men, 
and  for  all  after  time  to  bask  him  only  in  the  sunshine 
of  smiling  women. 

"  Pizon  his  first  wife"  would  he?  Well,  he  could 
have  taken  that  "pizon"  with  tolerable  composure 
from  the  lips  of  lovely  woman,  but  to  receive  it 
from  the  mumbling  mouth  of  a  skinny  old  man,  was 
too  much  to  accept  without  divers  rebellious  grins. 

A  peach-cheeked  witch,  a  cherry -lipped  conjuress  • 
a  Circe,  with  only  enough  charms  to  make  a  respecta- 
ble photograph,  might  with  impunity  have  called  him 
a  counterfeiter,  or  a  horse-thief,  or  even  a  thimble- 
rigger  ;  or  might  have  told  him  that  he  would,  upon 
opportunity,  garotte  his  grandmother  for  the  small 
price  of  seventy  cents  and  her  snuff-box ;  or  that  he 


Mrs.  Hayes.  175 

was  in  the  habit  of  attending  funerals  to  pick  the 
pockets  of  the  mourners,  and  of  going  to  church  that 
he  might  steal  the  pennies  from  the  poor-box,  all  this 
would  he  have  borne  uncomplainingly  from  a  woman ; 
but  these  unpalatable  statements  from  one  of  the  mas- 
culine gender  would  be  "  most  tolerable  and  not  to  be 
endured." 

He  felt  that  if  he  had  not  rushed  incontinently 
from  the  presence  of  that  underground  star-gazer  Dr. 
Wilson,  he  must  either  have  punched  that  respected 
person's  venerated  head,  or  have  laughed  in  his 
honored  face.  In  either  case  he  would,  of  course, 
have  roused  the  extensive  ire  of  that  potent  worthy, 
and  have  been  at  once  exposed  to  a  fire  of  super- 
natural influences  that  would  have  been  probably 
unpleasant,  to  say  the  least. 

The  unmusical  Johannes  looks  upon  accordeons  as 
cruel  instruments  of  refined  torture,  and  detests  them 
as  the  vilest  of  all  created  or  invented  things,  and  he 
had  been  very  careful  to  offend  none  of  the  magic 
community,  lest  he  should,  by  some  high-pressure 


176          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

power  of  their  enchanted  spells,  be  transformed  into 
an  accordeon,  and  he  condemned  to  eternally  have 
shrieking  music  pulled  out  of  his  bowels  by  unrelent- 
ing boys. 

Having  this  terrible  possible  doom  continually 
before  his  mind's  optics,  he  felt  that  it  would  be  only 
the  part  of  prudence  to  avoid  the  company  of  those 
black  art  professors  in  whose  presence  he  could  not 
keep  all  his  feelings  well  in  hand.  So,  no  more 
wizards  would  he  visit,  but  the  witches  should  hence- 
forth have  his  entire  attention. 

It  is  a  fortunate  circumstance  that  there  are  no  other 
men  than  the  aforesaid  Doctor  Wilson,  in  the  witch 
business  in  New  York,  so  that  there  would  be  no 
temptation  to  break  this  resolve,  and  he  probably 
would  not  be  troubled  to  keep  it. 

There  is  one  breed  of  the  modern  witch  that  pre- 
tends to  a  sort  of  superiority  in  blood  and  manners, 
and  those  who  practise  this  peculiar  branch  of  the 
business  put  on  certain  aristocratic  airs  and  utterly 
refuse  to  consort  with  those  of  another  stamp.  They 


Mrs.  Hayes.  177 

disdain  the  title  of  "Astrologers,"  or  "  Astrologists," 
as  most  of  them  phrase  it,  and  in  their  advertisements 
utterly  repudiate  the  idea  that  they  are  "Fortune 
Tellers." 

These  are  the  "  Clairvoyants,"  who  do  business  by 
means  of  certain  select  mummeries  of  their  own,  and 
who  make  a  great  deal  of  money  in  their  trade. 
There  are  a  great  number  of  these  in  the  city,  so  many 
indeed  that  the  business  is  over-done,  and  the  price 
of  retail  clairvoyance  has  come  materially  down. 
The  same  dose  of  this  article  that  formerly  cost  five 
dollars,  may  now  be  had  for  fifty  cents,  and  the 
quality  is  not  deteriorated,  but  is  quite  as  good  now 
as  it  ever  was. 

To  one  of  these  supernatural  women  did  the  hero 
resolve  to  pay  his  next  visit,  and  he  selected  the  abode 
of  Mrs.  Hayes,  of  176  Grand  Street,  for  his  initiatory 
consultation. 

With  the  mysterious  psychological  phenomena  de- 
nominated by  those  who  profess  to  know  them  best, 

"clairvoyant  manifestations,"  Johannes  had  nothing 

8* 


]  78          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

to  do,  and%ras  content,  as  every  one  of  the  uninitiated 
must  perforce  be,  to  accept  the  say-so  of  the  spiritual- 
istic journals  that  there  are  such  phenomena  and  that 
they  are  unexplained  and  mysterious.  No  outside 
unbelievers  in  Spiritualism  and  the  kindred  arts  may 
ever  know  anything  of  clairvoyant  developments  and 
demonstrations,  save  such  one-sided  varnished  state- 
ments as  the  journals  that  deal  in  that  sort  of 
commodities  choose  to  lay  before  the  world.  Every 
man  must  be  spiritually  wound  up  to  concert  pitch 
before  he  is  in  a  condition  to  receive  the  highest 
revelations  of  the  clairvoyant  speculators.  So  that, 
whether  the  clairvoyance  that  is  sold  for  money  be  a 
spurious  or  a  superfine  article  few  can  tell.  Certain  it 
is  that  it  is  the  same  sort  of  stuff  that  has  ever  been 
retailed  to  the  public  under  the  name  of  clairvoyance, 
ever  since  the  discovery  of  that  remunerative  humbug. 
It  is  more  than  likely  that  the  twaddle  of  Mrs.  Hayes, 
Mrs.  Seymour,  and  the  rest  of  the  fortune-telling 
crew,  would  be  repudiated  by  Andrew  Jackson  Davis 
and  the  rest  of  the  spiritualistic  firstchoppers,  but  it 


Mrs.  Hayes.  179 

is  none  the  less  true  that  these  gifted  women  sell  their 
pretended  knowledge  of  spirits  and  spiritual  persons 
and  things,  with  as  much  pretentiousness  to  unerring 
truth,  as  that  veritable  seer  himself,  and  at  a  much 
lower  price. 

The  clairvoyant  department  of  modern  witchcraft  is 
necessarily  carried  on  by  a  partnership,  and  one  which 
is  not  identical  with  the  legendary  league  with  the 
devil.  Two  visible  persons  constitute  the  firm,  for  it 
takes  a  double  team  to  do  the  work,  and  if  the  amiable 
gentleman  just  referred  to  makes  a  third  in  the  concern, 
he  is  a  silent  partner  who  merely  furnishes  capital, 
while  his  name  is  not  known  in  the  business.  The 
whole  theory  of  clairvoyance  as  applied  to  fortune- 
telling  and  other  branches  of  cheap  necromancy,  seems 
to  be  somewhat  like  this. 

A  strong-minded  person,  generally  a  man  with  a 
physique  like  a  Centre-Market  butcher  boy,  obtains  by 
some  means  possession  of  an  extra  soul  or  two,  or  spirit, 
or  whatever  else  that  intangible  thing  may  be  called. 
These  spirits  are  always  second-rate  articles,  not  good 


1 80          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

enough  to  be  put  into  vigorous  and  strong  bodies,  and 
which  have  been  therefore  hastily  cased  up  in  an 
inferior  kind  of  human  frame  as  a  sort  of  make-shift 
for  men  and  women. 

Your  professional  clairvoyant  is  always,  both  as  to 
soul  and  body,  a  botched-up  job  that  nature  ought  to 
be  ashamed  of,  and  probably  is,  if  she'd  own  up. 

The  senior  partner  of  the  clairvoyant  fortune-telling 
firm,  the  strong-minded  one,  according  to  their  pro- 
fessions, has  the  arbitrary  control  of  the  cast-off  souls 
that  animate  these  refuse  bodies.  By  what  spiritual 
hocus-pocus  this  is  managed  is  not  known  to  those 
outside  the  trade.  He  uses  their  half-baked  spirits 
at  his  will,  and  makes  his  living  by  farming  them  out 
to  do  dirty  jobs  for  the  paying  public.  He  discon- 
nects them  from  their  mortal  vehicles,  and  sends  them 
on  errands  in  the  spirit-land  in  behalf  of  his  cus- 
tomers, looking  up  their  "  absent  friends,"  both  in  and 
out  of  the  body — telling  of  their  health  and  prosperity 
if  they  are  still  alive,  and  picking  up  little  bits  of  scan- 
dal about  their  angels  if  they  are  dead.  The  senior 


Mrs.  Hayes.  181 

partner  also  sends  his  abject  two-and-sixpenny  souls 
to  explore  the  bodies  of  his  sick  customers  and 
examine  their  internal  machinery,  point  out  any  little 
defects  or  disarrangements,  and  suggest  the  proper 
remedies  therefor,  and  in  short,  to  do  whatever  other 
dirty  work  the  customer  may  choose  to  pay  for. 

The  senior  partner  of  course  pockets  all  the  money, 
merely  keeping  the  mortal  tenement  in  which  the 
working  partner  dwells  in  a  good  state  of  repair,  in 
consideration  of  services  rendered. 

Such  a  partnership  is  the  one  of  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Hayes,  whose  place  of  business  is  advertised  every 
day  in  the  morning  papers  in  the  words  following : 

"  CLAIRVOYANCE. — Astonishing  cures  and  great  discoveries 
daily  made  by  MRS.  HAYES,  that  superior  and  wonderful  clair- 
voyant. All  diseases  discovered  and  cured  (if  curable).  Uner- 
ring advice  given  respecting  persons  in  business,  absent  friends, 
&c.  Satisfactory  examinations  given  in  all  cases,  or  no  charge 
made.  Residence,  176  Grand  St.  N.  Y." 

Johannes,  whose  general  health  was  excellent,  and 


182          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

whose  internal  apparatus  was  all  right  so  far  as  heard 
from,  had  therefore  no  occasion  to  be  astonishingly 
cured,  or  to  have  any  great  discoveries  made  in  him 
by  Mrs.  Hayes ;  still  he  was  desirous  of  a  little  "  uner- 
ring advice  about  absent  friends,"  etc.,  from  "that 
superior  and  wonderful  clairvoyant." 

Besides,  it  was  barely  possible  that  in  the  person 
of  the  superior  and  wonderful  Mrs.  Hayes,  he  might 
find  the  bride  for  whom  he  pined.  With  hope  slightly 
renewed  within  his  speculative  breast,  he  set  off  joy- 
fully for  the  designated  domicile,  which  he  achieved 
in  the  due  course  of  travel. 

The  house  No.  176  Grand  Street  is  a  brick  two- 
story  dwelling,  of  a  dingy  drab  color,  as  though  it  had 
been  steeped  in  a  Quaker  atmosphere  and  had  there 
imbibed  its  color,  which  had  since  been  overlaid  with 
"  world's  people's"  dirt. 

The  door  was  opened  by  Mrs.  Hayes  in  person,  her 
body  on  this  occasion  being  sent  with  her  spirit  to 
do  a  bit  of  drudgery. 

She  is  a  woman  of  the  most  abject  and  cringing 


Mrs.  Hayes.  183 

manner  imaginable;  a  female  counterpart  of  Uriah 
Heep,  with  an  unknown  multiplication  of  that  vermi- 
cular gentleman's  writhings ;  she  wore  no  hoops,  she 
would  have  squirmed  herself  out  of  them  in  an  instant ; 
her  dress  was  fastened  securely  on  with  numerous 
visible  hooks  and  eyes,  and  pins,  and  strings,  in  spite 
of  which  precautions  her  visitor  expected  to  see  her 
worm  out  of  it  before  she  got  up  stairs,  and  would 
scarcely  have  been  astonished  to  see  her  jerk  her 
skeleton  out  of  her  skin,  and  complete  her  errand  in 
her  bones. 

"With  a  propitiating  bow,  whose  intense  servility 
would  have  become  Mr.  Sampson  Brass  in  the  day  of 
his  discomfiture,  she  asked  her  customer  into  the 
house,  cringingly  preceded  him  up  stairs,  deferentially 
placed  a  chair,  and  abjectly  departed  into  an  inner 
room,  pausing  at  the  door  to  execute  an  obsequious 
wriggle,  and  to  once  more  humble  herself  in  the  dust 
(of  which  there  was  plenty)  before  her  astonished 
visitor. 

The  reception-room  to  which  she  led  him,  is  an 


184          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

apartment  of  moderate  size,  from  the  front  windows 
of  which  the  beholder  may  regale  his  eyes  with  a  com- 
prehensive view  of  Centre  Market  and  its  charming 
surroundings ;  Mott  and  Mulberry  Streets  lie  just 
beyond,  and  the  Tombs  are  visible  in  the  dim  distance. 
The  room  was  furnished  with  a  superfluity  of  gaudy 
furniture;  and  sofas,  tables,  chairs  and  pictures, 
crowded  and  elbowed  each  other,  showing  plainly 
that  the  upholstery  of  a  couple,  at  least,  of  parlors  had 
been  there  compressed  into  a  bedroom 

From  the  inner  room  came  a  great  sound,  made  up 
of  so  many  household  ingredients  as  to  defy  accurate 
analysis — but  the  crying  of  babies,  the  frizzling  of 
cooking  meat,  the  scraping  of  saucepans,  and  a  sound 
of  somebody  scolding  everybody  else,  predominated. 

The  voyager  was  unprepared  for  any  Mister  Hayes, 
having  taken  it  for  granted  that  the  Mrs.  of  the  supe- 
rior and  wonderful  clairvoyant  did  not  imply  a  hus- 
band, but  was  merely  assumed  because  it  looks  more 
dignified  in  the  advertisement.  But  there  was  a  Mr. 
Hayes,  and  presently  the  door  opened  and  that  wor- 


Mrs.  Hayes.  185 

thy  appeared ;  he  was  surrounded  by  an  atmosphere 
of  fried  onions,  and  the  fragrant  and  greasy  perspira- 
tion in  his  face  seemed  to  have  been  distilled  from 
that  favorite  vegetable. 

Mr.  Hayes  is  a  tall,  fierce,  sharp-spoken  man,  of 
manners  so  very  rough  and  bearish  that  his  wife  and 
children  quailed  when  he  spoke  as  if  they  expected  an 
instant  blow.  We  don't  know  that  it  ever  will  be 
possible  for  a  man  to  garrote  his  guardian  angel  for 
the  sake  of  her  golden  crown,  but  the  idea  occurred 
to  Johannes  that  if  that  amiable  feat  is  ever  accom- 
plished, it  will  be  by  such  another  man  as  this.  He 
seemed  as  unable  to  speak  a  kind  or  gentle  word  as  to 
pull  his  boots  off  over  his  ears.  He  is  an  Englishman, 
and  speaks  with  the  most  intolerable  cockney  accent. 
Moderating  his  harsh  tones  until  they  were  almost  as 
pleasant  as  the  threatenings  of  an  ill-natured  bull-dog, 
and  addressing  his  auditor,  he  growled  out  the  follow 
ing  specimen  of  delectable  English  : 

"  There  is  lots  of  folks  goin'  round  town  pretendin' 
to  do  clairvoyance,  and  to  cure  sick  folks,  and  to  tell 


i86          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

fortunes,  and  business,  and  journeys,  and  stole  pro* 
pertj ;  but  we  ain't  none  of  them  people.  We  only 
do  this  for  the  sake  of  doin'  good,  and  we  don't  want 
to  do  nothin'  that  will  make  any  trouble.  We  used 
to  tell  things  about  stole  property,  and  about  family 
troubles,  and  so  we  sometimes  used  to  get  folks  into 
musses,  but  we  don't  do  nothin'  of  that  kind  now. 
If  your  business  is  about  any  kind  of  muss  and  trouble 
in  your  family  we  don't  want  nothin'  to  do  with  it. 
Sometimes  folks  that  has  quarrelled  their  wives  away 
come  to  us  and  wants  us  to  get  them  back  again,  but 
we  don't  do  nothing  of  that  sort.  We  can  tell  'em  if 
their  wives  are  well,  or  if  they're  sick  and  all  about 
what  ails  'em,  and  so  we  can  about  any  people  that  is 
gone  off  anywhere,  and  them's  what  we  call  '  absent 
friends.'  So  if  you've  got  any  trouble  with  your  wife 
we  can't  do  nothin.'  for  you." 

The  love-lorn  visitor  had  no  wives,  a  fact  known  to 
the  reader  already,  and  when  he  does  accumulate  a 
help-meet,  he  sincerely  trusts  she  may  not  be  so  unruly 
as  to  require  the  interference  of  outsiders  to  preserve 


Mrs.  Hayes.  187 

harmony  in  the  family.  He  expressed  himself  to  that 
effect,  and  added  that  his  business  was  to  find  out 
about  the  well-being  of  some  friends  in  Minnesota,  and 
to  ascertain  particulars  about  some  other  trifles  neces- 
sary to  his  peace  of  mind. 

Hereupon  Mr.  Hayes,  with  a  growl  like  a  sulky 
rhinoceros,  opened  the  door  which  cut  off  the  pot-and- 
kettle  Babel  of  the  other  room,  and  commanded  his 
wife  to  come,  and  that  estimable  lady,  who  is  evidently 
in  a  state  of  excellent  subordination,  instantly  writhed 
herself  into  the  room.  She  sat  down  in  an  armchair, 
and  began  to  evolve  a  most  remarkable  series  of 
inane  smiles,  each  one  of  which  began  somewhere 
down  her  throat,  rose  to  her  mouth  by  jerks,  and 
finally  faded  away  at  the  top  of  her  head  and  the  tips 
of  her  ears.  It  was  a  purely  spasmodic  thing  of  dis- 
agreeable habit,  without  a  particle  of  geniality  or 
feeling  about  it. 

While  this  curious  process  was  going  on,  the  Doc- 
tor had  drawn  down  the  window-shades,  thus  darken- 
ing the  room,  and  now  approached  for  the  purpose  of 


i88          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

unhooking  from  its  earthly  tabernacle  the  soul  that 
was  to  step  up  to  Minnesota  and  bring  back  word  to 
his  customer  "  how  all  the  folks  got  along."  This  he 
accomplished  by  a  few  mysterious  mesmeric  passes, 
and  when  the  trance  was  induced,  and  the  spirit  had, 
so  to  speak,  tucked  its  breeches  into  its  boots  ready 
for  the  muddy  journey,  he  placed  in  the  hand  of 
Johannes  that  of  the  corpus  which  still  remained  in 
the  armchair,  and  said  to  the  disembodied  spirit : 

"  Now,  I  want  you  to  go  with  this  gentleman  to 
Brooklyn  and  take  a  fair  start  from  there,  and  then  go 
where  he  tells  you  to,  and  tell  him  what  things  there 
is  there  that  you  see." 

Having  delivered  this  injunction  in  a  tone  so  in- 
describably savage  that  he  had  better  a  thousand  times 
have  struck  her  in  the  face,  this  amiable  animal 
retired  to  the  Babel,  taking  with  him  the  fried-onion 
atmosphere. 

Then  the  woman  in  the  chair  began  to  speak,  in  a 
style  the  most  disagreeable  and  affected  that  anybody 
ever  listened  to.  It  was  more  like  that  sickening  gib- 


Mrs.  Hayes.  189 

berish  that  nurses  call  "baby-talk"  than  anything 
else  in  the  world.  She  spoke  with  a  detestable  whine, 
and  pronounced  each  syllable  of  every  word  separately, 
as  if  she  feared  a  two-syllable  word  might  choke 
her.  Sick  at  the  stomach  as  was  her  visitor  at  the 
whole  babyish  performance,  he  so  far  controlled  his 
qualms  as  to  note  down  the  words  hereunder  written. 

Whoever  has  heard  this  woman  in  a  profes- 
sional way  can  testify  to  the  verbatim  truth  of  this 
sketch. 

"  There  is  wa-ter  that  we  must  cross,  we  must  go 
in  a  boat  musn't  we  ?  Now  we're  in  the  boat,  and  0 
I  see  so  many  put-ty  things,  men,  and  dogs,  and  ships 
and  things  going  up  and  down ;  such  beau-ti-ful  things 
I  have  never  seened  before.  Now  we  are  a-cross  the 
riv-er,  and  now  we  must  get  on  the  car,  musn't  we  ? 
What  car  must  we  get  on  ?  01  see  it  now,  the  yel- 
low car.  Now  we  are  going  a-long  and  I  can  see — 0 
what  a  pret-ty  dress  in  that  store.  0  what  real  nice 
can-dy  that  is.  I  wish  I  had  some  don't  you  ?  Now 
we're  at  the  house.  Is  it  the  one  on  the  cor-ner,  or 


1 90          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

the  next  one  to  it,  or  is  it  the  brick  house  with  the 
green  blinds  ?  No,  the  wood  one  with  green  blinds ; 
so  it  is,  but  I  didn't  be  here  be-fore  ev-er  in  my  life. 
Now  we  will  go  in-to  the  house ;  I  see  a  car-pet  there 
and  some  chairs  and  some — 0  what  a  pret-ty  pic-ture, 
and  what  a  nice  fire.  I  see  a  la-dy  of  ver-y  pret-ty 
ap-pear-ance.  She  is  a  young  la-dy ;  she  has  got  blue 
eyes,  she  is  stand-ing  sideways  so  I  can't  see  noth-ing 
of  her  but  one  side  of  her  face.  There  is  al-so  an 
el-der-ly  la-dy,  but  I  can't  see  much  of  her.  They  ap- 
pear to  be  go-ing  on  a  jour-ney,  shall  I  go  with  them  ? 
Yes,  well  I  will.  Now  we  are  on  the  wa-ter  and — 0 
what  a  pret-ty  boat — now  we  are  get-ting  off  of  the 
boat — I  didn't  nev-er  be  here  be-fore.  Now  we 
are  on  a  rail-road,  I  nev-er  seened  this  rail-road 
be-fore  but — 0  what  a  pret-ty  ba-by.  Now  we 
go  along,  along,  along,  along,  and  now  we  are  at  the 
de-pot.  I  didn't  ev-er  be  here  ei-ther — there  is  a 
riv-er  here,  and  a  mill  and  a — 0  what  a  pret-ty  cow — 
some-body  is  go-ing  to  milk  the  cow.  There  is  a  town 
here — it  seems  as  if  I  did  be  here  before — yes  I  am 


Mrs.  Hayes.  191 

sure — 0  what  a  pret-ty  lit-tle  car-riage,  and  what  a 
pret-ty  dog.  Yes  I  am  sure  I  seened  this  town  be-fore, 
but  these  rail-roads  didn't  be  here  then." 

By  this  time  the  travellers  were  supposed  to  have 
reached  St.  Paul,  and  the  reliable  clairvoyant  then 
proceeded  to  describe  that  interesting  young  city ;  and 
in  the  course  of  her  speech  made  more  improvements 
there  than  will  be  accomplished  in  reality  in  less  than 
a  year  or  two  certainly. 

Among  other  things,  Mrs.  Hayes  described  as  at 
present  existing  in  St.  Paul,  two  Colleges,  a  City  Hall 
built  of  white  marble,  a  locomotive  factory,  and  a 
place  where  they  were  building  seven  ocean  steamers. 

She  then,  when  she  arrived  at  the  house,  in  the 
course  of  her  mesmeric  journey,  where  the  people 
concerning  whom  Johannes  had  inquired  were  sup- 
posed to  be  at  that  present  domiciled,  proceeded  to 
give  descriptions  of  those  whom  she  saw  there,  of  the 
looks  of  the  country  and  of  the  house. 

And  such  descriptions,  as  much  like  the  truth  as  a 
ton  of  "  T"  rail  is  like  a  boiled  custard. 


192  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

By  asking  leading  questions  the  seeker  after  clair- 
voyant knowledge  got  some  very  original  information. 
He  only  began  this  course  after  he  found  that  she, 
if  left  to  herself,  could  describe  nothing,  and  could 
utter  no  speech  more  coherent  or  sensible  than  that 
already  set  down  as  coming  from  her  illustrious  lips. 

In  fact,  the  policy  of  the  clairvoyant- witch  in  every 
case,  is  to  wait  for  leading  questions  from  the  anxious 
inquirer,  so  that  the  answers  may  be  framed  to  suit  the 
exigencies  of  the  case.  Johannes  was  not  slow  to 
perceive  this,  and  by  way  of  testing  the  science,  or 
rather,  art  of  clairvoyance,  he  put  a  series  of  questions 
which  established  the  following  interesting  facts,  all 
of  which  were  positively  averred  to  be  true  by  Mrs. 
Hayes,  "that  superior  and  wonderful  clairvoyant." 

Minnesota  Territory  is  a  small  town  situated  911 
miles  south-east  of  the  mouth  of  the  Mississippi  River 
— its  officers  are  a  chief  cook  and  23  high  privates, 
besides  the  younger  brother  of  Shakspeare,  who  is  the 
Mayor  of  the  Territory,  and  whose  principal  business  it 
is  to  keep  the  American  flag  at  half-mast,  upside  down. 


Mrs.  Hayes.  193 

When  this  last  important  information  had  been  eli- 
cited, Johannes,  who  thought  he  had  got  the  worth 
of  his  money,  recalled  Dr.  Hayes,  who  re-appeared, 
surrounded  by  the  same  old  atmosphere  of  the  same 
old  onions ;  to  him  the  customer  resigned  the  hand 
of  the  twaddling  adult  baby  who  had  held  his  hand 
for  an  hour  and  a  half,  paid  his  dollar,  and  then  pre- 
pared to  depart. 

The  soul  of  the  woman  then  returned  from  its  long 
journey,  and  was  locked  up  in  its  squirmy  body  by 
the  Doctor,  ready  to  serve  future  customers  at  one 
dollar  a  head. 

She  didn't  seem  glad  to  get  her  soul  back  again, 
there  probably  not  being  enough  to  give  her  any  great 
joy,  after  she  had  got  it. 

Johannes  turned  moodily  away,  feeling  that  the 
conjuress,  his  future  bride,  the  renovator  of  his  broken 
fortunes,  and  the  ready  relief  to  his  present  necessities, 
was  as  far  distant  as  ever. 


CHAPTER    IX. 


Tells    all    about    Mrs.    Seymour,    the    Clairvoyant,    of    No. 
110  Spring  Street,  and  what  she  had  to  say. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

MRS.  SEYMOUR,  CLAIRVOYANT,  No.  no  SPRING 
STREET. 

THIS  woman  is  at  the  same  time  one  of  the  most 
pretentious  and  most  clever  of  the  clairvoyants,  and 
she  does  a  very  large  business.  Most  of  her  customers 
come  for  medical  advice,  although,  in  accordance  with 
her  printed  announcement,  she  is  willing  to  talk  about 
"  absent  friends,"  and  whatever  other  business  the 
client  may  choose  to  pay  for. 

One  branch  of  the  clairvoyant  trade  which  formerly 
brought  as  much  money  to  their  pockets  as  any  other 
department  of  their  business,  was  the  finding  lost  or 
stolen  property,  and  giving  directions  for  the  detection 
of  the  thieves.  This  specialty  has  however  been  pretty 
much  abandoned  of  late  by  nearly  all  of  them,  in  con- 


198          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

sequence  of  law-proceedings  against  certain  ones  of 
the  sisterhood,  which  have  in  three  or  four  instances 
been  commenced  by  parties  who  have  been  wrongfully 
accused  of  theft,  through  the  agency  of  the  clairvoyant 
impostors.  Several  suits  have  been  instituted  against 
them  for  defamation  of  character,  and  they  have  been 
made  to  smart  so  severely  that  they  are  now  all  very 
careful  about  accusing  persons  of  crimes, 

As  an  evidence  of  the  implicit  faith  put  in  these 
people  by  their  dupes,  it  may  be  mentioned  that  many 
applications  have  been  made  to  Judge  "Welsh,  of  this 
city,  and  to  the  other  judges,  for  warrants  of  arrest 
against  respectable  persons,  for  theft,  the  only  grounds 
of  suspicion  against  them  being,  that  some  clairvoy- 
ant had  said  that  the  property  had  been  stolen  by  a 
person  of  such  and  such  a  height,  with  hair  and  eyes 
of  this  or  that  color,  and  that  the  suspected  person 
happened  to  answer  the  description.  Of  course,  all 
such  applications  for  legal  process  have  been  refused 
by  the  magistrates,  and  the  applicants  dismissed  with 
a  severe  rebuke. 


Mrs.  Seymour.  199 

Mrs.  Seymour  was  an  intimate  friend  of  Mrs.  Cun- 
ningham, of  the  Burdell-murder  notoriety,  and  was  a 
witness  in  that  memorable  trial. 

The  Cash  Customer  had  an  interview  with  this 
woman,  which  he  thus  describes: 

Another  Clairvoyant,  who  is  not  much  in  particular. 

If  a  man  be  desirous  'of  knowing  what  sort  of  a 
moral  character  he  bears  in  the  spirit-world,  and 
what  style  of  society  his  disembodied  soul  will  circu- 
late in,  or  if  he  desires  to  know  the  particulars  of  the 
after-death  behavior  of  any  of  his  acquaintances,  of 
course  he  will  find  it  to  his  interest  to  marry  a 
"  medium "  of  average  respectability,  and  in  good 
practice,  and  so  save  the  expense  of  frequent  consul- 
tations. The  "rapping"  and  "table-tipping"  com- 
munications from  the  spirit- world  are  hardly  satisfac- 
tory. It  is,  very  likely,  pleasant  for  a  man  to  be  on 
speaking  terms  with  his  bedroom  furniture,  to  spend 
an  agreeable  hour  occasionally  in  conversation  with 


2oo          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

his  washhand-stand,  to  enjoy  a  spirited  argument 
with  his  bedstead  and  rocking-chair,  or  to  receive 
now  and  then  a  confidential  communication  from  his 
bootjack,  but  on  the  whole,  these  upholstery  dialogues 
do  not  satisfy  the  "  yearnings  of  the  soul  after  the 
infinite,"  The  powers  of  speech  of  a  washhand-stand 
are  circumscribed,  bedsteads  and  rocking-chairs  are 
seldom  equal  to  a  sustained  conversation,  and  the 
most  talkative  bootjack  has  not  a  sufficient  command 
of  language  to  make  itself  agreeable  for  any  great 
length  of  time.  The  logic  of  a  poker  may  sometimes 
be  convincing,  but  it  is  not  generally  agreeable ;  and 
the  rhetoric  of  uneducated  coal-scuttles  is  hardly 
elegant  enough  to  pass  the  criticism  of  a  refined  taste. 
It  is  therefore  much  more  satisfactory  as  well  as  econo- 
mical, for  a  person  who  desires  to  enjoy  his  daily  chat 
with  the  Spirits,  to  get  a  "  speaking  medium "  to 
translate  the  eloquence  of  all  parties  and  make  the 
thing  pleasant.  Even  then,  confidential  communica- 
tions must  be  very  guarded,  and  on  this  account  the 
person  who  invents  some  means  by  which  every  man 


Mrs.  Seymour.  201 

can  be  his  own  medium,  will  win  an  equal  immor- 
tality with  the  author  of  that  invaluable  book,  "  Every 
Man  his  own  Washerwoman." 

Johannes  had  been  thinking  over  the  spiritual  sub- 
ject, of  course  with  a  view  to  profitable  matrimony,  for 
he  thought  he  could  manage  to  turn  an  intimacy  with 
the  spirits  to  good  pecuniary  account,  and  inveigle 
those  incorporeal  gentlemen  into  doing  something  for 
those  of  their  friends  who  are  yet  bothered  with  bodies. 

He  knew  that  there  are  in  New  York,  plenty  of 
spiritualists  in  such  constant  communication  with  their 
acquaintances  on  the  "  other  side  of  Jordan,"  that 
they  know  the  bill  of  fare  with  which  those  seventh- 
heaveners  are  served  every  day,  and  whenever  their 
jolly  ghostships  sit  down  to  a  pleasant  game  of  whist, 
they  send  word  to  their  earthly  relatives  by  "medium" 
every  fresh  deal,  what  the  new  trump  is,  who  hold  the 
honors,  and  how  the  game  stands  generally. 

So  close  a  familiarity  with  superior  beings  as  this, 
could  be  easily  turned  to  practical  account  and  made 

to  pay  handsomely,  by  a  Spiritualist  with  a  utilitarian 

0* 


202  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

turn  of  mind.  If  he  could  but  get  his  spirits  into 
proper  subjection  how  useful  would  they  not  be  in 
the  patent  medicine  business,  in  the  way  of  inventing 
new  remedies ;  how  invaluable  would  they  be  to  an 
editor ;  in  fact,  how  particularly  useful  in  almost  any 
kind  of  business. 

But  his  great  plan  was  to  train  a-  corps  of  light-footed 
.and  gentle  ghosts  to  carry  news ;  they  would  of  course 
beat  locomotives,  carrier  pigeons,  and  electric  tele- 
graphs out  of  sight ;  seas,  mountains,  and  such  trifling 
obstacles  would  be  no  hindrance  to  them,  and  the 
Associated  Press,  to  say  nothing  of  the  Board  of 
Brokers,  would  pay  handsomely  for  their  services. 
Of  course  a  ghost  with  any  pretensions  to  speed  would 
bring  us  detailed  news  from  London  in  half-an-hour 
or  so,  without  putting  himself  out  of  breath  in  the 
least,  thus  beating  the  telegraph  by  a  length.  And 
so  Johannes,  fully  determined  on  this  promising 
scheme,  began  to  cast  about  him  for  a  medium  who 
was  acquainted  in  the  spirit  sphere,  to  introduce  him 
to  some  of  the  eligible  ghosts. 


Mrs.  Seymour.  203 

He  knew  that  most  of  the  clairvoyant  women  are 
"  mediums,"  and  thought  very  naturally  that  women 
who  already  earned  their  living  by  clairvoyance, 
would  be  the  very  ones  to  enter  heart  and  soul  with 
him  into  his  spiritualistic  scheme. 

Yes,  he  would  marry  a  medium,  and  if  she  was  a 
professional  clairvoyant,  so  much  the  better,  his  bow 
would  have  another  string. 

In  his  search  for  a  witch- wife  he  would  not  have 
been  justified  in  interfering  at  all  with  the  clairvoyants 
had  it  not  been  for  the  fact  that  they  mix  a  little  witch- 
craft with  their  regular  business.  Their  ostensible  trade 
is  to  diagnose  and  prescribe  for  different  varieties  of 
internal  disease,  and  so  this  particular  branch  of  hum- 
bug would  not  have  come  within  the  scope  of  the 
voyager's  investigations,  were  it  not  that  several  of 
these  practitioners  advertise  to  "tell  the  past,  present, 
and  future,  describe  the  future  husband  or  wife,  mark 
out  correctly  the  exact  course  of  future  life,  give 
unerring  advice  about  business,  absent  friends,  etc." 

All  this  had  too  strong  a  savor. of  witchcraft  to  be 


204  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

ignored,  and  accordingly  Johannes  set  forth  on  his 
journey  to  visit  another  of  these  mysteriously  clear- 
sighted persons,  keeping  in  view  all  the  time  the 
probabilities  of  her  being  an  A  1  spiritual  medium, 
and  the  very  person  whose  aid  would  be  invaluable 
in  his  new  journalistic  enterprise. 

Mrs.  Seymour,  of  No.  110  Spring  Street,  was  the 
person  towards  whose  house  the  Cash  Customer  bent 
his  steps,  after  reading  the  subjoined  advertisement 
of  her  powers  and  capabilities. 

"  CLAIRVOYANCE. — Mrs.  SEYMOUR,  110  Spring  Street,  a  few 
doors  west  of  Broadway,  the  most  successful  medical  and  business 
Clairvoyant  in  America.  All  diseases  discovered  and  cured,  if 
curable;  unerring  advice  on  business,  absent  friends,  &c.,  and 
satisfaction  in  all  cases,  or  no  charge  made." 

The  clairvoyant  branch  of  the  fortune-telling  busi- 
ness seems  to  require  a  certain  amount  of  respec- 
tability in  its  practices,  and  they  sneer  at  the 
grosser  deceptions  of  the  more  vulgar  of  the  necro- 
mantic trade.  They  keep  aloof  from  the  greasier 
sisters  of  the  profession,  and  they  feel  it  due  to  the 


Mrs.  Seymour.  205 

dignity  of  their  station  to  reject  the  cards,  the  magic 
mirrors,  the  Bibles  and  keys,  the  mysterious  pebbles 
and  the  other  tricks  which  do  well  enough  for  twenty- 
five  cent  customers ;  to  sojourn  in  reputable  streets, 
in  respectable  houses,  and  to  have  clean  faces  when 
visitors  come  in.  There  are,  it  is  true,  clairvoyants 
in  the  city  who  live  wretchedly  in  miserable  cellars, 
whose  garments  and  very  hair  are  populated  with 
various  specimens  of  animated  nature,  and  whose 
bodies  are  so  filthy  that  the  beholder  wonders  why 
the  spirits,  which  are  so  often  disconnected  from  them 
and  sent  on  far-off  missions,  do  not  avail  themselves 
of  the  leave  of  absence  to  desert  for  ever  such  unsa- 
vory corporeal  habitations.  But  the  majority  of  these 
persons  prefer  parlors  to  basements,  and  make  up  the 
difference  in  expenses  by  double-charging  their  cus- 
tomers. Many  of  them,  as  before  stated,  combine  a  lit- 
tle spiritualism  of  the  other  sort  with  the  clairvoy- 
ance, and  they  can  all  go  into  a  trance  on  short  notice 
and  rhapsodize  with  all  the  fervor  if  not  the  eloquence 
of  Mrs.  Cora  Hatch ;  they  can  all  do  the  table-tipping 


206  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

trick,  and  are  up  to  more  rappings  than  the  Eochester 
Fox  girls  ever  thought  of.  For  these  several  reasons 
therefore  Mrs.  Seymour  would  be  a  wife  worth 
having,  or  at  least  so  thought  Johannes  as  he  pon- 
dered these  truths,  and  arranged  in  his  mind  his  plan 
of  attack  on  the  affections  of  that  susceptible  lady. 

The  house  No.  110  Spring  Street,  occupied  by  Mrs. 
Seymour  for  business  purposes,  is  not  more  seedy  in 
appearance  than  the  majority  of  half-way  decent 
tenant  houses,  which  all  have  a  decrepit  look  after 
they  are  four  or  five  years  old,  as  though  youthful  dis- 
sipations had  made  them  weak  in  the  joints.  From 
appearances,  Mrs.  Seymour's  house  had  been  more 
than  commonly  rakish  in  its  juvenility,  but  it  still 
had  that  look  of  better  days  departed,  which,  in  the 
human  kind,  is  peculiar  to  decayed  ministers  of  the 
gospel.  It  is  a  house  where  a  man  on  a  small  salary 
would  apply  for  cheap  board.  Hither  the  inquirer 
repaired,  and  shamefacedly  knocked  at  the  door,  and 
was  admitted  by  a  frowzy,  coarse,  plump,  semi-respect- 
able girl,  who  would  have  been  the  better  for  a  wash- 


Mrs.  Seymour.  207 

ing.  She  opened  the  door  and  the  customer  entered 
the  reception-room,  and  had  ample  time  before  the 
appearance  of  the  mistress  to  take  an  observation. 

The  parlor  was  neatly,  though  rather  scantily  fur- 
nished, with  a  rigid  economy  in  the  article  of  chairs. 
The  apartment  communicated  by  folding-doors  with 
another  room,  whence  could  be  heard  an  iron  noise  as 
of  some  one  scraping  a  saucepan  with  a  kitchen-spoon. 
The  frowzy  girl  disappeared  into  this  retired  spot,  and 
in  about  the  space  of  time  that  would  be  occupied  by 
an  enterprising  woman  in  rolling  down  her  sleeves, 
taking  off  her  apron,  and  washing  her  hands,  the 
door  opened,  and  Mrs.  Seymour  presented  herself. 

She  was  a  frigid-looking  woman,  of  about  35  years 
of  age,  with  dark  hair  and  eyes,  projecting  lips  and 
heavy  chin,  and  was  of  medium  height  and  size.  Her 
appearance  was  perhaps  lady-like,  her  movements 
slow  and  well  considered.  She  was  perfectly  self- 
possessed  and  calculating,  and  appeared  to  cherish  no 
dissatisfaction  with  herself.  Her  demeanor,  on  the 
whole,  was  repelling  and  chilly,  and  impressed  her 


208         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

visitor  very  much  as  if  some  one  had  slipped  a  lump 
of  ice  down  his  back  and  made  him  sit  on  it  till  it 
melted. 

She  regarded  him  with  a  look  of  professional  sus- 
picion, cast  her  eye  round  the  room  with  a  quick 
glance,  which  instantly  inventoried  everything  therein 
contained,  as  though  to  assure  herself  of  the  safety  of 
any  small  articles  which  might  be  scattered  about, 
and  then  seated  herself  with  an  air  of  preparedness, 
as  if  she  was  perfectly  on  guard  and  not  to  be  taken 
by  surprise  by  anything  that  might  occur.  She 
volunteered  a  frozen  remark  or  two  about  the  state 
of  the  weather,  and  then  subsided  into  silence,  evi- 
dently waiting  to  hear  the  object  of  the  visit. 

Her  appearance  and  demeanor  had  instantly  frozen 
out  of  the  voyager's  mind  all  thoughts  of  marriage  ; 
he  would  as  soon  have  wedded  an  iceberg,  or  have 
taken  to  his  heart  of  hearts  a  thermometer  with  its 
mercury  frozen  solid.  All  he  could  do  was  to  buy  a 
dollar's  worth  of  her  clairvoya&ce  and  then  get  out. 

As  soon  therefore  as  the  first  chill  had  passed  off, 


Mrs.  Seymour.  209 

and  he  had  thawed  out  a  few  words  for  immediate  use 
he  asked  for  a  little  of  that  commodity. 

When  as  he  announced  that  he  desired  to  know 
about  the  present  well  or  ill  of  some  absent  friends, 
and  that  clairvoyance  was  the  branch  of  her  business 
which  would  on  this  occasion  be  called  into  requisi- 
tion, she  rose  from  her  seat,  walked  to  the  door,  never 
taking  her  eyes  from  the  hands  and  pockets  of  her 
customer,  and  called  to  some  one  to  come  in.  In 
obedience  to  the  summons,  the  frowzy  girl  entered ; 
this  latter  individual,  since  her  first  appearance,  had 
taken  off  her  apron  and  pinned  some  kind  of  a  collar 
around  her  neck,  but  had  not  yet  found  time  to  comb 
her  hair,  which  was  exceedingly  demonstrative,  and 
forced  itself  upon  attention. 

Mrs.  Seymour  seated  herself  in  a  rocking-chair  and 
closed  her  eyes ;  the  plump  girl  stood  behind  her  and 
pressed  her  thumbs  firmly  upon  the  temples  of  Mrs. 
S.  for  about  two  minutes,  during  which  time  this  lat- 
ter lady  lost  every  instant  something  of  life  and  ani- 
mation, until  at  last  she  froze  up  entirely.  Then  the 


21D         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

frowzy  girl  made  one  or  two  mysterious  mesmeric 
passes  over  the  sleeping  beauty  from  her  head  to  her 
feet,  to  fix  her  in  the  iceberg  state ;  then  placing  the 
hand  of  Mrs.  S.  in  the  palm  of  the  customer,  she 
left  the  room. 

The  worst  of  it  was  that  Mrs.  Seymour's  hand  is 
not  an  agreeable  one  to  hold ;  it  is  cold  and  flabby,  and 
not  suggestive  of  vitality.  Her  face,  too,  had  become 
pallid  and  corpse-like,  and  her  thin  blue  lips  were  not 
pleasant  to  regard.  Johannes  was  puzzled ;  he  didn't 
know  what  to  do  with  the  flabby  hand,  and  how  he 
was  to  get  any  information  about  absent  friends  from 
a  fast-asleep  woman  he  did  not,  as  yet,  exactly  com- 
prehend. At  this  juncture,  the  lips  asked,  "  Where 
am  I  to  go  to  ?"  The  sitter  suppressed  a  sulphurous 
reply,  and  substituted,  "  To  Minnesota."  Thereupon, 
without  any  more  definite  direction  as  to  what  part 
of  that  rather  extensive  territory  she  was  expected  to 
visit,  she  sent  her  spirit  off,  and  immediately  uttered 
these  words : 

"  I  see  two  old  people,  two  very  old  people — one  is 


Mrs.  Seymour.  2 1 1 

a  man  and  one  is  a  woman ;  one  of  them  has  been 
very  sick  of  bilious  fever,  but  is  now  better,  and  will 
soon  be  quite  well  again.  I  can't  tell  exactly  how 
these  people  look  except  that  they  are  very  old  and 
both  are  very  grey.  They  may  be  husband  and  wife. 
I  think  they  are.  They  are  both  sitting  down  now. 
I  also  see  two  young  people — one  of  them  is  a  male 
and  the  other  a  female.  The-  male  I  do  not  perceive 
very  plainly,  and  I  cannot  make  out  much  about  him ; 
he  seems  to  be  standing  up  and  looking  very  sad,  but 
I  can't  tell  you  a  great  deal  about  him.  The  female 
I  can  see  much  better,  and  can  make  out  more  about. 
She  is  tall,  and  has  dark  hair.  She  appears  to  be 
connected  in  some  way  to  the  old  people,  but  I  do  not 
think  she  is  related  to  the  young  man,  though  I  can- 
not exactly  make  out.  She  is  a  very  agreeable-look- 
ing female,  rather  pretty,  I  should  say,  if  not  posi- 
tively handsome.  She  has  straight  hair  and  does  not 
wear  curls.  She  is  standing  up  now,  and  appears  to 
be  talking  to  the  young  man,  who  has  his  back  partly 
turned  toward  her.  I  don't  quite  make  out  what  they 


212         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

are  saying.  She  has  had  a  very  severe  attack  of  sick- 
ness, but  has  nearly  or  quite  recovered.  She  is  not, 
however,  what  I  should  call  a  healthy  female,  and  she 
will  soon  have  another  fit  of  sickness,  which  will  be 
worse  than  the  first,  and  will  bring  her  very  low  indeed 
— very  near  to  death.  But  she  will  not  die  then,  though 
she  is  not  what  I  should  call  a  long-lived  person. 
She  will  certainly  die  in  six  or  eight  years.  What 
disease  she  will  die  of  I  can't  just  make  out,  but  it 
will  not  be  of  a  lingering  character :  it  will  carry  her 
off  suddenly.  These  people  are  all  very  anxious 
about  you,  as  if  you  was  one  of  their  family.  They 
have  not  heard  from  you  lately,  and  are  looking  daily 
for  intelligence  from  you.  They  have  written  to  you 
twice  within  three  months.  One  of  the  letters  got  to 
this  city — a  man  took  it  out  of  the  mail.  I  don't 
know  where  he  took  it  out,  and  I  can't  exactly 
describe  the  man,  but  a  man  took  it  out  of  the  mail. 
These  people  are  not  satisfied  to  live  where  they  are 
now;  they  are  discontented  with  the  country,  and 
will  return  here  in  the  Spring.  They  are  talking 


Mrs.  Seymour.  213 

about  it  now.  They  would  like  to  come  back  this 
Winter,  but  circumstances  are  so  that  they  cannot. 
You  may  be  sure,  however,  that  you  will  see  them 
here  in  the  Spring.  There  is  no  doubt  of  it ;  they 
will  come  here  in  the  Spring.  The  other  letter  that  I 
told  you  of  that  they  had  written  has  got  here  safe, 
and  is  now  in  the  Post-Office.  You  will  find  it  there 
if  you  inquire ;  you  will  be  sure  to  get  it  as  soon  as 
you  go  down  to  the  office." 

This  was  delivered  in  a  very  jerky  manner,  with 
occasional  twitchings  of  the  face  and  violent  claspings 
of  the  hand,  which  her  visitor  retained,  although  it 
gave  him  a  cold  sweat  to  do  it.  Johannes,  who  has 
friends  in  Minnesota, 'and  whose  questions  were  there- 
fore all  in  good  faith,  tried  to  get  the  sleeping  female 
to  descend  a  little  more  to  particulars,  to  describe  indi- 
viduals or  localities  minutely  enough  to  be  recognised 
if  the  descriptions  approached  the  truth;  but  Mrs. 
Seymour  was  not  to  be  caught  in  this  manner.  She 
invariably  dodged  the  question,  and  dealt  only  in  the 
most  vague  and  uncertain  generalities — giving  no 


214         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

description  of  persons  or  things  that  might  not  have 
applied  with  equal  accuracy  to  a  hundred  other  per- 
sons or  things  in  that  or  any  other  locality.  Her 
assertions  concerning  the  persons  supposed  to  be  her 
customer's  friends  did  not  approach  the  truth  in  any 
one  particular ;  nor  was  there  the  slightest  shadow  of 
even  probability  in  any  single  statement  she  uttered. 
She  is  not,  however,  a .  woman  to  lack  customers,  so 
long  as  there  remain  in  the  world  fools  of  either  sex. 
When  the  inquirer  had  concluded  his  questioning, 
he  was  somewhat  at  a  loss  how  to  awake  the  woman 
from  her  trance,  but  she  solved  that  little  difficulty 
herself  by  opening  her  eyes  (as  if  she  had  been  wide 
awake  all  the  time)  and  calling  for  the  beauteous 
maiden  of  the  snarly  hair,  who  accordingly  appeared 
and  made  a  few  mysterious  mesmeric  passes  length- 
wise of  her  sleeping  mistress,  and  awoke  her  to  the 
necessity  of  dunning  her  visitor,  which  she  did 
instantly  and  with  a  relish.  He  paid  the  demanded 
dollar  and  departed. 


CHAPTER    X. 


Describes  Madame  Carzo,  the  Brazilian  Astrologist,  of  No. 

1 5 1  Bowery,  and  gives  all  the  romantic  adventures 

of  the  "  Individual "  with  that  gay 

South  American  Naiad. 


CHAPTER  X. 

MADAME  CARZO,    THE    BRAZILIAN    ASTROLO- 
GIST,  No.  151  BOWERY, 

THE  illustrious  lady  who  is  the  subject  of  the  present 
chapter,  came  to  the  city  of  New  York  in  1856,  and  at 
once  took  lodgings  and  began  business  in  the  fortune- 
telling  way.  She  did  well,  pecuniarily  speaking,  for 
a  time,  but  the  details  of  a  visit  to  her  having  been 
published  at  length  in  one  of  the  daily  journals,  she 
at  once  retired  from  the  business,  and  subsided  into 
private  life.  She  is  not  now  extant  as  a  witch,  and  it 
is  not  impossible  that  she  is  earning  an  honester  living 
in  other  ways. 

The  newspaper  article  that  convinced  her  of  the 
error  of  her  ways,  and  induced  her  to  give  up  fortune- 
telling,  is  the  subjoined  chapter  by  the  "Individual :" 

10 


21 8         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

He  meets  a  Yankee-Brazilian.    She  is  not  ill-looking,  etc. 

Whether  the  budding  beauties  of  maidenhood  are- 
inconsistent  with  the  orgies  of  witchcraft;  whether 
there  be  an  irreconcilable  antagonism  between  youth 
and  loveliness,  and  the  unknown  mysteries  of  the  black 
art,  is  a  vexed  question  of  some  interest.  Can't  a 
woman  be  supposed  to  indulge  in  a  little  devilment 
before  her  hair  turns  grey,  and  her  teeth  fall  out?  and 
is  it  impossible  for  her  to  have  reliable  and  trustworthy 
dealings  with  Old  Scratch  until  she  is  wrinkled  and 
withered  ? 

That's  what  I  want  to  know. 

And  I  am  very  naturally  urged  to  the  inquiry  by  the 
observation  that  every  professional  witch  in  New  York 
calls  herself  a  "  Madame."  There  is  not  a  "Miss"  or  a 
"  Mademoiselle,"  in  the  whole  batch.  They  all  make 
a  pretence  of  being  widows,  or  wives  at  the  very  least, 
as  if  a  certain  amount  of  matrimonial  tribulation  was 
indispensable  to  their  accomplishment  in  the  arts  of 
sorcery  and  magic.  The  only  exception  to  this  rule  is 


Madame  Carzo.  219 

found  in  the  person  of  a  female  calling  herself  "  The 
Gipsy  Girl,"  who  is  otherwheres  mentioned,  and  in 
her  case  the  several  agencies  of  nature,  rum,  and  small- 
pox have  made  her  so  strikingly  ugly  that  old  age 
could  not  add  a  single  other  trait  of  repulsiveness  to 
her  excruciating  features. 

Now  this  is  all  a  sad  mistake.  Let  some  young  and 
undeniably  pretty  girl  go  into  the  business,  and  she'd 
soon  get  a  run  of  exclusive  customers  who  would  stand 
any  price  and  pay  without  grumbling.  If  the  original 
Satan  should  refuse  to  recognise  her  eligibility,  and 
should  decline  to  furnish  her  with  the  requisite  quantity 
of  diabolic  knowledge  to  set  her  up  in  business,  she 
could  easily  find  an  opposition  devil  who  would  provide 
her  stock  in  trade,  and  possibly  at  something  less  than 
the  usual  rates.  I'll  be  bound  that  Lucifer  doesn't 
monopolize  the  whole  trade  in  witchcraft,  and  pocket 
all  the  profits  himself;  Tor  if  some  of  the  numerous 
clerks  in  his  employ  haven't  yet  learned  the  trick  of 
stealing  the  stock  and  selling  it  at  a  reduced  price, 
then  the  young  gentlemen  of  our  earthly  mercantile 


22O          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

houses  are  a  good  deal  up-to-smiffer  than  the  virtuous 
demons  of  Mr.  Satan's  establishment.  This  last-named 
dealer  generally  demands  the  soul  of  the  contracting 
party  in  return  for  the  powers  and  privileges  conferred ; 
and  in  very  many  cases  he  must  get  decidedly  the  worst 
of  the  bargain,  for  some  of  his  precious  adopted  children 
never  had  souU  enough  to  pay  for  the  ink  to  sign  it 
away  with;  but  there  is  no  doubt,  in  case  a  brisk 
competition  should  arise  for  customers,  that  some  of 
his  cashiers  and  head-clerks  would  contrive  to  under- 
sell him  even  at  this  price. 

The  person  who  is  so  very  anxious  to  effect  this 
desirable  consummation,  and  to  bring  on  a  crop  of 
young  and  pretty  witches  to  supersede  the  grizzled 
ones  of  this  present  generation  was  Johannes,  who  had 
of  late  been  getting  rather  sick  of  the  "Madames,"  and 
would  prefer,  if  possible,  to  have  the  rest  of  his  fortunes 
told  by  ladies  of  tenderer  agefand  greater  inexperience 
in  the  ways  of  the  world. 

However,  he  was  not  the  man  to  be  deterred,  in  his 
pursuit  of  wisdom,  by  the  age  and  ugliness,  grey  hairs, 


Madame  Carzo.  221 

wrinkles,  false  teeth,  no  teeth,  dirt,  ignorance,  and 
imbecility  lie  had  encountered,  and  he  was  determined 
to  go  on  to  the  very  end  and  see  if  these  are  the  sum 
total  of  modern  witchcraft. 

And  then  duns  came  o'er  the  spirit  of  his  dream, 
and  fond  visions  of  sundry  small  debts,  paid  by  magic 
and  a  wife,  as  soon  as  he  should  succeed  in  finding  the 
wife  who  had  the  magic,  floated  across  his  hard-up 
brain,  and  encouraged  him  to  perseverance  in  his 
matrimonial  quest.  And  when  he  had  won  that 
invaluable  lady,  he  would  stuff  his  mattress  with 
receipted  bills,  and  cram  his  pillow  with  cancelled 
notes,  lie  down  to  pleasant  dreams,  and  awake  to 
ready  cash. 

Sweet  thought ! 

So  he  made  ready  to  visit  the  humble  abode  of 
MADAME  CARZO,  THE  BRAZILIAN  ASTROLOGIST, 
No.  151  Bowery. 

To  say  that  he  discovered,  in  this  lady,  the  ideal  of 
his  search,  that  he  found  her  handsome,  intelligent, 
learned  in  the  stars  and  thoroughly  posted  in  the  other 


222         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

branches  of  her  trade,  would  be  to  anticipate.  Suffice 
to  say  that  boa-constrictors,  half-naked  savages,  dye- 
woods,  Jesuit's  bark,  cockatoos,  scorpions  and  ring- 
tailed  monkeys,  are  not,  as  he  had  hitherto  supposed, 
the  only  contributions  to  the  happiness  of  mankind 
afforded  by  South  America,  for  the  Province  of 
Brazil  grows  fortune-tellers  of  a  very  superior  quality 
as  to  respectability  and  neatness  of  appearance.  A 
Brazilian  witch  was  something  new,  and  without 
stopping  to  inquire  how  she  had  strayed  so  far  away 
from  home,  he  immediately  argued  that  that  single 
fact  was  decidedly  in  her  favor.  Thus  ran  the  logic : 

If  there  be  any  diabolism  in  mo4ern  witchcraft,  the 
practisers  thereof  who  have  received  their  education 
in  tropical  latitudes  ought  to  be  the  most  worthy  of 
credence  and  belief,  inasmuch  as  the  temperature  of 
their  places  of  residence  seems  to  afford  a  supposition 
that  they  live  nearer  head-quarters,  and  are,  therefore, 
most  likely  to  receive  information  by  the  shortest 
routes. 

By  the  time  he  arrived  at  the  spot  where  the  great 


Madame  Carzo.  223 

astrologist  condescended  to  abide,  he  had,  by  this 
course  of  reasoning,  convinced  himself  that  he  ought 
to  place  implicit  confidence  in  any  revelations  of  the 
future  made  by  the  mysterious  woman  who  adver- 
tised herself  and  her  calling,  daily  in  the  papers  as 
follows : 

"MADAME  CARZO,  the  gifted  Brazilian  Astrologist,  tells  the 
fate  of  every  person  who  visits  her  with  wonderful  accuracy, 
about  love,  marriage,  business,  property,  losses,  things  stolen, 
luck  in  lotteries,  absent  friends,  at  No.  151  Bowery,  corner  of 
Broome." 

The  South  American  lady  had  located  her  myste- 
rious self  in  a  fragrant  spot. 

The  corner  of  Bowery  and  Broome  Street  and 
vicinity  seems  to  have  some  kind  of  a  constitutional 
disorder,  and  it  relieves  itself  by  a  cutaneous  eruption 
of  low  rum  shops  and  pustulous  beer  saloons,  which 
always  look  as  if  they  ought  to  be  squeezed  and 
rubbed  with  ointment  of  red  lead.  To  an  observing 
person  it  appears  as  if  the  city  wanted  to  scratch  itself 


224         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

in  that  particular  part  to  relieve  the  local  irritation, 
and  then  ought,  for  the  sake  of  its  general  health,  to 
take  a  large  dose  of  brimstone  immediately  afterward. 
The  liquors  sold  at  these  places  are  those  pure  and 
healthful  beverages,  "  warranted  to  kill  at  forty  rods," 
and  are  the  very  drinks  with  which  a  convivial,  but 
revengeful  man,  would  wish  to  regale  his  friend 
against  whom  he  held  a  secret  grudge.  Why 
Madame  Carzo  had  chosen  this  particular  locality, 
does  not  appear ;  perhaps  because  the  liquor  was 
cheap  and  the  rent  low.  Certain  it  is  that  there  she 
sat,  at  a  window  overlooking  the  Bowery,  in  full 
view  of  all  the  pedestrians  in  the  street  and  the  pas- 
sengers in  the  4th  Avenue  Railroad. 

Madame  Carzo  was,  doubtless,  deeply  attached  to 
her  old  Brazilian  home,  and  loved  to  surround 
herself  with  circumstances  and  things  that  would 
constantly  and  vividly  recall  pleasant  memories  of  her 
southern  country.  Cherishing,  probably,  kindly  and 
regretful  remembrances  of  the  harmless  reptiles  of 
her  own  Brazilian  forests,  she  had  taken  up  her  abode 


Madame  Carzo.  225 

in  the  very  thick  of  the  Bowery  bar-rooms,  as  the 
only  things  afforded  by  our  frigid  climate,  at  all 
approaching  in  life-destroying  malignity  the  speedier 
venoms  to  which  she  had  been  accustomed  in  her 
delightful  southern  home.  First-rate  facilities  for 
drugging  a  man  into  a  state  of  crazy  madness  are 
offered  at  the  bar  across  the  way ;  he  may  swill  him- 
self into  a  condition  of  beastly  stupidity  with  lager 
beer  from  next  door  below ;  he  may  be  pleasantly 
poisoned  by  degrees  with  the  drugged  alcohol,  in 
various  forms,  which  is  sold  next  door  above ;  or  he 
may  be  more  speedily  disposed  of  with  a  couple  of 
doses  of  "  doctored  "  whiskey  from  the  festering  den 
just  round  the  corner.  Lucrezia  Borgia  was  a 
novice,  a  mere  babe  in  toxicology.  New  York 
wholesale  liquor  dealers  could  teach  her  the  alphabet 
in  the  fine  art  of  slow  poisoning.  She  would  no 
longer  need  the  subtle  chemistry  of  the  Borgias ;  she 
could  learn  of  them  to  poison  wholesale  and  to  do  the 
work  by  labor-saving  machinery. 

Johannes,  resolved  that  if  he   should   marry  the 


226         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

astrologist  he  would  move  out  of  the  neighborhood, 
and  take  a  house  in  a  cleaner  part  of  the  city, 
for  he  felt  that  if  he  had  to  do  even  the  courting  here, 
he  would  have  to  fumigate  himself  after  every  visit 
to  his  lady-love  as  though  he  had  just  come  out  of  a 
yellow-fever  ship.  He  knew  that  if  he  should  chance 
to  meet  the  Health  Officer  in  the  street  after  a  two 
hours'  stay  in  that  locality,  that  trusty  official  would, 
from  the  unhealthy  smell  of  his  coat,  quarantine  him 
for  forty  days,  and  put  him  up  to  his  neck  in  a  barrel 
of  chloride  of  lime  every  morning. 

But  a  full-fledged  Cupid  is  a  plucky  animal,  and 
not  easily  killed  by  anything  no  more  tangible  than 
smell,  and  the  particular  Cupid  that  had  possession 
of  the  voyager's  heart  came  of  a  long-suffering  breed, 
and  was  equal  to  almost  any  emergency.  So  as 
Johannes  did  not  feel  his  ardent  passion  die,  or  even 
turn  sick  at  the  stomach,  he  thought  he  could  ma- 
nage to  get  through.  If  he  couldn't  get  along  any 
other  way,  he  could  fill  his  pockets  with  brimstone 
matches,  and  his  boots  full  of  blue  vitriol.  Or  he 


Madame  Carzo.  227 

could  carry  a  bunch  of  Chinese  fire-crackers  in  his 
hat,  and  touch  them  off  on  the  sly  whenever  he  felt 
himself  in  need  of  a  healthy  smell.  Then  he  could 
wash  himself  all  over  in  lime-water,  and  drink  a  quart 
or  so  of  some  liquid  disinfectant  every  time  he  came 
away.  So  he  went  ahead. 

Madame  Carzo,  the  Brazilian  interpreter  of  Yankee 
fate  and  fortunes,  lives  in  the  third  story  of  the  house 
No.  151  Bowery,  with  her  sister,  a  girl  of  about 
fifteen  years  of  age.  The  £wo  occupy  themselves 
with  plain  sewing,  except  when  the  Madame  is  over- 
hauling the  future  and  taking  a  look  at  the  hereafter 
of  some  anxious  inquirer,  who  pays  her  as  much  for 
the  reliable  information  she  imparts  in  three  minutes, 
as  she  would  charge  him  for  making  three  shirts. 
The  inquirer  gave  his  customary  modest  ring  at  the 
door,  and  was  admitted  with  as  little  question  as  if  he 
had  been  the  taxes,  the  Croton  water,  or  the  gas.  Up 
the  two  flights  of  stairs  walked  the  gentleman  in  the 
pursuit  of  witchcraft,  gave  a  bashful  knock  at  the 
door,  at  the  side  of  which  was  painted,  on  a  small  bit 


228          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

of  pasteboard,  "  Madame  Carzo  " — repented  of  his 
temerity  before  the  echo  of  the  knock  had  died  away, 
but  was  admitted  into  the  room  before  his  repentance 
had  time  to  develop  itself  into  running  away. 

A  shabby -looking  girl,  with  her  hair  in  as  much 
confusion  as  if  the  city  had  contracted  to  keep  it 
straight,  with  one  ear-ring  in  her  ear,  and  the  other 
on  the  table,  with  her  shoes  down  at  the  heel,  her 
dress  unhooked  behind,  and  her  breast-pin  wrong  side 
up,  was  the  model  yoijng  woman  who  had  answered 
the  knock.  She  had  evidently  been  engaged  in  an 
animated  single  combat  with  another  young  woman, 
of  about  the  same  quality  and  age,  who  was  seated  on 
a  low  stool  in  the  corner,  for  she  instantly  renewed 
hostilities  by  stabbing  her  antagonist  in  the  arm  with 
a  needle,  tapping  her  on  the  head  with  a  thimble,  and 
kicking  her  pin-cushion  under  the  table,  so  she  could 
not  recover  it  without  crawling  on  her  hands  and 
knees. 

On  a  small  sofa  or  lounge  at  the  side  of  the  room 
was  a  quantity  of  what  ladies  call  "  work,"  thrown 


Madame  Carzo.  229 

down  in  a  great  hurry,  with  the  needle  yet  sticking  in 
it,  and  the  scissors,  and  the  beeswax,  and  the  measur- 
ing tape,  and  the  bodkin  half-concealed  inside,  as  if 
the  knock  at  the  door  had  startled  the  needle- woman, 
and  she  had  flown  to  parts  unknown.  It  was 
undoubtedly  Madame  Carzo  herself  who  had  so  uncere- 
moniously deserted  her  colors  and  her  weapons,  and 
Johannes  looked  at  the  needle  with  veneration, 
viewed  the  thimble  with  respect,  and  regarded  the 
beeswax  and  the  bodkin  with  concentrated  awe. 

A  small  cooking-stove  was  in  the  side  of  the  room, 
and  immediately  over  it  was  a  picture  of  St.  Andrew 
in  such  a  position  that  he  could  smell  all  the  dinners ; 
a  number  of  other  pictures  of  Koman  Catholic  sub- 
jects were  neatly  framed  and  hanging  against  the 
wall.  St.  Somebody  taking  his  ease  on  an  X-shaped 
cross,  St.  Somebody  Else  comfortably  cooking  on  a 
gridiron,  and  St.  Somebody,  different  from  either  of 
these,  impaled  on  a  spear  like  a  bug  in  an  Entomolo- 
gical Museum.  There  was  also  an  atrocious  colored 
print  labelled  "  Millard  Fillmore,"  which,  if  it  at  all 


230          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

resembled  that  venerated  gentleman,  must  have  been 
taken  when  he  had  the  measles,  complicated  with 
the  mumps  and  toothache,  and  was  attired  in  a  sky- 
blue  coat,  a  red  cravat,  yellow  vest,  and  butternut- 
colored  pantaloons. 

The  room  was  neatly  furnished  with  carpet,  table, 
chairs,  cheap  mirror,  and  a  lounge.  While  the  visitor 
was  taking  this  observation,  the  two  young  ladies 
before  mentioned  had  continued  to  spar  after  a  femi- 
nine fashion,  and  had  finished  about  three  rounds; 
the  model,  who  had  answered  the  bell,  had  got  the 
other  one,  who  was  black-haired  and  vicious,  under 
the  table,  and  was  following  up  her  advantage  by 
sticking  a  bodkin  into  the  tender  places  on  her  feet 
and  ancles.  When  the  model  had  at  length  thoroughly 
subjugated  and  subdued  the  black-haired  one,  and 
reduced  her  to  a  state  of  passive  misery,  she  turned  to 
her  visitor  with  an  amiable  smile,  and  asked  him  if 
he  desired  to  see  the  Madame.  Keceiving  an  affirma- 
tive reply,  she  gave  a  sly  kick  to  her  fallen  foe,  step- 
ped on  her  toes  under  pretence  of  moving  away  a 


Madame  Carzo.  231 

chair,  and  then  disappeared  into  another  room  to 
inform  Madame  Carzo  that  visitors  and  dollars  were 
awaiting  her  respectful  consideration  in  the  ante- 
room. 

The  "gifted  Brazilian  astrologist"  regarded  the 
suggestion  with  a  favorable  eye,  for  the  model  soon 
re-appeared  and  showed  the  searcher  after  hidden 
knowledge  into  a  bedroom  nearly  dark,  wherein 
were  several  dresses  hanging  on  the  wall,  a  bed,  two 
chairs,  a  table,  and  Madame  Carzo.  The  light  was  so 
arranged  as  to  fall  directly  in  the  face  of  the  stranger, 
while  the  countenance  of  the  Madame  was,  to  a  cer- 
tain extent,  hidden  in  shadow. 

Johannes,  nevertheless,  in  spite  of  this  disadvan- 
tage, by  careful  observation,  is  enabled  to  give  a 
tolerably  accurate  description  of  Madame  Carzo,  as 
follows :  She  is  a  tall,  comely-looking  woman,  with 
unusually  large  black  eyes,  clear  complexion,  dark 
hair  worn  d  la  Jenny  Lind,  a  small  hand,  clean,  and 
with  the  nails  trimmed,  and  she  has  a  low  sweet 
voice.  Her  dress  was  lady-like,  being  a  neat  half- 


232  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

mourning  plaid,  with  a  plain  linen  collar  at  the  neck, 
turned  smoothly  over ;  altogether,  Madame  Carzo, 
the  Brazilian  astrologist,  who  speaks  without  a 
symptom  of  foreign  accent,  impressed  her  customer  as 
/  being  a  transplanted  Yankee  school  ma'am,  with 
shrewdness  enough  to  see  that  while  civilization  and 
enlightenment  would  only  pay  her  twenty  dollars  a 
month,  and  superstition  and  ignorance  would  give  her 
twice  that  sum  in  a  week,  she  couldn't,  of  course, 
afford  to  live  in  a  civilized  and  enlightened  neighbor- 
hood, and  depend  exclusively  on  civilization  and 
enlightenment  for  a  living. 

And  Johannes  was  smitten,  he  had  found  her,  and 
if  his  fortune  was  propitious  he  would  yet  win  and 
wed  the  Brazilian  astrologist,  and  she  should  have 
the  honor  of  paying  his  debt,  and  earning  his  bread 
and  butter.  But  he  would  make  no  advances  yet  for 
fear  of  accidents ;  he  would  not  commit  himself  until 
he  ha*d  called  upon  the  rest  of  the  witches  on  his  list, 
to  see,  if  perchance,  he  might  not  find  one  more 
eligible.  If  not,  then  by  all  means  Madame  Carzo 


Madame  Carzo.  233 

should  be  the  chosen  one.  The  first  thing  evi- 
dently was  to  ascertain  her  proficiency  in  the  magic 
arts. 

The  sorceress  and  the  anxious  inquirer  seated 
themselves  face  to  face,  and  the  following  dialogue 
ensued :  "  Do  you  wish  to  consult  me,  Sir  ?"  "  Yes." 
"  My  terms  are  a  dollar  for  gentlemen." 
The  expected  dollar  was  handed  over,  when  the 
'cute  Yarikeeism  of  the  Brazilian  lady  blazed  out 
brilliantly,  for  she  instantly  produced  a  "  Thompson's 
Bank-note  Detector  "  from  under  a  pillow,  and  a  one 
dollar  note,  issued  by  the  President  and  Directors  of 
the  "  Quinnipiack  Bank  "  of  Connecticut,  underwent 
a  severe  scrutiny.  At  last  the  genuineness  of  the  bill 
and  the  solvency  of  the  bank  were  certified  to  the 
Madame's  satisfaction,  in  his  oracular  pamphlet, 
by  Thompson  with  a  "  p,"  and  Madame  Carzo  was 
evidently  satisfied  that  her  customer  didn't  mean  to 
swindle  her,  but  was  good  for  small  debts  not  exceed- 
ing one  dollar  each.  Accordingly  she  took  his  left 
hand,  regarded  it  for  some  time,  apparently  delighted 


234         Tke   Witches  of  New  York. 

with  its  model  symmetry,  but  at  last  so  far  conquered 
her  silent  admiration  as  to  speak  and  say : 

-"  You  were  born  under  two  planets,  Moon  and 
Mars,  Moon  brings  you  a  great  deal  of  trouble  in  the 
early  part  of  your  life.  Moon  has  occasioned  a  great 
deal  of  anxiety  to  your  parents  on  your  account. 
Moon  made  you  liable  to  accidents  and  misfortunes 
while  you  was  a  boy,  and  Moon  will  give  you  great 
trouble  until  you  arrive  at  middle  age.  You  were 
born,  I  should  say,  across  the  water,  and  you  will  die 
across  the  water  in  a  city,  but  not  a  great  city.  You 
are,  I  should  say,  now  far  away  from  that  city,  and 
from  your  home,  and  parents,  and  friends,  who  are,  I 
should  say,  all  now  far  across  the  water.  You  will 
be  sure,  however,  I  should  say,  for  to  see  them  all 
before  you  die,  and  to  die  in  the  city  that  I  told  you 
of.  Your  line  of  life  runs  to  60 ;  you  will,  I  should 
say,  live  to  be  60,  but  not  much  after.  Moon  will 
cause  you  much  trouble  for  many  years,  but  you  will 
be  certain  for  to  succeed  well  in  the  end,  I  should 
say.  You  will  be  certain  for  to  have  final  success 


Madame  Carzo.  235 

and  to  conquer  every  obstacle,  in  spite  of  Moon,  I 
should  say." 

Incensed  as  was  Johannes  at  Moon  for  thus  unjus- 
tifiably interfering  with  his  prospects  and  meddling 
with  his  private  affairs,  he  still  admired  the  more  the 
profitable  science  of  the  wonderful  lady  whose 
acquirements  in  magic  had  given  her  so  intimate  an 
acquaintance  with  Moon,  as  to  enable  her  to  tell  so 
exactly  the  plans  and  intentions  of  that  unruly  and 
adverse  planet. 

He  mastered  his  indignation  and  listened  attentively 
to  the  sequel. 

On  the  small  stand  were  two  packs  of  cards  of 
different  sizes,  and  a  volume  of  Byron.  Madame 
Carzo  took  up  one  pack  of  the  cards,  presented  them 
to  the  young  man,  waited  for  them  to  be  cut  three 
times,  after  which  she  said : 

"  You  face  up  a  good  fortune  I  should  say,  you 
have  had  trouble  but  can  now,  I  should  say,  see  the 
end  of  it — you  face  up  money,  which  is  coming  to  you 
from  over  the  water,  I  should  say,  and  you  will  be 


236          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

sure  for  to  get  it  before  a  great  while.  You  will 
never  have  much  money  from  relations  or  friends, 
though  you  will,  I  should  say,  perhaps  have  some — 
but  though  you  will  handle  a  great  deal  of  money  in 
your  lifetime  you  will  make  the  most  of  it  yourself, 
I  should  say — you  will  not,  however,  I  should  say, 
ever  be  able  for  to  become  very  rich,  for  you  will 
never  be  able  for  to  keep  money,  although  you  will 
have  the  handling  of  a  great  deal  in  your  life.  No,  I 

am  certain  that  you  will  never  be  rich." 

QI 

Here  Johannes  remembered  the  malicious  influence 
of  Moon  upon  his  fortunes,  and  as  he  clinched  his 
fists,  felt  as  if  he  would  like  to  get  at  the  man  who 
resides  in  that  ill-conditioned  planet,  and  have  a  back- 
hold  wrestle  with  him  on  stony  ground. 

But  the  astrologist  continued  thus :  "  You  face  up 
a  letter ;  you  also  face  up  good  news  which  is  to  come 
speedily  I  should  say ;  you  don't  face  up  a  sick  bed, 
or  a  coffin,  or  a  funeral,  or  any  kind  of  immediate  bad 
luck  that  I  am  able  to  see.  You  face  up  two  men, 
one  dark  and  one  light  complexioned.  You  must 


Madame  Carzo.  237 

beware  of  the  dark-complexioned  man,  for  I  should  say 
he  will  do  you  an  injury  if  you  allow  him  for  to  have 
a  chance.  You  like  to  study :  the  kind  of  business 
you  would  do  best  in  is  doctor.  You  face  up  a  liglit- 
complexioned  lady ;  you  will,  I  should  say,  be  able 
to  marry  this  lady,  though  a  dark-complexioned  man 
stands  in  the  way.  You  must,  I  should  say,  be  par- 
ticularly careful  to  beware  of  the  dark-complexioned 
man.  You  will  be  married  twice;  your  first  wife 
will  die,  but  your  last  wife,  I  should  say,  will  be 
likely  for  to  outlive  you.  You  will  have  three 
children,  which  will  be  all,  I  should  say,  that  you  will 
be  likely  for  to  have." 

And  this  was  all  for  the  present,  except  that  she 
told  her  visitor  that  he  might  draw  thirteen  cards, 
and  make  a  wish,  which  he  did,  and  she,  on  carefully 
examining  the  cards,  told  him  that  he  would  certainly 
have  his  wish. 

Cheered  by  this  last  grateful  promise,  and  bidding 
a  mental  defiance  to  Moon,  the  traveller  left  the  room. 
In  the  reception  chamber  he  found  the  model  and  the 


238          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

black-eyed  one  just  coming  to  time  for  what  lie  should 
judge  was  the  twenty-seventh  round,  both  much 
damaged  in  the  hair,  but  plucky  to  the  last. 

Johannes  walked  briskly  away,  feeling  that  his 
matrimonial  prospects  were  brighter  now  than  for 
many  a  day,  and  fully  determined  that  if,  on  going 
further  he  fared  worse,  he  would  certainly  retrace  his 
steps  and  wed  Madame  Carzo  off-hand. 


CHAPTER    XI. 


In    tfhich   is   set    down   the    prophecy  of  Madame   Leander 

Lent,  of  No.    163   Mulberry  Street;  and  how  she 

promised  her  Customer  numerous  Wives 

and  Children. 


CHAPTER  XL 

MADAME  LEANDER  LENT,  No.   163  MULBERRY 
STREET. 

I  HAYE  before  suggested,  in  as  plain  terms  as  the 
peculiar  nature  of  the  subject  will  allow,  that  these 
fortune-telling  women,  having  most  of  them  been 
prostitutes  in  their  younger  days,  in  their  withered 
age  become  professional  procuresses,  and  make  a 
trade  of  the  betrayal  of  innocence  into  the  power 
of  Lust  and  Lechery.  This  assertion  is  so  eminently 
probable  that  few  will  be  inclined  to  dispute  it, 
but  I  wish  to  be  understood  that  this  is  no  matter 
of  mere  surmise  with  me — it  is  a  proven  fact.  And 
the  evidences  of  its  truth  have  been  gathered,  not 
alone  from  the  formal  and  hurried  records  of  the 
police  courts,  but  from  the  lips  of  certain  inmates 

of    various    Magdalen    Asylums    who    have    been 

11 


242         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

reclaimed  from  their  former  homes  of  shame ;  and  from 
the  mouths  of  other  repentant  women,  who,  under  cir- 
cumstances where  there  was  no  object  to  deceive,  and 
at  times  when  their  hearts  were  full  of  grateful  love 
for  those  who  had  interposed  to  save  them  from  utter 
despair,  have  in  all  simple  truthfulness  and  honor, 
related  their  life-histories.  It  is  impossible  to  give 
even  a  plausible  guess  at  the  aggregate  number 
of  young  women,  in  this  great  city,  who  compro- 
mise their  honorable  reputations  in  the  course  of  a 
single  year ;  but  of  those  whose  shame  becomes  pub- 
licly known,  and  especially  of  those  who  eventually 
enter  houses  of  ill-repute,  the  percentage  whose  fall 
was  accomplished  through  the  instrumentality,  more 
or  less  direct,  of  the  professional  fortune-tellers,  is 
astounding.  And  a  curious  fact  connected  with  this 
subject  is,  that  of  these  unfortunates  who  thus  wander 
astray,  not  one  in  ten  but  has  ever  after  the  most 
superstitious  and  implicit  faith  in  the  supernatural 
powers  of  the  witch.  Each  one  sees  in  her  own  case 
certain  things  that  have  been  foretold  to  her  by  the 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  243 

fortune-teller  with  such,  circumstantiality  of  time 
and  place,  and  which  have  afterward?  "come  to 
pass,"  so  exactly  in  accordance  with  the  prophecy, 
that  she  can  only  account  for  it  by  ascribing  super- 
natural prescience  to  the  prophetess. 

The  true  solution  of  the  matter  is,  of  course,  that 
the  wonderful  fulfilments  are  achieved  by  means  of 
confederacy  and  collusion  with  parties  with  whom  the 
dupe  is  never  brought  in  contact ;  a  common  modus 
operandi  of  this  sort  is  elsewhere  described. 

Nor  are  the  fortune-tellers  and  the  brothel- 
keepers  by  any  means  content  with  playing  into  each 
other's  hands  in  a  general  sort  of  way ;  there  are,  in 
New  York,  several  firms,  consisting  each  of  a  fortune- 
teller and  a  mistress  of  a  bawdy-hoxise,  who  have 
entered  into  a  perfectly  organized  business  partner- 
ship, and  who  ply  their  fearful  trade  with  as  much 
zeal  and  enthusiasm  as  is  ever  exhibited  in  the  active 
competition  between  rival  commercial  houses  engaged 
in  legitimate  trade. 

Although  this  fact  is  one  that  cannot  be  substan- 


244          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

tiated  by  the  production  of  any  sworn  documents,  it 
is  as  well  proven  by  the  observations  of  keen-eyed 
detectives  attached  to  the  police  department,  and  to 
some  of  the  charitable  institutions  of  this  city,  as  though 
attested  articles  of  co-partnership  could  be  exhibited 
with  the  signatures  of  the  contracting  parties  attached 
thereto.  A  gentleman  of  this  city,  in  whose  word  I 
have  the  most  perfect  confidence,  tells  me  that  he 
once,  by  a  curious  accident,  overheard  a  business  con- 
sultation between  the  two  members  of  such  a  firm ; 
and  that  such  partnerships  do  exist,  and  that  by  their 
means  hundreds  of  ignorant  young  women,  of  the 
lower  classes,  are  every  year  betrayed  to  their  moral 
ruin,  I  no  more  doubt  than  I  doubt  the  rotundity  of 
the  earth. 

If  the  illustrious  woman  who  is  the  subject  of  the 
present  chapter  should  ever  surmise  that  the  foregoing 
observations  are  intended  to  have  a  personal  applica- 
tion to  herself,  the  author  will  give  her  much  more 
credit  for  sagacity  and  discernment  than  he  did  for 
supernatural  wisdom. 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  245 

Madame  Leander  Lent  is  one  of  the  most  shrewd, 
unscrupulous,  and  dirty  of  all  the  goodly  sisterhood 
of  New  York  witches.  She  has  so  great  a  run  of 
customers  that  her  doors  are  often  besieged  by 
anxious  inquirers  as  early  as  eight  o'clock  in  the 
morning,  and  the  servant  is  frequently  puzzled  to  find 
room  and  chairs  to  accommodate  the  shame-faced 
throng,  till  her  ladyship  sees  fit  to  get  out  of  bed  and 
begin  the  labors  of  the  day.  She  is  then  impartial 
in  the  distribution  of  her  favors ;  the  audiences  are 
governed  by  barber-shop  rules,  and  the  visitors  are 
admitted  to  the  presence  in  the  order  of  their  coming, 
and  any  one  going  out  forfeits  his  or  her  "  turn  "  and  • 
on  returning  must  take  position  at  the  tail  end  of  the 
queue. 

The  Fates  show  no  favoritism. 

The  quarter  in  which  Madame  Lent  has  domiciled 
herself  and  her  familiars,  is  by  no  means  in  the  most 
aristocratic  part  of  the  city.  "Mulberry,"  is  the 
pomological  name  of  the  street,  and  it  has  never  been 
celebrated  for  its  cleanliness  or  for  its  eligibility  as  a 


246         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

site  for  princely  mansions.  In  fact  it  has  been,  on  the 
whole,  rather  neglected  by  that  class  of  society  who 
generally  indulge  in  palatial  luxuries. 

Hercules,  in  his  capacity  of  an  amateur  scavenger, 
once  attempted  the  cleaning  of  the  Augean  stables,  or 
some  such  trifle,  and  his  success  was  trumpeted 
throughout  the  neighborhood  as  a  triumph  of  inge- 
nuity and  perseverance.  If  Hercules  would  come  to 
Gotham  and  try  his  hand  at  the  purgation  of  Mul- 
berry Street,  our  word  for  it,  he  would,  in  less  than  a 
week,  knock  out  his  brains  with  his  own  club  in  utter 
despair. 

There  never  yet  were  swine  with  stomachs  strong 
enough  to  feed  upon  the  garbage  of  its  gutters, 
or  with  instincts  so  perverted  as  to  wallow  in  its  filth. 
Dogs,  lean  and  wild-eyed,  the  outcasts  of  the  canine 
world,  sometimes,  driven  by  sore  stress  of  hunger, 
sneak  here  with  drooping  tails  and  shame-faced  looks, 
to  search  for  bones,  and  then,  wounded  in  their  self- 
respect  by  the  very  act,  they  drag  their  osseous  pro- 
vender to  a  distance,  and  upon  some  sunny  mud-heap, 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  247 

dine  in  dainty  neatness.  The  very  pavement  is 
broken  into  countless  hillocks  and  ruts  like  waves,  as 
if,  in  utter  disgust  at  the  place  and  its  associations, 
the  street  was  trying  to  roll  itself  away  in  stony  bil- 
lows. The  shattered  wrecks  of  worn-out  drays  and 
carts  stand  forsaken  in  the  street,  keeping  each  other 
dismal  company,  while  an  occasional  shackly  wheel- 
barrow makes  the  place  look  as  though,  after  some 
monstrous  fashion,  it  were  a  lying-in  hospital  for 
poverty-stricken  vehicles,  and  the  wheelbarrows  were 
the  new-born  children,  decrepit  even  in  their  baby- 
hood. The  houses  in  this  pleasant  vale  have  a  dis- 
heartened tumble-down  look,  and  give  the  impression 
of  having  been  originally  built  by  apprentices  out  of 
second-hand  material.  They  lean  maliciously  over 
the  narrow  sidewalks,  and  keep  up  a  constant 
threatening  of  a  sudden  collapse  and  a  general  smash 
of  passers-by.  If  the  houses  are  not  dirtier  than  the 
street,  it  is  only  because  every  possible  element  of  filth 
enters  into  the  latter ;  if  they  are  not  dirtier  inside  than 
outside,  it  is  because  superlatives  have  no  superlative. 


248          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

Pawnbrokers'  shops  are  plentiful,  kept  always  by 
sharp-featured  restless  Jews,  who  watch  for  unwary 
passers-by  like  unclean  beasts  crouching  in  noisome, 
dangerous  lairs;  while  bar-rooms  yawn  in  frequent 
cellars  to  devour  bodily  the  victims  the  Jews  only  rob. 

In  this,  one  of  the  dirtiest  streets  in  this  dirty 
metropolis,  directly  opposite  the  English  Lutheran 
Church  of  St.  James,  in  one  of  the  dirtiest  tenant- 
houses  in  the  street,  abideth  Madame  Leander  Lent, 
the  prophetess.  Why  the  mysterious  powers  didn't 
select  an  earthly  representative  with  a  more  reputa- 
ble dwelling-place  is  a  mystery ;  but  there  seems  to 
be  an  inseparable  congeniality  between  prophetic 
knowledge  and  concentrated  nastiness,  utterly  beyond 
all  power  of  explanation.  The  Madame  advises  the 
public  of  her  business  in  the  terms  following : 

"  ASTROLOGY. — Madame  LEANDER  LENT  can  be  consulted  about 
love,  marriage,  and  absent  friends ;  she  tells  all  the  events  of  life 
at  No.  169  Mulberry-st.,  first  floor,  back  room.  Ladies  25 
cents ;  gents  50  cents.  She  causes  speedy  marriage.  Charge 
extra." 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  249 

Her  customers  are  much  more  addicted  to  love 
than  marriage,  so  that  the  wedlock  clause  cannot 
be  relied  on  to  bring  many  fish  to  the  net,  but  it  is 
supposed  to  give  an  air  of  respectability  to  the  ad- 
vertisement. 

The  Cash  Customer  was,  perhaps,  an  exception  to 
this  general  rule,  and  feeling  that  he  would  on  the 
whole  rather  like  a  "  speedy  marriage,"  and  wouldn't 
so  much  mind  the  "  extra  charge,"  he  went,  in  cold 
blood,  with  this  matrimonial  intent  to  the  street,  found 
the  number,  and  heroically  entered  the  house  in  the 
very  face  of  a  threatened  unclean  baptism  from  the 
upper  windows. 

His  timid  knock  at  the  door  of  the  room  was 
answered  by  a  sturdy  "Come  in,"  from  the  inside; 
hat  defe  entially  in  hand  he  modestly  entered,  and 
was  received  by  a  fat  woman  with  a  bust  of  propor- 
tions exceeding  those  of  Mrs.  Merdle  in  "Little 
Dorrit,"  and  who  was  attired  in  a  dress  which  may 
have  b^n  clean  in  the  earlier  years  of  its  history, 

though  the  supposition  is  exceedingly  apocryphal. 

11* 


250          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

This  lady  pointed  to  a  chair,  and  then  composedly 
seated  herself  and  resumed  her  explorations  with  a 
comb,  in  the  hair  of  a  vicious  boy  of  about  three 
years  old,  the  eldest  scion  of  Madame  Leander. 

Her  enthusiasm  in  the  cause  of  entomological 
science  was  too  ardent  to  be  quenched  by  the  mere 
presence  of  an  observer,  and  she  continued  to  hunt 
her  insect  prey  with  all  the  ardor  of  a  she-Nimrod, 
and  with  a  zeal  that  was  rewarded  by  a  brilliant  suc- 
cess. The  youth,  over  whose  fertile  head  the  game 
seemed  to  rove  and  range  in  countless  numbers,  was 
somewhat  restless  under  the  operation,  and  oftentimes 
disturbed  the  eager  sportswoman  by  manifesting  a 
desire  to  run  into  the  street  and  carry  the  hunting- 
ground  with  him,  and  was  as  often  recalled  to  a  sense 
of  the  proprieties  by  a  few  judicious  slaps,  which  he 
stoically  endured  without  a  whimper,  being  evidently 
used  to  it. 

This  feminine  lover  of  the  chase,  this  Diana  of  the 
fiery  scalp,  looked  up  from  her  occupations  long 
enough  to  say  to  her  visitor  that  Madame  Lent  would 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  251 

soon  be  disengaged.  Meantime,  he  made  a  careful 
survey  of  the  premises. 

Two  chairs,  an  old  lounge  with  its  dingy  red  cover 
fastened  on  with  pins,  and  a  trunk  covered  with  an 
old  bit  of  carpet,  were  the  accommodations  for  seat- 
ing visitors.  A  cooking-stove,  and  a  suspicious-look- 
ing wash-bowl  which  stood  in  the  corner  of  the  room, 
without  a  pitcher,  were  probably  for  the  accommoda- 
tion of  the  Madame  and  the  lady  with  the  comb. 
On  the  shabby  lounge  sat  a  stolid-looking  Irish  girl, 
who  was  waiting  her  turn  to  have  her  fortune  told. 
Having  fully  comprehended  the  room  and  everything 
in  it,  the  visitor  turned  his  attention  to  literary  pur- 
suits, and  thoroughly  perused  an  odd  copy  of  a  news- 
paper that  lay  invitingly  on  the  table. 

Visitors  kept  dropping  in,  mostly  servant-appearing 
girls,  though  there  were  three  women  attired  in  silk 
and  laces,  who  would  have  appeared  respectable  had 
their  faces  been  hidden  and  their  conversation  been 
suppressed.  The  lady  with  the  comb  and  the  boy 
presently  departed  to  some  unknown  region,  and 


252  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

soon  returned  with  a  reinforcement  of  chairs  and 
stools.  The  number  of  visitors  increased,  until, 
besides  the  original  stranger,  nine  were  waiting. 
Among  others,  there  came,  in  a  friendly  way,  but 
still  with  a  sharp  eye  to  business,  a  tall  woman, 
attired  in  a  red  dress  and  a  purple  bonnet,  who  is  the 
keeper  of  a  well-known  house  in  Sullivan  street,  and 
whose  name  is  not  strange  to  the  police.  An  unre- 
strained business  conversation  ensued  between  her 
and  the  heroine  of  the  comb,  which  must  have  been 
interesting  to  the  female  listeners. 

One  hour  and  eleven  minutes  did  the  Cash  Cus- 
tomer patiently  wait  before  he  was  admitted  to  the 
mysterious  conference  with  the  queen  of  magic.  At 
last,  after  the  man  who  was  at  first  closeted  with  her 
had  concluded  his  inquiries,  and  the  stolid  Irish  girl 
had  been  disposed  of,  the  woman  with  the  suggestive 
bust  beckoned  the  long-suffering  and  patient  man  to 
follow,  and  he  fearfully  entered  the  sanctum. 

The  room  of  conjuration  was  a  closet,  dark  and 
dirty,  and  was  lighted  by  one  tallow  candle,  stuck  in 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  253 

a  Scotch  ale  bottle.  A  number  of  shabby  dresses, 
bony  petticoats,  and  other  mysterious  articles  of 
women's  gear,  hung  upon  the  walls;  two  weak- 
kneed  chairs,  a  tattered  bit  of  carpet  upon  about  two 
feet  square  of  the  floor,  and  a  little  table  covered  with 
a  greasy  oilcloth,  composed  the  furniture  of  the 
mystic  cell.  The  cabalistic  paraphernalia  was  limit- 
ed, there  being  nothing  but  a  dirty  pack  of  double- 
headed  cards,  a  small  pasteboard  box  with  some 
scraps  of  paper  in  it,  and  two  kinds  of  powder  in 
little  bottles,  like  hair-oil  pots. 

Madame  Lent  is  a  woman  of  medium  height,  about 
thirty -five  years  of  age,  with  light-grey  eyes,  false 
teeth,  a  head  nearly  bald,  and  hair,  what  there  is  of 
it,  of  a  bright  red.  Her  manner  is  hurried  and  con- 
fused, and  she  has  a  trick  of  drawing  her  upper  lip 
disagreeably  up  under  the  end  of  her  nose,  which 
labial  distortion  she  doubtless  intends  for  a  smile. 

She  was  robed  in  a  bright-colored  plaid  dress,  a 
dirty  lace  collar,  and  a  coarse  woollen  shawl  over  her 
shoulders.  Motioning  her  visitor  to  one  chair,  she 


254          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

instantly  seated  herself  in  the  other,  and,  without 
demanding  pay  in  advance,  commenced  operations. 
She  handed  the  cards  to  be  cut,  and  then  laying  them 
out  in  their  piles,  uttered  the  following  sentences  : 

"I  see  that  your  fortune  has  been  and  is  quite  a 
curious  one.  Your  cards  run  rather  mixed  up,  you 
have  been  very  much  worried  in  your  head,  you  were 
born  under  two  planets,  which  means  that  you  have 
seen  a  great  deal  of  trouble  in  your  younger  days, 
but  you  are  now  getting  over  it  and  your  cards  run 
to  better  luck,  but  it  is  rather  mixed  up,  your  cards 
run  to  a  lady,  she  is  light-haired  and  blue-eyed,  but 
she  is  jealous  of  you,  for  sometimes  you  treat  her 
more  kinder  and  sometimes  more  harsher,  and  just 
now  she  is  in  trouble  and  very  much  mixed  up  about 
you.  There  is  a  man  of  black  hair  and  eyes,  a  dark- 
complected  man  who  pretends  to  be  your  friend  and 
is  very  fair  to  your  face,  but  you  must  beware  of  him, 
for  he  is  your  secret  enemy  and  will  do  you  an  injury 
if  he  can ;  he  is  trying  to  get  the  lady,  but  I  don't 
think  he'll  do  it,  though  I  don't  know,  for  the  thing 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  255 

is  so  much  mixed  up — he  has  deceived  you,  and  the 
lady  has  deceived  you,  they  have  both  deceived  you, 
but  now  they  have  got  mixed  up,  and  she  turns  from 
him  with  scorn,  and  seems  to  like  you  the  best — I 
don't  exactly  see  how  it  all  is,  for  it  seems  rather 
mixed  up  like — you  must  persevere,  you  must  coax 
her  more ;  you  can  coax  her  to  do  anything,  but  you 
can't  drive  her  any  more  than  you  can  drive  that  wall 
— always  treat  her  more  kinder  and  never  more 
harsher,  and  she  will  soon  be  yours  entirely — beware  / 
of  the  dark-complected  man ;  you  must  not  talk  so 
much  and  be  so  open  in  your  mind,  and  above  all 
don't  talk  so  much  to  the  dark-complected  man,  for 
he  seems  to  worry  you,  and  your  affairs  and  his  are 
all  mixed  up  like." 

Here  her  auditor  expressed  a  desire  to  know  some- 
thing definite  and  certain  about  his  future  wife, 
whereupon  the  red-haired  prophetess  shuffled  the 
cards  again  with  the  following  result : 

"  You  will  have  but  one  more  wife.  She  will  be 
good  and  true,  and  will  not  be  mixed  up  with  any 


256          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

dark-complected  man.  She  will  be  rich  and  you  will 
be  rich,  for  your  business  cards  run  very  smooth,  but 
your  marriage  cards  do  not  run  very  close  to  you, 
and  you  will  not  be  married  for  six  or  eight  months ; 
you  will  have  three  children ;  you  will  see  your  future 
wife  within  nine  hours,  nine  days,  or  nine  weeks ;  do 
not  blame  me  if  it  runs  into  the  tens,  but  I  tell  you 
it  will  fall  within  the  nines.  Another  man  is  trying 
to  get  her  away  from  you,  he  is  a  light- complected 
man,  he  has  had  some  influence  over  her,  but  she 
now  turns  from  him  with  disdain,  and  she  will  be 
yours  and  yours  only — things  are  a  little  worried  and 
mixed  up  now,  but  she  will  be  yours  and  yours  only, 
the  light-complected  man  can't  hurt  you.  I  have 
something  that  I  can  give  you  that  will  make  her 
love  you  tender  and  true ;  it  will  force  her  to  do  it 
and  she  won't  have  no  power  to  help  herself,  but  you 
can  do  with  her  just  what  you  please ;  I  charge  extra 
for  that." 

Here  was  a  chance  to  procure  a  love-philtre  at  a 
reasonable  rate,  and  unless  the  dark  woman  kept  that 


Madame   Leander  Lent.  257 

article  ready  made  and  done  up  in  packages  to  suit 
customers,  he  could  observe  the  terrible  ceremonies 
with  which  it  was  .prepared,  listen  to  the  spells  and 
incantations  with  an  attent  eye,  and  take  mental  notes 
of  all  the  mighty  magic.  The  opportunity  was  too 
good  to  be  lost,  and  he  at  once  signified  his  desire  to 
try  a  little  of  the  extra  witchcraft,  and  his  willingness 
to  draw  on  his  purse  for  the  requisite  amount  of 
ready  cash  to  purchase  this  gratification  of  a  laudable 
curiosity. 

Madame  Lent  now  assumed  an  air  of  the  most 
intense  gravity,  and  shook  into  a  very  dirty  bit  of 
paper  a  little  white  powder  from  one  of  the  pomatum 
pots,  and  a  corresponding  quantity  of  grayish  powder 
from  pot  No.  2,  and  stirred  them  carefully  together 
with  the  tip  of  her  finger.  When  she  had  mixed 
them  to  her  liking  she  folded  the  diabolical  com- 
pound in  a  small  paper.  Then  she  prepared  another 
mixture  in  the  same  manner,  and  made  a  pretence  of 
adding  another  ingredient  from  a  little  pasteboard 
box,  Vhich  probably  hadn't  had  anything  in  it  for  a 


258         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

month.  Folding  this  also  in  a  paper  she  presented 
them  both  to  her  interested  guest,  with  these  direc- 
tions :  . 

"  You  must  shake  some  of  the  first  powder  on  your 
true-love's  head,  or  neck,  or  arms,  if  you  can,  but  if 
you  can't  manage  this,  put  it  on  her  dress — the  other 
powder  you  must  sprinkle  about  your  room  when 
you  go  to  bed  to-night — this  will  draw  her  to  you,  and 
she  will  love  you  and  you  alone  and  can't  help  herself; 
this  will  surely  operate,  if  it  don't,  come  and  tell  me." 

One  more  cabalistic  performance  and  the  hocus- 
pocus  was  ended.  She  desired  her  customer  to  give 
her  the  first  letter  of  his  true  love's  name.  He,  un- 
abashed by  the  unexpected  demand,  with  great  pre- 
sence of  mind  promptly  invented  a  sweetheart  on  the 
spot,  and  extemporized  a  name  for  her  before  the 
question  was  repeated.  Then  the  mysterious  Madame 
required  his  own  initial,  which,  being  obtained,  she 
wrote  the  two  on  slips  of  paper  with  some  mystic 
figures  appended,  in  manner  following.  E.,  17 ;  M., 
24.  Then  she  shiveringly  whispered :  ** 


Madame  Leander  Lent.  259 

"You  must  do  as  I  told  you  with  the  powders 
before  eleven  o'clock  to-night,  for  between  the  hours 
of  eleven  and  twelve  I  shall  boil  your  name  and  hers 
in  herbs  which  will  draw  her  to  you,  and  she  can't 
help  herself  but  will  be  tender  and  true,  and  will  be 
yours  and  yours  only.  When  she  is  drawed  to  you 
then  you  must  marry  her." 

The  anxious  inquirer  promised  obedience,  and 
agreed  to  give  the  powders  as  per  prescription,  before 
the  midnight  cookery  should  commence,  paid  his  dol- 
lar (fifty  cents  for  the  consultation  and  a  like  sum  for 
the  love-powders),  and  made  his  exit  with  a  compre- 
hensive bow,  which  included  the  Madame,  the  bony 
petticoats,  the  beer-bottle,  and  the  fast-vanishing  re- 
mains of  the  single  tallow-candle  in  one  reverential 
farewell. 


CHAPTER     XII 


Wherein  are  inscribed  all   the  particulars  of  a '  visit  to  the 

"  Gipsy  Girl,"  of  No.  207,   Third  Avenue, 

with  an  allusion  to  Gin,  and  other  luxuries 

dear  to  the  heart  of  that  beautiful 

Rover. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

THE    GIPSY    GIRL. 

THERE  is  much,  less  affectation  of  high-flown  and 
lofty-sounding  names  among  the  ladies  of  the  black- 
art  mysteries,  than  might  very  naturally  be  expected. 
Most  of  them  are  content  with  plain  "Madame" 
Smith,  or  unadorned  "  Mrs."  Jones,  and  "  The  Gipsy 
Girl "  is  almost  the  only  exception  to  this  rule  that  is 
to  be  encountered  among  all  the  fortune-tellers  of  the 
city. 

This  arises  from  no  poverty  of  invention  on  their 
part,  but  from  a  sound  conviction  that  in  this  case, 
simplicity  is  an  element  of  sound  policy.  There  has 
been  no  lack  of  "mysteriously  gifted  prophetesses," 
and  of  "  astonishing  star  readers ;"  there  have  been,  I 
believe,  within  the  last  few  years,  a  "Daughter  of 


264         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

Saturn,"  and  a  "  Sorceress  of  the  Silver  Girdle ;"  and 
once  the  "  Queen  of  the  Seven  Mysteries "  conde- 
scended to  sojourn  in  Gotham  for  five  weeks,  but  on 
the  whole  it  has  been  found  that  a  more  modest  title 
pays  better.  To  be  sure,  the  "  Daughter  of  Saturn  " 
was  tried  for  conspiring  with  two  other  persons  to 
swindle  an  old  and  wealthy  gentleman  out  of  seven- 
teen hundred  dollars,  and  the  "  Queen  of  the  Seven 
Mysteries  "  was  dispossessed  by  a  constable  for  non- 
payment of  rent ;  and  these  untoward  circumstances 
may  have  acted  as  a  "modest  quencher  "  on  the  then 
growing  disposition  to  indulge  in  fantastic  and  roman- 
tic appellations. 

At  this  present  time  "  The  Gipsy  Girl "  enjoys 
almost  a  monopoly  of  this  sort  of  thing,  and  she  is  by 
no  means  constant  to  one  name,  but  sometimes 
announces  herself  as  "  The  Gipsy  "Woman,"  "  The 
Gipsj  Palmist,"  and  "The  Gipsy  Wonder,"  as  her 
whim  changes. 

This  woman  has  not  been  in  New  York  years 
enough  to  become  complicated  in  as  many  rascalities 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  265 

as  some  of  her  elder  sisters  in  the  mystic  arts,  but  her 
surroundings  are  of  a  nature  to  indicate  that  she  has 
not  been  backward  in  her  American  education  on  these 
points.  She  has  not  been  remarkably  successful  in 
making  money,  as  a  witch ;  not  having  been  educated 
among  the  strumpets  and  gamblers  of  the  city  she 
lacked  that  extensive  acquaintance  on  going  into  busi- 
ness, that  had  secured  for  her  rivals  in  trade  such 
immediate  success.  Her  fondness  for  gin  has  also 
proved  a  serious  bar  to  her  rapid  advancement,  and 
has  given  not  a  few  of  her  customers  the  idea  that  she 
is  not  so  eminently  trustworthy  as  one  having  the 
control  of  the  destinies  of  others  should  be.  In  fact, 
she  loves  her  enemy,  the  bottle,  to  that  extent,  that 
she  has  many  times  permitted  her  devotion  to  it  to 
interfere  seriously  with  her  business,  leading  her  to 
disappoint  customers.  The  quality  of  her  sober  pre- 
dictions is  about  the  same  as  that  of  others  in  the 
same  profession,  but  her  intoxicated  foretellings  are 
deserving  of  a  chapter  to  themselves,  and  they  shall 

have  it,  for  from  force  of  peculiar  circumstances,  which 

12 


266          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

will  be  explained  Hereafter,  the  Cash  Customer  made 
three  visits  to  this  celebrated  woman.  Her  first 
address  was  207  3d  Avenue,  between  Eighteenth  and 
Nineteenth  Streets. 

The  Gipsy  Girl !  How  romantically  suggestive  was 
this  feminine  phrase  to  the  fancy  of  an  enthusiastic  re- 
porter. Was  it  then,  indeed,  permitted  that  he  should 
know  Meg  Merrilees  in  private  life  ?  His  heart  danced 
at  the  poetic  possibility,  and  his  heels  would  have  ex- 
temporized a  vigorous  hornpipe  but  that  his  saltatory 
ardor  was  quenched  by  the  depressing  sturdiness  of 
cow-hide  boots.  "With  the  most  pleasing  anticipations 
he  perused  the  subjoined  advertisement  again  and 
again,  and  looked  to  the  happy  future  with  a  joyful  hope. 

"  A  Wonder— The  Gipsy  Girl.— If  you  wish  to  know  all  the 
secrets  of  your  past  and  future  life,  the  knowledge  of  which 
may  save  you  years  of  sorrow  and  care,  don't  fail  to  consult  the 
above-named  palmist.  Charge  50  cents.  The  Gipsy  has  also 
on  hand  a  secret  which  will  enable  any  lady  or  gentleman  to 
win  or  obtain  the  affections  of  the  opposite  sex.  Charge  extra. 
No.  207  3d  av.,  between  18th  and  19th  sts." 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  267 

How  the  knowledge  of  all  the  secrets  of  his  past 
life  was  to  save  him  years  of  sorrow  and  care  at  this 
late  day  he  could  not  exactly  comprehend,  and  was 
willing  to  pay  fifty  cents  for  the  information.  And 
then  wasn't  it  worth  half  a  dollar  to  see  a  live  gipsy  ? 
Of  course  it  was. 

Kettles,  camp-fires,  white  tents  under  green  trees, 
indigenous  brown  babies  and  exotic  white  ones,  with 
a  panorama  of  empty  cradles  and  mourning  mothers 
in  the  distance,  moonlight  nights,  midnight  foraging 
excursions,  expeditions  against  impertinent  game- 
keepers, demonstrations  against  hen-roosts — successful 
by  masterly  generalship  and  pure  strategic  science — 
and  the  midnight  forest  cookery  of  contraband  game, 
surreptitious  pigs  and  clandestine  chickens — were 
among  the  romantic  ideas  of  a  delightful  vagabond 
gipsy  life  that  at  once  suggested  themselves  to  the 
mind  of  the  Cash  Customer.  He  did  not  really  expect 
to  find  the  Third- Avenue  gipsy  camped  out  under  a 
bed-quilt  tent  in  the  lee  of  the  house,  or  cooking  her 
dinner  in  an  iron  pot  over  an  out-door  fire  in  the 


268  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

back  yard,  but  lie  had  a  vague  undefined  hope  that 
there  would  be  some  visible  indications  of  gipsy  life, 
if  it  was  nothing  more  than  the  pawn-tickets  for 
stolen  spoons. 

He  thought  to  find  at  least  one  or  two  beautiful 
babies  knocking  about,  decorated  with  coral  neck- 
laces and  golden  clasps,  suggestive  of  rich  parents 
and  better  days,  and  had  firmly  resolved  to  send  the 
little  innocents  to  the  alms-house  by  way  of  improv- 
ing their  condition.  Full  of  these  romantic  notions, 
the  reporter  started  on  his  philanthropic  mission, 
taking  the  preliminary  precaution  of  leaving  at  home 
his  watch  and  pocket-book,  and  carrying  with  him 
only  small  change  enough  to  pay  the  advertised 
charges. 

In  one  of  those  three-story  brick  houses  so  abound- 
ing in  this  city,  which  seem  to  have  been  built  by  the 
mile  and  cut  off  in  slices  to  suit  purchasers,  in  the 
Third  Avenue  above  Eighteenth  Street,  dwelt  at  that 
time  the  gay  Bohemian.  The  building  in  which  she 
lived,  though  three  stories  in  height,  is  very  short 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  269 

between  joints,  which  style  of  architecture  makes  all 
the  rooms  low  and  squat,  as  if  somebody  had  shut  the 
house  into  itself  like  a  telescope,  and  had  never  pulled 
it  out  again. 

Out  of  the  chimney,  which  was  the  little  end  of  the 
telescope,  issued  a  sickly  smoke ;  and  through  a  door 
in  the  lower  story,  which  was  the  big  end  thereof, 
was  the  stranger  admitted  by  a  little  girl.  This  girl 
was,  probably,  a  pure  article  of  gipsy  herself  origin- 
ally, but  had  been  so  much  adulterated  by  partial 
civilization  that  she  combed  her  hair  daily  and  sub- 
mitted to  shoes  and  stockings  without  a  murmur. 
Kagged  indeed  was  this  reclaimed  wanderer ;  saucy 
and  dirty-faced  was  this  sprouting  young  maiden,  but 
she  was  sharp-witted,  and  scented  money  as  quickly 
as  if  she  had  been  the  oldest  hag  of  her  tribe ;  so  she 
asked  her  customer  to  walk  up  stairs,  which  he  did. 
She  herself  went  up  stairs  with  a  skip  and  a  whirl, 
showed  her  visitor  into  the  grand  reception  room 
with  a  gyrating  flourish,  and  disappeared  in  a  "  cour- 
tesy" of  so  many  complex  and  dizzy  rotations  that 


270         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

she  seemed  to  the  eyes  of  the  bewildered  traveller  to 
evaporate  in  a  red  flannel  mist.  As  soon  as  she  had 
spun  herself  out  of  sight  he  recovered  his  presence  of 
mind  and  looked  about  him. 

The  romantic  gipsy  who  sojourned  here  had  tried 
to  furnish  her  rooms  like  civilized  people,  doubtless 
out  of  respect  to  her  many  patrons.  A  thread-bare 
carpet  was  under  foot;  a  little  parlor  stove  with  a 
little  fire  in  it  was  standing  on  a  little  piece  of  zinc, 
and  did  its  little  utmost  to  heat  the  room ;  an  uncom- 
fortable looking  sofa  covered  with  shabby  and  faded 
red  damask  graced  one  side  of  the  apartment,  and  a 
lounge,  of  curtailed  dimensions,  partially  covered 
with  shreds  of  turkey  red  calico,  adorned  another 
side. 

This  latter  article  of  furniture,  with  its  tattered 
cover,  through  which  suspicious  bits  of  curled  hair 
peeped  out,  and  wide  crevices  in  its  rickety  frame 
were  plainly  visible,  looked  much  too  suggestive  of 
cockroaches  and  other  insect  delicacies  of  the  season 
to  be  an  inviting  place  of  repose. 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  271 

Three  chairs  were  dispersed  throughout  the  room, 
on  one  of  which  the  reporter  bestowed  himself,  and 
the  rest  of  the  furniture  consisted  of  a  table,  so 
exceedingly  shaky  and  sensitive  in  the  joints  that 
it  might  have  been  the  grim  skeleton  of  some  former 
table,  loosely  hung  together  with  unseen  wires ;  and 
a  cheap  looking-glass  that  had  suffered  so  serious  a 
comminuted  fracture  as  to  be  past  all  surgery — this 
was  all  except  some  little  plaster  images  of  saints, 
strangers  to  the  Cash  Customer,  and  a  black  rosary, 
which  article  would  seem  to  show  that  efforts  had 
been  put  forth  to  Christianize  this  nut-brown  gipsy 
maid. 

A  clinking  of  glasses  was  heard  in  the  adjoining 
apartment,  then  the  door  was  opened  with  an  inde- 
pendent flirt,  and  the  gay  Bohemian  appeared  on  the 
scene. 

If  it  were  desired  to  fancy  visions  of  enchanting 
loveliness  it  would  be  necessary  to  insert  therein  other 
ingredients  than  the  gipsy  girl  of  the  Third  Avenue ; 
alone  she  would  be  insufficient ;  too  much  would  be 


272          The   Witches  of  New  York. 

left  to  tne  imagination ;  and  in  any  event  the  illusion 
would  be  too  great  to  last  long. 

She  is  of  medium  height,  her  eyes  are  brown  and 
bright,  and  her  hands  are  very  large  and  red.  She 
has  no  hair,  but  wears  a  scratch  red  wig,  which  gives 
her  head  a  utilitarian  character.  Her  face  is  deeply 
pitted  with  the  small-pox,  more  than  pitted — gullied, 
scarred,  and  seamed,  as  though  some  jealous  rival 
had  been  trying  to  plough  her  complexion  under; 
little  short  light  hairs  are  thinly  scattered  on  her 
cheek  bones  and  upper  lip,  and  in  the  shadows  of 
the  little  ridges  that  disease  had  left,  irresistibly  com- 
pelling the  mind  to  make  an  absurd  comparison  of 
her  face  with  a  sterile  field,  and  imagine  that  at  some 
past  day  it  had  been  spaded  up  to  plant  a  beard, 
which  had  only  grown  in  scanty  patches,  here  and 
there.  Her  nails  were  horny  and  ill-shaped,  and 
underneath  them  and  at  their  roots  were  large  de- 
posits of  dirt  and  other  fertilizing  compounds,  under 
the  stimulating  influence  of  which  they  had  grown 
lank  and  long.  Her  attire  was  a  sort  of  cross  between 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  273 

the  picturesque  wildness  of  the  gipsy,  and  the  more 
civilized  and  unbecoming  dress  of  Third  Avenue 
Christians. 

She  was  apparelled,  principally,  in  a  red  flannel 
jacket,  and  a  check  handkerchief,  which  was  passed 
under  her  chin  and  tied  on  the  top  of  her  wig,  where 
the  knot  looked  like  a  blue  butterfly.  There  was  a 
gown,  but  a  series  of  subsoiling  experiments  would 
have  been  necessary  to  determine  the  material  and 
texture ;  the  surface  was  palpably  dirt.  Accompany- 
ing her  there  was  a  strong  smeUiof  gin,  and  from  the 
odor  of  the  liquor  the  visitor  judged  that  it  was  a 
very  poor  article. 

This  gay  old  gipsy  drew  a  chair  to  the  table,  and 
sat  down,  not  in  a  graceful  and  composed  manner, 
but  more  as  if  she  had  been  dumped  from  a  cart. 
She  soon  partially  recovered  herself,  and  straightened 
up  slightly  from  the  heap  into  which  she  had  col- 
lapsed, and,  turning  her  head  away  from  her  customer, 
she  elaborately  remarked :  "  Fifty  cents  and  your  left 
'and." 


274  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

The  Individual  made  a  careful  search  for  his  small 
change,  and  fished  out  the  exact  amount  which  he 
promptly  paid  over. 

This  delightful  gipsy  then  took  his  left  hand  and 
looked  at  it  for  a  minute  in  an  imbecile  kind  of  way, 
as  if  she  didn't  know  exactly  what  to  do  with  it,  and 
was  undecided  whether  it  was  to  be  made  into  soup, 
or  she  was  to  drink  it  immediately  with  warm  water 
and  a  little  sugar.  This  last  impression  evidently 
prevailed,  for  she  tried  to  pour  it  into  her  apron,  and 
only  recovered  fron*her  delusion  when  the  fingers 
tangled  themselves  up  in  the  strings.  Then  a  glim- 
mering of  the  true  state  of  the  case  seemed  to  dawn 
upon  her,  and  she  began  to  have  a  dim  idea  that  she 
was  expected  to  say  something. 

Now  the  roving  gipsy  was  not  by  any  means  in- 
toxicated at  this  time ;  that  is  to  say,  she  may  have 
been  partaking  of  gin,  or  gin  and  water,  or  may  have 
been  sucking  su'gar  that  had  gin  on  it,  or  she  may 
have  been  taking  a  little  gin  and  peppermint  for  a 
stomach-ache,  or  she  may  have  been  bathing  her 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  275 

head  in  gin,  or  have  been  otherwise  making  use 
of  that  potent  remedy  as  a  medicine,  but  she  was  by 
no  means  a  subject  for  official  interference  in  case  she 
had  wandered  into  the  street,  but  she  was,  to  tell  the 
truth,  not  in  her  most  clear-headed  condition ;  although 
probably  she  did  not  see  more  than  one  Cash  Customer 
sitting  solemnly  before  her,  still  that  one  was  quite  as 
many  as  she  could  well  manage  at  that  time. 

After  the  signal  failure  of  her  little  demonstration 
on  the  hand  of  her  guest,  she,  by  a  strong  effort, 
seemed  to  concentrate  her  faculties,  and  after  several 
trials  she  roused  herself  and  spoke  as  follows,  empha- 
sizing the  short  words  with  spiteful  vindictiveness, 
and  paying  the  most  particular  attention  to  the  im- 
proper aspiration  of  the  h's. 

"  You  are  a  person  as  has  seen  a  great  deal  ofdif — " 
The  gay  Bohemian  here  evidently  desired  to  say 
"  difficulty,"  but  the  word  was  a  sad  stumbling-block, 
a  four-syllable  rock  ahead  which  was  too  much  for 
her  powers  in  her  then  exhausted  state  of  mind ;  she 
charged  on  the  unfortunate  word  boldly,  however, 


276          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

and  tried  to  carry  it  by  storm,  but  each  time  was 
repulsed  with  great  loss  of  breath — "  a  great  deal  of 
dif— dif — dif — diffle" — it  was  no  use,  so  she  tried  back 
and  began  again. 

"You  are  a  man  as  has  seen  a  great  deal  of  difflecu- 
lency"  was  what  she  said,  but  it  didn't  seem  to  satisfy 
her,  so  she  tried  again,  and  after  a  number  of  trials  she 
hit  a  happy  medium  between  "dif"  and  " diffleculency" 
and  compromised  on  "  difflety"  which  useful  addition 
to  the  language  she  took  occasion  to  repeat  as  often  as 
possible  with  an  air  of  decided  triumph. 

"  You  are  a  man  as  has  seen  a  great  deal  of  difflety 
and  trouble — I  would  not  go  to  say  you  'ave  been 
through  too  much  difflety  and  trouble,  still  you  'ave 
seen  difflety  and  trouble.  If  you  had  been  a  luckier 
man  in  your  past  life  you  would  not  'ave  seen  so  much 
difflety  and  trouble,  still  you  ''ave  seen  difflety  and 
trouble — I  'ope  you  will  not  see  so  much  difflety  and 
trouble  in  the  future — Life  :  you  will  live  long ;  you 
will  live  to  be  69  years  of  hage  and  ivill  die  of  a  linger- 
ing disease — you  will  be  sick  for  a  long  time,  and  will 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  277 

not  suffer  much  difflety  and  trouble — sixty-nine  years 
of  Jiage  you  will  live  to  be — Death :  don't  think  of 
death ;  that  is  too  far  hoff  a  you  to  think  of— but  you 
will  die  when  you  are  69  years  of  hage,  and  you  may 
'ope  to  go  right  hup  to  'eaven,  for  you  will  'ave  no 
more  difflety  and  trouble  then — Money :  you  will  'ave 
money,  and  you  will  'ave  plenty  of  money,  but  you 
must  not  look  for  money  until  you  'ave  reached  your 
middle  hage — a  distant  Hinglish  relative  of  yours  will 
leave  you  money,  but  you  will  'ave  difflety  and  trouble 
in  getting  it ;  do  not  hexpect  to  get  this  money  without 
difflety,  no  do  not  cherish  such  a  'ope — hit  will  be  in  the 
7ands  of  a  man  who  wont  hanswer  your  letters  nor  take 
notice  of  your  happlications,  you  will  'ave  to  cross  the 
hocean  yourself;  this  money  will  be  a  good  deal  of 
money  and  will  make  you  'appy  for  the  rest  of  your 
days — Business :  you  will  thrive  in  business,  you  will 
never  be  hunfortunate  in  business,  you  will  'ave  luck 
in  business,  you  will  always  do  a  good  business,  may 
hexpect  to  make  money  by  large  speculations  in  busi- 
ness; difflety  and  trouble  in  business  you  will  not 


278         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

know — Great  Troubles :  you  need  not  hexpect  to  'ave 
many  great  troubles  for  you  will  not ;  you  'ave  'ad 
your  great  troubles  in  your  nearly  days — Sickness: 
you  will  never  see  no  sickness,  'ave  no  fear  of  sickness 
for  you  will  not  see  none ;  sickness,  do  not  care  for  it 
and  make  your  mind  heasy — Friends :  you  'ave  got 
many  friends,  both  'ere  and  helsewhere,  your  friends 
will  be  'appy  and  you  will  be  'appy,  there  will  be  no 
difflety  and  trouble  between  you,  you  'ave  'ad  trouble 
with  your  friends,  but  you  face  brighter  days,  be 
'appy — Wives :  you  will  'ave  but  one  wife ;  in  the 
third  month  from  now  you  will  'ear  from  'er,  you  will 
get  a  letter  from  'er,  and  in  the  fourth  month  you  will 
be  married — she  is  not  particularly  'andsome,  nor  she 
is  not  specially  hugly,  she  'as  got  blue  heyes  and 
brown  'air,  is  partickler  fond  of  'ome  and  is  now 
heighteen  years  of  hage — 'Appiness :  you  will  be  the 
'appiest  people  in  all  the  land,  you  can't  himagine  the 
'appiness  you  will  'ave — Children:  you  will  'ave  three 
children,  after  you  are  married  you  will  see  no  more 
difflety  and  trouble;  you  will  die  in  a  foreign  land 


The  Gipsy  Girl.  279 

across  the  hocean  but  you  will  die  'appy.  'Ope  for 
'appiness  and  'ave  no  huneasiness." 

Thus  prophesied  the  gay  Bohemian,  the  nut-brown 
maid,  the  dark-eyed  oracle,  the  wise  charmer,  the 
female  seer,  the  beautiful  sibyl,  the  lovely  enchantress, 
the  romantic  "gipsy  girl"  of  the  Third  Avenue. 

Komance  and  poesy  were  effectually  demolished  by 
the  overpowering  realities  of  dirt,  vulgarity,  cockney- 
ism,  ignorance,  scratch-wigs,  bad  English,  and  bad  gin. 
Sadly  the  Individual  walked  down  stairs  behind  the 
gyrating  girl,  who  reappeared  with  an  agile  pirouette, 
twirled  down  on  her  toes,  and  opened  the  door  with  a 
dizzy  revolution  that  made  her  look  as  if  her  head  and 
shoulders  had  got  into  a  whirlpool  of  petticoats,  and 
were  past  all  hope  of  mortal  rescue.  The  little  chink, 
as  of  a  bottle  and  glass,  came  faintly  from  the  apart- 
ment which  is  the  home  of  the  gipsy,  and  the  indivi- 
dual fancied  that  the  gay  Bohemian  had  returned  to 
her  devotions. 


CHAPTER    XIII. 


Contains  a  true  account  of  the  Magic  Establishment  of  Mrs, 

Fleury,  of  No.  263  Broome  Street,  and  also  shows 

the  exact  quantity  of  Witchcraft  that  snuffy 

personage  can  afford  for  one 

Dollar. 


CHAPTER    XIII. 

MADAME  FLEURY,  No.  263  BROOME  STREET. 

FROM  what  the  reader  has  already  perused  of  the  pre- 
dictions and  prophecies  of  these  modern  dealers  in 
magic,  he  will  hardly  think  them  of  a  character  to 
inspire  any  great  degree  of  confidence  in  the  minds  of 
people  of  ordinary  common  sense.  Still  less  will  he 
be  disposed  to  believe  that  merchants  of  "  credit  and 
renown;"  business  men,  engaged  in  occupations,  the 
operations  of  which  are  presumed  to  be  governed  by 
the  nicest  mathematical  calculations,  are  ever  so  far 
influenced  by  the  miserable  jargon  of  these  "fortune- 
tellers," as  to  seriously  consult  them  in  business  mat- 
ters of  great  importance. 

Such,  however,  is  the  humiliating  truth. 

There  are  in  New  York  city  a  number  of  mer- 


284         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

chants,  bankers,  brokers,  and  other  persons  eminent 
in  the  business  world,  and  respectable  in  all  social 
relations,  who  never  make  an  important  business 
move  in  any  direction,  until  after  consultation  with 
one  or  another  of  the  Witches  of  New  York. 

There  are  many  who  are  regular  periodical  cus- 
tomers, and  who  visit  the  shrine  of  the  oracle  once  a 
month,  or  once  in  six  weeks,  as  regularly  as  they 
make  out  their  balance-sheets,  or  take  an  account  of 
stock,  and  who  guide  their  future  investments  and 
business  ventures  as  much  by  the  written  fifty-cent 
prophecy  as  by  either  of  the  other  documents. 

Many  country  merchants  have  also  learned  this 
trick,  and  some  of  them  are  in  constant  correspon- 
dence with  the  cheap  sybils  of  Grand  Street ;  and 
others,  when  they  come  to  the  city  for  their  stock  of 
goods  for  the  next  half  year,  visit  their  chosen  fortune- 
teller and  get  full  and  explicit  directions  how  to  con- 
duct their  business  for  the  coming  six  months.  Of 
course,  these  proceedings  are  conducted  with  the  great- 
est possible  secrecy,  and  the  attention  of  the  writer 


Madame  Fleury.  285 

was  first  awakened  to  this  fact  by  the  indiscreet  boast- 
ings of  certain  ones  of  the  witches  themselves,  who 
are  not  a  little  proud  of  their  influence,  and  after 
observations  afforded  ample  proof  and  corroboration 
of  all  he  had  been  told. 

.  Great  money  enterprises  have  without  doubt  been 
seriously  affected  by  the  yea  or  nay  of  the  Bible  and 
key,  and  perhaps  the  Atlantic  Cable  Company  would 
have  received  more  hearty  assistance,  and  its  stock 
more  extensive  subscriptions  in  Wall  Street,  if  certain 
ones  of  the  fortune-tellers  had  possessed  more  faith  in 
its  success,  and  had  so  advised  their  patrons. 

Incredible  as  these  statements  may  seem,  they  are 
nevertheless  true,  and  this  fact  is  another  proof  that 
gross  superstition  is  not  confined  to  the  low  and  filthy 
parts  of  the  city,  where  rags  and  dirt  are  the  universal 
rule,  but  that  it  has  likewise  a  thrifty  growth  in  quar- 
ters of  the  town  where  stand  the  palaces  of  the  "  mer- 
chant princes,"  and  in  avenues  where  rags  are 
almost  unknown,  and  broadcloth,  and  gold,  and  fine- 
t  wined  linen  are  the  common  wear. 


286          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

It  is  said  that  certain  counsel  eminent  in  the  learned 
profession  of  the  law,  and  that  certain  even  of  the 
j  udges  of  the  bench,  have  been  known  to  consult  the 
female  practicers  of  the  Black  Art,  but  the  author  has 
never  been  personally  cognizant  of  a  case  of  this  kind, 
and  has  no  means  of  knowing  whether  the  consulta- 
tion was  intended  to  benefit  the  lawyer  or  the  witch ; 
whether  the  former  desired  enlightenment  as  to  the 
management  of  some  knotty  professional  point,  or 
whether  the  latter  wanted  legal  advice  as  to  some  of 
the  side  branches  of  her  business. 

Mrs.  Fkury,  whose  domicile  and  mode  of  procedure 
are  described  in  this  present  chapter,  has  a  large  run 
of  this  sort  of  what  may  be  termed  respectable  custom, 
and  she  does  not  fail  to  profit  by  it  to  the  utmost. 
She  came  to  New  York,  from  France,  about  six  or 
seven  years  ago,  and  at  once  established  herself  in  the 
witch  business,  which  she  could  advertise  extensively 
in  the  papers,  although  the  other  branches  of  her  pro- 
fession, by  which  she  probably  makes  more  money 
than  by  telling  fortunes,  would  by  no  means  bear 


Madame  Fleury.  287 

newspaper  publicity.  What  these  other  branches 
are,  is  more  explicitly  stated  in  other  chapters  of 
this  book,  and,  in  fact,  needs  to  be  but  hinted  at,  to 
be  at  once  understood  by  nearly  all  who  read. 

Madame  Fleury  advertised  the  world  of  her  arrival 
in  America,  and  of  her  supernatural  powers,  and  in  a 
short  time  customers  began  to  flock  in.  It  is  now  her 
boast  that  she  has  as  "respectable  a  connexion"  as 
any  one  in  the  trade,  and  that  she  has  as  great  a 
number  of  "regular,  reliable  customers,"  as  any 
conjuress  in  America.  She  says  that  most  of  her 
"regular  customers"  visit  her  once  in  six  weeks,  six 
being  with  her  a  favorite  number,  and  she  not  under- 
taking to  guarantee  her  business  predictions  for  a 
greater  length  of  time. 

Whether  she  makes  any  discount  from  her  ordinary 
prices  to  these  regular  traders,  she  did  not  state,  but  pro- 
bably witchcraft  is  governed  by  the  same  rule  as  other 
commodities,  and  comes  cheaper  to  wholesale  dealers. 

Duly  armed  and  equipped  with  staff  and  scrip,  and 
duly  fortified  within  by  such  stimulants  as  the  exigen- 


288          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

cies  of  the  case  seemed  to  demand,  the  Cash  Customer 
set  out  for  263  Broome  Street,  and  after  strict  trial  and 
due  examination  of  the  premises  and  the  people,  he 
made  the  following  report. 

It  was  a  favorite  remark  of  a  learned  though  mis- 
taken philosopher  of  the  olden  time,  that  "you  can't 
make  a  whistle  of  a  pig's  tail."  The  philosopher  died, 
but  his  saying  was  accepted  by  the  world  as  an  axiom 
— a  bit  of  incontrovertible  truth,  eternal,  Godlike, 
fully  up  to  par,  worth  a  hundred  per  cent.,  with  no 
possibility  of  discount.  Time,  however,  which  often 
demonstrates  the  fallibility  of  human  wisdom,  has  not 
spared  even  this  oft-quoted  adage ;  and  now  there  is 
not  a  collection  of  curiosities  in  the  land  which  lacks 
a  pig-tail  whistle  to  proclaim  in  the  shrillest  tones  the 
falsity  of  the  wise  man's  proposition,  and  the  triumph 
of  Yankee  ingenuity.  Had  this  same  philosopher 
been  interrogated  on  the  subject,  he  would  undoubt- 
edly have  announced,  and  with  an  equal  show  of 
probability  on  his  side  of  the  argument,  that  "  you 
can't  make  a  star-reading  prophetess  out  of  a  snuffy 


Madame  Fleury.  289 

old  woman ;"  but  had  he  lived  to  the  present  day, 
the  Cash  Customer  would  have  taken  great  pleasure 
in  exhibiting  to  him  these  two  apparently  irreconci- 
lable characters  combined  in  a  single  person,  and  that 
person  Mrs.  Fleury,  who  pays  for  the  daily  insertion 
of  the  following  advertisement  in  the  newspapers. 

"  ASTROLOGY.— MRS.  FLEURY,  from  Paris,  is  the  most  cele- 
brated lady  of  the  present  age,  in  telling  future  events,  true  and 
certain.  She  answers  questions  on  business,  marriage,  absent 
friends,  &c.,  by  magnetism.  Office  No.  263  Broome-st." 

There  is  not  so  much  of  promise  in  this  paragraph, 
as  there  is  in  some  of  the  more  grandiloquent  an- 
nouncements of  the  other  witches — not  probably,  that 
Madame  Fleury  is  any  less  pretentious  than  they,  but 
her  knowledge  of  the  English  language  is  not  perfect 
enough  to  enable  her  to  give  her  ideas  their  full  effect. 

The  Cash  Customer  resolved  to  visit  this  "most 
celebrated  lady  of  the  age,"  who  had  come  all  the 
way  from  Paris,  to  tell  his  "  future  events  true  and 

certain,"  nothing  daunted  by  the  circumstance  that 

13 


;  o  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

she  lives  in  the  filthiest  part  of  Brocftne  Street,  which 
has  never  been  swept  clean  since  it  was  a  very  new 
Broome  indeed. 

If  our  fancy  farmers,  who  expend  so  much  money 
upon  the  various  foreign  manures  and  fertilizing  com- 
pounds, would  but  turn  their  eyes  in  the  direction  of 
Broome  Street,  a  single  glance  would  convince  them 
of  the  inexhaustible  resources  of  their  own  country, 
while  guano  would  instantly  depreciate  in  value,  and 
the  island  of  Ichaboe  not  be  worth  a  quarrel.  This 
prolific  and  valuable  deposit  that  covers  Broome  Street 
bears  perennial  crops  :  in  the  spring  and  summer, 
dirty -faced  children  and  mean-looking  dogs  seem  to 
spring  from  it  spontaneously;  they  are  succeeded 
during  the  colder  weather  by  a  crop  of  tumble-down 
barrels,  and  cast-away  broken  carts ;  while  the  humbler 
and  more  insignificant  things,  the  uncared  for  weeds, 
so  to  speak,  of  the  abundant  harvest,  such  as  potato 
parings,  and  fish  heads,  and  shreds  of  ragged  dish- 
cloths, and  bits  of  broken  crockery,  and  old  bones, 
are  in  season  all  the  year  round. 


Madame  Fleury.  291 

In  the  midst  of  this  filth,  with  policy-shops  adjacent, 
and  pawnbrokers'  offices  close  at  hand,  and  rum  shops 
convenient  in  the  neighborhood — where  the  reeking 
streets  and  stagnant  gutters,  and  the  heaps  of  decom- 
posing garbage,  send  up  a  stench  so  thick  and  heavy 
that  it  beslimes  everything  it  touches,  and  makes  a 
man  feel  as  if  he  were  far  past  the  saving  powers  of 
soap  and  soft  water,  and  was  fast  dissolving  into  rancid 
lard  oil — in  this  congenial  atmosphere  flourishes  the 
prophetess,  and  here  is  found  the  mansion  of  Mrs. 
Fleury,  "  the  most  celebrated  lady  of  the  age  in  tell- 
ing future  events."  Her  mansion  is  not  one  that  would 
be  selected  as  a  permanent  residence  by  any  one  with 
a  superabundance  of  cash  capital,  nor  did  it  seem 
quite  suited  to  the  deservings  of  the  "  most  celebrated 
lady  of  the  present  age ;"  the  house,  a  three-story 
brick,  originally  intended  to  be  something  above  the 
common,  has  been  for  so  many  years  misused  and 
badly  treated  by  reckless  tenants,  that  it  has  com- 
pletely lost  its  good  temper,  as  well  as  its  good  looks, 
and  is  now  in  a  perpetual  state  of  aggravated  sulki- 


292         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

ness.  It  resents  the  presence  of  a  stranger  as  ^an 
impertinent  intrusion,  and  avenges  the  personality  in 
various  disagreeable  ways.  It  twitches  its  rickety 
stairways  impatiently  under  his  feet,  as  if  to  shake 
him  off  and  damage  him  by  the  fall — it  viciously 
attempts  to  pinch  and  jam  his  fingers  with  moody 
dogged  doors,  which  hold  back  as  long  as  they  can, 
and  then  close  with  a  sudden  snap,  exceedingly 
dangerous  to  the  unwary — it  tears  his  clothes  with 
ambushed  rusty  nails,  and  unsuspected  hooks,  and 
sharp  and  jagged  splinters — it  creaks  its  floors  under 
his  tread  with  a  doleful  whine,  and  complains  of  his 
cruel  treatment  in  sharp-pointed,  many-cornered  tears 
of  plaster,  which  it  drops  from  the  ceiling  upon  his 
head  the  instant  he  takes  his  hat  off — it  yawns  its 
wide  cellar  doors  open  like  a  greedy  mouth,  evidently 
hoping  that  an  unlucky  step  will  pitch  him  headlong 
down — and  it  conducts  itself  in  a  thousand  ill-natured 
ways  like  a  sulky  child  that  has  been  waked  up  too 
early  in  the  morning,  and  not  properly  whipped  into 
good  behavior.  The  Individual,  however,  entered 


Madame  Fleury.  293 

the  doors,  unabashed  by  the  malignant  scowl  which 
was  visible  all  over  the  face  of  the  unamiable  mansion, 
and  stumbled  through  a  narrow,  dirty  hall,  up  two 
flights  of  groaning  stairs,  before  he  discovered  any 
sign  of  the  whereabouts  of  Madame.  She  evidently 
did  not  occupy  the  entire  of  this  sulky  edifice,  or  he 
would  have  seen  some  of  the  servants  or  retainers,  who 
would  have  been  only  too  happy  to  direct  him  to  the 
head-quarters  of  the  sorceress.  But  the  few  people  he 
saw  about  the  place  seemed  to  be  each  one  occupied 
with  his  or  her  own  private  affairs,  and  to  be  too  much 
taken  up  therewith  to  pay  the  slightest  attention  to 
the  new-comer.  Their  attentions  to  each  other  were 
confined  to  reproaches,  uncomplimentary  assertions, 
and  sundry  maledictory  remarks,  accompanied,  in 
case  of  the  younger  members  of  the  various  tribes, 
with  pinches,  pokes,  punches,  and  small  but  frequent 
showers  of  brickbats. 

The  Individual  disregarded  these  evidences  of 
good  feeling,  not  considering  himself  called  upon  to 
reply  to  any  which  were  not  addressed  to  him  indivi- 


294         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

dually,  and  plodded  on  till  his  roving  eye  rested  on 
a  tin  sign,  on  which  was  inscribed,  "  Madame  Fleury, 
Room  No.  4."  There  were  no  mysterious  emblems 
or  cabalistic  flourishes  accompanying  this  simple 
announcement. 

He  pulled  the  knob  and  the  door  was  instantly 
opened  by  the  lady  herself,  so  quickly  that  the  bell 
had  no  time  to  ring  until  all  necessity  for  it  was  over 
— she  had  evidently  heard  the  advancing  footsteps  of 
her  customer,  and  had  stood  ready  to  pounce  upon 
him.  She  ushered  hinl  into  the  apartment,  where 
he  soon  recovered  his  self-possession,  and  took  an 
observation. 

The  room  was  a  small  square  one,  shabbily  fur- 
nished with  very  few  articles  of  furniture,  and  these 
were  dimly  visible  through  the  snuffy  mist  which  filled 
the  apartment ;  there  was  snuff"  everywhere ;  there 
was  a  snuffy  dust  on  the  chairs ;  there  was  a  precipi- 
tate of  snuff  on  the  floor,  and,  if  snuff  was  capable  of 
crystallization,  there  would  undoubtedly  have  been 
stalactitic  formations  of  snuff  depending  from  the  ceil- 


Madame  Fleury.  295 

ing ;  the  Madame  herself  was  snuff-colored,  as  if  she 
had  been  boiled  in  a  decoction  of  tobacco. 

She  is  a  Frenchwoman,  and  has  had  about  half  a 
century's  experience  of  her  present  fleshly  tabernacle, 
which  is  somewhat  the  worse  for  wear,  although  from 
the  fossil  remains  of  bygone  beauty,  still  visible  in  her 
ancient  countenance,  her  customer  inclined  to  the 
belief  that  in  some  remote  age  she  was  comely  and 
pleasant  to  the  eye.  He  founded  this  hypothesis 
upon  the  brown  hair  and  hazel  eyes  which  time  has 
spared. 

In  respect  to  personal  cleanliness,  the  Individual 
regrets  to  say  that  the  Madame  was  not  in  every 
respect  what  a  critical  observer  would  wish  to  see ; 
her  hands  and  arms  were  in  a  condition  which  would 
naturally  lead  to  the  belief  that  the  Croton  Corpora- 
tion had  cut  off  the  water;  and  under  each  of  her 
finger-nails  was  a  dark-colored  deposit,  which  may 
have  been  snuff,  but  looked  like  something  dirtier. 
She  was  dressed  in  a  light  striped  calico  dress,  over 
which  was  a  black  velvet  mantle  trimmed  with  fur, 


296          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

and  on  her  head  was  a  portentous  head-dress  which 
was  fearfully  and  wonderfully  made  of  shabby  black 
lace ;  her  face  was  in  the  same  condition  as  her  hands 
and  arms,  as  was  also  her  neck,  which  was  only  visi- 
ble to  the  upper  edge  of  the  collar-bone — further 
deponent  saith  not. 

She  more  nearly  approached  the  Cash  Customer's 
notion  of  the  Witch  of  Endor,  than  any  other  lady 
he  had  ever  heard  mentioned  in  polite  society.  She 
at  once  prepared  for  business. 

She  seated  herself  behind  a  small  stand,  dusty  with 
snuff,  on  which  were  a  number  of  little  books  on 
astrology,  written  in  French  and  German,  and  as 
dirty  and  as  fragrant  as  if  they  had  been  some  kind 
of  clumsy  vegetable  which  had  been  grown  in  a 
tobacco  plantation. 

She  asked  her  visitor  if  he  spoke  French  or  Ger- 
man, to  which  he  replied  that,  had  he  been  conversant 
with  all  the  languages  invented  at  the  Babel  smash-up, 
he  would  on  this  occasion,  for  particular  reasons,  pre- 
fer to  confine  himself  to  English.  He  also  ventured 


Madame  Fleury.  297 

an  inquiry  as  to  terms,  upon  which  she  produced  a 
card  containing  a  list  of  her  charges,  printed  in  Eng- 
lish, French,  and  German.  He  learned  from  this 
dingy  document  that  the  prices  of  telling  fortunes  by 
lines  of  the  hand,  by  cards,  and  by  the  stars,  varied  in 
amount  from  one  to  five  dollars.  The  Individual  con- 
cluded that  one  dollar's  worth  would  suffice,  and, 
approaching  the  little  table,  he  announced  the  result 
of  his  cogitations.  The  enchantress,  who  was  so 
saturated  with  snuff  and  tobacco  that  every  tune  her 
customer  looked  her  in  the  face  he  sneezed,  then 
brought  a  pack  of  very  filthy  cards,  which  were 
covered  over  with  mysterious  hieroglyphics  done  in 
black  paint.  She  asked  her  visitor  to  "cut"  them, 
which  he  reverently  though  daintily  did,  whereupon 
she  laid  them  on  the  table  before  her  in  four  rows, 
and  spoke,  having  previously  explained  that  she  used 
no  witchcraft  but  did  all  her  wonders  by  the  signs  of 
the  zodiac.  The  Individual  concentrated  his  atten- 
tion, and  listened  with  all  his  ears  while  the  witch  of 
Broome  Street  spoke  thus : 


298          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

"  I  will  tell  you  first  what  these  cards  indicate,  then 
I  will  look  at  the  lines  of  your  hand,  and  then  I  will 
answer  three  questions." 

Here  she  paused,  while  her  agitated  listener  sneezed 
a  couple  of  times ;  then  she  resumed,  speaking  with  a 
strong  foreign  accent : 

"You  are  good  disposition — have  excellent  me- 
mory, you  don't  have  many  enemy,  but  what  you  do 
is  of  your  own  sex — you  are  very  frank  person  and 
you  was  born  in  the  sign  of  the  Crab.  You  have 
some  lucky  days  which  are  Mondays,  Thursdays,  and 
Fridays,  whatever  you  do  on  these  .days  is  well,  but 
you  shall  not  wash  your  hair  on  Thursdays,  if  so,  you 
will  wash  all  your  luck  away.  You  must  be  very 
careful  of  fire  and  water,  you  will  be  in  great  danger 
of  fire  and  water  and  you  must  be  very  careful.  You 
may  die  by  fire  or  water,  I  cannot  say  but  you  must 
certain  be  very  careful  of  fire  and  water.  You  must 
also  be  very  careful  of  dogs,  very  careful  of  dogs, 
you  may  die  by  a  dog,  but  you  must  certain  be  very 
careful  of  dogs." 


Madame  Fleury.  299 

Here  she  paused  again,  and  while  her  visitor  was 
meditating  on  the  full  force  of  what  he  had  heard, 
and  was  inwardly  resolving  to  go  immediately  home, 
shoot  Juno,  and  drown  her  as-yet-unoffending-but-in- 
after-days-dangerous-to-his-peace-of-mind-and-the-hap- 
piness-of-his-life  pups,  she  prepared  for  the  second 
portion  of  her  discourse. 

Taking  the  Individual's  hand  in  hers,  a  proceeding 
which  made  him  feel  as  if  he  had  put  his  fingers  into 
a  bladder  of  Maccoboy,  she  made  the  following  pre- 
diction :  "  You  will  be  the  father  of  five  children,  two 
of  them  will  be  boysj  who  will  be  a  great  comfort  to 
you  when  you  grow  old." 

She  spoke  no  good  of  the  girls,  and  the  customer 
foresaw  feminine  trouble  in  his  household  with  those 
same  young  ladies.  Having  a  few  moments  to  him- 
self before  she  resumed,  he  worked  himself  into  a 
great  passion  with  the  ungrateful  hussies  who  were 
about  to  treat  their  kind  old  father  in  so  scandalous  a 
manner ;  but  presently  recollecting  that  they  were  as 
yet  in  the  condition  of  "  your  sister,  Betsey  Trotwood. 


300         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

who  never  was  born,"  he  felt  that  he  was  slightly 
premature  in  his  wrath,  so  he  cooled  down  and 
resolved  to  make  the  best  of  it  with  his  comfortable 
boys. 

The  yellow  sorceress  continued:  "Your  line  of 
life  is  long,  and  you  will  live  to  a  good  old  age.  You 
have  had  much  trouble  in  love  affairs,  and  now  your 
first  love  is  entirely  lost  to  you.  You  can  never 
reclaim  her,  and  you  must  never  venture  anything  in 
lotteries." 

Whether  Madame  Fleury  supposed  that  her  visitor 
intended  to  spend  his  salary  in  lottery  tickets,  in  the 
hope  of  winning  back  his  early  love,  or  whether  she 
supposed  that  the  woman  then  exhibiting  herself  as 
"  Perham's  Grift  Lady,"  was  the  person,  is  not  in  evi- 
dence ;  but,  from  the  peculiar  construction  of  her  last 
remark,  something  of  the  kind  must  have  been  in  her 
thoughts.  She  had  now  reached  the  third  part  of  her 
discourse,  and  come  to  the  "  three  questions."  She 
produced  an  old  French  Bible,  dingy  with  age  and 
snuff,  and  which  she  informed  the  observer  had  been 


Madame  Fleury.  301 

in  her  family  for  three  hundred  years ;  an  old  iron 
key  was  tied  between  the  leaves,  with  the  ring  and 
part  of  the  shank  of  the  key  projecting,  and  the 
Bible  was  tightly  bound  round  with  many  folds  of 
black  ribbon.  Making  her  visitor  hold  one  side  of 
the  ring  of  the  key,  while  she  held  the  other,  she  said : 
"Ask  your  three  questions,  and  if  they  are  to  be 
answered  in  the  affirmative  the  book  will  turn." 

The  Individual,  who  had  been  much  impressed  by 
her  canine  observation  of  a  few  minutes  before,  and 
whose  thoughts  were  still  running  upon  his  pet  Juno, 
and  her  six  innocent  offspring,  in  a  fit  of  absence  of 
mind  propounded  this  interrogatory : 

"Shall  I  marry  the  person  of  whom  I  am  now 
thinking?"  The  potent  enchantress  repeated  the 
question  aloud  in  French,  and  then,  with  pale  lips 
and  trembling  voice,  she  addressed  the  book  and  key 
thus : 

"  Holy  Bible,  I  ask  you,  in  the  name  of  the  Father, 
the  Son,  and  the  Holy  Ghost,  will  this  man  marry  the 
person  now  in  his  mind  ?" — then  she  closed  her  eyes 


302          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

for  a  moment,  placed  one  hand  over  her  heart,  and 
rapidly  muttered  something  in  so  low  a  tone  that  it 
was  inaudible  to  her  listener.  Immediately  the  Bihle 
commenced  to  turn  slowly  towards  her,  and  soon  had 
made  a  complete  revolution,  thus  expressing  a  very 
decided  affirmative. 

Having  started  a  matrimonial  subject  with  so  satis- 
factory a  result,  her  customer  thought  he  could  do  no 
better  than  to  follow  it  up,  and  accordingly  asked 
question  No.  2 : 

"If  I  marry  this  person,  will  the  marriage  be  a 
happy  one?"  The  same  answer  was  given,  in  the 
same  manner.  Being  now  satisfied  as  to  his  own 
matrimonial  prospects,  he  concluded  to  ascertain  those 
of  his  children,  and  question  No.  3  was  asked,  as  fol- 
lows: 

"  Shall  I  live  to  see  my  children  happily  married?" 

There  was  a  long  delay,  which  was  undoubtedly 
occasioned  by  the  "difficulty  of  properly  providing  for 
those  refractory  girls,  but  at  last  there  came  a  reluc- 
tant "Yes," 


.RSiTY 

OF 
'F* 


Madame  Fleury.  503 

Having  now  got  all  that  his  dollar  entitled  him 
to,  the  customer  prepared  to  depart.  The  Madame 
informed  him  that  in  a  few  days  she  would  have  her 
"  Magic  Mirror  "  from  Paris,  with  which  she  could  do 
new  wonders,  and  she  hoped  that  he  would  soon  call 
again,  adding,  "  If  I  was  ten  year  younger  I  would 
not  admit  gentlemen,  but  now  I  am  old  and  I  must." 


CHAPTER    XIV. 


Describes  an  interview  with  the  "  Cullud"  Seer,  Mr.  Grommer, 

of  No.  34  North  Second  Street,  Williamsburgh, 

and  what  that  respectable  Whitewasher  and 

Prophet  told  his  Visitor. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

A   BLACK  PROPHET,   MR.    GROMMER,   No.    34 
NORTH  SECOND  STREET,  WILLIAMSBURGH. 

BESIDES  those  who  advertise  in  the  daily  journals, 
there  are  many  other  witches  in  and  about  the  city 
who  do  not  deign  so  to  inform  the  world  of  their 
miraculous  powers.  Either  they  have  not  full  faith 
in  their  own  supernatural  gifts,  or  they  distrust  the 
policy  of  advertising ;  at  any  rate  they  are  only 
known  to  the  inquiring  stranger  by  accidental  rumors, 
and  mysterious  side- whisperings  emanating  from  those 
credulous  ones  who  have  had  ocular  proof  of  the  mira- 
cle-working facility  of  these  veiled  prophets. 

In  certain  of  the  older  States  of  the  Union,  there 
cannot  probably  be  found  any  country  village  that 
does  not  boast  its  old  crones  of  fortune-telling  cele- 


308  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

brity — women  who  are  not  named  by  the  awe-struck 
youngsters  of  the  town,  but  with  low  breath  and  a 
startled  sort  of  look  thrown  backward  over  the 
shoulder  every  minute  as  if  in  half-fear  that  the  evil 
eye  is  even  there  upon  them.  And  in  almost  every 
neighborhood  in  any  part  of  the  country,  there 
will  be  one  or  more  old  women  who  delight  in  mysti- 
fying the  young  folks  by  telling  fortunes  in  tea-cups, 
by  means  of  the  ominous  settling  of  the  "  grounds  ;"— 
or  who,  sometimes,  even  "run  the  cards,"  or  aspire  to 
read  the  fates  by  the  portentous  turning  of  the  Bible 
and  key.  All  these  conjurations  are  given  without 
money  and  without  price  in  the  rural  districts,  but 
they  sometimes  work  no  little  mischief. 

There  people  do  not  advertise  their  willingness  to 
read  the  fates,  and  only  exercise  their  gifts  in  that 
direction  as  a  matter  of  friendship  to  certain  favored 
ones.  The  city  and  the  suburbs  are  full  of  people  of 
this  kind,  who  profess  to  know  the  gift  of  prophecy 
and  of  miracles,  but  who  do  not  make  their  whole 
living  by  the  exercise  of  their  supernatural  powers, 


Mr.  Grommer.  309 

depending  in  part  on  some  popular  branch  of  indus- 
try. They  differ,  however,  from  their  sisters  of  the 
country  in  this  regard;  whenever  they  do  consent 
to  do  a  little  magic  for  the  accommodation  of  an 
anxious  inquirer,  they  are  very  careful  to  charge  him 
a  round  price  for  it.  Many  of  them  combine  fortune- 
telling  with  hard  work,  and  do  their  full  day's  work 
of  faithful  toil  at  some  legitimate  employment,  and  in 
the  evening  amuse  themselves  with  witchcraft. 

These  are  chrysalis  witches ;  prophets  in  embryo ; 
magicians  in  a  state  of  apprenticeship ;  they  are  learn- 
ing the  trade,  and  as  soon  as  they  feel  competent  to 
do  journey-work,  they  drop  their  hard  labor,  and  at 
once  set  up  for  full-fledged  witches  or  conjurors. 

Mr.  Grommer,  the  Black  Sage  of  Williamsburgh, 
and  his  solid  and  amiable  wife,  were  in  this  half-way 
state  when  they  were  visited  by  the  Cash  Customer. 
Their  fame  had  reached  his  ears  by  the  means  of  some 
kind  friends  who  were  cognisant  of  his  peculiar  inves- 
tigations at  that  time,  and  who  told  him  of  the  super- 
natural gifts  of  this  amiable  old  couple. 


310         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

Accordingly  the  Individual,  having  made  exact 
inquiries  as  to  their  local  habitation,  one  fine  morn- 
ing set  out  in  pursuit,  and  in  due  time  made  up  the 
following  report.  Since  that  tune  it  is  reported  that 
this  worthy  pair  have  followed  the  law  of  progression 
hereinbefore  hinted  at,  and  having  arrived  at  the 
fulness  of  all  magical  knowledge,  have  laid  aside 
the  whitewash  pail  and  discarded  the  scrubbing- 
brush,  and  given  their  time  entirely  to  the  practice  of 
the  Black  Art. 

The  Individual  beginneth  his  discourse  thus: — 

It  is  an  old  saying,  that  "The  Devil  is  never  so 
black  as  he  is  painted."  What  may  be  the  precise 
shade  of  the  complexion  of  his  amiable  majesty  the 
Cash  Customer  has  no  means  of  ascertaining  to  an 
exact  nicety  at  this  present  time  of  writing ;  but  he 
makes  the  positive  assertion,  that  some  of  the  Satanic 
human  employees  are  so  black  as  to  need  no  painting 
of  any  description. 

Whether  or  not  the  ancient  "  wise  men  from  the 
East "  were  swarthy  skinned  he  is  not  competent  to 


Mr.  Grommer.  311 

decide;  but  he  is  able  to  prove,  by  ocular  demon- 
stration, to  an  unbelieving  sceptic,  that  some  of  the 
modern  "  wise  men "  are  particularly  "  dark-com- 
plected." 

Mrs.  Grommer,  of  No.  34  North  Second  Street,  in 
the  suburb  of  Williamsburgh,  is  a  case  in  point. 
The  fame  of  this  illustrious  ebony  lady  had  gone 
abroad  through  the  land,  and  her  skill  in  prophecy 
had  been  vouched  for  by  those  who  professed  to  have 
personal  knowledge  of  the  truthfulness  of  her  predic- 
tions. But  an  air  of  mystery  surrounded  the  sable 
sorceress,  and  it  was  declared  to  be  impossible  to 
obtain  a  knowledge  of  her  exact  whereabouts,  except 
by  a  preliminary  visit  to  a  certain  mysterious  "  cave," 
the  locality  of  which  was  accurately  described. 

A  cave!  this  promised  well;  no  other  witches 
encountered  by  the  Cash  Customer,  had  he  found 
in  a  cave,  or  in  anything  resembling  that  hollow 
luxury. 

A  cave !  the  very  word  smacked  of  diabolism,  and 
had  the  true  flavor  of  genuine  witchcraft.  Our  over- 


31 2  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

joyed  hero  thought  of  the  Witch  of  Vesuvius  in 
her  mountain  cavern — of  her  lank,  grey,  dead  hair ; 
her  livid,  corpse-like  skin ;  her  stony  eye ;  her 
shrivelled,  blue  lips;  her  hollow  voice,  and  her 
threatening  arm,  and  skinny,  menacing  forefinger — 
of  the  red-eyed  fox  at  her  side,  the  crested  serpent  at 
her  feet,  the  mystic  lamp  above  her  head,  and  the 
statue  in  the  background,  triple-headed  with  skulls 
of  dog,  and  horse,  and  boar.  Something  of  this  kind 
he  hoped  to  witness  in  the  present  instance,  for 
he  argued  that  any  sorceress  who  lived  in  a  cave 
must  surely  be  supplied  with  some  more  cabalistic 
instruments  with  which  to  work  her  spells  than 
greasy  playing-cards  or  rusty  brass  door-keys.  At 
last,  then,  he  had  discovered  something  in  modern 
witchcraft  worthy  the  ancient  romance  of  the  name. 
Triumphant  and  overjoyed,  he  prepared  for  the  visit, 
confident  in  his  ability  to  witness  any  spectacle, 
however  terrible,  without  flinching,  and  in  his  cou- 
rage to  pass  any  ordeal,  however  fearful.  He  swal- 
lowed no  countercharms  or  protective  potions,  and 


Mr.  Grommer.  313 

did  not  even  take  the  precaution  to  sew  a  horse-shoe 
in  the  seat  of  his  pantaloons. 

It  is  true  he  was  rash,  but  much  must  be  forgiven 
to  youthful  curiosity,  especially  when  conjoined  with 
professional  ambition.  The  carelessness,  in  respect 
to  his  own  safety,  was  productive  of  no  ill  effects,  for 
he  returned  from  this  perilous  excursion  in  every 
regard  as  good  as  he  went.  He  had  by  this  time 
entirely  recovered  from  his  matrimonial  aspirations, 
and  had  given  up  all  hope  of  a  witch  wife.  Still,  he 
hoped  to  find  in  the  cave,  something  more  worthy  the 
ancient  and  honorable  name  of  witchcraft  than  any- 
thing he  had  yet  seen. 

Alas !  for  the  uncertainty  of  mortal  hopes.  All  is 
vanity,  bosh,  and  botheration. 

On  arriving  at  the  enchanted  spot,  it  soon  became 
evident  to  the  senses  of  our  astonished  friend  that 
the  "  Cave  "  was  not  a  cavern,  fit  for  the  habitation 
of  a  powerful  sorceress,  but  was  merely  a  mystifying 
cognomen  applied  to  a  drinking  saloon  with  a  billiard 

room  attached,  which  had  accommodations,  also,  for 

14 


314  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

persons  who  wished  to  participate  in  other  profane 
games. 

On  entering  the  "  Cave,"  your  deluded  customer 
saw  no  toothless  hag  with  the  expected  witch-like 
surroundings,  but  observed  only  a  company  of  men, 
seemingly  respectable,  indulging  in  plentiful  pota- 
tions of  beer  and  certain  other  liquids,  which 
appeared,  at  the  distance  from  which  he  observed 
them,  to  be  the  popular  compounds  designated  in  the 
vulgar  tongue  as  "  whiskey  toddies."  Addressing  the 
nearest  bystander,  the  gulled  Individual  ascertained 
the  habitation  of  Mrs.  Grommer,  and  immediately 
departed  in  search  of  that  interesting  female. 

The  way  was  crooked,  as  all  Williamsburgh  ways 
are,  but  after  an  irregular,  curvilinear  journey  of 
half  an  hour,  the  anxious  inquirer  stood  in  front  of 
the  looked-for  mansion. 

The  grading  of  the  street  has  left  at  this  point  a 
gravel  bank  some  six  or  eight  feet  high,  on  the  sum- 
mit of  which  is  perched  the  house  of  Mrs.  Grommer, 
like  a  contented  mud-turtle  on  a  sunny  stump.  It  is 


Mr.  Grommer. 

a  one-story  affair,  with  several  irregular  wings  or 
additions  sprouting  out  of  it  at  unexpected  angles, 
and,  on  the  whole,  it  looks  as  if  it  had  been  origi- 
nally built  tall  and  slim  like  a  tallow  candle,  but 
had  melted  and  run  down  into  its  present  indescrib- 
able shape.  The  architect  neglected  to  provide  this 
beautiful  edifice  with  a  front  door,  and  the  inquirer 
was  compelled  to  ascend  the  bank  by  a  flight  of  rheu- 
matic steps,  and  make  a  grand  detour  through  cur- 
rant bushes,  chickens,  washtubs,  rain-barrels,  and 
colored  children,  irregular  as  to  size,  and  variegated 
as  to  hue,  to  the  back,  and  only  door.  Here  his 
modest  rap  was  unanswered,  and  he  composedly 
walked  in,  unasked,  through  the  kitchen,  and  took  a 
seat  in  the  parlor,  where  he  was  presently  discovered 
by  the  lady  of  the  house,  but  not  until  he  had  time  to 
take  an  accurate  observation. 

Mrs.  Grommer  had,  up  to  this  time,  been  engaged 
in  making  a  public  example  of  certain  ones  of  her 
grandchildren,  who  had  been  trespassing  on  the  cur- 
rant bushes  of  a  neighbor,  and  had  been  caught  in 


31 6          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

the  act.  Their  indulgent  grandmother,  being  scandal- 
ized by  this  exhibition  of  youthful  depravity,  with  a 
regard  for  the  demands  of  strict  justice  that  did  her 
infinite  credit,  had  inflicted  on  several  of  the  delin- 
quents that  mild  punishment  known  as  "  spanking." 
The  novelty  of  the  sight  had  drawn  together  quite  a 
collection  of  the  neighbors,  who  signified  their 
approval  of  the  deed  by  encouraging  cheers. 

Meantime  the  Individual  had  ample  time  to 
contemplate  the  inside  beauties  of  the  mansion  of  the 
sable  prophet.  Mrs.  Grommer  soon  finished  her 
athletic  exercise  out-doors,  and  came  into  the  house 
to  rearrange  her  dress  and  receive  her  company. 

The  reception-room  was  about  10  by  12,  and  so  low 
that  a  tall  man  could  not  yawn  in  it  without  rapping 
his  head  against  the  ceiling.  In  places  the  plaster 
had  been  displaced  and  the  bare  lath  showed  through, 
reminding  one  of  skeletons.  The  floor  was  dingily 
carpeted ;  a  double  bed  occupied  one  side  of  the  room, 
a  small  cooking-stove  stood  in  the  middle  of  the  floor 
and  had  a  disproportionately  slim  pipe  issuing  out  of 


Mr.  Grommer.  317 

the  corner,  like  a  straw  in  a  mint-julep ;  seven  chairs 
of  varied  patterns,  a  small  round  table,  on  which  lay 
a  pack  of  cards  covered  with  a  cloth,  and  a  tumble- 
down chest  of  drawers  completed  the  necessary  furni 
ture  of  the  apartment.  The  ornaments  are  quickly 
enumerated.  A  black  wooden  cross  hung  by  the 
windows,  a  few  cheap  and  gaudy  Scriptural  prints 
were  fastened  against  the  wall,  a  chemist's  bottle,  of 
large  dimensions,  and  filled  with  a  blue  liquid,  reposed 
on  the  chest  of  drawers,  side  by  side  with  a  few  minia- 
ture casts  of  lambs  and  dogs ;  and  on  a  little  shelf 
stood  a  quarter-size  plaster  bust  of  some  unknown 
worthy,  of  which  the  head  had  been  knocked  off  and 
its  place  significantly  supplied  with  a  goose-egg. 

In  a  short  time  Mrs.  Grommer  emerged  from  an 
unlooked-for  apartment  and  entered  the  room.  She 
is  a  negress  and  a  grandmother — her  age  is  65,  and  a 
brood  of  children,  together  with  a  swarm  of  the  afore- 
said grandchildren,  reside  near  at  hand  and  keep  the 
old  lady's  mansion  constantly  besieged. 

As  to  size — she  is  large,   apparently  solid,  and 


31 8         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

would  struggle  severely  with  a  200  pound  weight 
before  she  would  acknowledge  herself  conquered. 
She  was  neatly  attired,  and,  in  fact,  a  most  grateful 
air  of  cleanliness  pervaded  the  entire  establishment, 
and  it  was  a  refreshing  contrast  to  most  of  the  dens 
of  the  fairer-skinned  witches  heretofore  encountered 
by  the  cash  delegate. 

The  sable  one  entered  into  conversation,  and  a  few 
minutes  were  passed  in  cheerful  chat,  in  the  course  of 
which  she  thus  referred  to  the  scapegrace  husband  of 
one  of  her  numerous  daughters :  "  They  think  Anson 
is  dead,  but  I  can't  station  him  dead.  I  think  he's  at 
sea  somewhere,  or  in  a  foreign  land,  but  I  can't  station 
him  dead.  He  might  as  well  be  under  ground  for  all 
the  good  he  is,  for  he  i  ssuch  a  poor,  mis'able,  drinkin' 
feller  that  he  aint  no  use,  but,  after  all,  I  can't  run 
him  dead." 

At  last,  the  object  of  the  visit  was  mentioned,  and, 
to  the  individual's  great  surprise,  Mrs.  Grommer  posi- 
tively and  peremptorily  refused  to  give  him  the 
benefit  of  her  prophetic  powers. 


Mr.  Grommer.  319 

She  said :  "It  aint  no  use ;  I  never  does  for  gentle- 
men. I  does  sometimes  for  ladies,  but  I  can't  do  it 
for  gentlemen."  Eemonstrance  and  entreaty  were 
alike  useless ;  she  was  immovable.  At  last,  she  said 
she  would  call  her  "  old  man,"  who  could  tell  fortunes 
as  well  as  she  could,  but  she  added,  with  a  determined 
shake  of  the  head :  "  He'll  do  it,  but  he  will  charge 
you  a  dollar,  and  he  wont  do  it  under,  neither." 
When  her  hearer  expressed  his  willingness  to  learn 
his  future  fate  by  the  masculine  medium,  she 
addressed  him  thus:  "You  station  there,  in  that 
chair,  and  I'll  send  him."  The  disappointed  one 
"  stationed  "  in  the  designated  chair,  and  awaited  the 
coming  of  the  "old  man."  He  soon  appeared  and 
seated  himself,  ready  to  begin. 

"  Old  Man  "  Grommer  is  a  professor  of  the  white- 
washing branch  of  decorative  art.  He  occasionally 
relaxes  his  noble  mind  from  the  arduous  mental  labor 
attendant  upon  the  successful  carrying  on  of  his  regu- 
lar business,  and  condescends  to  earn  an  easy  dollar 
by  fortune-telling.  He  is  a  shrewd-looking  old  man, 


320  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

with  a  dash  of  white  blood  in  his  composition;  his 
hair  curls  tightly  all  over  his  head,  but  is  elaborated 
on  each  side  of  his  face  into  a  single  hard-twisted  ring- 
let ;  short  crisped  whiskers,  streaked  with  grey,  encir- 
cle his  face,  and  an  imperial  completes  his  hirsute 
attractions ;  his  cheeks  and  forehead  are  marked  with 
the  small-pox. 

He  was  attired  in  a  grey  and  striped  dress,  the 
peculiarity  of  which  was  that  the  coat  and  vest  were 
bound  with  wide  stripes  of  black  velvet.  He  speaks 
with  but  little  of  the  peculiar  negro  dialect,  except  when 
he  forgets  himself  for  an  instant,  and  unguardedly 
relapses  into  the  old  habits,  which  he  has  evidently 
carefully  endeavored  to  overcome.  He  looked  at  his 
visitor  very  sharply  for  a  minute  or  two,  while  he  pre- 
tended to  be  abstractedly  shuffling  the  cards;  and 
collecting  his  valuable  thoughts,  at  last  he  remarked  : 

"  I  s'pose  you  want  me  to  run  the  cards  for  you  ?" 
The  reply  was  in  the  affirmative,  and  the  colored 
prophet  concentrated  his  mind  and  began.  Slowly  he 
dealt  the  cards,  and  spake  as  follows : 


Mr.  Grommer.  321 

"  You  don't  believe  in  fortunes,  my  son — I  see  that. 
Must  tell  you  what  I  see  here — can't  help  it — if  I  see 
it  in  the  cards,  must  tell  you.  You've  had  great  deal 
trouble,  my  son ;  more  comin'.  Can't  help  it ;  mus' 
tell  you.  I  see  trouble  in  de  cards ;  I  see  razackly 
what  it  is." 

Here  he  suddenly  stopped,  and  resuming  his 
guarded  manner,  continued :  "  You've  lost  something, 
my  son ;  something  that  you  think  a  great  deal  of. 
Now  I  don't  like  to  tell  about  lost  things ;  I'se  'fraid 
I'll  get  myself  into  a  snare ;  I'd  rather  not  say  nothing 
about  it ;  fear  I'll  get  myself  into  trouble."  His  audi- 
tor here  gave  him  the  most  positive  assurances  that  he 
should  never  be  called  into  court  to  identify  the  thief 
of  the  missing  article,  and  that  he  should  be  held  free 
from  all  harm ;  whereupon  he  consented  to  impart 
the  following  information : 

"Dis  thing  you  lost  is  something  that  hangs  up  on 
a  nail — something  bright  and  round — you  thinks  a 
great  deal  of  it,  my  son — when  it  went  away  it  had  on 

a  bright  guard — hasn't  got  a  bright  guard  on  now ; 

14* 


322          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

got  a  black  guard — you  see  I  knows  all  about  de 
article,  my  son,  and  I  can  tell  you  razackly  where  de 
article  is — but  I'se  rather  not  tell  you  'bout  it,  my  son ; 
'fraid  I'll  run  myself  into  a  snare ;  dat's  the  truth,  my 
son,  rather  no  say  nothin'  'bout  de  article." 

Being  again  assured  of  safety,  he  went  on  r  "Well, 
my  son,  I'll  tell  you  'bout  this  yer  thing.  Has  you 
got  any  boys  in  yer  employ  ?  No.  Got  two  girls 
have  you  ?  One  of  dem  girls  is  light-haired  and  de 
other  is  dark — the  light  one  is  de  one  who  comes  in 
your  room  in  your  boarding-house  every  morning 
when  you'se  gone  away — 'cause  you  lives  in  a  boardin' 
house,  I  sees  that — can  see  it  in  the  cards,  can  always 
tell  razackly.  If  you  make  a  fuss  about  dat  article 
you  make  your  landlady  feel  bad.  You  has  accused 
somebody  of  taking  that  article,  but  you  'cused  de 
wrong  person.  The  light-haired  girl  is  who's  got  that 
article.  Can't  help  it,  my  son,  must  tell  you — de 
light-haired  girl  is  de  person.  Mebbe  she's  put  it 
back,  my  son,  I'll  see." 

Here  he  cut  the  cards  carefully,  and  continued : 


Mr.  Grommer.  323 

"There's  trouble  'bout  dat  article,  my  son,  can't 
help  it,  must  tell  you — but  you'll  get  the  article,  but 
you'll  have  disappointment.  Whenever  you  see  dat 
card  you  may  know  there's  disappointment  comin' — 
dat  card  is  always  disappointment — can't  help  it,  my 
son,  must  tell  you."  Here  he  exhibited  the  nine  of 
spades,  to  the  malignant  influence  of  which  he  attri- 
buted the  future  woes  of  his  hearer. 

"  When  you  go  home  look  in  your  bed  between 
the  mattresses  and  see  if  the  article  is  there,  for 
mebbe  she'll  put  it  back — if  it  aint  there  you  must 
go  to  her  and  'cuse  her  of  it,  'cause  it's  in  the  house 
and  she's  got  it — can't  help  it,  my  son,  must  tell 
you." 

It  is  perhaps  needless  to  say  that  the  customer  had 
met  with  no  loss  of  property,  and  that  all  this  was 
entirely  gratuitous  on  the  part  of  Mr.  Grommer. 
Having,  however,  settled  the  matter  to  his  satisfac- 
tion, that  gentleman  turned  his  attention  to  other 
things,  and  in  the  intervals  of  repeated  shufflings  and 
cuttings  of  the  cards  he  said : 


324         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

uDere  is  a  journey  for  you  soon — and  dis  journey 
is  going  to  be  the  best  thing  that  ever  happened  to 
yon — but  dere  is  a  little  disappointment  first — can't 
help  it,  my  son,  must  tell — here  you  can  see  for  your- 
self," and  out  came  the  malicious  nine  of  spades  again. 
"  You  will  get  money  from  beyond  sea,  my  son — lots 
of  money,  lots  of  money,  my  son — here  it  is,  you  can 
see  for  yourself,"  and  he  exhibited  the  cheerful  faces 
of  the  eight,  nine,  and  ten  of  diamonds.  "  You  will 
have  disappointment  before  you  get  this  money,"  and 
up  came  the  hateful  visage  of  the  nine  of  spades  once 
more.  "  You  was  born  under  a  good  star,  my  son — 
under  a  morning  star — you  was  born  under  the  planet 
Jupiter,  my  son,  at  28  minutes  past  four  in  the  morn- 
ing— lucky  star,  my  son,  very  lucky  star.  You  are 
going  to  make  a  great  change  in  your  business,  my 
son,  which  will  be  good ;  you  will  always  be  success- 
ful in  business,  but  I  think  there  is  a  little  disappoint- 
ment first ;  can't  help  it,  must  tell  you."  Here  the 
listener  looked  for  the  nine  of  spades  again,  but  it 
didn't  come,  "After  a  little  while  you  turns  your 


Mr.  Grommer,  325 

back  on  trouble ;  here,  you  can  see  for  yourself — see, 
this  is  you." 

The  king  of  clubs  was  the  Individual  at  that  instant, 
and  the  troubles  upon  which  he  turned  his  back  are, 
as  nearly  as  he  can  remember,  the  knave  of  clubs,  the 
nine  of  spades,  and  the  deuce  of  diamonds. 

The  sage  went  on.  "  I'm  comin'  now  to  your  mar- 
riage. You'se  goin'  to  be  married,  but  you'll  have 
some  disappointment  first — can't  help  it,  my  son,  must 
tell  you.  You  see,  here  is  a  dark-complected  lady 
that  you  like,  and  she  has  a  heart  for  you,  but  her 
father  don't  like  you — he  prefers  a  young  man  of 
lighter  complexion — see,  here  you  all  are,  my  son. 
This  is  you,"  and  he  showed  the  king  of  clubs — "  and 
this  is  her."  The  "her"  of  whom  he  spoke  so  irreve- 
rently, was  the  queen  of  clubs.  "  This  is  the  heart  she 
has  for  you,"  and  he  exhibited  the  seven  of  that 
amorous  suit.  "This  is  her  father" — the  obstinate 
and  cruel  "parient"  here  displayed,  was  the  king 
of  spades — "  and  dis  yer  is  de  young  man  her  father 
likes,"  and  he  placed  before  the  eyes  of  the  customer 


326          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

a  hated  rival  in  the  shape  of  the  knave  of  diamonds. 
"  You  see  how  it  is,  my  son,  dere  is  trouble  between 
you — can't  help  it.  You  may  possibly  marry  de 
dark-complected  lady  yet,  but  don't  you  do  it,  my 
son,  don't  you  do  it — now  mind  I  tell  you,  don't  you 
do  it — she  is  not  the  lady  for  you — can't  help  it, 
must  tell  you ;  if  you  marry  dat  lady  you  will  be 
sorry  dat  you  ever  tie  de  knot.  "See,  here  is  the 
knot,"  and  he  showed  the  ace  of  diamonds.  "  See,  this 
is  the  lady  you  ought  to  marry,"  and  he  produced 
the  queen  of  diamonds;  "and  she  will  be  your  second 
wife  if  you  do  marry  de  dark-complected  lady,  but 
you'd  better  marry  her  first  if  you  can  get  her,  and 
let  de  dark-complected  lady  go  for  ebber;  dat's  so,  my 
son,  now  mind  I  tell  you." 

He  condescended  no  more,  and  the  Cash  Customer 
disbursed  his  dollar  and  departed,  all  the  grandchil- 
dren gathering  on  the  bank  to  give  him  three  cheers 
as  a  parting  salute. 


CHAPTER    XV. 


How  the   "Individual"  calls  on  Madame  Clifton,  of  No.  185 
Orchard  Street,  and   how  that   amiable   and  gifted 
"  Seventh  daughter  of  a  seventh  daughter,"  pro- 
phesies his  speedy  death  and  destruction, 
together  with  all  about  the  "  Chinese 
Ruling  Planet  Charm/' 


CHAPTER  XV. 

MADAME  CLIFTON,   185  ORCHARD  STREET. 

PERHAPS  there  is  no  class  of  men  brought  constantly 
and  prominently  before  the  public  eye,  that  is  so 
great  a  puzzle  to  that  public,  as  the  class  popularly 
denominated  "  sporting  men."  There  is  not  a  corner 
on  Broadway  where  they  do  not  congregate  ;  there  is 
not  a  theatre  where  they  do  not  abound,  and  there  is 
not  a  concert-room  that  docs  not  overrun  with  them. 
There  is  a  uniformity  in  their  appearance  that  makes 
them  easily  recognised,  for  they  all  affect  the  ultra 
stylish  in  costume,  even  to  the  extreme  of  light  kid 
gloves  in  the  street ;  they  all  have  the  crisp  mous- 
tache, the  smooth-shaven  cheeks,  and  the  same  keen, 
ever-watchful  eye,  constantly  on  the  look-out  for  a 
"  customer,"  that  respectable  word  meaning,  in  their 


330         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

slang,  a  person  to  be  victimized  and  swindled.  Every 
lady  who  walks  the  street  has  to  run  the  gauntlet  of 
their  insolent  glances,  and  not  unfrequently  to  hear 
their  vulgar  and  offensive  criticisms  on  her  personal 
appearance ;  and  every  gentleman  whose  business 
calls  him  into  Broadway  of  a  pleasant  day,  has  seen 
these  persons  grouped  on  the  corner  leisurely  survey- 
ing the  passers-by,  or  gathered  into  a  little  knot 
before  some  favorite  rum-shop,  discussing  what  is,  to 
them,  the  absorbing  topic  of  the  day — probably  the 
"good  strike"  Blobbsby  made,  " fighting  the  tiger," 
the  night  before;  the  "heavy  run"  a  favorite  billiard- 
player  made  on  a  certain  occasion,  or  the  respective 
chances  of  success  of  the  two  distinguished  gentlemen 
who  may  chance  at  that  time  to  be  in  training  with 
a  view  of  battering  each  other's  heads  until  one  con- 
cedes his  claim  to  the  brutal  "honors"  of  the  prize 
ring. 

No  gentlemen  of  fashion  and  fortune  are  more 
expensively  dressed  than  these  men  ;  no  class  of  peo- 
ple wear  more  finely  stitched  and  embroidered  linen, 


Madame  Clifton.  331 

more  costly  broadcloth,  more  showy  golden  orna- 
ments, or  more  brilliant  diamonds;  but  for  all,  the 
man  is  yet  to  be  found  who  has  ever  seen  one  of  them 
put  his  hand  or  his  brain  to  one  single  hour's  honest 
work.  Unsophisticated  persons  are  often  puzzled  to 
account  for  the  apparently  irreconcilable  circumstances 
of  no  work,  and  plenty  of  money,  and  in  their  en- 
deavors to  invent  a  plausible  hypothesis  on  the  basis 
of  honesty,  must  ever  be  bewildered.  The  city  man 
knows  them  at  a  glance  to  be  "  sporting  men." 

This  phrase  is  a  particularly  comprehensive  one ; 
the  "  sporting  man"  is  a  gambler  by  profession,  and 
therefore  a  swindler  by  necessity,  for  an  "  honest 
gambler"  would  fill  a  niche  in  the  scale  of  created 
beings  that  has  never  yet  been  occupied  ;  in  addition 
to  this,  nearly  every  sporting  man  is  a  thief  whenevei 
opportunity  offers.  They  probably  would  not  pick  a 
sober  man's  pocket,  or  knock  him  down  at  night  and 
take  his  watch  and  money,  for  the  risk  of  detection 
would  be  too  great ;  but  they  are  kept  from  down- 
right stealing  by  no  excess  of  virtue. 


332         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

These  remarks  apply  to  the  "  sporting  men,"  by 
profession — to  those  plausible  gallows-birds  who  have 
no  other  ostensible  means  of  getting  a  living.  There 
are  many  men  who  sometimes  spend  an  hour  or  two 
at  a  faro  table,  or  who  occasionally  pass  an  evening 
in  gambling  at  some  other  game,  who  do  all  fairly, 
and  are  above  all  suspicion  of  foul  play ;  these 
persons  are  of  course  plundered  by  sharpers  who 
surround  them,  and  are  called  "  good  fellows " 
because  they  submit  to  their  losses  without  grum- 
bling. 

The  "  sporting  men  "  all  have  mistresses,  on  whom 
they  sometimes  rely  for  funds  whenever  an  "  unlucky 
hit,"  or  a  "bad  streak  of  luck,"  has  run  their  own 
purses  low. 

It  is  not  part  of  the  present  purpose  of  this  book  to 
give  particulars  as  to  who  and  what  their  mistresses 
are,  further  than  to  state  that  at  least  one  or  two  of 
the  "Witches"  described  herein,  officiate  in  that 
capacity.  It  is  true,  that  the  most  of  them  are  not  of 
a  style  to  tempt  the  lust  of  any  man,  but  there  are 


Madame  Clifton.  333 

certain  exceptions  to  the  general  rule,  and  in  one  or 
two  instances  the  "  Individual "  found  the  fortune- 
teller to  be  comely  and  pleasant  to  the  eye.  As  these 
women  generally  have  plenty  of  money,  they  are  very 
eligible  partners  for  gamblers,  who  are  liable  to  as 
many  reverses  as  ever  Mr.  Micawber  encountered,  and 
who,  when  once  down,  might  remain  perpetually 
floored,  did  not  some  kind  friend  set  them  on  their 
financial  feet  again. 

And  this  is  one  of  the  duties  of  the  monied  mistress. 
When  the  "  sporting  man  "  is  in  funds,  no  one  more 
recklessly  extravagant  than  he,  and  no  one  cuts  a 
greater  dash  than  his  "  ladye-love,"  if  he  chooses  so  to 
do ;  but  when  the  cards  run  cross,  and  the  purse  is 
empty,  it  devolves  upon  her  to  furnish  the  capital  to 
start  in  the  world  again. 

The  fact  is  well  known  to  those  who  have  taken 
the  trouble  to  inquire  into  the  subject,  that  several  of 
the  more  fashionable  fortune-tellers  of  the  city  sus- 
tain this  sort  of  illicit  relation  to  certain  "sporting 
men,"  whose  faces  a  man  may  see,  perhaps,  half  a 


334          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

dozen  times  in  the  course  of  a  lounge  up  and  down 
Broadway  of  a  pleasant  afternoon. 

Madame  Clifton  is,  on  the  whole,  a  comely  woman, 
and  does  a  good  business,  but  of  course  no  sane  per- 
son will  think  of  applying  these  remarks  personally 
to  that  respected  matron. 

The  "  Individual "  paid  a  lengthened  visit  to 
Madame  Clifton,  and  his  remarks  are  recorded  below. 
Because  he  met  a  sleek,  close-shaved,  finely  mous- 
tached  gentleman  coming  away  from  the  door,  he  was 
of  course  not  justified  in  believing  that  the  said  gen- 
tleman belonged  to  the  establishment.  Of  course 
not. 

The  female  professors  of  the  black  art  hitherto 
visited  by  the  Cash  Customer,  had  not  impressed  him 
with  a  profound  belief  in  their  supernatural  powers ; 
he  was  "  anxious,"  and  was  "  awakened  to  inquiry," 
but  he  still  had  doubts,  and  there  was  great  danger 
of  his  backsliding  if  there  wasn't  something  imme- 
diately done  for  him. 

He  had  been  greatly  disappointed  by  the  absence 


Madame  Clifton.  335 

from  the  domiciles  of  these  good  ladies  of  all  the  tradi- 
tional necromantic  implements  and  tools.  His  dispo- 
sition to  adhere  to  the  modern  witch-faith  would  have 
been  greatly  strengthened  by  the  sight  of  a  skull  and 
cross-bones ;  a  tame  snake,  or  a  little  devil  in  a  bottle, 
would  have  fixed  his  wavering  belief;  and  his  con- 
version would  have  been  thoroughly  assured  by  the 
timely  exhibition  of  a  broom-stick  on  which  he  could 
see  the  saddle-marks. 

None  of  these  things  had  as  yet  been  forthcoming, 
and  the  anxious  inquirer,  mourning  the  departure  of 
all  the  romance  of  the  art  of  witchcraft,  was  fast  sink- 
ing into  a  state  of  incurable  scepticism  on  the  subject 
of  even  its  utility,  in  the  degenerate  hands  of  modern 
practitioners.  Hope  had  not,  however,  entirely  de- 
serted his  heart,  but  still  retained  her  fabled  position 
in  the  bottom  of  his  chest,  near  that  important  viscus, 
and  he,  therefore,  courageously  continued  his  pursuit 
of  witchcraft  under  difficulties. 

His  next  visit  was  to  Orchard  street,  and  he  was 
induced  to  expect  favorable  results  by  the  encouraging 


336         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

and  positive  assertion  which  concludes  the  subjoined 
advertisement,  that  " Madame  Clifton  is  no  humbug:'7 


"  AN  ASTROLOGIST  THAT  BEATS  THE  WORLD,  and  $5,000  reward 
is  offered  to  pay  any  person  who  can  surpass  her  in  giving  cor- 
rect statements  on  past,  present,  and  future  events,  particularly 
absent  friends,  losses,  lawsuits,  &c.  She  also  gives  lucky  num- 
bers. She  surpasses  any  person  that  has  ever  visited  our  city. 
She  is  also  making  great  cures.  All  persons  who  are  afflicted 
with  consumption,  liver  complaint,  scrofula,  rheumatism,  or  any 
other  lingering  disease,  would  do  well  to  call  and  see  this  won- 
derful and  natural  gifted  lady,  and  you  will  not  go  away  dissatis- 
fied. N.B. — Madame  Clifton  is  no  humbug.  Call  and  satisfy 
yourselves.  Residence  No.  185  Orchard-st,  between  Houston 
and  Stanton." 

Although  Orchard  Street  is  by  no  means  so  objec- 
tionable a  thoroughfare  as  human  ingenuity  might 
make  it,  still,  in  spite  of  its  pleasant-sounding  name,  it 
is  not  altogether  a  vernal  paradise.  If  there  ever  was 
any  fitness  in  the  name  it  must  have  been  many  years 
ago,  and  the  ancient  orchard  bears  now  no  fruit,  but 


Madame  Clifton.  337 

low  brick  houses  of  assorted  sizes  and  colors,  seedy, 
and,  in  appearance,  semi-respectable.  Occasionally  a 
blacksmith's  shop,  a  paint  room,  or  a  livery  stable, 
lower  or  meaner  and  more  contracted  than  their  neigh- 
bors, look  as  if  they  never  got  ripe,  but  had  shrivelled 
and  dropped  off  before  their  time. 

The  street  is  in  a  state  of  perennial  bloom  with 
half-built  dwellings  like  gaudy  scarlet  blossoms,  which 
are  ripened  into  tenements  by  the  fostering  care  of 
masons  and  carpenters  with  the  most  industrious 
forcing  ;  and  buds  of  buildings  are  scattered  in  every 
direction,  in  the  shape  of  mortar-beds  and  piles  of 
brick  and  lumber,  waiting  the  due  time  for  their 
architectural  sprouting. 

The  house  of  Madame  Clifton  is  of  moderate 
growth,  being  but  two  stories  high ;  it  has  a  red  brick 
front  and  green  window-blinds,  and  is  so  ingeniously 
grafted  to  its  nearest  neighbor  that  some  little  care  is 
necessary  to  determine  which  is  the  parent  stock.  It 
presents  a  fair  outside,  is  but  little  damaged  by  age  or 

weather,  and  is  seemingly  in  a  state  of  good  repair. 

15 


338         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

A  neat-looking  colored  girl  answered  the  bell,  and, 
showing  our  reporter  into  the  parlor,  asked  his  busi- 
ness, and  if  he  "  knew  Madame  Clifton's  terms  ?" 

Now  when  it  is  understood  that  fortune-telling  .is 
by  no  means  the  only,  or  the  most  lucrative  part  of 
Madame  Clifton's  business,  it  will  be  perceived  that 
this  inquiry  had  a  peculiar  significance.  Having  the 
fear  of  libel  suits  before  his  eyes,  the  Individual  cannot 
state  in  precise  and  plain  terms  the  exact  nature  of 
the  business  which  the  colored  girl  evidently  thought 
had  brought  him  there ;  he  will  content  himself  with 
delicately  insinuating,  that  if  his  errand  had  been  of 
the  nature  insinuated  by  that  female  delegate  from 
Africa,  there  would  have  been  a  "  lady  in  the  case." 

Fortunately  the  Cash  Customer  had  erred  not  thus, 
but  he  made  known  to  the  colored  lady  his  simple 
business. 

Learning  that  he  only  wanted  to  have  his  fortune 
told  by  the  Madame,  and  had  no  occasion  to  test  her  skill 
in  the  more  expensive  departments  of  her  profession, 
the  girl  appeared  to  be  satisfied  of  the  responsibility 


Madame  Clifton.  339 

of  her  visitor  for  that  limited  amount,  and  departed 
to  inform  her  mistress. 

The  customer  took  an  observation. 

The  room  was  a  neatly-furnished  parlor,  a  little 
flashy  perhaps  in  the  article  of  mirrors,  but  the  sofas, 
chairs,  carpet,  &c.,  were  plain  and  not  offensive  to 
good  taste.  A  piano  was  in  the  room,  but  it  was 
closed,  and  its  tone  and  quality  are  unknown.  One 
curious  article,  for  a  parlor  ornament,  stood  in  the  cor- 
ner of  the  room  ;  it  was  the  huge  sign-board  of  a  per- 
fumery store,  and  bore  in  large  letters  the  name  of 
a  dealer  in  sweet-scented  merchandise,  blazoned 
thereon  in  all  the  finery  of  Dutch  metal  and  bronze. 
This  conspicuous  article,  though  mysterious  and 
unaccountable,  was  not  cabalistic,  and  savored  not  of 
witchcraft. 

Presently  the  quiet  colored  girl  returned,  and  in  a 
low  voice,  and  with  a  subdued  well-trained  manner, 
invited  her  visitor  to  follow  her ;  meekly  obeying,  he 
was  led  up  two  flights  of  respectable  stairs  into  a 
room  wherein  there  was  nothing  mysterious,  nor  was 


340  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

there  anything  particularly  suggestive  except  a  large 
glass  case  filled  with  a  stock  of  perfumery.  "What 
was  the  propriety  of  so  very  many  bottles  filled  with 
perfumes  and  medicines  did  not  at  first  appear ;  but 
the  assortment  of  imprisoned  odors,  and  liquid  drugs, 
and  the  store-sign  down  stairs,  and  Madame  Clifton, 
and  a  certain  perfumery  store  in  Broadway,  and  the 
proprietor  thereof,  so  tangled  themselves  together  in 
the  brain  of  the  inquirer  that  he  has  never  since  that 
time  been  able  to  disconnect  one  from  the  other. 

Upon  a  small  stand  were  two  packs  of  cards — the 
one  an  ordinary  playing  pack,  and  the  other  what  are 
known  sometimes  as  fortune-telling  cards.  The 
devices  on  these  latter  differed  materially  from  those 
in  ordinary  use;  there  were  no  plain  cards;  every 
one  was  ornamented  with  some  kind  of  a  significant 
design;  there  were  pictures  of  women,  of  men,  of 
ships  and  raging  seas,  of  hearses,  and  sickbeds,  and 
shrouds,  and  coffins,  and  corpses,  and  graves,  and 
tombstones,  and  similar  cheerful  objects;  then  there 
were  squares,  and  circles,  and  hands  with  scales,  and 


Madame  Clifton.  341 

hands  with  daggers,  and  hands  sticking  through 
clouds,  and  purses  of  money,  and  carriages,  and 
moons,  and  suns,  and  serpents,  and  hearts,  and  Cupids, 
and  eyes,  and  rays  of  light  coming  from  nowhere,  and 
shining  on  nothing,  and  Herculeses  with  big  clubs,  and 
big  arms,  bigger  than  the  clubs,  and  big  legs,  bigger 
than  both  together,  and  swords,  and  spears,  and  sun- 
dials, and  many  other  designs  equally  intelligible  and 
portentous. 

Soon  the  Madame  appeared,  and  the  attention  of 
the  Individual  was  immediately  diverted  from  sur- 
rounding objects  and  riveted  on  the  incomprehensible 
woman  who  was  "  no  humbug,"  and  who,  according 
to  her  own  opinion  of  herself,  would  have  exactly 
realized  Mr.  Edmund  Sparkler's  idea  of  a  "dem'dfine 
woman,  with  nobigodnonsense  about  her." 

On  the  first  glance,  Madame  Clifton  is  what  would 
be  called  "fine-looking,"  but  she  does  not  analyse 
well.  She  is  of  medium  height,  aged  about  thirty-five 
years,  with  very  light,  piercing  blue  eyes,  and  very 
black  hair,  one  little  lock  of  which  is  precisely  twisted 


342  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

into  a  very  elaborate  little  curl,  which  rests  in  the 
middle  of  her  forehead  between  her  eyes,  as  if  to  keep 
those  quarrelsome  orbs  apart.  Her  eyebrows  are 
unusually  heavy,  so  much  so  as  to  give  a  curious 
menacing  look  to  the  upper  part  of  her  face,  which 
disagreeable  expression  is  intensified  by  the  extreme 
paleness  of  her  countenance. 

Her  dress  was  unassuming,  neat,  and  tasteful,  save 
in  the  one  article  of  jewelry,  of  which  she  wore  as 
much  as  if  the  stock  in  trade  at  the  Broadway  per- 
fumery store  had  been  pearls,  and  gold,  and  diamonds, 
instead  of  perfumes  and  essences.  Her  deportment 
was  self-possessed  and  lady -like,  that  is,  if  an  expres- 
sion of  tireless  watchfulness  and  unsleeping  suspicion 
are  consistent  with  refined  and  easy  manners.  She 
never  took  her  steel-blue  eyes  from  her  visitor's  face ; 
she  did  not  for  an  instant  relax  her  confident  smile ; 
she  did  not  speak  but  in  the  lowest  softest  tones;  but 
her  auditor  felt  every  instant  more  convinced  that 
the  voice  was  the  falsest  voice  he  ever  heard,  the 
smile  the  falsest  smile  he  ever  saw,  and  that  the 


Madame  Clifton.  343 

cold  piercing  eye  alone  was  true,  and  that  was  only 
true  because  no  art  could  conceal  its  calculating 
glitter. 

If  one  could  imagine  a  smiling  cat,  Madame  Clifton 
would  resemble  that  cat  more  than  any  one  thing  in 
the  world.  Neat  and  precise  in  her  outward  appear- 
ance ;  not  a  fold  of  her  garments,  not  a  thread  of  lace 
or  ribbon,  not  a  hair  of  her  head,  but  was  exactly 
smooth  and  orderly,  and  in  its  exact  place ;  not  a 
glance  of  her  eye  that  was  not  watchful  and  suspi- 
cious ;  not  a  tone  or  word  that  was  not  treacherous 
in  sound ;  not  a  movement  of  body  or  of  limb  that 
was  not  soft  and  stealthy ;  her  feline  resemblances 
developed  themselves  more  and  more  every  instant, 
until  at  last  the  Individual  came  to  regard  her  as 
some  kind  of  dangerous  animal  in  a  state  of  tempo- 
rary and  perfidious  repose.  And  this  impression 
deepened  every  instant,  so  much  so,  that  when  the 
small  soft  hand  was  laid  in  his,  he  almost  expected 
to  see  the  sharp  claws  unsheathe  themselves  from  the 
velvet  finger-tips  and  fasten  in  his  flesh. 


344          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

The  language  she  used,  when  freed  from  the  tech- 
nical phrases  of  her  trade,  was  good  enough  for  every 
day,  and  she  did  not  distinguish  herself  by  any  spe- 
cialty of  bad  English. 

She  asked  her  customer,  with  her  most  insinuating 
smile,  if  he  would  have  her  "  run  the  cards  for  him," 
and  on  receiving  an  affirmative  answer  she  took  the 
pack  of  playing  cards  into  her  velvet  hands,  pawed 
them  dexterously  over  a  few  times  to  shuffle  them, 
laid  them  in  three  rows  with  the  faces  upward,  and 
softly  purred  the  following  words : 

"  I  am  uncertain  whether  to  run  you  a  club  or  a 
diamond,  for  I  do  not  exactly  see  how  it  is ;  but  I 
will  run  you  a  club  first,  and  if  you  find  that  it  does 
not  tell  your  past  history,  please  to  mention  the  fact 
to  me,  and  I  will  then  run  you  a  diamond." 

She  then  proceeded  to  mention  a  number  of  ficti- 
tious events  which  she  asserted  had  happened  in  the 
past  life  of  her  listener,  but  that  individual,  who  did 
not  find  that  her  revelations  agreed  with  his  own 
knowledge  of  his  former  history,  tremblingly  in- 


Madame  Clifton.  345 

formed  her  of  that  fact;  and  she  then,  with  a  most 
vicious  contraction  of  the  overhanging  eyebrows, 
broke  short  the  thread  of  her  fanciful  story,  and 
proceeded  to  "run  him  a  diamond." 

She  evidently  was  determined  to  make  the  diamond 
come  nearer  the  truth — to  which  end  she  dexterously 
strove  by  a  series  of  very  sharp  cross-questionings  to 
elicit  some  circumstance  of  his  early  history,  on  which 
she  might  enlarge,  or  to  get  some  clue  to  his  present 
circumstances,  and  hopes,  and  aspirations,  that  she 
might  find  some  peg  on  which  to  hang  a  prediction  with 
an  appearance  of  probability.  The  Individual — with 
humiliation  he  confesses  it — was  a  bachelor.  His  heart 
had  proved  unsusceptible,  and  Cupid  had  hitherto  failed 
to  hit  him.  On  this  occasion  he  proved  characteris- 
tically unimpressible  ;  and  the  insinuating  smile,  the 
inquiring  look,  and  the  winning  manner,  all  failed  of 
effect,  and  he  remained  pertinaciously  non-committal. 

Finding  this  to  be  the  case,  the  feline  Madame 
changed  her  tactics,  and,  as  if  to  spite  her  intractable 

customer,   began  to  prophesy  innumerable  ills  and 

15* 


346          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

evils  for  him.  She  apparently  strove  to  mitigate,  in 
some  degree,  the  sting  of  her  predictions  by  an  in- 
creased softness  of  manner,  which  was  only  a  more 
cat-like  demeanor  than  ever.  She  spoke  as  follows 
— the  cold  eye  growing  more  cruel,  and  the  wicked 
smile  more  treacherous  every  instant.  First,  however, 
came  this  guileful  question,  which  was  but  a  declara- 
tion of  war  under  a  flag  of  truce : 

"You  do  not  want  me  to  flatter  you,  do  you? 
You  want  me  to  tell  you  exactly  what  I  see  in  the 
cards,  do  you  not  ?"  The  customer  stated  that  he  was 
able  to  bear  at  least  the  recital  of  his  future  adversity, 
even  if,  when  the  reality  came,  he  should  be  utterly 
smashed ;  whereupon  she  proceeded : 

"  I  see  here  a  great  disappointment ;  you  will  be 
disappointed  in  business,  and  the  disappointment  will 
be  very  bitter  and  hard  to  bear — but  that  is  not  all, 
nor  the  worst,  by  any  means.  I  see  a  burial — it  may 
be  only  a  death  of  one  of  your  dearest  friends,  or 
some  near  relative,  such  as  your  sister,  but  I  see  that 
you  yourself  are  weak  in  the  chest  and  lungs ;  you 


Madame  Clifton.  347 

are  impulsive,  proud,  ambitious,  and  quick-tempered, 
which  last  quality  tends  much  to  aggravate  any  dis- 
eases of  the  chest,  and  I  fear  that  the  burial  may  be 
your  own.  Your  disease  is  serious,  you  cannot  live 
long,  I  think — I  do  not  think  you  will  live  a  year — 
in  fact,  there  is  the  strongest  probability  that  you  will 
die  before  nine  months.  I  think  you  will  certainly 
die  before  nine  months,  but  if  you  survive,  it  will 
only  be  after  a  most  severe  and  painful  illness,  in  the 
course  of  which  you  will  undergo  the  extreme  of 
human  suffering.  I  see  that  you  love  a  light-com- 
plexioned  lady,  but  her  friends  object  to  her  marriage 
with  you,  and  are  doing  all  they  can  to  prevent  it. 
A  dark-complexioned  man  is  trying  to  get  her  away 
from  you ;  you  must  beware  of  him  or  he  will  do  you 
great  injury,  for  he  has  both  the  will  and  the  power ; 
he  has  already  deceived  and  injured  you,  and  will  do 
so  again  even  more  deeply  than  he  has  yet.  I  see  a 
journey,  trouble,  and  misfortune,  grief,  sorrow,  heavy 
loss,  and  heaviness  of  heart.  I  again  tell  you  that 
you  will  die  before  nine  months ;  but  if  you  chance 


348         The   Witches  of  New  York. 

to  survive,  it  will  only  be  to  encounter  perpetual 
crosses  and  misfortunes.  I  might,  if  I  was  disposed 
to  flatter  you  and  give  you  false  hopes,  tell  you  that 
you  will  be  lucky,  fortunate  in  business,  that  you  will 
get  the  lady,  and  I  might  promise  you  all  sorts  of 
good  luck,  but  I  don't  want  to  flatter  you ;  it  would 
be  much  more  agreeable  to  me  to  tell  yon  a  good  life, 
for  it  sometimes  pains  me  more  than  I  can  tell  you  to 
read  bad  lives  to  people,  and  I  feel  it  very  deeply ; 
but  I  assure  you  that  I  never  saw  anybody's  cards 
run  as  badly  as  do  yours — I  never  saw  so  many  losses 
and  crosses,  and  so  much  trouble  and  misfortune  in 
anybody's  cards  in  my  whole  life — even  if  you  outlive 
the  nine  months  you  will  have  the  greatest  trouble  in 
getting  the  lady,  and  will  always  have  bad  luck." 

She  then  tried  by  means  of  the  cards  to  spell  out 
the  Inquirer's  name,  but  failed  utterly,  not  getting  a 
single  letter  right ;  then  she  recommenced  and  threat- 
ened him  with  so  much  bad  luck  that  he  began  almost 
to  fear  that  he  would  break  his  leg  before  he  rose 
from  his  chair,  or  would  instantly  fall  down  in  a  fit 


Madame  Clifton.  349 

and  be  carried  off  to  die  at  the  Hospital.  She  told 
him  that  his  lucky  days  were  the  1st,  5th,  17th,  27th, 
and  29th  of  every  month.  Then  perceiving  that  his 
feelings  were  deeply  moved  by  the  intractability  of 
the  "cruel  parients"  of  the  light-complexioned  lady, 
and  the  black  look  of  things  generally,  she  slightly 
relented,  and  went  on  to  say : 

"  If  you  will  put  your  trust  in  me,  and  take  my 
advice  as  a  friend,  I  can  sell  you  something  that  will 
surely  secure  you  the  lady,  and  thwart  all  your  ene- 
mies— it  is  not  for  my  interest  that  I  tell  you  this,  for 
upon  my  honor  I  make  only  five  shillings  upon  fifty 
dollars'  worth — it  is  no  trick,  but  it  is  a  charm  which 
you  must  wear  about  you,  and  which  you  must  wish 
over  about  the  girl  at  stated  times,  and  it  will  be  sure 
to  have  the  desired  effect." 

The  customer  asked  the  price  of  this  wonderful 
charm. 

"  It  is  from  five  to  fifty  dollars,  but  as  you  are  so 
extraordinarily  unlucky  I  would  advise  you  to  take 
the  full  charm.  It  is  the  Chinese  Ruling  Planet 
Charm,  and  I  import  it  from  China  at  great  expense. 


35°         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

You  must  wear  it  about  you,  and  every  time  you  use 
it  you  must  do  it  in  the  name  of  Grod ;  so  you  see 
there  can  be  no  demon  about  it.  By  means  of  this 
charm  I  have  brought  together  husbands  and  wives 
who  have  been  apart  for  three  years,  and  I  say  a  wo- 
man who  can  do  that  is  doing  good,  and  there  is  no 
demon  about  her.  While  you  wear  it  you  will  not 
die  or  meet  with  bad  luck,  but  it  will  change  the 
whole  current  of  your  life." 

She  then  told  her  unlucky  hearer  to  make  a  wish 
and  she  would  tell  him  by  the  cards  whether  he  could 
have  it  or  not.  The  answer  was  in  the  negative,  and 
it  was  evident  that  nothing  but  the  Chinese  Ruling 
Planet  Charm  would  save  him,  and  no  less  than  $50 
worth  of  that.  So  the  smiling  Madame  returned  to 
the  charge.  "  If  you  will  take  my  advice  as  a  friend, 
take  the  charm ;  it  is  for  your  sake  only  that  I  say 
this,  for  I  make  nothing  by  it — but  I  feel  an  interest 
in  you,  and  I  wish  you  would  buy  the  charm  for  my 
sake  as  well  as  your  own,  for  I  want  to  see  its  effect 
on  a  fortune  so  bad  as  yours.  If  you  don't  buy  it, 
and  all  kinds  of  ill-fortune  befalls  you,  don't  say  I 


Madame  Clifton.  351 

didn't  warn  you,  and  don't  call  Madame  Clifton  a 
humbug ;  but  if  you  do  buy  it,  you  may  be  sure  that 
you  will  ever  bless  the  day  you  saw  Madame  Clifton." 

It  is,  perhaps,  needless  to  state  that  the  Indivi- 
dual didn't  have  with  him  the  fifty  dollars  to  pay 
for  the  charm,  but  intimated  that  he  would  call 
again,  after  he  got  his  year's  salary. 

She  then  said :  "If  you  happen  to  call  when  I  am 
engaged,  tell  the  girl  to  say  that  you  want  to  see  me 
about  medicine,  and  I  will  see  you,  for  I  never  put 
off  anybody  who  wants  medicine,  no  matter  who  is 

with  me,  say  medicine,  and  I  will  see  you  instantly." 

«* 

Here  she  softly  showed  her  visitor  to  the  door,  and 
smiled  on  him  until  he  stood  on  the  outside  steps. 
He  then  departed,  secretly  wondering  what  kind  of 
"  medicine  "  she  was  prepared  to  furnish  in  case  any 
unlocked  for  occasion  should  suggest  a  second  call. 
Her  last  remark  suggested  that  Madame  Clifton 
derives  a  larger  profit  from  the  peculiar  kinds  of 
"medicine"  she  deals  in,  than  from  all  her  other 
witchery. 


CHAPTER    XVI. 


Details  the  particulars  of  a  morning  call  on  Madame  Harris, 
of  No.  80  West  1 9th  Street,  and  how  she  covered 
up  her  beautiful  head  in  a  black  bag.     • 


CHAPTER    XVI. 

MADAME   HARRIS,  No.    80   WEST    19™   STREET, 
NEAR    SIXTH    AVENUE. 

MADAME  HARRIS  is  one  of  the  most  ignorant  and 
filthy  of  all  the  witches  of  New  York.  She  does  not 
depend  entirely  on  her  "  astrology  "  for  her  subsist- 
ence, but  relies  on  it  merely  to  bring  in  a  few  dollars 
in  the  spare  hours  not  occupied  in  the  practice  of  the 
other  dirty  trades  by  which  she  picks  up  a  dishonest 
living.  She  has  a  good  many  customers,  and  in  one 
way  and  another  she  contrives  to  get  a  good  deal  of 
money  from  the  gullible  public.  She  has  been 
engaged  in  business  a  number  of  years,  and  has 
thriven  much  better  than  she  probably  would,  had 
she  been  employed  in  an  honester  avocation. 

The  "  Individual "  paid  her  a  visit,  and  carefully 


3J6         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

noted  down  all  her  valuable  communications ;  he  has 
told  the  whole  story  in  the  words  following : 

We  all  believe  in  Aladdin,  and  have  as  much 
faith  in  his  uncle  as  in  our  own  ;  but  we  don't  know 
the  pattern  of  his  lamp,  we  have  no  photograph  of 
the  genii  that  obeyed  it,  and  we  can  make  no  correct 
computation  of  the  market  value  of  the  two  hundred 
slaves  with  jars  of  jewels  on  their  heads.  The 
customer,  who  is  determined  that  posterity  shall  be 
able  to  make  no  such  complaint  of  him  or  of  his 
history,  here  solemnly  undertakes,  upon  the  faith 
of  his  salary,  to  relate  the  unadorned  truth,  and  to 
indulge  in  no  ad  libitum  variations — imagining,  while 
he  writes,  that  he  sees  in  the  distance  the  critical 
public,  like  a  many-headed  Gradgrind,  singing  out 
lustily  for  "  Facts,  sir,  facts." 

The  next  fact,  then,  to  be  investigated  and  sworn 
to,  is  this  Madame  Harris,  a  very  dirty  female  fact 
indeed,  residing  in  the  upper  part  of  the  city,  and 
advertising  as  follows : 

"  MADAME  HARRIS. — This  mysterious  Lady  is  a  wonder  to 


Madame  Harris.  357 

all — her  predictions  are  so  true.  She  can  tell  all  the  events 
of  life.  Office,  No.  80  West  19th-st,  near  6th-av.  Hours 
10  a.m.  to  6  p.m.  Ladies  25  cts. ;  Gentlemen  50  cts.  She 
causes  speedy  marriages ;  charge  extra." 

Wearily  the  inquirer  plodded  his  way  on  foot  to 
West  19th  Street,  fearing  to  trust  himself  to  a  stage 
or  car,  lest  the  careless  conversation  of  the  unthink- 
ing, and  the  reprehensible  jocularity  of  the  little  boys 
who  hang  about  the  corners  of  the  streets  which 
intersect  the  Sixth  Avenue,  and  pelt  unwary  passen- 
gers with  paving-stones,  should  divert  his  mind  from 
the  importance  and  great  moral  responsibility  of  his 
mission. 

After  encountering  a  large  assortment  of  the  dan- 
gers and  discomforts  incident  to  pedestrianism  in 
New  York  in  muddy  weather,  he  achieved  West 
19th  street,  and  stood  in  sight  of  the  mysterious 
domicile  of  Madame  Harris. 

It  is  a  tenement  house,  shabby-genteel  even  in  its 
first  pretentious  newness  ;  but  it  has  now  lost  its  for- 
mer appearance  even  of  semi-respectability,  and  has 


358         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

degenerated  to  a  state  of  dirt  only  conceivable  by 
those  unhappy  families  who  live  two  in  a  house,  and 
are  in  a  constant  state  of  pot-and-kettle  war,  and  of 
mutual  refusing  to  clean  out  the  common  hall. 

A  little  mountain  of  potato  skins,  and  bones,  and 
other  kitchen  refuse,  round  which  he  was  forced  to 
make  a  detour,  plainly  said  to  the  traveller  that  the 
population  of  the  house  No.  80  were  in  the  habit  of 
depositing  garbage  in  the  gutters,  under  cover  of  the 
night,  and  in  violation  of  the  city  ordinance.  A 
highly-perfumed  atmosphere  surrounds  this  delightful 
abode,  for  the  first  floor  thereof  is  occupied  as  a 
livery  stable,  which  constantly  exhales  those  sweet 
and  pungent  odors  peculiar  to  equine  habitations. 

Pulling  the  sticky  bell-handle  with  as  dainty  a 
touch  as  possible,  the  Individual  was  admitted  by  a 
slatternly  weak-eyed  girl  of  about  eighteen,  with  her 
hair  and  dress  as  tumbled  as  though  she  had  just 
been  run  through  a  corn-shelling  machine,  and  who 

was  so  unnecessarily  dirty  that  even  her  face  had  not 

i 

been  washed.     She  was  further  distinguished  by  a 


Madame  Harris.  359 

wart  on  her  nose  of  such  shape  and  dimensions  that 
it  gave  her  face  the  appearance  of  being  fortified  by  a 
many-sided  fort,  which  commanded  the  whole  coun- 
tenance. 

This  interesting  young  female  welcomed  her  visitor 
with  a  clammy  "  Come  in,"  and  led  the  way  up  stairs, 
he  following,  in  due  dread  of  being  for  ever  extin- 
guished by  an  avalanche  of  unwashed  keelers  and 
kettles,  which  were  unsteadily  piled  up  on  the  land- 
ing, and  which  an  incautious  touch  would  have  top- 
pled over,  and  deluged  the  stairs  with  unknown  sweet- 
smelling  compounds,  whose  legitimate  destination 
was  the  sewer.  On  the  second  floor,  directly,  judg- 
ing from  the  noise,  over  the  stall  of  the  balkiest 
horse  in  the  stable  below,  is  the  room  of  the 
Madame. 

The  customer  took  an  observation : 

The  furnishings  of  the  apartment  showed  an 
attempt  to  keep  up  a  show,  which  was  by  far  too 
miserably  transparent  to  hide  the  slovenliness  which 
peeped  out  everywhere  through  the  tawdry  gilding. 


360          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

There  were  so  many  oil  paintings  on  the  walls,  in 
such  gaudy  frames,  that  it  seemed  as  if  the  room  had 
been  dipped  into  a  bath  of  cheap  auction  pictures,  and 
hadn't  been  wiped  dry,  or  had  been  out  in  a  shower 
of  them,  and  hadn't  come  in  until  it  had  got  very 
wet.  A  broad  gilt  window  cornice  stood  leaning  in 
the  corner  of  the  room,  instead  of  being  in  its  legiti- 
mate place ;  a  pair  of  lace  curtains  were  wadded  up 
and  thrown  in  a  chair,  while  the  windows  were 
covered  with  the  commonest  painted  muslin  shades ; 
a  piano-stool  stood  in  the  middle  of  the  room,  but 
there  was  no  piano. 

These  were  the  indications  of  "  better  days ;"  these 
were  the  shallow  traps  set  to  inveigle  the  beholder 
into  a  belief  in  the  opulence  of  the  occupants  of  this 
charming  residence. 

But  the  little  cooking  stove,  on  which  two  smooth- 
ing irons  were  heating,  the  scraps  of  different  pat- 
terned carpets  which  hid  the  floor,  and  made  it 
appear  as  if  covered  with  some  kind  of  variegated 
woollen  chowder,  the  second-hand,  conciliating  please- 


.  Madame  Harris.  361 

buj-me  look  of  the  three  chairs,  and  the  dirt  and 
greasy  grime  which  gave  a  character  to  the  place, 
told  at  once  the  true  state  of  facts. 

On  one  side  of  the  room  was  a  little  door,  evidently 
communicating  with  a  closet  or  small  bed-room ;  on 
this  door  was  a  slip  of  tin,  on  which  was  painted 


Office. — Madam  Harris,  Astrologist. 


and  into  this  "  office"  the  weak-eyed  girl  disappeared, 
with  a  shame-faced  look,  as  if  she  had  tried  to  steal 
her  visitor's  pocket-book,  and  hadn't  succeeded.  Pre- 
sently there  came  from  the  closet  a  sound  of  half- 
suppressed  merriment,  -as  if  a  constant  succession  of 
laughs  were  born  there,  full  grown  and  boisterous, 
but  were  instantly  garroted  by  some  unknown  power, 
until  each  one  expired  in  a  kind  of  choky  giggle. 
There  was  also  a  noise  of  the  making  of  a  bed,  the 
hustling  of  chairs,  the  putting  away  of  toilet  articles 

out  of  sight,  and  over  all  was  heard  the  chiding  voice 

16 


362          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

of  Madame  Harris,  who  was  evidently  dressing  her- 
self, superintending  these  other  various  operations, 
and  scolding  the  weak-eyed  maiden  all  at  once. 

At  last  this  latter  individual  got  so  far  the  better 
of  her  jocularity  that  she  was  able  to  deport  herself 
with  outward  seriousness  when  she  emerged  from  the 
mysterious  closet,  and  said  to  the  Individual,  "  Walk 
in."  At  this  time  she  was  under  so  great  a  head  of 
laugh  that  she  would  inevitably  have  exploded,  had 
she  not,  the  instant  her  visitor  turned  his  back,  let  go 
her  safety-valve,  and  relieved  herself  by  a  guffaw 
which  would  have  been  an  honor  and  a  credit  to  any 
one  of  the  horses  on  the  first  floor. 

The  room  in  which  Madame  Harris  was  waiting  to 
receive  her  customer  was  so  dark  that  he  stumbled 
over  a  chair,  and  fell  across  a  bed  before  he  could  see 
where  he  was.  Then  he  recovered  himself,  and  took 
an  observation. 

The  room  was  a  very  small  one — so  diminutive, 
indeed,  that  the  bed,  which  occupied  one  side  of  it, 
reduced  the  available  space  more  than  two-thirds. 


Madame  Harris.  363 

It  was  partitioned  off  from  the  rest  of  the  room  by 
a  dirty  patch- work  bed-quilt,  with  more  holes  than 
patches.  The  walls  were  scrawled  over  with  pencil- 
marks,  evidently  drawings  made  by  young  children, 
who  had  the  usual  childish  notions  of  proportion  and 
perspective ;  and  on  one  side  of  the  wall,  near  the 
head  of  the  bed,  a  bit  of  pasteboard  persisted  in  this 
startling  announcement — 


CasH 


A  narrow  strip  of  rag  carpet  was  on  the  floor;  a 
small  stand  and  a  chair  completed  the  furnishing  of 
the  room,  and  a  single  smoky  pewter  lamp  exhausted 
itself  in  a  dismal  combat  with  the  gloom,  which 
constantly  got  the  better  of  it. 

When  the  Cash  Inquirer  stumbled,  and  took  an 
involuntary  leap  into  the  middle  of  the  bed,  an  awful 
voice  came  out  of  the  dreariness,  saying,  "  There  is  a 
chair  right  there  behind  you."  This  information 
proved  to  be  correct,  and  the  discomfited  delegate 


364          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

subsided  into  it,  and  gazed  stolidly  at  the  Madame. 
If  Madame  Harris  were  worth  as  much  by  the  pound 
as  beef,  her  market-price  would  be  about  twenty -five 
dollars.  She  was  attired  in  a  loose  morning-gown, 
of  an  exceedingly  flashy  pattern,  open  before,  disclos- 
ing a  skirt  meant  to  be  white,  but  whose  cleanliness 
was  merely  traditional.  Of  her  countenance  her 
visitor  cannot  speak,  for  it  was  carefully  hidden  from 
his  inquiring  gaze,  and  its  unknown  beauties  are  left 
to  the  imagination  of  the  reader.  Perched  mysteri- 
ously on  the  back  of  her  head,  where  it  was  retained 
by  some  feminine  hocuspocus,  which  has  ever  been  a 
sealed  mystery  to  wa/ikind,  was  a  little  black  bonnet, 
marvellous  in  pattern  and  design ;  from  this  depended 
a  long  black  veil,  covering  her  countenance,  and  dis- 
guising her  as  effectually  as  if  she  had  washed  her 
face  and  put  on  a  clean  dress. 

She  proceeded  at  once  to  business,  and  opened  con- 
versation with  this  appropriate  remark:  "My  terms 
is  fifty  cents  for  gentlemen,  and  the  pay  is  always  in 
advance." 


Madame  Harris.  365 

Here  followed  a  disbursement  on  the  part  of  the 
anxious  seeker  after  knowledge,  and  an  approving 
chuckle  was  heard  under  the  veiL 

Taking  up  a  pack  of  cards  so  overlaid  with  dirt 
that  it  was  a  work  of  time  and  study  to  tell  a  queen 
from  a  nine  spot,  or  distinguish  the  knaves  from  the 
aces,  she  presented  them  with  the  imperative  remark : 
"  Cut  them  once." 

Then  ensued  the  following  wonderful  predictions 
uttered  by  a  dubious  and  uncertain  voice  under  the 
veil — which  voice  seemed  one  minute  to  come  from 
the  mouth,  then  it  issued  from  the  throat,  then  it 
sprawled  out  of  the  stomach,  then  it  was  heard  from 
the  back  of  the  head  under  the  bonnet,  and  in  the 
course  of  a  few  minutes  it  came  from  so  many  places, 
that  the  puzzled  hearer  was  dubious  as  to  its  exact 
whereabouts — these  curious  effects  being,  doubtless, 
attributable  to  the  thick  covering  over  the  face.  But 
its  various  communications,  when  gathered  together, 
were  found  to  sum  up  as  follows : 

"  You  face  back  misfortune  and  trouble,  of  which 


366         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

you  have  had  much,  but  they  are  now  behind  you, 
and  you  have  no  more  to  fear.  You  will  henceforth 
be  successful  in  business,  you  will  have  a  great  deal 
of  money.  Your  affection  card  faces  up  a  young 
woman  with  dark  eyes  and  dark  hair,  about  twenty- 
three  years  old ;  she  is  older  than  she  has  led  you  to 
believe  ;  there  is  a  dark-complexioned  man  whom  you 
will  see  in  two  days,  who  is  your  enemy ;  you  may 
not  know  it,  but  you  had  better  beware  of  him,  for 
he  will  do  you  an  injury,  if  he  can ;  you  will  see  him 
and  speak  with  him  the  night  of  day-after-to-morrow. 
Your  marriage  card  faces  up.  this  dark  woman,  as  I 
said  before.  I  don't  see  a  great  deal  of  money  layin' 
round  her,  but  there  is  plenty  of  money  layin'  round 
you  in  the  future.  Somebody  will  die  and  leave  you 
money  within  nine  weeks,  not  counting  this  week. 
You  was  born  under  the  planet  Mars,  which  gives 
you  two  lucky  d&js  in  every  week — Mondays  and 
Thursdays ;  anything  you  begin  on  those  days  will 
surely  succeed." 

Here  she  handed  the  cards  to  be  cut  again,  which 


Madame  Harris.  567 

operation  disclosed  a  new  feature  in  the  Individual's 
matrimonial  future,  for  she  went  on  to  say : 

"  There  is  another  woman  who  faces  your  love- 
card,  who  has  light  hair  and  light  eyes ;  she  favors 
your  love-card  and  will  be  your  first  wife ;  you  will 
have  five  children — four  girls  and  one  boy ;  look  out 
for  the  dark-complexioned  man,  for  he  favors  your 
first  wife,  and,  though  she  does  not  favor  him  very 
much,  he  will  try  to  get  her  away  from  you.  Your 
line  of  life  is  long ;  you  will  live  to  be  sixty-eight 
years  old,  but  you  will  die  very  suddenly,  for  your 
line  of  death  crosses  your  line  of  life  very  suddenly, 
which  always  brings  sudden  death." 

Having  given  this  cheering  promise,  she  again  held 
out  the  cards  to  be  cut,  and  said,  "  Cut  them  again 
now,  and  make  a  wish  at  the  same  time,  and  I  will 
tell  you  if  you  will  have  your  wish." 

When  the  required  ceremony  had  been  solemnly 
performed,  she  continued :  "  You  will  have  your 
wish,  but  not  right  away  ;  don't  expect  to  get  it  before 
week  after  next,  but  then  you  will  be  sure  to  have  it, 


368         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

for  there  is  no  disappointment  in  the  cards  for  you." 
She  then  informed  her  customer  that  she  always 
answered  unerringly  two  questions,  which  he  was  now 
at  liberty  to  propound.  He  made  a  couple  of  inqui- 
ries relative  to  his  future  business  prospects,  and 
received  in  reply  the  promise  of  most  gratifying  results. 

Having  then,  as  he  supposed,  got  his  money's 
worth,  he  was  about  to  take  his  leave,  when  she  inter- 
rupted him  thus : 

"  I  have  a  charm  for  securing  good  luck  to  whoever 
wears  it;  you  can  wear  it,  and  your  most  intimate 
friend  would  never  suspect  it ;  my  charge  is  one  dol- 
lar for  gentlemen ;  a  great  many  have  bought  it  of 
me ;  many  merchants  who  were  on  the  point  of  failing 
have  come  to  me  and  possessed  this  charm,  and  been 
saved ;  you  had  better  possess  it,  for  it  will  be  sure  to 
bring  you  good  luck;  if  you  possess  it,  you  will 
always  be  successful  in  business  ;  Mr.  Lynch  of  Mott 
Street  possessed  it,  and  has  been  very  lucky  ever 
since,  besides  a  great  number  I  could  name ;  my 
advice  to  you  is,  possess  the  charm." 


Madame  Harris.  369 

She  then  put  her  elbows  on  her  knees  after  the 
manner  of  a  Fulton  Market  apple-pedler,  in  which 
classic  attitude  she  awaited  an  answer.  The  decision 
was  not  favorable  to  her  hopes ;  for  the  economical 
customer  concluded  not  to  invest  in  the  charm, 
although  it  had  brought  such  excellent  fortune  to  Mr. 
Lynch  of  Mott  Street.  He  departed,  encountering 
again  in  his  progress  the  weak-eyed  one,  who  met  him 
with  a  smile,  escorted  him  to  the  door  with  a  great 
laugh,  and  dismissed  him  with  a  joyous  grin. 


16* 


CHAPTER     XVII. 


Treats  of  the  peculiarities  of  several  Witches  in  a  single  batch. 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

A  BATCH  OF  WITCHES. 

THE  fortune-tellers  so  elaborately  described  in  the 
foregoing  chapters  are  by  no  means  the  only  ones  in 
New  York,  engaged  in  that  lucrative  occupation; 
there  are  several  others  who  were  visited  by  the 
Individual,  but  who  in  their  surroundings  approach 
so  nearly  to  those  already  set  down,  that  a  detailed 
description  of  each  would  necessarily  be  a  somewhat 
monotonous  repetition.  So  the  prophecy  only  of  each 
one  is  here  writ  down,  with  a  few  words  suggestive 
of  the  character  of  the  immediate  neighborhood, 
leaving  the  imaginative  reader  to  fill  up  the  blank 
himself,  or  to  turn  back  to  some  foregoing  chapter  for 
a  picture  of  a  similar  locality,  if  he  prefers  it  ready- 
made  to  his  hands. 


374  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

MADAME  DE  BELLINI,  No.  159  FORSYTH  STREET. 

For  the  benefit  of  those  not  familiar  with  the 
streets  of  New  York,  it  is  perhaps  well  to  mention 
that  Forsjth  Street  is  a  dirty  thoroughfare,  two 
streets  east  of  the  Bowery,  and  that  it  is  filled  for  the 
most  part  with  small  groceries,  junk  shops,  swill  milk 
dispensaries,  and  stalls  for  the  sale  of  diseased  vege- 
tables and  decaying  fruit,  and  that  the  inhabitants  are 
mostly  delegates  from  Africa,  and  from  the  Green 
Isle  of  the  Sea. 

Immediately  adjoining  the  domicil  of  Madame  de 
Bellini  is  a  filthy  little  vegetable  store,  and  on  the 
opposite  corner  is  an  equally  filthy  Irish  grocery, 
where  are  dispensed  swill  milk  and  poisoned  whiskey. 
The  residence  of  the  Madame  is  a  low  two-story 
brick  house,  of  rather  better  appearance  than  many 
of  its  neighbors,  which  are  principally  wooden  build- 
ings with  those  old-fashioned  peculiar  roofs,  with  little 
windows  close  under  the  cornice,  which  make  a  house 
look  as  if  it  had  had  its  hat  knocked  over  its  eyes. 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  375 

Madame  de  Bellini  is  a  Dutchwoman  of  very  large 
dimensions,  being  a  two-hundred-and-fifty-pounder  at 
the  lowest  estimate.  Like  most  fat  women,  she  is 
good-natured  and  smiling.  She  is  apparently  35 
years  old,  of  pleasant  manners,  somewhat  embar- 
rassed by  the  difficulty  she  has  in  communicating  her 
ideas  in  English,  and  is  much  neater  in  person  and 
dress  than  the  majority  of  ladies  in  the  same  line  of 
business.  She  would  be  a  popular  bar-maid  at  a 
lager-bier  saloon,  and  would  preside  over  the  fortunes 
of  the  sausage  and  Swiss  cheese  table,  with  eminent 
success,  and  satisfaction  to  the  public. 

She  welcomed  the  Cash  Customer  in  a  jolly 
sort  of  way,  introduced  him  to  her  private  apart- 
ment, and  seated  him  on  a  chair  at  one  side  of  a 
little  table,  while  she  bestowed  herself  on  a  stool 
opposite. 

Having  ascertained  that  he  did  not  speak  jjrerman 
with  sufficient  fluency  to  carry  on  an  animated  con- 
versation in  that  tongue,  or  to  comprehend  a  rapidly 
spoken  discourse  delivered  therein,  she  was  compelled 


OF  THE 


376  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

to  ventilate  her  English,  which  she  did,  beginning  as 
follows : 

"I  speak  not  vera  mooch  goot  English — I  speak 
German  and  French,  but  no  goot  English." 

The  Individual,  with  his  usual  caution,  inquired 
how  much  she  proposed  to  charge  for  her  services. 
She  responded  thus : 

{i  I  tell  your  fortoon  fier  ein  tollar,  or  I  can  tell  your 
fortoon  fier  ein  half-tollar." 

Fifty  cents'  worth  was  enough  to  begin  with,  so  she 
took  his  left  hand  in  her  huge  fist,  and  as  a  prelimi- 
nary operation  squeezed  it  till  he  gave  it  up  for  lost, 
and  in  the  intervals  of  his  suffering  hastily  ran  over 
in  his  mind  the  various  ways  in  which  one-handed 
people  get  a  living ;  then  she  relented  and  did  not 
deprive  him  of  that  useful  member,  but  said : 

"You  have  goot  hand,  vera  goot  hand — your  hand 
gifs  you  goot  fortoon.  You  was  born  under  goot 
blanet,  vera  nice  blanet,  you  have  vera  nice  fortoon. 
You  have  mooch  rich,  vera  great  monish ;  you  haf 
seen  drubbles,  (trouble)  vera  mooch  drubbles — more 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  377 

drabbles  you  haf  seen,  as  you  will  see  some  more — 
dat  is,  you  shall  not  have  so  many  drub'bles  py  and  py 
as  you  haf  had  long  ago,  for  you  haf  goot  Dianet. 
You  will  journeys  make  mooch  in  footoor  (future) 
years.  You  will  have  two  wifes  and  mooch  kindes 
(children)  in  der  footoor  years,  and  you  will  be  vera 
mooch  happy  und  bleasant  mit  der  wife  vot  you  shall 
have  der  first  dime,  but  not  so  mooch  happy  und 
bleasant  mit  der  wife  vot  you  shall  have  der  two  time, 
but  you  shall  vera  mooch  monish  have  in  der  fortoor 
years." 

She  then  released  the  hand  of  her  visitor,  who  was 
very  glad  to  get  it  back  again,  and  took  up  a  pack  of 
cards,  which  she  manipulated  in  the  customary  style, 
and  then  said : 

"  Your  carts  run  vera  nice;  you  have  goot  carts  ; 
here  is  a  shentleman's  as  ish  vera  goot  to  you,  he  is 
great  friends  mit  you :  here  is  a  letter  vot  you  shall 
be  come  to  you  right  avays  vera  soon — it  ish  goot 
news  to  you  ;  you  must  do  joost  vot  das  letter  says. 
Here  ish  a  brown  girls  vot  lofs  (loves)  you  vera 


378          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

mooch,  but  you  do  not  lofs  dat  girls,  so  much  as  das 
girls  lofs  you — you  will  not  be  der  vife  of  das  girl, 
for  there  is  anunther  girls  vot  you  lofs  bretty  bad  und 
you  will  marry  her ;  she  is  bretty  goot  girls  und  you 
will  be  happy,  you  will  hof  lots  of  kindes  mit  das 
girls.  Das  girls  haf  a  man  now  vos  lof  her  vera 
mooch — he  is  was  you  call  das  soldier ;  he  lofs  her 
mooch  but  he  shall  not  hof  her,  you  shall  hof  das 
girls.  Here  is  great  man  was  will  be  good  friend  to 
you ;  he  ish  vera  great  man,  a  big  king ;  not  vas  you 
call  der  konig,  but  your  big  mans,  your,  vos  is 
das,  your  bresident — de  bresident  bees  goot  friends 
mit  you — here  is  dark  mans,  he  ish  no  goot  friend 
mit  you,  und  you  must  keep  away  from  das  dark 


mans." 


This  was  all  the  information  she  appeared  to  derive 
from  this  pack,  which  were  ordinary  playing  cards,  so 
she  laid  them  aside  and  took  up  the  regular  fortune- 
telling  cards,  which  are  covered  with  various  mysteri- 
ous devices.  These  did  not  seem  to  communicate 
anything  of  very  special  importance  in  addition  to 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  379 

what  she  had  already  said,  for  she  examined  them 
closely  and  then  merely  summed  up  as  follows : 

"  Goot  fortoon,  goot  blanet,  goot  vifes,  blenty 
monish,  mooch  kindes,  not  more  troubles  in  der 
footoor  years,  big  friends,  bresident  mooch  friends 
mit  you,  lif  long,  ninety-nine  years  before  you  die, 
leave  fortoon  to  vife  und  two  kindes." 

The  Individual  was  curious  to  inquire  wherein 
the  fifty -cent  dose  he  had  received,  differed  from  the 
fortunes  for  which  she  charged  "  ein  tollar,"  and  he 
received  the  following  information  : 

"  For  ein  tollar  I  gifs  you  a  charm  as  you  vears  on 
your  necks,  und  it  gifs  you  goot  luck  for  ever,  und 
you  never  gets  drownded,  und  you  lifs  long  viles, 
und  you  bees  rich  und  vera  mooch  happy." 

The  Madame  was  also  good-natured  enough  to  ex- 
hibit one  of  these  powerful  charms  to  her  customer. 
It  was  a  piece  of  parchment,  originally  about  four 
inches  square,  but  which  had  been  scalloped  on  the 
edges,  and  otherwise  cut  and  carved ;  on  it  were  in- 
scribed in  German,  several  cabalistic  words ;  this 


380  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

potent  document  was  to  be  always  worn  next  the 
heart. 

Madame  de  Bellini  has  been  in  New  York  but  a 
year  or  two  ;  she  speaks  French  and  German,  and  is 
taking  lessons  in  English  from  an  American  lady. 
She  has  many  customers,  mostly  German,  and,  as  in 
the  case  of  all  the  other  witches,  the  greatest  majority 
of  her  visitors  are  women. 

MADAME  LEBOND,  No.    175  HUDSON  STREET. 

The  house  in  which  this  woman  was  sojourning  at 
the  time  of  the  visit  hereinafter  described,  is  a  board- 
ing-house, and  the  room  of  the  Madame  is  the  back 
parlor  on  the  second  floor. 

The  Individual  was  received  at  the  door  by  a 
short,  greasy,  dirty  man,  about  forty  years  of  age, 
who  invited  him  into  the  front  parlor,  to  wait  until 
the  Madame  was  disengaged.  This  man,  who  is  an 
ignorant,  half-imbecile  person,  passes  for  the  husband 
of  the  fortune  teller,  and  is  known  as  Doctor  Lebond. 
He  is  a  man  of  peculiar  appearance ;  the  top  of  his 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  381 

head  is  perfectly  bald,  and  the  fringe  of  hair  about 
the  lower  part  of  it,  is  twisted  into  long  corkscrew 
ringlets,  that  fall  low  down  on  his  shoulders. 

He  informed  the  customer  that  the  Madame  was 
then  engaged,  but  he  seemed  undecided  about  the 
exact  nature  of  her  present  employment.  He  first 
said  she  was  "  tellin'  the  futur  for  a  young  gal ;"  then 
she  was  "engaged  with  a  literary  man;"  then  "a  dry- 
goods  merchant  wanted  to  find  out  if  his  head  clerk 
didn't  drink  ;"  but  finally  he  said  that  "  Madame  L. 
is  a  eatin'  of  her  dinner."  After  some  ingenious 
drawing-out,  the  Doctor  vouchsafed  the  subjoined 
statement  of  his  business  prospects. 

"  We  seen  the  time  when  we  hadn't  fifteen  minutes 
a  day,  on  account  of  young  gals  a  comin'  for  to  have 
their  fortune  told ;  we  used  to  be  busy  from  mornin7 
till  ten  and  'levin  o'clock  at  night  a-tellin'  fortunes 
an'  a  doctorin' — but  now,  we  don't  do  so  much  'cause 
the  young  gals  don't  like  to  come  to  a  boardin' -house 
where  young  men  can  see  'em,  'specially  in  the  even- 
in'.  We's  too  public  here  ;  the  young  men  a-boardin' 


382          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

here  likes  for  to  have  the  young  gals  come,  they  likes 
for  to  see  'em  in  the  parlor,  but  the  young  gals  won't 
come  so  much,  'cause  we's  too  public.  We'll  have  for 
to  get  another  house  on  account  of  business. 

"  I  don't  get  so  much  doctorin'  to  do  as  I  used  to, 
'cause  we's  too  public.  I  have  doctored  lots  of  folks, 
principally  young'  fellers  and  young  gals,  and  I  can 
do  it  right.  If  you  ever  get  into  any  trouble  you'll 
find  me  and  my  wife  all  right  ;  you  can  come  to  us — 
we  mean  to  be  all  right,  and  to  give  everybody  the 
worth  of  their  money,  and  we  is  all  right." 

By  this  time,  Madame  Lebond  had  finished  her  din- 
ner, and  was  waiting  in  the  back  parlor.  She  is  a 
fat,  slovenly -looking  woman,  forty  years  old  or  more, 
having  no  teeth,  and  taking  prodigious  quantities  of 
snuff,  which  gives  her  enunciation  some  peculiar  cha- 
racteristics. 

When  the  Individual  first  beheld  her,  she  was 
standing  in  the  middle  of  the  floor,  picking  her  teeth. 
She  requested  her  visitor  to  take  a  seat,  and  to  pay 
her  half-a-dollar,  with  both  of  which  requests  he  com- 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  383 

plied.  She  then  put  into  his  hand  the  end  of  a  brass 
tube  about  an  inch  in  diameter  and  a  foot  long,  and  said: 
"  Give  be  the  tibe  of  your  birth  as  dear  as  possible." 

This  was  done,  and  the  following  brief  dialogue 
ensued : — 

"  Was  you  bord  id  the  bording  ?" 

"  I  really  don't  remember." 

"  Do  you  have  beddy  dreabs?" 

"  I  do  not  dream  much." 

"  Thed  you  dod't  have  bad  dreabs  ?" 

"No." 

"Thed  you  was  bord  id  the  bording,"  by  which 
mysterious  word  she  probably  meant,  "morning." 
She  then  continued : — 

"  You  are  a  pretty  keed  sbart  chap — sharp  id  busi- 
dess,  but  dot  good  id  speculatiods,  ad  you  should 
codfide  your  attedtiods  to  busidess.  If  you  keep  od 
as  you  are  goidg  dow,  ad  works  hard,  ad  dod't  bix  id 
bad  cobpady,  ad  is  hodest,  ad  dod't  spend  your  buddy, 
you  will  be  rich.  You  will  travel  buch — you  have 
travelled  buch,  but  your  travels  is  hardly  begud; 


384  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

there  is  a  lodg  jourdey  at  sea  dow  before  you,  ad  you 
will  start  od  this  jourdey  host  udexpectedly ;  you 
will  always  be  lucky,  ad  will  be  very  rich.  I  dod't 
say  dothin'  to  flatter  do  wud  ;  lots  of  fellers  ad  gals 
cub  here  ad  I  tell  theb  all  jest  what  I  see ;  if  I  see 
bad  luck  I  tell  theb  so ;  but  yours  is  all  good  luck, 
ad  I  see  lots  of  it  for  you.  You  have  had  bad  luck 
lately,  but  you  will  get  over  your  bad  luck  for  you 
are  a  pretty  sbardt  chap,  ad  have  got  a  good  deal  of 
abbitiod,  ad  you  go  ahead  pretty  well.  You  will 
barry  a  gal — a  gal  as  you  have  seed  but  dod't  know. 
Very  well,  she  is  a  youdg  gal,  ad  a  rich  gal,  ad  a  good- 
lookidg  gal;  you  will  dot  barry  her  for  sobe  tibe, 
but  you  will  barry  her  at  last.  She  has  a  beau  ad 
you  will  likely  have  sobe  trouble  with  hib,  but  you 
will  get  the  gal  at  last.  The  gal  has  light  hair  ad 
blue  eyes,  ad  I  cad  show  her  to  you  if  you  would 
like  to  see  her." 

Of  course  the  visitor  liked  to  see  her ;  so  he 
was  directed  to  clasp  the  brass  tube  in  his  right 
hand,  and  place  his  hand  over  the  top.  Then  she 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  385 

stepped  behind  his  chair  and  began  to  go  through 
with  some  extraordinary  manual  exercises  on  his 
head.  She  felt  of  the  bumps,  she  squeezed  his  head, 
punched  it,  jerked  it  from  side  to  side,  and  twisted 
it  about  in  every  possible  direction.  "What  was  the 
object  and  intention  of  this  performance  she  did  not 
disclose,  but  when  she  had  kneaded  his  unfortunate 
skull  to  her  satisfaction,  she  bade  him  step  to  the 
window  and  look  into  the  tube. 

This  he  did,  and  he  saw  a  very  dingy-looking 
daguerreotype  of  a  fair-haired  damsel  with  blue  eyes, 
who  bore,  of  course,  not  the  most  distant  resemblance 
to  any  lady  of  his  acquaintance. 

Then  the  fat  Madame  had  a  charm  to  sell,  to  be 
worn  about  the  neck,  and  never  taken  off,  in  which  case 
it  would  secure  for  the  wearer  "  good  luck  "  for  ever. 

The  Individual  declined  to  purchase  and  de- 
parted, meeting  at  the  door  the  curly  Doctor,  who 
once  again  offered  his  medical  services  in  case  the 
stranger  ever  got  into  "  trouble,"  and  who  once  again 

assured  that  person  with  an  air  of  mystery  that  "  me 

17 


386         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

and  my  wife  is  all  right — yes,  you  may  depend,  we 
is  all  right,  we  is." 


MADAME  MAR,  AND  MADAME  DE  GORE,  No.  176 
VARICK  STREET. 

These  two  eminent  sorceresses  are  in  partnership, 
and  drive  a  tolerably  fair  trade.  They  advertise  in 
the  papers,  one  week  the  heading  being  "  Madame 
Mar,  assisted  by  Madame  de  Gore,"  and  the  next  week, 
it  will  be  "  Madame  de  Gore,  assisted  by  Madame 
Mar,"  and  the  profits  of  the  business  are  shared  in  the 
same  impartial  manner. 

The  house,  No.  176,  is  in  the  worst  part  of  Yarick 
Street,  and  the  room  occupied  by  the  pair  of  witches 
is  over  a  boot  and  shoe  store,  and  a  pawnbroker's 
shop  is  directly  opposite. 

The  room  is  a  small  parlor,  neatly  though  plainly 
furnished,  and  with  no  professional  implements  visible. 
When  the  inquirer  made  his  call,  Madame  de  Gore 
was  engaged  in  the  kitchen,  in  her  various  household 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  387 

duties,  and  Madame  Mar  attended  to  his  call.  She  is 
a  tall  and  rather  pleasing  woman,  neatly  dressed  and 
of  quiet  manners. 

She  secured  a  dollar  in  advance,  and  then  led  her 
customer  into  a  little  closet-like  room,  furnished  only 
with  a  small  table  and  two  chairs.  She  then 
announced  that  she  is  a  "  phrenologist,"  and  exhibited 
a  plaster  bust  with  the  "  bumps  "  scientifically  marked 
out,  and  also  some  phrenological  charts  and  other 
publications.  She  proceeded  to  give  the  character  of 
her  visitor  in  the  usual  mode  of  phrenological  exami- 
nations, after  which  she  prophesied  as  follows : 

"  You  were  born  between  Jupiter  and  Mars,  with 
such  stars  you  can  never  be  unlucky,  for  although  you 
have  seen  trouble,  it  is  past.  Your  luck  runs  in 
threes  and  fives — that  is,  you  are  unlucky  three  years 
in  succession,  and  lucky  the  five  years  following. 
You  are  never  very  unlucky,  but  you  do  not  do  so 
well  in  your  third  house  as  in  your  fifth  house.  You 
could  not  be  unlucky  in  your  fifth  house  if  you  tried. 
You  have  now  two  months  to  run  in  your  third 


388         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

house,  then  comes  on  your  fifth  house.  Just  now 
your  life  seems  to  be  under  a  cloud,  but  after  two 
months  you  will  come  out  bright  and  will  enjoy  five 
years  of  clear  sunshine,  and  you  will  then  be  very 
wealthy.  You  will  have  more  money  then  than  you 
ever  will  again,  though  you  will  always  have  plenty. 
Your  wealth  runs  14  at  the  end  of  five  years ;  after 
that  runs  13 £,  which  is  very  wealthy.  You  will 
marry  a  young  girl,  wealthy  and  beautiful.  You  will 
raise  two  daughters,  but  you  will  never  have  a  large 
iamily.  You  will  be  the  father  of  many  children,  but 
your  family  will  never  be  more  than  two  children. 
You  will  go  in  business  with  a  very  wealthy  Southern 
man,  his  wealth  runs  14 — he  has  two  sons  and  a 
daughter.  You  will  marry  the  daughter,  though  you 
will  be  opposed  by  the  father  and  one  son,  but  the 
other  son  will  stick  by  you.  You  will  live  with  that 
wife  twenty-five  years,  then  she  will  die  and  you  will 
travel  with  your  two  daughters.  You  will  go  to 
Europe.  In  England  you  will  marry  a  French 
widow.  Your  two  daughters  will  marry  well,  and  at 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  389 

72  or  73  years  old  you  will  die,  leaving  a  widow,  two 
daughters,  and  a  large  fortune." 

Madame  de  Gore  did  not  make  her  appearance  at 
all,  and  after  Madame  Mar  had  failed  to  induce  her 
visitor  to  pay  her  an  extra  dollar  for  a  phrenological 
chart,  she  politely  showed  him  out. 

MADAME  LANE,  No.  159  MULBERRY  STREET. 

This  distinguished  lady  lives  in  a  dirty,  dilapidated 
mansion,  at  the  corner  of  Grand  and  Mulberry  Streets. 
The  Cash  Customer  was  admitted  by  the  Madame 
herself,  who  desired  him  to  be  seated  for  a  few 
minutes,  until  she  had  concluded  her  business  with  a 
boy  of  about  17  years  old,  who  had  called  to  find  out 
what  would  be  the  winning  numbers  in  the  next 
Georgia  lottery.  Two  dirty -faced  children  were  play- 
ing about  the  room,  making  a  great  noise. 

One  corner  of  the  room  was  fenced  off  with  rough 
boards,  forming  a  narrow  closet,  in  which  two  people 
could,  with  some  difficulty,  sit  down.  This  was  the 


39°         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

astrological  chamber ;  the  mystic  room  into  which 
visitors  were  conducted  to  have  their  fortunes  told. 

Madame  Lane  is  of  the  Irish  breed ;  is  red-haired, 
freckled,  and  dirty  to  a  degree.  Her  dress  was 
ragged,  showing  a  soiled,  dingy  petticoat  through 
the  rents. 

She  seated  her  customer  in  the  little  room,  pro- 
duced a  pack  of  cards,  and  proceeded  to  tell  his 
future,  at  times  shouting  out  threats  and  words  of 
warning  to  the  noisy  brats  outside.  Then  she  said, 

"  You  are  a  man  as  has  seen  a  great  deal  of  trouble 
in  the  past." 

It  will  be  noticed  that  this  is  almost  a  universal 
remark  with  the  witches,  probably  because  it  is  a 
perfectly  safe  thing  to  assert  of  any  person  in  the 
world. 

"  Yes,  you  have  seen  trouble  in  the  past,  not  real 
trouble,  such  as  sickness,  or  losses  in  business,  but 
still,  trouble,  and  your  mind  has  been  going  this  way 
and  that  way  and  t'other  way,  but  now  all  your 
trouble  and  disappointment  is  past,  and  your  mind 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  391 

wont  go  this  way  and  that  way  any  more.  Stop  that 
noise  you  brats  or  I'll  beat  you."  (This  to  the  chil- 
dren.) 

"  Your  cards  run  lucky,  'cause  you  were  born  under 
Jupiter,  and  folks  as  is  borned  under  Jupiter  will 
always  be  lucky  in  business,  in  love,  and  in  every- 
thing they  undertake.  If  your  business  sometimes 
goes  this  way,  and  that  way,  and  t'other  way,  it  will 
all  come  out  right,  for  when  a  man  is  borned  under 
Jupiter  he  must  be  all  right  in  his  business,  and  in 
his  love,  and  in  his  marriage,  and  in  his  children. 
Young  ones  stop  that  noise  or  I'll  beat  you  black  and 
blue.  You  have  had  sickness  lately  and  your  mind 
has  been  going  this  way,  and  that  way,  and  t'other 
way,  but  you  need  not  worry  for  it  will  be  all  right 
soon.  Children  stop  that  row  or  clear  right  out  to 
the  kitchen.  Now  mind.  I  tell  you.  I  see  a  girl 
here  that  loves  you  very  much,  but  you  don't  love 
her  and  won't  marry  her,  but  you  will  marry  another 
girl  with  black  whiskers ;  no,  I  mean  the  feller  that 
is  coortin'  her  has  got  black  whiskers,  and  I  fear  you 


392          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

will  have  trouble  with  black  whiskers  if  you  are  not 
careful — the  girl  has  got  black  hair  and  is  miserable 
because  you  don't  write  to  her.  I'm  coming  after 
you,  young  ones  there,  with  a  raw  hide  and  I'll  cut 
the  skin  off  your  backs.  You  will  marry  this  gal 
and  you  will  be  very  happy,  and  will  have  three 
children,  which  will  be  joys  to  you.  Children,  I'll 
come  and  kill  you  in  two  minutes.  And  you  will 
always  be  prosperous  in  your  business,  and  you  will 
be  very  rich,  and  you  will  live  to  be  eighty-five 
years  old.  Now  you  can  cut  the  cards  and  make  a 
wish  and  I  will  tell  you  if  it  will  come  true.  Yes, 
your  wish  will  come  true,  because  you  have  cut  the 
knave,  and  queen,  and  king — if  you'd  like  a  speedy 
marriage  with  the  gal  I  told  you  of,  I'll  fix  it  for  you 
for  fifty  cents  extra ;  children  if  you  don't  shut  up 
I'll  come  and  beat  you  blind." 

The  Individual  invested  a  half-dollar  as  requested, 
and  received  in  return  a  white  powder  with  these 
instructions ; — 

"  You  will  burn  that  powder  just  before  you  get 


' 


A  Batch  of  Witches.  393 

into  bed,  and  if  you  see  the  gal  to-nigkt  you  won't 
see  no  change  in  her,  but  she  will  be  changed  to-mor- 
row. She  is  kinder  down  on  you  now,  but  she 
loves  you  though  her  mind  is  kinder  this  way  and 
that  way,  but  she  will  be  changed  toward  you  to- 
night by  what  I  will  do  after  you  are  gone." 

The  customer  departed,  leaving  this  fond  mother 
engaged  in  an  active  skirmish  with  the  two  children, 
both  of  whom  finally  escaped  into  the  street  with 
great  howlings. 

Madame  Lane  does  a  good  business.  She  says 
that  in  pleasant  weather  she  has  from  twenty-five  to 
fifty  calls  a-day,  mostly  women  ;  but  in  bad  weather 
not  more  than  fifteen  or  twenty,  and  these  of  the  other 
sex.  Many  of  these  come  only  to  learn  lucky  numbers 
for  lottery  gambling,  and  policy  playing. 


17* 


CHAPTER     XVIII. 


Conclusion. 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

CONCLUSION. 

IT  lias  been  already  mentioned  that  there  are  a  num- 
ber of  persons  in  the  city  who  do  more  or  less  in  the 
fortune-telling  way,  who  never  advertise  for  custom- 
ers. These  we  must  leave  to  their  own  seclusion ; 
as  our  business  has  been  with  those  who  make  a 
business  of  this  species  of  swindling,  and  who  use  all 
manner  of  arts  to  entice  the  curious,  or  the  credulous, 
into  their  dens,  there  not  only  robbing  them  of  their 
money,  bat  often  putting  them  in  the  way  to  be  in- 
jured much  more  deeply.  This,  of  course,  is  espe- 
cially the  case  with  young  girls. 

In  carder  to  give  the  readers  of  this  book  an  idea  of 
the  part  taken  by  these  fortune-telling  women  in 
many  of  the  terrible  dramas  of  crime  constantly  enact- 


398         The  Witches  of  New  York. 

ing  in  city  life,  an  extract  showing  the  modus  ope- 
randi  is  here  inserted.  It  is  from  one  of  a  series  of 
very  useful  little  books  published  in  this  city,  and 
entitled,  "  Tricks  and  Traps  of  New  York." 

Speaking  of  New  York  fortune-tellers,  the  author 
says,  having  previously  indulged  in  some  severe  re- 
marks about  "  yellow-covered"  novels : 

"  To  see  how  the  fortune-teller  performs  her  part, 
let  us  suppose  a  case : 

"  A  young,  credulous  girl,  whose  mind  has  been 
poisoned  by  the  class  of  fictions  above  referred  to,  is 
induced  to  visit  a  modern  witch,  for  the  purpose  of 
having  her  '  fortune  told.7  The  woman  is  very 
shrewd,  and  perceives,  in  a  moment,  the  kind  of  cus- 
tomer she  has  to  deal  with.  Understanding  her  busi- 
ness well,  she  is  perfectly  aware  that  love  and  mar- 
riage— courtship,  lovers,  and  wedded  bliss — are  the 
subjects  which  are  most  agreeable. 

"  She  begins  by  complimenting  her  customer :  '  such 
beautiful  eyes,  such  elegant  hair,  such  a  charming 


Conclusion.  399 

form,  and  graceful  manners,  are  altogether  too  fine 
for  a  servant  or  working  girl.'  She  must  surely  be 
intended  for  a  higher  station  in  life,  and  she  will  cer- 
tainly attain  it.  She  will  rise  in  the  world,  by  mar- 
riage, and  will  one  day  be  one  of  the  finest  ladies  in 
the  land.  Her  husband  will  be  the  handsomest  man 
she  has  ever  seen,  and  her  children  will  be  the  most 
beautiful  in  the  world.  Fortune-tellers  always  foretell 
many  children  to  their  female  customers  ;  for  the  in- 
stinct of  maternity,  the  yearning  desire  for  offspring, 
is  one  of  the  strongest  feelings  of  human  nature. 

"  Much  more  of  this  sort  is  said ;  and  if  the  witch 
finds  her  talk  eagerly  listened  to,  she  knows  exactly 
how  to  proceed.  She  appoints  days  for  other  visits ; 
for  she  desires  to  get  as  many  half-dollars  out  of  her 
dupe  as  she  can.  Meantime,  the  girl  has  been  think- 
ing of  what  she  has  heard,  has  pictured  to  herself  a 
brilliant  future — a  rich  husband — every  luxury  and 
enjoyment — and,  upon  the  whole,  has  built  so  many 
castles  in  the  air,  that  her  brain  is  half-bewildered. 
Even  though  she  may  not  believe  a  tittle  of  what  is 


400          The  Witches  of  New  York. 

« 

said  to  her,  feminine  curiosity  will  generally  lead  her 
to  make  a  second  visit ;  and  when  the  fortune-teller 
sees  her  come  upon  a  like  errand  a  second  time,  she 
sets  down  her  prey  as  tolerably  sure  and  lays  her 
plans  accordingly. 

"  She  goes  on  to  state  to  the  girl,  in  her  usual  rigma- 
role style,  that  she  will,  in  a  few  weeks,  meet  with  a 
lover ;  and  perhaps  she  may  receive  a  present  of 
jewelry;  and  by  that  she  will  know  that  the  'hand- 
some young  man  '  has  seen,  and  been  smitten  by  her 
many  charms. 

"When  the  half-believing  girl  has  gone,  the  schem- 
ing sorceress  calls  to  her  aid  her  confederate  in  the 
game — the  party  who  is  to  personate  '  the  handsome 
young  man.'  This  is  usually  a  spruce-looking  fel- 
low, who  makes  this  particular  kind  of  work  his 
regular  business  ;  or  it  may  be  some  rich  debauchee, 
who  is  seeking  another  victim,  will  come  and  lie  in 
wait,  either  behind  the  curtain  or  in  the  next  room, 
where,  through  some  well-contrived  crevice,  he  can 
see  and  hear  all  that  is  going  on.  One  or  the  other 


Conclusion.  401 

of  these  men  it  is  that  is  to  assist  the  witch  in  fulfil- 
ling her  prophecies ;  who  is,  at  the  proper  time,  to 
be  in  the  way  to  personate  the  ( young  beau,'  or 
'  rich  southerner,'  and  to  induce  her  to  visit  a  house 
of  assignation,  or,  in  some  way,  accomplish  her  ruin. 
"  Persons  who  have  been  puzzled  to  know  how 
many  of  the  young  fellows  get  their  living  who  are 
seen  about  town,  always  well  dressed,  and  with 
plenty  of  cash,  and  yet  having  no  apparently  respect- 
able means  of  living,  will  find  a  future  solution 
of  their  questions  in  this  explanation.  Many  of 
these  men  are  'kept'  by  their  mistresses,  or  by 
the  proprietors  of  houses  of  ill-fame ;  in  the  latter 
case,  to  make  acquaintance  with  strangers,  and  to 
bring  business  to  those  houses.  They  are  often  very 
fine-looking  and  well-appearing  men,  and  possessed 
of  good  natural  abilities ;  but,  from  laziness  or  crime, 
or  some  other  cause,  adopt  the  meanest  possible  busi- 
ness a  man  can  stoop  to.  Humiliating  as  this  may 
seem,  and  degrading  as  it  is  to  poor  human  nature, 
what  we  state  is,  nevertheless,  the  literal  truth. 


402          The  Witches  6*f  New  York. 

"  But,  to  come  back  to  our  supposed  case.  A  few 
days  after  her  visit  to  the  witch,  the  girl  actually 
does,  perhaps,  receive  a  present,  as  the  witch  pre- 
dicted ;  this  not  only  pleases  her  vanity  and  love  of 
admiration,  but  disposes  her  to  put  confidence  in  the 
powers  of  the  fortune-teller  to  read  coming  events. 
Straightway  the  deluded  girl  goes  again  to  the  witch, 
to  tell  how  things  have  fallen  out,  as  she  foretold, 
and  to  seek  further  light  upon  the  subject.  It  is  now 
the  cue  of  the  prophetess  to  describe  the  young  man. 
This  she  does  in  glowing  terms;  never  failing  to 
endow  him  with  a  large  fortune ;  and  the  poor  girl 
goes  away  with  her  head  more  turned  than  ever." 

########• 

"  Enraptured  with  a  description,  or  sight  of  the 
picture  of  her  fond  love,  the  deluded  girl  is  now  all 
anxiety  to  see  him  in  person.  The  witch  accordingly 
gives  her  some  magical  powder  (price  one  dollar), 
which  she  is  to  put  under  her  pillow  every  night  for 
seven  nights,  or  wear  next  her  heart  for  nine  days,  or 
some  other  nonsense  of  that  kind,  at  the  end  of 


Conclusion.  403 

which,  time,  she  is  told  to  take  the  ferry-boat  to 
Hoboken  or  some  such  place,  at  a  certain  hour  in  the 
afternoon,  and  somewhere  on  her  route  she  will  have 
a  sight  of  the  gentleman  she  is  almost  crazed  to  see. 
The  result  is  plain,  the  '  gentleman '  is  there  as 
foretold,  an  acquaintance  is  commenced,  and  the  girl 
is  ultimately  ruined. 

"We  have  been  thus  particular  to  give,  step  by 
step,  the  details  of  the  mode  of  management  pursued 
in  these  cases.  There  are,  of  course,  many  varieties, 
dictated  by  the  circumstances  of  each  case,  but  the 
general  features  and  the  result,  are  the  same. 

"  The  incidents  above  given  are  the  outlines  of  a 
real  case  in  which  the  end  of  the  conspirators  was 
accomplished ;  the  girl,  however,  was  rescued  by  the 
Managers  of  the  Magdalen  Asylum,  and  is  now  lead- 
ing a  blameless  life." 

The  "  Individual "  has  now  concluded  his  labors, 
and  he  hopes  not  without  profit  to  the  community  at 
large. 

He  has  heard  it  urged  that  this  book  will  merely 


404  The  Witches  of  New  York. 

advertise  the  fortune-tellers,  and  that  they  will  go  on 
driving  a  more  flourishing  trade  than  ever.  He  can- 
not think  that  this  will  be  the  case ;  he  cannot  believe 
that  any  persons  who  read  in  this  book  the  candid 
exposition  of  the  style  of  necromancy  dealt  out  by 
the  modern  Circes,  will  be  willing  to  pay  money  for 
any  personal  experience  of  them,  and  he  respectfully 
submits  that  although  they  have  heretofore  been  con- 
sulted by  many  ladies  of  respectability,  from  motives 
of  mere  curiosity,  those  ladies  will  risk  no  further 
visits  when  they  learn  that  they  may  with  as  much 
propriety  visit  any  other  assignation  house,  as  a 
fortune-teller's  den. 

A  recapitulation  of  the  various  prophecies  made  to 
the  Cash  Customer  would  show  that  he  has  been 
promised  thirty-three  wives,  and  something  over 
ninety  children — that  he  was  brought  into  the  world 
on  various  occasions  between  1820  and  1833 — that 
he  was  born  under  nearly  all  the  planets  known  to 
astronomers — that  he  has  more  birth-places  than  he 
has  fingers  and  toes — that  he  has  passed  through  so 


Conclusion.  405 

many  scenes  of  unexpected  happiness  and  complicated 
misfortune  in  his  past  life,  that  he  must  have  lived 
fifty  hours  to  the  day  and  been  wide  awake  all  the 
time — and  he  has  so  many  future  fortunes  marked 
out  for  him  that  at  three  hundred  and  fifty  years  old 
his  work  will  not  be  half  done,  and  when  at  last  all 
is  finally  accomplished,  a  minute  dissection  of  his 
aged  corpus  will  be  necessary,  that  his  earthly 
remains  may  be  buried  in  all  the  places  set  down 
for  him  by  these  prophets. 

But  aside  from  a  humorous  contemplation  of  the 
subjects,  he  trusts  he  has  done  his  work  well ;  he  is 
sure  he  has  done  it  faithfully,  and  he  honestly  hopes 
that  some  good  may. come  of  his  labors  to  write 
down  here  honestly  the  ignorance  and  imbecility  of 
The  Witches  of  New  York. 

THE    END. 


OF  THE     " 

UNIVERSITY 

OF 

£!UF< 


FOURTEEN  DAY  USE 

RETURN  TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 


This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below,  or 

on  the  date  to  which  renewed. 
Renewed  books  are  subject  to  immediate  recall. 


, .    •.     V,'  L-  ay 

*        "T     :    -r- 


JUN    2 '65 -4PM 
KV2  0  1977 


iMar'BOMJ 


REC 


WAR  2  9  iyb<i 


20 


m 


LD  21-100m-2,'55 
(B139s22)476 


General  Library 

University  of  California 

Berkeley 


YB  22890 


